Tag Communication for Success

How Listening Leads to Success

Steve Keating Leave a comment

We live in a world with constant noise—social media notifications, endless meetings, and the pressure to always have something to say—that makes it easy to overlook the quiet power of listening.

Yet, time and again, the most successful people across industries, from entrepreneurs to artists to leaders, credit one skill above others: the ability to truly listen. Listening isn’t just hearing words; it’s an active, intentional practice that unlocks opportunities, creates connections, and drives meaningful progress. Here’s why mastering the art of listening can pave your path to success.

1. Listening Builds Stronger Relationships

Success rarely happens in isolation. Whether you’re leading a team, negotiating a deal, or nurturing personal connections, relationships are the foundation of achievement. Active listening—paying full attention, asking thoughtful questions, and showing genuine interest—creates trust and respect.

When you listen to understand rather than to respond, people feel valued. A study from Harvard Business Review found that leaders who practice empathetic listening foster higher levels of loyalty and engagement in their teams. For example, a manager who listens to an employee’s concerns about workload doesn’t just solve a problem—they build a bond that inspires that employee to go the extra mile. Strong relationships, rooted in listening, open doors to collaboration, mentorship, and opportunities that propel you forward.

2. Listening Sparks Innovation

The best ideas often come from unexpected places, but you’ll miss them if you’re too busy talking. Listening to customers, colleagues, or even critics can uncover insights that fuel innovation. Take Steve Jobs, who famously listened to user feedback about clunky MP3 players in the early 2000s. That input, combined with his team’s creativity, led to the iPod—a product that revolutionized the music industry.

Listening doesn’t mean blindly following every suggestion. It means absorbing different perspectives, identifying patterns, and converting them into something new. Entrepreneurs who listen to their market’s pain points can create solutions that resonate. Artists who listen to their audience’s emotions can craft work that moves people. Success often comes from hearing what others might overlook.

3. Listening Sharpens Decision-Making

Decisions shape outcomes, and good decisions require good information. Listening—whether to data, expert advice, or the nuances of a conversation—gives you the clarity to choose wisely. A 2023 study by McKinsey found that executives who actively seek out and listen to diverse viewpoints make more effective strategic decisions, avoiding costly missteps.

Consider a scenario: a CEO is deciding whether to launch a new product. By listening to their team’s concerns about market readiness and customer feedback from early testing, they pivot to refine the product first. That choice, informed by listening, saves millions and builds a stronger launch. Listening helps you gather the full picture, reducing blind spots and boosting confidence in your choices.

4. Listening Cultivates Empathy

Empathy is a superpower in today’s world. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it starts with listening. Empathetic leaders, salespeople, and creators succeed because they connect on a human level. When you listen to someone’s story—whether it’s a client’s frustration or a friend’s dream—you gain insight into what drives them. That understanding allows you to tailor your approach, whether you’re closing a sale or inspiring a team.

Oprah Winfrey, one of the most successful media moguls, often credits her listening skills for her ability to connect with millions. By listening deeply to her guests and audience, she created a platform that resonated globally. Empathy through listening builds loyalty and influence, key ingredients for lasting success.

5. Listening Fuels Personal Growth

Success isn’t just about external achievements; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. Listening—to mentors, critics, or even your own intuition—drives personal growth. Feedback, even when it stings, is a gift if you’re willing to hear it. A 2024 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology showed that individuals who actively seek and listen to constructive feedback are more likely to improve their performance over time.

Listening also means being present with yourself. Taking time to reflect on your experiences, values, and goals helps you align your actions with your vision of success. Meditation, journaling, or simply sitting in silence can be forms of listening to your inner voice, guiding you toward better choices.

How to Become a Better Listener

Listening is a skill you can hone. Here are practical steps to make it second nature:

Be Present: Put away distractions. Silence your phone, maintain eye contact, and focus fully on the speaker.

Ask Questions: Show curiosity by asking open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more?” or “What do you mean by that?”

Pause Before Responding: Take a moment to process what you’ve heard before jumping in. This shows respect and helps you respond thoughtfully.

Practice Empathy: Try to understand the speaker’s emotions, not just their words. Reflect back what you hear: “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because…”

Seek Feedback: Ask trusted peers or mentors how you can improve your listening skills. Then, listen to their advice.

The Ripple Effect of Listening

Listening isn’t a passive act—it’s a catalyst. It transforms conversations, relationships, and outcomes. When you listen, you signal to others that their ideas matter, which inspires them to share more. You gain insights that spark creativity, make smarter decisions, and grow as a person. From boardrooms to creative studios to personal relationships, the ability to listen sets you apart in a world that is often too loud to hear.

Success isn’t about having the loudest voice; it’s about having the sharpest ears. Start listening today, and watch how it opens doors you never knew existed.

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Why BUT is a Word Best Unused

Steve Keating 1 Comment

I have written fairly often on the importance of words. Words matter and most of us could be a little more thoughtful when choosing the words that we use. Our words shape how we think, feel, and connect with others. Words carry weight, subtly influencing conversations and relationships. One word that often sneaks into our sentences, quietly undermining our intentions, is “but.” It’s a small word, just three letters, yet it has a big impact. I believe we should rethink its use—not because it’s inherently bad, but because it often creates barriers where we could build bridges instead.

Let’s start with what “but” does. It’s a conjunction, a pivot point in a sentence. When we say, “I love you, but…” or “That’s a great idea, but…,” everything before the “but” gets overshadowed and frequently forgotten. The listener braces for the negative, and the positive sentiment feels like a setup rather than a standalone truth. Imagine someone saying, “You did a fantastic job on this project, but there’s room for improvement.” The praise evaporates, and the critique takes center stage. Without “but,” the same message could stand as two clear statements: “You did a fantastic job on this project. There’s room for improvement.” Both parts survive, neither diminished.

This isn’t just semantics—it’s psychology. Studies show that people tend to focus on what follows “but” because it signals contrast or contradiction. The brain latches onto the exception, not the rule. When we use “but,” we unintentionally train others to expect disappointment or dismissal, even if that’s not our goal. Over time, this erodes trust. Think about a friend who always softens criticism with a compliment: “You’re so smart, but you’re too quiet.” Eventually, you stop hearing the compliment and start waiting for the sting.

Now, I’m not suggesting we ban “but” entirely. It has its place in logic and debate, where contrasting ideas need a clear marker. “The sky is blue, but it turns orange at sunset” works because it’s a factual shift, not a loaded judgment. The trouble comes in emotional or relational contexts, where “but” feels like a rejection pretending to be balanced. We use it to soften blows or hedge our bets, but it often backfires, leaving the other person defensive or deflated.

So, what’s the alternative? Words like “and” or “also” can transform a sentence. “I appreciate your effort, and we can tweak a few things” keeps the tone collaborative. It’s not about sugarcoating—it’s about clarity. Separating ideas into distinct sentences works too: “I value your input. Let’s adjust the timeline.” These shifts preserve the integrity of both thoughts without pitting them against each other. It’s a small change with a big ripple effect, fostering openness instead of opposition.

Critics might argue that avoiding “but” makes us less direct, even wishy-washy. I get that. Straight talk matters, especially when stakes are high. Yet directness doesn’t require “but” as a crutch. “This plan won’t work because it’s underfunded” is sharper and cleaner than “This plan is solid, but it’s underfunded.” The former owns the critique; the latter muddies it with faint praise. Dropping “but” forces us to say what we mean without hiding behind qualifiers.

In relationships, the stakes are even higher. “I’m sorry, but you upset me first” doesn’t heal—it deflects. Replace it with “I’m sorry. I felt upset by what happened,” and the apology stands taller, inviting real dialogue. Over time, cutting “but” trains us to own our words and listen better. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present.

Language evolves with intent. If we want connection over conflict, we can start by rethinking “but.” It’s not the villain of vocabulary, just a habit we’ve leaned on too long. Swap it out, try different alternatives, and watch how conversations shift. We might find we don’t need it as much as we thought—and that’s a win worth going after.

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Becoming a More Persuasive Communicator

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There is a basic fact that people who actually like arguing fail to grasp. That fact is that a person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still.

That’s why it is nearly impossible to truly “win” an argument. People may give up the fight by agreeing with you, or perhaps attempt to stop the argument by simply agreeing to disagree. But it’s very likely that the “winner” of the argument has done nothing to actually change the “losers” thinking.

The only way to change another person’s opinion is through persuasion. They must fully believe what you’re saying if they are to replace their thinking with yours. But like all things worth doing, persuading others towards your thinking is easier said than done.

Becoming a more persuasive communicator involves mastering techniques that help you influence others effectively while at the same time building trust and respect.

Here’s a handful of ideas to help you improve your persuasive communication skills.

1. Understand Your Audience

Know their needs: Understand the values, concerns, and priorities of the person or group you’re addressing.

Empathize: Put yourself in their shoes to connect emotionally and demonstrate genuine understanding.

2. Build Credibility

Demonstrate expertise: Show that you are knowledgeable and credible on the topic.

Be trustworthy: Be honest, consistent, and fair in your communication. Do not exaggerate.

Use confident body language: Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and avoid fidgeting.

3. Appeal to Emotions

Tell stories: Use anecdotes and narratives that evoke emotions and make your message memorable.

Show enthusiasm: Let your passion for the topic come through.

Use imagery and metaphors: Paint vivid pictures with words to create an emotional connection.

4. Use Logic and Reason

Present clear arguments: Structure your points logically and use data or evidence to support your claims.

Anticipate objections: Address potential counterarguments proactively.

Be specific: Use precise details rather than vague generalizations.

5. Master the Art of Listening

Active listening: Show genuine interest in others’ perspectives by nodding, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing their points.

Pause and reflect: Give people time to process your message and respond thoughtfully.

6. Adapt Your Communication Style

Match their tone: Adjust your language, tone, and pace to align with the audience’s preferences.

Choose the right medium: Consider whether face-to-face, email, or a presentation is most appropriate for your message.

Simplify complex ideas: Make your message accessible and easy to understand.

7. Practice Nonverbal Communication

Body language: Align gestures, facial expressions, and posture with your words.

Tone of voice: Use variations in pitch, speed, and volume to emphasize key points.

Eye contact: Maintain a balance to show confidence and build rapport.

8. Call to Action

Be clear and direct: Clearly outline the action you want your audience to take.

Highlight benefits: Explain how following your suggestion benefits them.

Use urgency: Encourage prompt action with time-sensitive reasons.

9. Practice, Reflect, and Improve

Seek feedback: Ask trusted peers or mentors for constructive feedback on your communication style.

Record yourself: Practice speeches or presentations and review them to identify areas for improvement.

Learn from others: Study skilled communicators and incorporate their techniques.

Whether you’re speaking to one person or a large group, by combining empathy, credibility, logical arguments, and emotional appeal, you can become a more persuasive communicator. You won’t have to argue to win people over to your way of thinking. You won’t have to lose their respect and trust. In fact, it’s just the opposite; persuasive communication will build trust and respect.

And you won’t have to wonder if the people you’re speaking with are of the same opinion still.

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How to Communicate More Effectively

Steve Keating 2 Comments

There are so many challenges in life that have their origins tied to poor communication that it would be almost impossible to list them all. Wars have literally been started as the result of miscommunication. Relationships have ended and businesses destroyed by misunderstandings caused by poor communication skills.

If you only have the opportunity to develop one skill then 100% of the time I’d recommend that skill be communication. Absent effective communication you will also struggle to make a meaningful connection with other people. Every relationship you have will be stronger when you improve your communication skills.

Like all skills if you stop working to further develop your communication skills they begin to decline. So even if you believe yourself to be an excellent communicator today that’s no guarantee you’ll continue to be an effective communicator tomorrow… unless you continue to hone your skills.

Here are some key principles and tips to help you communicate more effectively.

Active Listening

• We can’t discuss communication without beginning with a look at listening. ALL successful communication begins with focused listening. Pay full attention to the speaker, listen as if at that moment they are the most important person in the world because in the moment they are speaking to you, they are.

• Never interrupt the person speaking with you and do not begin formulating your response until AFTER they have finished speaking. It’s okay to have a moment of silence while you contemplate your response. A thoughtful response is always better than a fast one.

• “Show” your listening skills through non-verbal cues like nodding and maintaining eye contact.

• Summarize or paraphrase what the speaker has said to ensure understanding.

Clarity and Conciseness

• Be clear and concise in your communication.

• Avoid unnecessary jargon or complicated language, especially if your audience may not be familiar with it. Don’t use a bigger word than necessary to get your message across. It’s far more important to be smart than to sound smart.

• Organize your thoughts and choose your words BEFORE speaking or writing to ensure a logical flow.

Body Language

• Non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture can convey a lot.

• Be aware of your own body language and try to interpret others’ cues accurately.

Empathy

• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes to understand their perspective. Listen for common ground and try to avoid rejecting their message before they are even done presenting it.

• Acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree.

Feedback

• Provide constructive feedback when necessary, focusing on specific behaviors or actions rather than making personal attacks.

• Be open to receiving feedback and use it as an opportunity for growth. Never simply reject the feedback as wrong or destructive criticism. Remember, an open mind communicates more effectively than a closed mind in every instance.

Be Aware of Tone

• The tone of your voice or the tone conveyed in written communication can significantly impact the message. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask if you were them, how would you receive the message and change your tone if required.

• If the conversation is emotional in nature then adjust your tone to be as empathetic as possible. Remember, it’s your responsibility to make your message easy to hear and understand.

Choose the Right Medium

• Different situations may call for different communication mediums (e.g., face-to-face, email, phone, video call). Don’t “chicken out” and deliver bad news via text or email. Put your grown up pants on and either call the person or deliver the message face-to-face.

Ask Questions

• Seek clarification when needed by asking open-ended questions. This shows interest and helps ensure that you’ve understood the message correctly. If your goal is to truly be an effective communicator then you must accept responsibility for the clarity of both sides of the communication. You must be certain what you said was understood and you must make certain you understand what the other person said.

Remember that effective communication is a skill that can be developed over time. By incorporating these principles into your interactions, you can enhance your ability to communicate more effectively and build stronger connections with others. You’ll avoid misunderstandings, arguments and lost productivity.

Almost every part of your life will be better when you make the effort to communicate effectively. But as with all parts of life, the choice to do so is completely up to you.

How to be a More Effective Public Speaker

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Becoming a better public speaker is a skill that can be developed and refined over time. It takes work but the effort required is worth it in a myriad of ways. Improving your public speaking skills can make you a better communicator, boost your confidence, and help you connect with others.  Here are some tips and strategies to help you become a better public speaker and communicator.

• Practice: The most crucial step in improving your public speaking skills is to practice regularly. Rehearse your presentation multiple times to become more comfortable with the material and your delivery.

• Know your audience: Understand who you will be speaking to and tailor your message to their needs and interests. This will help you connect with your audience on a more personal level.

• Organize your content: Structure your speech or presentation logically, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transitions to guide your audience through your content.

• Start with a strong opening: Begin your speech with an attention-grabbing introduction. You can use a quote, a story, a surprising fact, or a thought-provoking question to engage your audience from the start.

• Use visual aids: Visual aids, such as slides, can help clarify complex ideas and make your presentation more engaging. Just be sure not to overload your slides with text and avoid reading them word for word. Your slides support your presentation, they are not your presentation. Never turn your back on your audience to read your slides cause when you turn back around they may be gone.

• Practice good body language: Pay attention to your posture, gestures, and facial expressions. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and use your body language to convey confidence and enthusiasm.

• Control your voice: Speak clearly and at a moderate pace. Vary your tone, pitch, and volume to keep your audience’s attention. Avoid speaking too fast or too softly.

• Eliminate filler words: Minimize the use of “um,” “uh,” “like,” and other filler words. Practice pausing instead of using filler words, as this can make your speech sound more confident and polished.

• Know your material: Become an expert on the topic you are speaking about. This will boost your confidence and allow you to handle questions and challenges more effectively. Here’s the reality of public speaking. If you know what you’re talking about you have no need to be nervous. If you don’t know what you’re talking about you have no need to be speaking.

• Engage the audience: Encourage interaction by asking questions, sharing anecdotes, and involving the audience in your presentation. This can make your presentation more interactive and relatable.

• Seek feedback: Record your speeches or presentations and review them to identify areas for improvement. You can also ask for feedback from trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues.

• Learn from others: Watch and learn from skilled public speakers. Analyze their techniques and adapt them to your style.

• Keep learning: Public speaking is a lifelong learning process. Stay updated on effective communication strategies and continually work on enhancing your skills.

Remember that becoming a better public speaker takes time and practice. Don’t get discouraged by occasional setbacks, and keep working on your skills to become a more confident and effective communicator.

Becoming a Listener Who Actually Listens

Steve Keating 2 Comments

For many years I sold the Dale Carnegie Course on Effective Communications and Human Relations. Many of the people who enrolled in that course wanted to be better speakers and presenters. I reminded them that there was a lot more to being a better presenter than just speaking well. I often got the sense that they weren’t listening to me.

And that was going to create huge challenges for them in becoming an effective presenter. It would also greatly hinder their chances of being an effective communicator. Here’s the reality in today’s world…most people simply don’t listen. They already know enough. Their mind is already made up. They have no desire to have their thinking muddled up with facts.

So instead of actually communicating with someone they try to “out talk” them. Actual communication requires a great deal of listening. That’s a challenge for people because listening often requires a gap in the conversation. People think that pausing the conversation for a few seconds to linger upon the words of the speaker makes them seem stupid.

That causes people to be thinking about their response before the other person is done speaking. YOU CANNOT FULLY LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHILE YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOUR RESPONSE IS GOING TO BE.

Truly effective communicators are willing to risk looking stupid so that they can actually be smart.

Listening is literally two-thirds of effective communication. So let’s talk about listening.

Being a better listener is a valuable skill that can improve your relationships, communication, and understanding of others. Here are some ideas on how to become a better listener.

• When someone is speaking to you, make a conscious effort to focus on what they are saying.

• Eliminate distractions, put away your phone, and create a quiet, conducive environment for the conversation.

• Eye contact conveys that you are engaged and interested in the conversation.

• It also helps you read the speaker’s non-verbal cues and emotions.

• Allow the speaker to finish their thoughts before responding.

• Interrupting can be seen as disrespectful and disrupts the flow of the conversation.

• Try to understand the speaker’s perspective and emotions.

• Use verbal and non-verbal cues, such as nodding and facial expressions, to show that you are empathetic.

• Position your body in a way that is open and welcoming, signaling your receptiveness to the speaker.

• Avoid crossed arms, which can appear defensive.

• Reflect back what the speaker is saying to confirm your understanding.

• Use phrases like, “So, what I’m hearing is…” or “If I understand correctly…”

• If something is unclear or you need more information, ask open-ended questions to encourage the speaker to elaborate.

• Suspend judgment and preconceived notions about the speaker or their topic.

• Be open to different perspectives and experiences.

• Let the speaker take their time to express themselves fully.

• Avoid rushing the conversation or finishing their sentences.

• Stay in the moment and avoid thinking about your response while the other person is speaking.

• This can help you fully absorb the information and respond more thoughtfully.

• Keep your emotions in check and remain calm during the conversation.

• If you become emotional, it can be challenging to listen effectively.

• After the conversation, follow up on any commitments or promises you made during the discussion.

• This shows that you take the conversation seriously and are reliable.

• Ask for feedback from the speaker on how well you listened.

• Use this feedback to improve your listening skills further.

It is no coincidence that the most successful people are often also the most effective listeners. That success transcends business to positively impact every area of their lives. Becoming a better listener is an ongoing process that requires practice and self-awareness. By consistently applying these ideas, you can improve your listening skills and build stronger, more meaningful relationships with others…in business and in life.

Prospering from Difficult Conversations

Steve Keating 1 Comment

No one enjoys difficult conversations. But skilled communicators and Authentic Leaders have them anyway. They know that avoiding difficult conversations helps no one.  They know that avoidance makes whatever situation is driving the need for the conversation worse. 

Having difficult conversations is an important skill to develop.  Especially if you want to have healthy relationships with others. Here are some ideas for making difficult conversations a little less difficult. 

  • Choose the right time and place. It’s important to choose a time and place where both you and the other person feel comfortable and safe to have a conversation. Make sure it’s a private space where you won’t be interrupted. But…if you’re in a position of authority the space should be neutral. Just because your office might be comfortable for you it may be anything but for the other person. That desk you sit behind is often an impenetrable wall between you and the person you’re trying to have the conversation with. If the space isn’t safe and comfortable for both parties involved in the conversation then it’s not a safe and comfortable space at all. 
  • Be clear about the issue. Before you start the conversation, take some time to think about what you want to say. Be crystal clear about the issue at hand. Try to focus on the behavior or action that’s causing the problem. Avoid making personal attacks. Be specific. Don’t use “waffle words.” Don’t use a bigger word than you need to make your point. Your goal in the conversation is not to show off your extensive vocabulary, it’s to communicate clearly. 
  • Listen actively. When you’re having a difficult conversation, it’s important to listen actively to the other person’s perspective. Try to understand where they’re coming from and show empathy for their feelings. If your reply to anything the other person says begins with, “yes but,” then it’s likely you’re not fully listening. It’s likely you were preparing your pithy response instead. Check yourself here; effective listening is every bit as important as anything you may say. 
  • Stay calm and respectful. It’s natural to feel emotional during a difficult conversation, but it’s important to stay calm and respectful. Avoid attacking the other person or becoming defensive. Never allow your passion to become an excuse for losing control of your emotions. 
  • Offer solutions. Instead of just pointing out the problem, offer solutions or suggestions for how to move forward. This can help to create a sense of collaboration and can lead to a more positive outcome. The great Dale Carnegie says to “make the fault seem easy to correct.” Never never never make a mountain out of a molehill. 
  • Follow up. After the conversation, it’s important to follow up and check in with the other person to make sure they’re okay and to see if any further action is needed. Very few difficult conversations are a “one and done” type of communication. Stay connected and make sure that all agreements made, no matter who made them, are being followed through on. 

Having difficult conversations takes practice, but it’s a valuable skill to have. With time and experience, you can become more confident in your ability to communicate effectively. You’ll navigate challenging conversations with much less stress.

Authentic Leaders don’t dodge difficult conversations. They use them to help their people and their organizations grow and prosper. Once you can do that there isn’t much that can get in the way your success.

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