Tag Believe in Yourself

How to Be Productively Confident

Steve Keating Leave a comment

When playing golf, I have all kinds of confidence when my ball lands in a sand trap. First off, I’m confident that I’m basically screwed. I’m also confident that I’m in immediate danger of blowing up the hole and thus my entire round of golf.

None of that is what I would call “productive confidence.” It is absolutely “negative confidence,” and I can assure you the results of “negative confidence” are not what you’re hoping for.

The good news is that through a gradual process that involves changing your mindset, behaviors, and habits, you can turn that negative confidence into very productive confidence. Here are some practical steps to help you begin that gradual process today.

1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

• Identify negative thoughts: Pay attention to the negative beliefs you have about yourself, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail.”

• Replace them with positive affirmations: Instead of saying “I can’t,” say “I will.” Practice self-encouragement, and remind yourself of your accomplishments. For example, I have on occasion escaped the sand on my first attempt, even landing the ball approximately, kinda, sorta, where I intended to.

2. Take Action

• Step out of your comfort zone: Confidence comes from doing. Push yourself to try new things, even if they make you feel uneasy at first. Each step forward builds productive confidence.

• Start with small risks: Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting or trying a new skill, taking small risks will help you gradually become more comfortable with bigger challenges.

3. Improve Body Language

• Stand tall and make eye contact: Your posture sends messages to yourself and others. Standing straight and making eye contact give the impression of confidence, and this feeling often follows your actions.

• Smile and be approachable: These simple acts can make you feel more positive and open.

4. Build Competence

• Master your skills: Whether it’s in your job, hobbies, or personal projects, building competence in an area will naturally boost your confidence. I am spending lots of time in bunkers these days practicing. I’m not using a golf ball yet; my focus is entirely on hitting grains of sand to exact spots on the green. I am productively confident that once I do use a ball, it will land exactly where I want it to as well.

• Seek feedback: Constructive feedback helps you improve. Accept it gracefully and use it to grow.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

• Associate with supportive people: Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you. Their positive influence can enhance your self-belief.

• Limit exposure to negativity: Minimize contact with people who constantly criticize or bring you down.

6. Practice Self-Care

• Exercise and stay healthy: Physical activity releases endorphins, improving your mood and reducing anxiety. Feeling good about your body and health often correlates with feeling confident.

• Prioritize mental well-being: Get enough sleep and give yourself time to relax and recharge.

7. Learn from Failure

• Accept setbacks as part of growth: Everyone experiences failure. Instead of seeing it as a sign of defeat, treat it as an opportunity to learn and improve.

• Celebrate progress: Acknowledge and celebrate even small victories. Reflecting on how far you’ve come boosts confidence for future challenges.

8. Visualize Success

• Imagine yourself succeeding: Visualization is a powerful technique. Picture yourself achieving your goals or performing well in a situation. This mental practice can build confidence before you even take action.

9. Be Kind to Yourself

• Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when things don’t go perfectly. Everyone makes mistakes; what matters is how you handle them. Negative self-talk is even worse than having other people criticize you. You believe what you tell yourself about yourself, so keep it positive.

• Reward your efforts: Celebrate your hard work and persistence, not just the end results.

Building productive confidence is an ongoing journey, and progress takes time. Being patient with yourself as you grow will make the process more rewarding. Expecting too much too soon actually works against you and slows you down.

It’s indeed good to push yourself, but not all day, every day. Allow yourself some wriggle room, and the productive confidence you build will remain productive for a long, long time.

Eliminating Self-Doubt

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Lots of “self-help” types would tell you that when you believe in yourself, when you trust your ability, you are halfway to success already. When I say “lots” I mean a ton of them. It’s kind of amazing that so many of them think alike but what’s even more amazing it that every single one of them is 100% correct.

Believing in yourself is a true superpower. It strengthens every strength and weakens every weakness. It is a “self motivating” mindset. It is an encouraging attitude. It is like having a coach living inside your head.

Believing in yourself changes everything!

The first step to consistently believing in yourself and trusting yourself is to cleanse your mind of self-doubt. That’s often easier said than done but most everything worth doing is easier said than done. But getting that self-doubt out of your system is soooooo worth the effort.

Eliminating self-doubt is a process that involves understanding its roots and implementing strategies to overcome it. Here’s what that process looks like.

• Identify the Source. Self-doubt often stems from past experiences, negative feedback, or comparison with others. Reflect on what triggers your self-doubt and try to pinpoint its source.

• Challenge Negative Thoughts. When self-doubt arises, challenge the negative thoughts that accompany it. Ask yourself if there’s evidence to support these thoughts or if they are merely assumptions. Replace them with more positive and realistic affirmations.

• Set Realistic Goals. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable tasks. This helps build confidence as you make progress. Celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how small.

• Focus on Strengths. Acknowledge your strengths and past successes. Remind yourself of times when you overcame challenges or achieved something significant. Keep a journal of your achievements to refer to when self-doubt creeps in.

• Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing setbacks or failures. Instead of berating yourself, practice self-compassion by offering words of encouragement and forgiveness.

• Surround Yourself with Supportive People. Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you. Seek feedback and support from friends, family, or mentors who believe in your abilities and can offer constructive criticism.

• Focus on Personal Growth. Shift your focus from comparing yourself to others to improving yourself. Concentrate on continuous learning and growth rather than seeking external validation.

• Visualize Success. Use visualization techniques to imagine yourself succeeding in your goals. Visualizing positive outcomes can help boost confidence and reduce self-doubt.

• Ask for Help if Necessary. If self-doubt significantly impacts your daily life or mental well-being, consider seeking help from a mentor, close friend or maybe even a counselor. They can provide personalized strategies and support to overcome self-doubt.

Remember that eliminating self-doubt is a gradual process. It requires patience and perseverance. Don’t be too hard on yourself when the inevitable doubt tries to creep back in. Just redouble your efforts and don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way.

YOU GOT THIS!

Want more LeadToday? Many of you know I’m very active on X, the social media platform formerly known as Twitter. I post a lot of free content there but I also post 6-10 minute videos two or three times a week. These videos are focused on principles of leadership and life. They are “uncommon” common sense topics designed to help people push themselves to their full potential. Every video is available to subscribers who invest $4.99 a month for their future success. If you’re willing to push yourself towards the life you want and deserve my videos may just be the extra nudge you need to get there. Find your way over to X and follow me there. Once you’ve followed me you can subscribe on a month by month basis just by clicking the subscribe button. Remember, an investment in yourself ALWAYS pays dividends! You’ll find my timeline here: twitter.com/leadtoday

How to Maintain Your Self Esteem

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the greatest First Ladies the United States has ever had, Eleanor Roosevelt, said that “no one can make us feel inferior without our consent.” Sadly, at one time or another it seems we’ve all given our consent.

But the most successful people don’t give it for long. They pick themselves up, look in the mirror and see someone (themselves) with the potential to accomplish anything they want. They believe in themselves, even if no one else does. Especially when no one else does.

Odds are that many of you would tell me that believing in yourself is easier said than done. I’d respond by reminding you that almost everything worth doing is easier said than done and yet, successful people do it anyway.

Maintaining self-esteem is crucial for overall well-being and a positive mindset. It is also vital for your success. If you find yourself sometimes fighting the battle of low self-esteem here are some strategies you might find useful for winning the war.

Practice Self-Compassion:

• Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in difficult times.

• Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s a part of being human.

Positive Self-Talk:

• Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.

• Focus on your strengths and achievements rather than dwelling on perceived failures.

Set Realistic Goals:

• Break larger goals into smaller, achievable tasks.

• Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small, to build a sense of achievement.

Learn from Setbacks:

• View mistakes and failures as opportunities to learn and grow.

• Analyze the situation objectively and identify what you can do differently in the future.

Surround Yourself with Positivity:

• Build a supportive network of friends and family who uplift and encourage you.

• Limit exposure to negative influences and environments.

Take Care of Yourself Physically:

• Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and maintain a balanced diet.

• Physical well-being can positively impact your mental and emotional state.

Develop and Maintain Boundaries:

• Learn to say no when necessary to avoid overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed.

• Establish and communicate your personal boundaries with others.

Focus on Personal Values:

• Identify and prioritize your core values.

• Align your actions and decisions with these values to foster a sense of authenticity and self-worth.

Learn and Grow:

• Embrace opportunities for personal and professional development.

• Continuous learning and improvement can boost confidence and self-esteem.

Practice Gratitude:

• Regularly reflect on and appreciate the positive aspects of your life.

• Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus toward the good things.

Engage in Activities You Enjoy:

• Pursue hobbies and activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment.

• Doing things you love can enhance your overall sense of well-being.

Remember that building and maintaining self-esteem is an ongoing process. It requires consistent effort and self-reflection. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress you make along the way. Above all, when you begin to doubt your ability remember just how incredible you actually are. Remember all you’ve already accomplished. Remember you’re loved. Remember you’re special. Remember that you matter and remember you make a difference in the lives of those around. Never doubt a single one of those absolute facts!

People Believe What They Want to Believe

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Current research says that between 27 and 33% of Americans believe the moon landing was a hoax. My dad is a member of the NASA Hall of Fame. He worked on the Apollo program. I got to meet a few of the Astronauts. I sat in the Lunar Excursion Module. Tranquility Base and the Eagle are every bit as real today as they were in 1969. 

And yet there is nothing that can be said or done to convince almost a third of Americans that their country landed men on the moon and returned them home safely. 

People believe what they want to believe. 

Unfortunately, the moon landing isn’t the only thing people don’t believe. They don’t believe in themselves either. They don’t believe in their own unique talents and skills. They don’t believe that they have the ability, built within themselves, to be as successful as any person who has ever lived. 

They live a life punctuated with self-doubt and hesitation so strong that it is virtually paralyzing. 

Successful people are not free of self-doubt but they do find ways to overcome it and believe in themselves. 

First, they remember their past successes. They don’t dwell in the past but they have the ability to remind themselves that they have overcome obstacles before and can very likely do it again. They recall that feeling of uncertainty and that even though they may have had some setbacks on their way to success they DID in fact succeed in the end. The belief that they can succeed again is born from their past successes. 

Highly successful people do not compare their success to others. They know that comparison is the thief of joy. They reject the paralyzing feeling that comes from the fear of not accomplishing as much as someone else. They stay on their own path, striving to achieve their own goals, regardless of what somebody else does or thinks. 

They are very mindful of the thoughts they allow into their head. They shun negative inputs. They feed their brains with positive motivation and just smile when negative people tell them they aren’t being “realistic.” Successful people know that the most realistic thing they can possible do is believe in themselves, in both good times and bad. 

People who believe in themselves can readily identify their Core Values. They know what drives them. They know what, and who, matter in their lives. The life they live is solidly aligned with those values and that makes criticism from others far less detrimental. Those Core Values guide them in the direction of their goals and erases self-doubt when it pops up. 

Successful people make mistakes but mistakes don’t define them. They are defined by their belief that their attitude and efforts will result in a life well lived, whether anyone else thinks it was well lived or not. 

Believe in yourself. Believe in the value you bring to this world. Believe that you are special. Believe that you matter. Believe that you can make a difference. Believe it all because every word of it is true, whether you’re on planet earth or the moon. 

On a different subject… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

Who to Believe

Steve Keating 2 Comments

It’s hard to know what to believe these days. You can find “facts” to support pretty much anything you want to believe. It’s just as hard to know who to believe. People who seem to be thinking and talking logically one day appear to be completely off the rails the next. 

But I do have one solid recommendation on who to believe that you can take to the bank…maybe even literally. 

That recommendation is you. Yes, I wholeheartedly recommend that you believe in you. The most successful people, regardless of their walk of life, have that one thing in common. They believe in themselves. 

Believing in yourself changes everything about your life. You’ll not only see things differently but the things you see will actually be different. You’ll be less judgmental of other people because your focus will be on your life and what you want to accomplish. You’ll no longer feel the need to measure yourself against other people because you know, without a doubt, that you have what it takes to succeed.

You’ll discover that you do in fact have enough time. The old excuse about not having time falls away when your priorities are in order. You no longer waste time, you invest it. You invest it in accomplishing what’s best for you and those you care for. The activities a less confident you did with regularity to avoid taking risks will no longer be a part of your day. A self-confident you becomes a productivity monster accomplishing more in a day than most people do in a month. Yes, that is the real you when you believe in yourself!

Self-confident people attract other people and you very well may inspire other people to believe in themselves. Think about people who inspire you. You not only can be like them…you ARE like them, you only need to believe it. 

When you believe in yourself you become immune to the unjust criticism of others. You are able to accept the comments and decide for yourself if there is anything helpful to consider. Then you are free to use whatever part of the criticism you feel helps you succeed. When you believe in yourself all criticism becomes constructive, no matter how it was intended. 

Believing in yourself doesn’t eliminate life’s ups and downs. It does however make them a ton easier to deal with. You KNOW you will overcome whatever obstacles appear in your way. You are certain of it, there are no doubts, only possible solutions to consider. 

But here’s the best part…every single word I’ve written is 100% true for every single person reading this. This post isn’t about someone else, it’s about you!

I believe it, I believe it with all my heart. All you need to do is believe it too. Once you believe it, really really believe it, every obstacle becomes smaller, every possibility becomes clearer. You begin to live a life of purpose, on purpose. You begin to live the life you deserve.

Believe! 

100 Days of Mask Wearing

Steve Keating 1 Comment

If you’re looking for a political fight over whether people should be wearing masks during a pandemic you’ve come to the wrong place. The title of this post is pure clickbait cause I’m not writing about that kind of mask. 

I’m writing about the masks that many people wear everyday. Even people who would say “no one can make me wear a mask” frequently wear masks. 

It’s the masks they wear when pretending to be someone or something they are not. They wear them for a lot longer than 100 days too. They wear them for many reasons. Some don’t particularly like who they really are. Some want to impress people who they believe won’t accept them as they are. Some people seem to be afraid to let others know the person they actually are. The list of reasons could go on and on. 

I gave up on wearing the kind of mask that hides who I am a long time ago. I adopted the thinking of the great American philosopher Popeye. He was very comfortable with who he was and frequently said, “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.” 

Me too.

Some people don’t like who I am. That’s fantastic! I’ve not invested a single minute trying to fool people into liking me so at least they don’t like me for who I really am. Image making all that effort to wear a mask only to discover people don’t like the person you’re pretending to be. What a waste! I am what I am and that’s all that I am. If people like who and what I am then that’s fantastic too. 

Either way I’m not putting on a mask to try to get more people to like me. Wearing that kind of mask is a lot of work and it’s not particularly effective. People are gonna figure you out sooner or later anyway. You might as well make it easier by showing them the real you. 

I’m more than certain the people who are supposed to be in your life will be in your life. I’m also very sure that you’ll have a more enjoyable life living the life of the person you really are. It’s also likely that wearing a mask to hide the real you won’t make more people like you, it will just make different people like you. But if your mask falls off those people will quickly fall away.

If you need to wear a mask to get somebody to think better of you then you don’t need them thinking of you at all. You also shouldn’t care what they think in the first place.

Be you! Be the best you that you can possibly be. Be “all that you are” all of the time because it’s that authenticity that will ultimately make you a person to be admired. 

And you don’t need a mask for that!

The Enemy Within a Me

Steve Keating 7 Comments

People get frustrated with me when I tell them that it’s very likely the greatest obstacle to success they face is themselves. 

They tell me I don’t understand, but I do. They tell me I don’t know, but I do. They tell me I don’t know how tough it can be “out there,” but I do. 

I also know that in any situation where I’ve struggled to advance or accomplish a goal my greatest enemy was within me. That enemy slowed down my progress. My doubts about my own abilities prevented me from moving forward. Those doubts opened the door to my true enemy which was fear of failure. 

Despite the compliments I get about my speaking ability, the things I write and other stuff I do, I know this undeniable truth about myself…overall I’m a pretty average person. I don’t say that about myself in a bad way, in fact my “averageness” is one of my greatest strengths. It helps me relate to the people I’m trying to help. 

That’s why I can say with a high degree of confidence, I do understand, I do know. 

I also know my main enemy is within a me! 

I know the best way for me to block that enemy is to believe in myself. People who believe in themselves are pretty darn near impossible to stop. When YOU believe in yourself you are pretty much unstoppable.

Believing in yourself leaves no room for doubt. Without doubt to open the door fear has no way into your head. 

Any battle is halfway won when when your enemy within is kept away. Obstacles become opportunities when the enemy within you can’t mess with your head. 

So the next time doubt starts to creep into your thoughts you need to immediately ask yourself,  “is this an actual problem, or is this the enemy within a me just tearing down my confidence?”

If you’re average like me, and most of you are, (see, that’s how “average” works) you’ll know it’s the enemy within. You should also know you can defeat it by ignoring it. I know that if you believe in yourself you will be unstoppable. 

I know that about you cause I know that about me. I’ll never let the enemy within a me make me doubt my ability and neither you should you.