When playing golf, I have all kinds of confidence when my ball lands in a sand trap. First off, I’m confident that I’m basically screwed. I’m also confident that I’m in immediate danger of blowing up the hole and thus my entire round of golf.

None of that is what I would call “productive confidence.” It is absolutely “negative confidence,” and I can assure you the results of “negative confidence” are not what you’re hoping for.

The good news is that through a gradual process that involves changing your mindset, behaviors, and habits, you can turn that negative confidence into very productive confidence. Here are some practical steps to help you begin that gradual process today.

1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

• Identify negative thoughts: Pay attention to the negative beliefs you have about yourself, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail.”

• Replace them with positive affirmations: Instead of saying “I can’t,” say “I will.” Practice self-encouragement, and remind yourself of your accomplishments. For example, I have on occasion escaped the sand on my first attempt, even landing the ball approximately, kinda, sorta, where I intended to.

2. Take Action

• Step out of your comfort zone: Confidence comes from doing. Push yourself to try new things, even if they make you feel uneasy at first. Each step forward builds productive confidence.

• Start with small risks: Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting or trying a new skill, taking small risks will help you gradually become more comfortable with bigger challenges.

3. Improve Body Language

• Stand tall and make eye contact: Your posture sends messages to yourself and others. Standing straight and making eye contact give the impression of confidence, and this feeling often follows your actions.

• Smile and be approachable: These simple acts can make you feel more positive and open.

4. Build Competence

• Master your skills: Whether it’s in your job, hobbies, or personal projects, building competence in an area will naturally boost your confidence. I am spending lots of time in bunkers these days practicing. I’m not using a golf ball yet; my focus is entirely on hitting grains of sand to exact spots on the green. I am productively confident that once I do use a ball, it will land exactly where I want it to as well.

• Seek feedback: Constructive feedback helps you improve. Accept it gracefully and use it to grow.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

• Associate with supportive people: Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you. Their positive influence can enhance your self-belief.

• Limit exposure to negativity: Minimize contact with people who constantly criticize or bring you down.

6. Practice Self-Care

• Exercise and stay healthy: Physical activity releases endorphins, improving your mood and reducing anxiety. Feeling good about your body and health often correlates with feeling confident.

• Prioritize mental well-being: Get enough sleep and give yourself time to relax and recharge.

7. Learn from Failure

• Accept setbacks as part of growth: Everyone experiences failure. Instead of seeing it as a sign of defeat, treat it as an opportunity to learn and improve.

• Celebrate progress: Acknowledge and celebrate even small victories. Reflecting on how far you’ve come boosts confidence for future challenges.

8. Visualize Success

• Imagine yourself succeeding: Visualization is a powerful technique. Picture yourself achieving your goals or performing well in a situation. This mental practice can build confidence before you even take action.

9. Be Kind to Yourself

• Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when things don’t go perfectly. Everyone makes mistakes; what matters is how you handle them. Negative self-talk is even worse than having other people criticize you. You believe what you tell yourself about yourself, so keep it positive.

• Reward your efforts: Celebrate your hard work and persistence, not just the end results.

Building productive confidence is an ongoing journey, and progress takes time. Being patient with yourself as you grow will make the process more rewarding. Expecting too much too soon actually works against you and slows you down.

It’s indeed good to push yourself, but not all day, every day. Allow yourself some wriggle room, and the productive confidence you build will remain productive for a long, long time.