Category Motivation

The Trap of Lazy Communication

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There are a lot of ways a leader, people in general actually, can cause communication to go sideways. Perhaps the biggest is simply not communicating often enough. Assuming people know what you’re thinking and therefore you don’t need to communicate much, is often the fatal flaw of what could have been a successful leadership tenure.

Another huge mistake is assuming that simply because they delivered a message it was received. Believing that what you said is the same as what other people heard has caused more problems then we could ever list here. World War One was basically started over a miscommunication. If you have ever been part of a conversation where the other person said “well you said this” and you responded with a “no, I didn’t say that” then you have been involved in a miscommunication.

Still another mistake is thinking that effective communication is a 50-50 proposition. If you do your part to talk and listen well and the other person does their part to do the same then you’ll always have successful communication. But let’s look at that another way, each of you giving 50% effort will result in crystal clear communication? Really? 

The most successful communications happen when both parties accept 100% responsibility for the success of the communication process. Both parties choose their words to help the other person understand exactly what they are trying to say. If one side of the communication is trying to use “big” words to sound more impressive then they are limiting the success of the communication. I’d rather be thought of as a simpleton who communicates very well than a genius who can’t get their point across. 

Both sides of a communication must listen intently, lingering on the words of the speaker until they are 100% certain they understand the message they were intended to convey. If not, it is the listener’s responsibility to ask for clarification. But…it is also the speaker’s responsibility to ask the listener if they “got it” before continuing the conversation. That’s the 100-100 proposition of effective communication. 

These “rules for clarity” also apply to written communication. Don’t assume because you wrote something with one meaning in mind that your reader will interpret it in the same way. Remember, readers can’t see your body language. They can’t hear your tone of voice and they have no idea how hard your hitting those keys on your keyboard. 

Here’s a pretty darn good rule for effective written communication. NEVER send a text or email while you’re angry. One night’s sleep can make for a much more measured response and a response that you’re much less likely to regret. 

So here’s the thing about this entire post. I’d be shocked if there is anything in this post you don’t already know. That’s the case with most of my posts. The question is, as always, are you using what you know? Do you often skip some, or most, of those “rules for clarity?” Do you assign 50% of the responsibility for successful communication to someone else? Are you assuming that because you said it “they” heard it? 

It’s easy to get lazy in our communication with other people. That laziness often puts us in a hole that can be hard to get out of. Don’t dig yourself a hole. Think a few seconds before you say it or write it. Listen to it with the other person’s ears. Read it with their eyes. Put yourself in their shoes and ask how you would reply if someone said that to you. AND BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT THAT! 

Effective communication is the heart of successful relationships. Be they business oriented or very personal in nature, the best communicators have the best relationships. Always been that way and I suspect it always will be that way. 

Think about it. 

Want more of LeadToday? I’m changing things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. On March 2nd I began publishing two videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $5 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 

If you’re interested in taking a look head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 🙂

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

Don’t be a Bully

Steve Keating 13 Comments

So…this is one of those posts that Social Media experts would tell me not to write. They tell me to “stay in my lane” which means I should stick to writing about Leadership and occasionally Sales. I’m certainly not supposed to write about personal stuff. But I started this blog to say what I want to say so here we go. 

This is a post about bullies and Down Syndrome. 

I’ve done a bunch of quick research on the subject of bullying and I don’t like what I’ve found. Bullies start young and if they are not taught the error of their ways early, they carry their bullying ways into adulthood. Sadly, many don’t learn the error of their ways early.

Kids bully other kids who don’t fit in. Bullied kids can be different in many ways. Surprisingly, at least to me, very talented kids are frequently bullied. Kids with few friends and kids with unique physical characteristics get bullied too. Kids of different races from the majority can be bullied and kids with religious and cultural differences are often bullied. 

Illness and perceived disabilities cause bullying too and that is often some of the worst bullying. And that’s what motivates me to write this post.

I’ve always known bullying happened and I’ve always known it was wrong. I’ve stepped in on occasion to stop bullying when I could but then I went about my day. Now I wish I’d have done more. I wish I’d done more because Daisy Jaymes has made everything different. 

Daisy Jaymes is a very special 18 month old girl who happens to be our granddaughter. She is a bright eyed inquisitive kid. She’s also an escape artist who refuses to be slowed down or told that everything within reach is not a toy. She has an incredible smile and at only 18 months her amazing personality is already on display. Daisy also has one another thing most kids don’t have, she has an extra copy of Chromosome 21. That makes her special in sooooo many ways. It also results in Down Syndrome. 

The list of potential challenges for kids with DS is long. We’ve nearly lost Daisy a couple of times in her first year but now she’s doing great. She appears to have been spared, at least for now, many of those potential challenges. But the one thing I often worry about is not on the list. 

As our precious Daisy Jaymes continues to grow and gets old enough for school I worry about her being bullied because she is isn’t a typical kid. She may be smarter than other kids, she may excel in areas where other kids are average but she will most definitely have some challenges to overcome. She will look different and she may talk a little different than most kids. 

That doesn’t make her or other kids with special needs any less of a human being. They aren’t stupid. They aren’t contagious. They aren’t anything except a kid with some different circumstances than other kids. Like all kids. Thinking that kids with DS are less than other kids, in any way, is a form of bullying and it might be the worst bullying of all.

So in this, National Down Syndrome Awareness Month take a few minutes to learn about the amazing people, kids and adults alike, who God has blessed with an extra copy of a chromosome. That extra copy makes them extra special but worthy of being treated only like every other person. Which is all they really want. 

Learn to Earn

Steve Keating 1 Comment

I’ve frequently said that one of my greatest strengths is that I’m pretty much average in almost every way. Almost. There are a couple of things I do that most people simply don’t do. They could, they just don’t. That’s why I can often exceed the expectations of others despite my being average.

One of those things is that I’m up hours before other people. I am also fortunate to be able to read quickly while retaining most of what I read. I write almost as quick as I read, a blog post like this takes maybe 15 minutes to write. Those things combine to help me do the one thing that has helped me succeed more than any other, they help me to always always always be learning. I give myself time, very early in the day, that other people choose to not give themselves. I use much of that time to learn. 

By 6:00am I’ve read two or 3 newspapers, perhaps listened to a podcast, watched a TedTalk or read a magazine or two. I’ll look at what the overseas stock markets are doing so I’ll know whether or not it’s a good idea to peek at my 401k that day or not. Plus it’s in that timeframe that I write this blog two days a week and make my Principles of Leadership Videos for Twitter. 

All this before most people are even thinking about getting themselves out of bed. That allows me to accomplish more than my average cohorts even if I’m below average the rest of the day. 

So I don’t cut people much slack when they tell me they don’t have time to do this or that. I know for a fact that what they are lacking is not time, it’s priorities. 

Most people quit learning at 18 or 22. They may pick up some extra skills on the job, they may learn some stuff through osmosis but the vast vast majority of people stop their formal education the last day they walk out of school. 

You cannot reach your full potential without constantly learning. Knowledge compounds over time. The more you learn the more you will learn in the future. The more you learn the better your choices will be. Better choices lead to better outcomes and far fewer negative consequences. 

Better outcomes and fewer negative consequences lead to higher incomes and lower expenses. Success boils down to what you know and how you use what you know. 

It makes little difference how far you got in school, you can and should still be learning. You need to fire up those study habits from whatever grade you finished and start studying again. Make time to study. Make time to learn. Make time to earn. Make time to succeed…in every area of your life. 

I run into a whole lot of people who are smarter than me. But they don’t know as much as I do. I see many people who have the potential to far surpass any of my accomplishments but I know they are very unlikely to. They are comfortable with what they know. They may not know it all but they are very confident that they know enough. 

Truth be told not knowing something causes very few problems when compared to “knowing” something that just isn’t so. Consistent learners are always challenging what they “know” to see if it is in fact accurate. 

People who keep learning keep rising. Average people who keep learning and using what they learn will consistently outperform above average people who have stopped learning. 

Somebody much smarter than me, I don’t recall who but there’s this thing called Google where you can look it up, once said, “if you’re willing to learn no one can stop you. If you’re not willing to learn no one can help you.” 

I’ve already learned some stuff today but it’s still early, I’m sure I’ll be learning more before the day is done. Will you join me? Not only today but tomorrow and the next day too. You’ll be surprised how much you still have to learn once you commit yourself to learning everyday. But other people will be even more surprised and that’s what makes learning so much fun. 

Want more of LeadToday? I’m changing things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I have started publishing two videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $5 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 

If you’re interested in taking a look head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 🙂

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

The Courage to Speak Up

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Very early in my sales career I worked for a company with an interesting philosophy on motivating salespeople. I hadn’t work there very long and I was the newest member of the sales team. We were behind the planned sales goal about halfway through the year. During a sales meeting the General Sales manager announced an “incentive” plan to help motivate the sales team to higher performance. The “incentive” would work like this: if after 30 days we were still behind plan one salesperson would be fired. If after 60 days we will still behind plan 2 sales people would be fired. And on it would go each month until we were either back on plan or there were no salespeople left to fire. 

It was never explained how it would be determined who was going to be fired but I figured I was a pretty strong candidate to get the first axe. 30 days flew by before we knew it. We were still well behind the plan. I came into work that morning expecting it to be a very short day. 

The sales team was gathered in the meeting room waiting, and waiting, for the management team to enter the room. Finally the General Sales Manager’s boss showed up. He announced that no one would be fired…except the General Sales Manager. 

That sure did lighten the mood in the room. 

But it didn’t change the fact that we were working for a somewhat tyrannical company. The big boss was no piece of cake to work for either. As we entered December the company announced a new compensation structure for the sales team. During the busy parts of the year the sales team would be paid a base plus commission. During the slow parts of the year the sales team would be paid only a commission. 

That would have been financial death to many of the salespeople on the team. So a meeting was arranged with Senior Management to discuss this plan. Somehow, to this day I do not understand how, I was elected to be the spokesperson for the sales team.

We met with the management team and they laid out their thinking on the change in the compensation structure. The head guy was very intimidating to most of the team but I was too stupid to realize I should be intimidated. So when the opportunity presented itself to speak up I laid out the concerns of the sales team. 

Senior Management said they had not considered our “cash flow” concerns and asked if we would prefer to stay with the status quo. There were literally shouts of yes and hell yes from the room. Senior Management kind of shrugged and said okay then, we’ll leave well enough alone. 

The next morning I was a hero to the sales team for having the courage to speak out against the big bosses ideas. Never for a moment did I consider that I was speaking “against” anyone. I was merely expressing, in as a professional manner as I could muster, our opinion that it would be very challenging for many of the sales team to pay their bills during the slow season. 

I wasn’t challenging a person, I was challenging the proposed process. I choose my words very very carefully so that it was clear that it was a process issue. Not an issue with the person proposing the process. 

It was a valuable lesson to me early in my career. When we stick to the facts it’s easier to find the courage to speak up. When we leave as much emotion as possible out of the conversation it becomes easier for the person we are speaking with to accept what we are saying. 

Many of the challenges we face in our lives can be traced back to poor or limited communication. When we speak in terms of the other person’s interests, with respect for their point of view, even the most difficult conversation becomes easier. 

Remember, the only way to get the best of an argument is not to argue. Choose your words so that no one involved in the conversation risks losing their self-esteem. 

It can require raw courage to approach tough conversations, especially with someone higher up within your organization. Sometimes you’ll need to forget they are higher up. Sometimes you’ll have to make certain you put your best communication skills to work. 

Either way, staying silent when something must be said will get you nowhere so speak up and you just might move up too.

Want more of LeadToday? I’m changing things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. On March 2nd I began publishing two videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $5 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 

If you’re interested in taking a look just head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 🙂

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

Turn, Turn, Turn

Steve Keating 1 Comment

There was a great song preformed by The Byrds. I think it was from the 1960’s or maybe the 70’s. It’s one of those songs that when you get the tune into your head it’s hard to get it out. If you pay attention to the lyrics they are hard to get out of your head too. That’s because the lyrics describe the seasons of our lives better than any song I’ve heard. 

The name of the song is Turn Turn Turn. Here are the lyrics:

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate

A time of war, a time of peace

A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose

A time to rend, a time to sew

A time for love, a time for hate

A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late….

Our lives really are divided into seasons. I think many people know that, the challenges start when we don’t live that way. 

Much of the stress in our lives is caused by trying to extend a season for longer than it was intended. Relationships begin and end. Some last a very long time and some are gone before we know it. That’s life. 

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than risk cutting yourself trying to put them back together. 

Careers are upended, often with little or no notice. I know an individual who lost his job early in the pandemic. He hasn’t worked since. He says he just can’t let go of what he had. He can’t begin anew because he is weighted down by a season that has passed. It’s time to turn, turn, turn but he insists on remaining in the past. 

As strange as it may sound the “advice” found in the lyrics of Turn Turn Turn is pretty sound. (Pardon the pun) Everything in life has a beginning and an end, when we remember that it makes the transition from one season to another a little easier. 

Let go what needs letting go of and realize that most everything will eventually need to be let go. When you do, you’ll live a happier and more productive life. 

Why Mentoring Programs Matter

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I must say, and I mean this sincerely, I am impressed with the knowledge that people newer to the workforce bring with them into their new careers. Even if it’s their first job they often bring more knowledge than workers who entered the work force 20 or 30 years ago. 

And they know it. What they don’t know is that knowledge and wisdom are two very different things. Schools and books are all about knowledge. Life is about wisdom. 

It has been said that along with age comes wisdom. I can assure you that is not always the case. Too frequently it seems that age shows up all by itself. 

But generally speaking you can gain wisdom in one of two ways. You can live a long while or you can ask someone who has to share their wisdom with you. For the purposes of our post we call that “sharing” mentoring. 

As baby boomers continue to age out of the workforce they also continue to take their wisdom with them. Many large companies have formal mentoring programs in place. They encourage their experienced employees to leave some of their wisdom behind. But some companies actually “dispose” of that wisdom. They “encourage” or even force their more experienced people, and their wisdom, out the door. 

It’s only a matter of time before those companies that devalue wisdom wise up and discover the costly mistake they have made. Some unfortunately are already figuring that out. But the horse as they say, has already left the corral. 

All organizations, large and small, will benefit from a formal mentoring program. Paring a mentor with incoming employees shortens the learning curve of the incoming employee. Having a mentor helps the new employee quickly apply their impressive amount of knowledge. That enables them to “earn their keep” much sooner. 

Being a mentor allows the mentor to “borrow” some of that knowledge from the new employee. Combining that new knowledge with their wisdom often reengages the mentor. It renews or increases their productivity. 

It’s a win, win, win. A win for the new employee, a win for the mentor and a big win for the company or organization. 

But there can be some potholes to look out for. Not everyone can be a mentor. Mentoring is serious stuff. If someone is not enthusiastic about mentoring then they should not be a mentor. Depending of the demographic makeup of the workforce in your particular organization that may mean mentors will be in short supply. 

You may need to allocate your mentors accordingly. Perhaps only to people who demonstrate a passion for learning and growth. Mentoring also requires a significant commitment of time, for the mentee for sure, but especially for the mentor. While they can likely mentor more than one person they can’t mentor so many that mentoring becomes a major focus of their job. They need to continue to do their job in order to maintain the credibility that is so vital to a mentor. As soon as someone says “well back when I was doing the job” they are no longer an effective mentor. They still have wisdom. They can still be a great life mentor. But their effectiveness as a career mentor within the organization has greatly diminished. 

When pairing a mentor with a mentee every pairing should be considered a trial run. They need to “click.” Not clicking doesn’t mean failure on the part of the mentee or the mentor. It’s just how life works sometimes. The mentor has to care enough about their mentee to invest a significant amount of time with them. The mentee has to trust their mentor enough to at least consider the advice they are being given. If after 30-60 days there is no “click” then it’s time to try another pairing. 

If your new to mentoring programs I’d recommend starting small. Ask a handful of experienced team members about their willingness to mentor. Don’t try to talk them into it. If they don’t care to mentor then they won’t care about their mentee and as a mentor, caring is essential. 

Select a few candidates to be mentored and ask them about their interest in having a mentor. Again, don’t force it on them. If they have no interest in learning from actual experience rather than just a book you may have learned all you need to know about that candidate’s future with you organization. 

Get started today. Don’t let even more wisdom walk out the door. One day you’ll look around and realize you have a bunch of really smart people in your company. You will also realize they don’t possess the wisdom required to put their knowledge to work. 

Repeating Success

Steve Keating 4 Comments

I do not cook. I warm. If my bride is gone for a couple of days I might starve if not for the microwave. Fortunately she not only does cook, she is a great cook. She try’s new recipes all the time. 

I tell her I love something new that she made and she says thanks but then adds, “I think next time I’ll tweak the recipe a bit. I am always confused by that. I just said I loved it the way it is. She says let’s change it. Whaaaaaat?

Lucky for me her improvements always seem to be actual improvements. In business and most other areas of life it doesn’t always work that way. Charlie Munger says that the fundamental algorithm of life is this…repeat what works. 

Many people over complicate success. The most successful people do not. Everything you do creates feedback. You need to listen to that feedback. Listening means when something works you do more of it. Often even a lot more. 

When something goes poorly you should do less of it. It could be you stop it completely. 

Of course for any of that to happen you have to pay attention. You need to pay attention to your results and what actions you took to achieve them. You also need to pay attention when things go wrong. What actions did you take, or not take, that may have caused that result. 

Most people don’t invest the time to analyze their actions. They don’t evaluate their own performance. Sometimes when they do they aren’t honest with themselves. They sugar coat their evaluation and cut themselves way more slack than they would cut other people. 

The good news is, you have no requirement to be most people. You can follow the fundamental algorithm of life. You only need to slow down enough to know what is truly working in your life, both personal and professional, and do more of that. 

You also need to be honest enough with yourself to know what you should stop doing. 

All that’s within your control. Successful people control the controllable. They also realize quickly that when they control the controllable the uncontrollable doesn’t matter all that much. 

Take control of your life today and success becomes a repeatable process. So, you up for it? 

Some of you know that I’ve been trying out something relatively new over on Twitter. It’s a subscription for video messages. The messages I post for subscribers are coaching videos. I post two each weekday, mostly on leadership but also sales and living a better life in general. I’m also way more available for questions from subscribers than I can be for the million plus regular Twitter followers. The investment to see these subscriber videos is $4.99 a month, that’s about 17 cents a day. The videos continue to grow in popularity so clearly a lot of people think they are worthwhile. 

Not only can you invest in yourself with solid video coaching, you can also make a difference in the world too. All the income from my subscribers on Twitter go to help kids with Down Syndrome. 

Just follow me on Twitter and then click the purple “subscribe” button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP or on a web browser. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and what topics you’d like to see me address.