Month January 2024

The Trouble With I

Steve Keating 8 Comments

Abraham Lincoln, who served as the 16th President of the United States was known as a man who seldom used the word I. He had the ability to give entire speeches without using that one letter word.

There was a more recent President of the United States who used the word I over 200 times in a relatively short speech. Surprising new research from the University of Texas suggests that people who often say “I” are less powerful and less sure of themselves than those who limit their use of the word. Frequent “I” users subconsciously believe they are subordinate to the person to whom they are talking.

Using the word “I” excessively in speech or writing can also reveal a few other things about someone. It may suggest a self-centered or egocentric perspective, a lack of consideration for others’ viewpoints, or a tendency to dominate conversations.

Here’s the point: over using the word I is not good. It makes you seem very self-centered. It makes you sound like a jerk. It is not an effective way to communicate. It turns people off.

A leader who is constantly using “I” as in “I want” or “I need” or “I expect” is likely doing great harm to the morale of their team. They are in fact tearing at the fabric of the team. Not intentionally mind you, but they are damaging the team nonetheless.

Let me give you a recent example. I was on a call with a sales team and there were some tactics they needed to be executed on in a short period of time. The sales manager laid out a laundry list of things “he” needed his team to do. It was a long list of “I” need everyone doing this and “I” need everyone doing that. “I” want this level of effort and the only reason you need for doing any of that is “I want” it done.

It was a teams call so I could see the demoralized faces of the team.

After the call I suggested to the sales manager that the call may have gone better if he had just replaced each “I” with “we”. For example, “we have some ground to make up.” “We need to pull together.” “We need to do this and we need to do that.” “We need to do it together, for each other, because it’s how a true team functions.”

The sales manager was undeterred. He not so politely told me “the team” belonged to him. It’s not their team, “it’s mine.” I knew from previous conversations that this manager was basically uncoachable but I gave it a shot because the overuse of “I” in his conversations was so immensely glaring.

But maybe you’re more open to coaching and would like your conversations to be more inclusive and collaborative. The kind of conversations where both parties feel heard and valued. To do that you’ll need to limit your use of the word “I.”

If that sounds like you then here are a few quick ideas that may help.

• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of starting sentences with “I think” or “I feel,” ask questions that encourage the other person to share their thoughts and experiences.

• Use Statements: Instead of saying “I believe,” state your opinion or perspective without explicitly referring to yourself. For example, say “This seems to be a good approach” instead of “I believe this is a good approach.”

• Active Listening: Show that you’re engaged in the conversation by actively listening to the other person. Respond to what they say rather than steering the conversation back to yourself.

• Empathize: When expressing understanding or empathy, focus on the other person’s feelings or experiences. For instance, say “It must be challenging for you” instead of “I understand how you feel.”

• Share Experiences Tactfully: If you need to share your experiences, do so in a way that is relevant and adds value to the conversation. Avoid dominating the discussion with personal anecdotes.

• Use “We” or “You” Instead: Instead of saying “I think we should,” consider using “Maybe we could” or “Have you considered?” This shifts the focus from your perspective to a collaborative or the other person’s viewpoint.

• Be Mindful of Tone: Pay attention to your tone to avoid sounding self-centered. Be open and inclusive in your language.

While it’s natural to use “I” at times, be conscious of overusing it. Balance your statements with a mix of inclusive language. It’ll help keep you from sounding like a jerk.

Remember, the goal is to foster a more collaborative and open conversation where both parties feel heard and valued.

How to Develop Your Leadership Skills

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I talk to a lot of people who say they want to become leaders. Most of them don’t actually even know what that means. What many of them really want is a leadership position. They want the so called “perks” of leadership which of course frequently includes higher pay. They believe leadership is about them.

Authentic Leadership is about helping other people, often ordinary people, achieve extraordinary results. It’s about sometimes sacrificing what you want for the benefit of others. It’s about putting your own ego on the back burner so that the people you lead receive the recognition they need and deserve. Authentic Leadership is about truly, genuinely, and sincerely caring deeply for others.

Authentic Leaders don’t grow more followers. They don’t worry about building bigger departments. They don’t worry about more impressive titles or corner offices. They care about helping their people be successful, in their careers and in their lives.

Most of the people who say they want to become leaders fail to realize that they already have the opportunity to lead. They can and should be leading themselves every single day. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to lead other people if we can’t lead ourselves. Most everything that would one day make them an Authentic Leader they can “practice” with themselves.

If you are sincere in your desire to become an Authentic Leader, and not a leader in title only, then here’s some things you’ll need to know.

Developing oneself into a leader is a continuous and intentional process. A process that involves personal growth, skill development, and a commitment to leading others effectively. Here are some of the initial steps you’ll want to take on your journey to Authentic Leadership.

• Self-awareness: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Reflect on your experiences and identify areas for improvement. Self-awareness is the foundation for leadership development so you better be brutally honest with yourself here. If you’re not then your ability to lead others will likely be dead on arrival.

• Set clear goals: Define your long-term and short-term goals. This will give you a sense of direction and purpose. Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable tasks to make progress more manageable. Goals are the stuff success is made of and that’s as true in leadership as in any other part of life.

• Continuous learning: Commit to lifelong learning. Stay informed about industry trends, leadership theories, and new technologies. Attend workshops, seminars, and conferences to expand your knowledge. The day you know all you need to know about leadership is the last day you’ll truly be leading.

• Build strong communication skills: Effective leaders are good communicators. Work on your verbal and written communication skills. Learn to express your ideas clearly and listen actively to others. Communication is absolutely beyond crucial for building trust and collaboration. I just can’t say enough about the need for excellent communication skills when it comes to leadership.

• Develop emotional intelligence: Understand and manage your emotions while being empathetic towards others. Emotional intelligence helps in building positive relationships, resolving conflicts, and motivating team members. A high EQ will help you developing an understanding of the people you lead. It’s that understanding that will help you build your heart into the caring heart of an Authentic Leader.

• Take on leadership roles: Seek opportunities to lead others, even in small ways. This could involve volunteering for projects, leading team meetings, or taking on mentorship roles. Practical experience is invaluable for leadership development.

• Build a strong network: Connect with professionals in your industry and beyond. Networking provides opportunities for mentorship, collaboration, and exposure to different perspectives. Build relationships with people who can support your leadership journey.

• Adaptability: Develop the ability to adapt to change. In today’s dynamic work environment, leaders need to be flexible and open to new ideas. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

• Decision-making skills: Hone your decision-making abilities. Leaders often face tough choices, and the ability to make informed decisions is crucial. Consider the potential outcomes. Consult with others when necessary. Take responsibility for your decisions.

• Lead by example: Demonstrate the qualities you expect from others. Be ethical, reliable, and accountable. Leaders must lead by example to inspire trust and loyalty from their team. And remember, loyalty is a two-way street. If you want people to be loyal, YOU must be loyal first.

• Seek feedback: Solicit feedback from peers, mentors, and team members. Constructive feedback provides valuable insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Authentic Leaders are not afraid to seek that feedback even when they think it’s not going to be what they want to hear. They use that feedback as a tool for continuous improvement.

• Stay resilient: Leadership comes with challenges and setbacks. Cultivate resilience to bounce back from failures and learn from them. A resilient leader remains focused on long-term goals despite short-term obstacles. As “they” say, “if leadership was easy, everybody would be doing it.”

Authentic Leadership development is a lifelong journey, and there is always room for improvement. Be proactive, embrace challenges, and continually seek ways to enhance your leadership skills. When you do, you’ll discover the rich rewards of making a long-term impact on the lives of the people you serve as a leader.

That’s worth way more than the “perks” mere leader wannabes will ever get.

Why Details Matter

Steve Keating 3 Comments

When I was a whole bunch younger I jumped out of a perfectly functioning airplane. It wasn’t exactly by choice, I went to a military school and it was just part of the deal. When they said jump you jumped. But I did learn this little known fact: you do not need a parachute to jump out of an airplane. You can just pop the door open and jump. In fact, it’s actually quicker to get to the ground without a parachute.

There is however one little detail to keep in mind. If you have any intention of jumping out of an airplane a second time, a parachute is highly recommended. If you miss that little detail the outcome of your first jump will be less than ideal. But again, the jump itself is absolutely doable without a chute.

Details matter. They matter in every area of our lives. Details are often the difference between a successful outcome and an unsuccessful one. Here are a few of the reasons that little details can be such a big deal.

• Accuracy: Paying attention to details ensures accuracy in information, communication, and execution. It helps avoid errors and misunderstandings, leading to better outcomes in almost all situations.

• Clarity: Details provide clarity and context to any situation. They help in understanding the intricacies and nuances of a topic, making it easier for others to comprehend your message or actions.

• Problem-solving: In problem-solving, attention to details is crucial. It allows you to identify the root causes of issues and address them effectively. Ignoring details may result in superficial solutions that fail to solve the underlying problems.

• Decision-making: In decision-making processes, details help in evaluating options and predicting potential outcomes. Making informed decisions requires a thorough understanding of the details surrounding a situation.

• Professionalism: Attention to detail is often associated with professionalism. Whether it’s in the workplace, academia, or personal life, being meticulous in your work demonstrates a commitment to quality and excellence.

• Prevention of Mistakes: Small details can sometimes have a significant impact. By paying attention to details, you can catch potential mistakes before they escalate into bigger issues.

• Efficiency: Having a grasp of details allows for more efficient and effective work. It minimizes the need for rework or corrections, saving time and resources.

• Communication: Clear and detailed communication is essential for conveying ideas accurately. Details help in avoiding misinterpretations and ensure that the message is conveyed as intended.

• Building Trust: Consistently paying attention to details builds trust with others. Whether it’s in personal relationships or professional collaborations, people tend to trust individuals who demonstrate a commitment to precision.

Details always make a difference. Sometimes the difference is small, sometimes it’s huge. Paying attention to the little things gives people confidence that you’ll pay attention to bigger things too. Skipping over details has a negative impact on your credibility. Both in your personal life and your career. When the details fall through the cracks it’s very likely your overall success in life will fall through the cracks too.

Pay attention to the little things and big things will likely come your way.

How to Be More Realistic

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every person, who, when confronted with their negativity, claimed they weren’t being negative, they were just being realistic. Actually I wouldn’t mind having a buck or two for every time I said that too. The truth is when we’re constantly pointing out the negative in most every situation we’re probably being negative. That’s unhelpful to everyone involved in the situation, especially ourselves.

But the other side of the coin can be just as bad. Being overly optimistic can cause us to make too risky decisions. Things don’t just “work out best” because we believe they will. Thinks work out best for those who are best at working things out.

That requires a completely realistic view of the potential pluses and minuses of a given situation. Remaining realistic in all situations is a skill that can be developed. It typically involves developing a mindset and approach that aligns with the actual circumstances and probabilities of a situation. If you’re interested in truly becoming more realistic here are some ideas that can help.

• Objective Assessment: Evaluate situations objectively without letting emotions cloud your judgment. Consider facts and evidence rather than relying on personal feelings. This is where the old adage, “sleep on it” comes in handy. Things often look very different in the morning than they did the night before.

• Acceptance of Reality: Acknowledge and accept the current reality, even if it’s not ideal. Avoid wishful thinking or denying the truth to create a more accurate understanding of your circumstances.

• Critical Thinking: Engage in critical thinking by questioning assumptions and considering different perspectives. This helps in forming a more well-rounded and realistic view of situations. Don’t automatically assume that everything you think is true actually is.

• Goal Setting: Set achievable and realistic goals. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps.

• Learn from Experience: Reflect on past experiences and learn from them. Analyze both successes and failures to gain insights into what worked and what didn’t. Use this knowledge to make informed decisions.

• Consider Probabilities: When assessing future outcomes, consider the probabilities involved. Avoid overestimating positive outcomes or underestimating potential challenges.

• Balance Optimism with Realism: While optimism is valuable, it’s important to balance it with realism. Strive for a positive outlook without losing sight of the practical aspects of a situation.

• Seek Feedback: Gather feedback from others to gain different perspectives and insights. This external input can help you see things from a more realistic standpoint. And make sure that feedback you seek isn’t coming from only people who agree with you. You’ll often learn more from people who you disagree with than you will from people already aligned with your beliefs.

• Stay Informed: Stay informed about the facts and relevant information related to your areas of interest. Being well-informed contributes to a more realistic understanding of the world around you. Be careful with your sources of information too, this may come as a surprise but social media isn’t always the most accurate source for information.

• Flexibility: Be open to adjusting your plans and expectations based on new information or changing circumstances. Flexibility is key to adapting to reality. Remember, if you can’t change your mind, you can’t change anything.

Don’t forget, being realistic doesn’t mean being negative or pessimistic. It’s about approaching situations with a clear understanding of what is likely to happen and making decisions based on that understanding. Better decisions lead directly to a better life, and that’s about as real as it gets.

How to Keep Your Team Engaged

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I’ve asked many a business owner or CEO who their most “expensive” employee is. They typically say it is themselves or whoever the highest paid employee is. But that is often not true. An organization’s most expensive employee is their least engaged employee. Their least engaged employee may not be just disengaged, they may be actively disengaged. That means they are acting in a way that’s likely to cause other employees to disengage too.

Those actively disengaged employees are by far your most expensive employees. They not only offer little in the way of productivity, they hinder the productivity and performance of others as well.

No business can afford disengaged employees. Yet many do little or nothing to ensure their people remain engaged throughout their employment. They will sometimes conduct an exit interview to determine why someone decided to quit. The information they obtain however, for a variety of reasons, is unlikely to drive any kind of meaningful change in the company.

While they know turnover is a problem it’s apparently not a big enough problem to address it.

Until it’s too big to solve successfully.

Keeping employees engaged is crucial for maintaining a positive work environment. It’s vital for fostering productivity and reducing turnover. Here are several strategies you can implement today to keep your employees committed and engaged.

• Effective Communication:

• Regularly communicate with your team. Share updates on company goals, achievements, and challenges.

• Encourage open and transparent communication. Create a culture where employees feel comfortable sharing their ideas and concerns.

• Set Clear Expectations:

• Clearly define roles, responsibilities, and expectations. When employees know what is expected of them, they are more likely to stay engaged and motivated.

• Provide Opportunities for Growth:

• Offer professional development opportunities, such as training programs, workshops, and conferences. This not only enhances their skills but also shows that you invest in their future.

• Recognition and Rewards:

• Acknowledge and reward employees for their hard work and achievements. Recognition can be both formal (awards, promotions) and informal (public praise, thank-you notes).

• Flexible Work Arrangements:

• Allow flexibility in work hours or remote work when possible. This can improve work-life balance and contribute to employee satisfaction.

• Employee Involvement in Decision-Making:

• Involve employees in decision-making processes, especially when decisions impact their work. This gives them a sense of ownership and importance within the organization.

• Team Building Activities:

• Organize team-building activities or social events. This helps build a positive team culture and strengthens relationships among team members.

• Provide a Positive Work Environment:

• Create a comfortable and pleasant workspace. Consider factors such as lighting, office layout, and amenities to contribute to a positive work environment.

• Encourage Innovation and Creativity:

• Foster a culture that encourages employees to share their ideas and be creative. This can lead to innovative solutions and a sense of fulfillment.

• Regular Feedback:

• Provide constructive feedback regularly. This helps employees understand their strengths and areas for improvement, promoting personal and professional growth.

• Employee Wellness Programs:

• Support employee well-being by offering wellness programs. This can include health initiatives, fitness programs, or mental health support.

• Promote Work-Life Balance:

• Encourage a healthy work-life balance. Avoid overloading employees with excessive work, and respect their time outside of the office.

• Fair Compensation and Benefits:

• Ensure that salaries and benefits are competitive within the industry. Feeling fairly compensated contributes to employee satisfaction and engagement.

• Leadership Development:

• Invest in leadership development programs. Effective leadership fosters a positive work environment and sets the tone for employee engagement.

• Regular Check-ins:

• Conduct regular one-on-one meetings with employees to discuss their progress, address concerns, and provide support.

By combining these strategies and tailoring them to the specific needs of your organization, you can create an environment that promotes employee engagement, satisfaction and loyalty. Regularly reassess and adjust your approach based on feedback and changing circumstances within the company.

Do not assume that because an employee, even a great employee, was engaged last week that they are still engaged today.

How to Develop More Discipline in Your Life

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I had a conversation with a friend a while back and he said that once you have discipline in your life everything is easy. I only wish that were true. That reality is that doing hard things is hard. Discipline allows you to do them anyway. It doesn’t make them easy.

My definition of discipline is wanting something more in the future than the something that you want today. For example, having the discipline required to lose weight means you want to weigh less in the future more than you want that handful of chocolate covered raisins today. Said another way, discipline means you’re willing to give up something today so you can have something better tomorrow.

You can have more discipline in your life when you realize that discipline is a developable skill. Developing that skill is a gradual process that involves making consistent changes to your mindset, habits, and routines. Here’s how to get started.

Set Clear Goals. Discipline rises and on goals. Until you know what you want in the future you’ll have no reason to work towards it today. So begin by defining your short-term and long-term goals. You’ll need to be as specific as possible here. You should have goals in multiple areas of your life. That balance will allow you to keep moving forward when setbacks and obstacles try to knock you off track. It’s knowing what you want to achieve that provides a sense of direction and purpose. Purpose makes up the core of your discipline.

Prioritize Tasks. Instead of doing the easiest things first create a prioritized task list based on their importance and deadlines. Focus on high-priority items first. As you develop discipline it will be less likely that you look down your list and pick a lower priority task to do first. You’ll need to do everything possible to stick to your prioritized task list for at least 30 days. It’s at that point that your newfound discipline can take over.

Create a Routine. Establish a daily routine that includes dedicated time for work, rest, and personal activities. Consistency in your schedule helps develop discipline. Do NOT over schedule your calendar. “Stuff” as they say, happens. There is nothing wrong with having a gap in your calendar here and there to handle that stuff. If you completely fill your calendar everyday then when the inevitable “stuff” happens your routine is shot to hell and likely, your discipline is shot with it.

Eliminate Distractions. Identify and minimize distractions in your environment. “Distractions” may well include co-workers who lack discipline. You may need to politely decline their hallway conversations or gossip sessions. They might be using you as an excuse to procrastinate and few things can impact your personal discipline like allowing someone else’s procrastination to become your problem.

Time Management. You can’t really manage time, you get 1440 minutes a day to use as effectively as you can. So learn to manage the “events” of your day that use up that time. Set deadlines for tasks and allocate specific time blocks for different activities/events. Do not confuse “busy work” for true productivity. If an event did not contribute toward getting you closer to one of your goals or objectives then you might have been busy but it’s unlikely you were productive.

Build Habits. The most successful people know that not all habits are bad. In fact, many could be considered positive habits. Identify the positive habits in your life. To be a positive habit they need to align with your goals. Consistently practicing these habits helps automate positive behaviors and build unshakable discipline.

There are certainly other areas of focus that can help you further develop discipline in your life but these are a good place to start. Building discipline is a gradual process, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your durable discipline won’t be either. Consistency and perseverance are key components of developing lasting discipline in life.

Stay the course because your future self will be mighty glad you did.

How to Stop Procrastinating…NOW

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the least productive things we can do is to do something tomorrow that we should have done today. Some people call that procrastinating. I call it a waste. Not only did we likely waste time yesterday when we should have been doing what we finally did today, but we’re very possibly not doing what we should have been doing today because of it.

Procrastinating is one of life’s great stress creators. When we put off tasks that we should be doing it gnaws at us. It frequently steals our joy. It buries our confidence under stress and worry. The most successful people seldom procrastinate, no matter how challenging the task at hand. They just do it!

Overcoming procrastination is a common challenge. Eliminating procrastination from your life will often involve a combination of psychological and practical strategies. If you’re interested in greatly improving your productivity by pushing procrastination out of your life then here are a few ideas you may want to consider…immediately.

Understand the Reasons

• Identify why you are procrastinating. Is it due to fear of failure, lack of motivation, or feeling overwhelmed? Understanding the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.

Set Clear Goals

• Break down your tasks into smaller, more manageable goals. Clear and specific objectives make it easier to focus and take action. The more specific the better because if you allow yourself any “wriggle room” you’re almost certain to use it.

Prioritize Tasks

• Determine the urgency and importance of each task. Focus on high-priority items first to ensure you’re making progress on essential activities. If you’re currently using a “to-do” list burn it now. Destroy it before it destroys any more of your productivity. Turn it into a Prioritized Daily Task List. When you develop the discipline to do the most important tasks first, then procrastination will no longer be a part of your life.

Break Large Tasks into Smaller Steps

• Large projects can be overwhelming. Break them into smaller, more manageable steps, and focus on completing one step at a time.

Create a Schedule

• Develop a daily or weekly schedule to allocate specific time slots for your tasks. Set realistic deadlines and stick to them as closely as possible. Make a decision that YOU will be the person who controls your calendar, not other people, not circumstances or uncontrollable events. YOU and you alone.

Use Time Management Techniques

• Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique (working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between) can help maintain your focus and increase productivity.

Remove Distractions

• Identify and eliminate distractions from your workspace. Turn off notifications, close unnecessary tabs, and create an environment conducive to concentration. It is possible you may need to do the unthinkable and leave your phone in a different room. Or use the nuclear option and actually turn it off.

Visualize Success

• Imagine the positive outcomes and the sense of accomplishment you’ll experience upon completing a task. Visualization can motivate you to get started. Remember, it’s impossible to finish what you’ve haven’t started but once you start, nothing is impossible.

Reward Yourself

• Establish a system of rewards for completing tasks. This can create positive reinforcement and make the process more enjoyable.

Accountability Partners

• Share your goals with someone who can help hold you accountable. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, having someone check in on your progress can be motivating.

Address Perfectionism

• Understand that perfection is not always attainable, and waiting for the perfect conditions can lead to procrastination. Embrace a mindset of progress over perfection.

Develop a Routine

• Establishing a routine can help train your brain to expect certain activities at specific times, making it easier to overcome procrastination. You’ll need to use your routine for 30 days to make it a habit but once you do you’ll discover just how useful some habits can be.

Overcoming procrastination is an ongoing process. It’s normal to face setbacks. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Sometimes progress will be big, sometimes it will be small, but the most successful people will tell you that all progress is progress. And if you’re making progress everyday then you’re way ahead of most people.