President Abraham Lincoln once said of a person, “I do not like that man; I must get to know him better.”

Lincoln knew that actually knowing, and then understanding a person, would make it much less likely that you would not like them. These days, we often make snap judgments about people. We base them on little information. Then hold on to that opinion, virtually forever.

We then tend to avoid those people as much as possible. The challenge with that, of course, is that it limits our ability to expand our own horizons. When we associate only with people who we like, we limit ourselves. The most likely reason we like them is because they are a lot like us. They think like us, they talk like us, they might even dress like us. They know and believe the same things we do.

That’s great except it’s unlikely that they will be able to help us grow. Growth most often comes when we are uncomfortable. Associating with people who are different from us, people we may not like, makes us uncomfortable. That’s why we tend to avoid them.

But truly, having the opportunity to reach our full potential most often requires being uncomfortable on a regular basis. That includes associating with people we would rather stay away from.

Associating with and even actually getting along with people you don’t naturally click with can be challenging. But it’s a valuable skill for both personal and professional settings. Here are some ideas to help you build that skill.

Adjust Your Perspective
Try not to focus on the traits you dislike. Instead, find something to appreciate in them, no matter how small. This shift can help you see them in a more neutral, less emotionally charged way.

Empathy and Understanding
Sometimes people act in ways that reflect their own challenges, insecurities, or past experiences. Imagining the world from their perspective can help you see where they’re coming from and reduce frustration.

Set Clear Boundaries
You don’t need to become close with people you don’t like. Maintain clear, respectful boundaries so you have control over the level and type of interactions you have with them.

Focus on the Task, Not the Person
If you’re working together, focus on the objective instead of the relationship. This can help keep things professional and ensure that you accomplish what needs to be done without getting sidetracked by personal feelings.

Limit Reactivity
Avoid reacting emotionally to things that bother you. Take a deep breath, pause, and remind yourself not to take things personally. Staying calm and neutral can defuse tension and prevent situations from escalating.

Practice Patience and Tolerance
Remind yourself that you don’t have to agree with someone to be polite and civil. Tolerance can allow you to engage without emotionally investing in their quirks or irritating habits.

Keep Interactions Short and Purposeful
If you really struggle to be around someone, limit the duration and scope of your interactions. Stick to the essentials, and give yourself space to recharge afterward.

Communicate Directly but Respectfully
If there’s a specific behavior causing conflict, address it with kindness. Speak in “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and focus on how their actions affect your needs or goals rather than criticizing them directly.

Develop a Sense of Humor
Laughing things off or seeing the humor in a situation can help lighten the mood and make interactions feel less strained. Just be careful to avoid humor that could come across as mocking or sarcastic.

Focus on Self-Improvement
Difficult interactions can actually be opportunities to work on your own patience, empathy, and communication skills. View these interactions as a chance to grow and improve.

Generally speaking, I think it’s worth the effort to try and at least develop a professional relationship, even with people who you could never be friendly with. But there are exceptions. Some people, I hope a very few, are just too morally bankrupt to invest time and effort with. That’s a sad fact but a fact nonetheless.

But don’t let those very few prevent you from making an effort to turn an unfriendly relationship into a productive one.