One Key for Dealing With Change

changeI’m amazed by people who say they love change. I don’t know if they are serious, if they are just looking on the bright side, or they are just denying the existence of change. Maybe, I suppose it’s possible, maybe they actually do love change.

I’m actually okay with change so long as it doesn’t effect me personally. I know of many things and many more people who need to change. Thankfully, I’m not one of them. I know there are people who think I do need to change but it’s actually their thinking that needs to change, not me.

I suspect most people are like me, I have no real interest in changing or dealing with change and if the world would just sit still for a minute I’d be just fine with that.

But the world won’t sit still.

That’s why it’s so important that like change or not, we learn how to manage it and even use it to our benefit. Here’s the technical reason so many people struggle with change: they equate change with loss.

Every time something changes in your life you lose something, even if you initiate the change. You accept a new job and you “lose” many of the relationships that existed with the old one. You buy a new house and you miss some of your old neighbors. You may not even be aware of the “loss” but it affects you anyway.

One key to successfully managing change is to acknowledge the loss. We need to realize that it’s okay to feel a little distress with the loss, it’s normal and it doesn’t make you any less effective as a person or a leader.

Once you acknowledge the loss you can replace it. There is something in the “change” which will replace the loss, something new, something that might take getting used to, but the void of the loss will be filled.

Once the loss is acknowledged and replaced it becomes much easier to move forward. Change experts (which I am certainly not) would even say to celebrate the passing of old into new as a way of getting closure out the loss and embrace the new.

Here’s a fact that all successful people know: you don’t have to like change to make it work for you. You do need to understand it, you do need to accept it, you do need to realize that it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not.

The real question is whether it will happen to you or for you. That’s a choice and it’s a choice only you can make.

4 thoughts on “One Key for Dealing With Change

  1. Thank you, Steve! 🙂 I appreciate the value that you consistently give of yourself. I’m not saying this to pamper or fluff, even though i like to encourage others and its my gift I can’t undo. 🙂 Genuinely, I have enjoyed following or checking in with your roll sometimes even though i’m no longer on twitter. I always remembered you because you stand out with so much value and wow, no strings attached! I always wanted to say “Thank you” if I had a chance.

    One day recently i thought of you and looked up again on twitter /leadtoday and saw you had a blog that day, neato! Right on! Of course I subscribed too! I always hoped you would .. cause i don’t tweet much.

    *Anyway, Steve, I really appreciate your commitment to build-others up! So, “Thank you for being a living example of love and leadership and beautiful humanness-and brilliance of soul.” You shine, and I appreciate you giving others hope through caring genuinely about them, and sharing their strengths back.

    This blog post had me smiling at the beginning like a dialogue totally from my head too and it totally sounds right, like until *its personal, then its like whoaa! 🙂 haha, thanks for the smiles! i like how you talk about acknowledging loss, this is so true, a great point that is easy to forget.. I’ve always been a tender but a toughy so i haven’t always acknowledged the loss of something special until 5-7+ years later, when i’ve finally been given the chance to have it come up again and grieve it properly. anyway, now I know its healthier if one can to open the heart wide in those tough change moments, and deal with it and ‘try to feel it through’ and Stay in the powerful moment, or it takes a deeper cut out-creating this *it’s so personal cycle of depth, that was never intended.

    Many blessings to you and your family, in all that you do and who you are and will continue to be 🙂 Hugs,

    Jenn Zuniga

    Author, and Special Events Charity Coordinator

    Our Mission: Companioning Married Military Couples in their Marriages Unique Service: Pampering Married Military Couples on the Homefront through The Love Companion Tour(2013-2014). Jenn’s business portfolio:


    1. Thank you for your wonderful and kind comment. Your comment and others like it are what motivate me to continue my efforts here and on Twitter. I appreciate your very thoughtful words.

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