There are so many challenges in life that have their origins tied to poor communication that it would be almost impossible to list them all. Wars have literally been started as the result of miscommunication. Relationships have ended and businesses destroyed by misunderstandings caused by poor communication skills.
If you only have the opportunity to develop one skill then 100% of the time I’d recommend that skill be communication. Absent effective communication you will also struggle to make a meaningful connection with other people. Every relationship you have will be stronger when you improve your communication skills.
Like all skills if you stop working to further develop your communication skills they begin to decline. So even if you believe yourself to be an excellent communicator today that’s no guarantee you’ll continue to be an effective communicator tomorrow… unless you continue to hone your skills.
Here are some key principles and tips to help you communicate more effectively.
Active Listening
• We can’t discuss communication without beginning with a look at listening. ALL successful communication begins with focused listening. Pay full attention to the speaker, listen as if at that moment they are the most important person in the world because in the moment they are speaking to you, they are.
• Never interrupt the person speaking with you and do not begin formulating your response until AFTER they have finished speaking. It’s okay to have a moment of silence while you contemplate your response. A thoughtful response is always better than a fast one.
• “Show” your listening skills through non-verbal cues like nodding and maintaining eye contact.
• Summarize or paraphrase what the speaker has said to ensure understanding.
Clarity and Conciseness
• Be clear and concise in your communication.
• Avoid unnecessary jargon or complicated language, especially if your audience may not be familiar with it. Don’t use a bigger word than necessary to get your message across. It’s far more important to be smart than to sound smart.
• Organize your thoughts and choose your words BEFORE speaking or writing to ensure a logical flow.
Body Language
• Non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture can convey a lot.
• Be aware of your own body language and try to interpret others’ cues accurately.
Empathy
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes to understand their perspective. Listen for common ground and try to avoid rejecting their message before they are even done presenting it.
• Acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree.
Feedback
• Provide constructive feedback when necessary, focusing on specific behaviors or actions rather than making personal attacks.
• Be open to receiving feedback and use it as an opportunity for growth. Never simply reject the feedback as wrong or destructive criticism. Remember, an open mind communicates more effectively than a closed mind in every instance.
Be Aware of Tone
• The tone of your voice or the tone conveyed in written communication can significantly impact the message. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask if you were them, how would you receive the message and change your tone if required.
• If the conversation is emotional in nature then adjust your tone to be as empathetic as possible. Remember, it’s your responsibility to make your message easy to hear and understand.
Choose the Right Medium
• Different situations may call for different communication mediums (e.g., face-to-face, email, phone, video call). Don’t “chicken out” and deliver bad news via text or email. Put your grown up pants on and either call the person or deliver the message face-to-face.
Ask Questions
• Seek clarification when needed by asking open-ended questions. This shows interest and helps ensure that you’ve understood the message correctly. If your goal is to truly be an effective communicator then you must accept responsibility for the clarity of both sides of the communication. You must be certain what you said was understood and you must make certain you understand what the other person said.
Remember that effective communication is a skill that can be developed over time. By incorporating these principles into your interactions, you can enhance your ability to communicate more effectively and build stronger connections with others. You’ll avoid misunderstandings, arguments and lost productivity.
Almost every part of your life will be better when you make the effort to communicate effectively. But as with all parts of life, the choice to do so is completely up to you.
One thing I’ve noticed in myself is that I tend to exhibit poor communication skills when I perceive the other person to be an energy drain. If they are constantly pulling energy from me, I tend to put up walls/boundaries and offer limited responses. In many cases, that person just doubles down in their pursuit of my energy. It’s a terrible cycle.
I have not yet mastered the art of effective communication with those who are addicted to repetition (“Like I said,”). I try reflecting back their message to show that I have received it; but, I sometimes think they just like to talk and nothing will deter them from achieving their word quota.
I tend to most appreciate those who are succinct, concise, and direct. I’m not patient at all with those who fill their conversation with useless words and phrases (“Do what we have to do,” “Out the door and gone,” “It is what it is,” “We’ll go from there,” etc).
I will certainly make myself available when someone needs to vent or otherwise just needs to talk. It helps when they ask if it’s okay. “Do you have time to talk?” Actually, I have to leave in three minutes. I need you to be succinct. We can make some time when I return, if you’d still like to talk more.
Sorry for the delay in response Steve,
I wanted to say Happy Holidays
I also really liked your article on Effective Communication . Your article was spot on .Effective Communication is the Gift every follower wants and deserves from their leader
Thanks John