Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Once upon a time there lived a lovely princess named Snow White. Her vain and wicked stepmother, the Queen, feared that some day Snow White’s beauty would surpass her own. So she dressed the princess in rags and forced her to work as a maid. Each day the vain queen consulted her magic mirror, “Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”… and as long as the mirror answered, “You are the fairest of them all,” Snow White was safe from the Queen’s cruel jealousy.

Wouldn’t we all like a mirror that would tell us each day just how great we are. The thing is, some people really do seem to have one. They look in the mirror and the image they see is far different than the image they project to other people.

When we see ourselves we are most often crystal clear on exactly what we meant to say. We make good, appropriate decisions and when we look in the mirror we see somebody worth far more than they are being paid and someone not fully appreciated for the greatness they bring into the world everyday. We know precisely how to leverage our strengths and how to eliminate our weaknesses.

Or perhaps you look into the mirror and the person who looks back adds no value to their world, they are misunderstood and are destined to just wander through life until their time on earth is done.

It’s very likely that neither of those “reflections” is accurate. They are not accurate because hardly anyone sees themselves in the same way others see them. Their mirrors are not providing a reflection that truly shows the reality of their life.

So as we near the end of 2014 here is the best advice I could ever give anyone for a better 2015: get yourself an accurate mirror.

That “mirror” I’m talking about is actually a mentor or coach. Your mentor should be someone who cares about you enough to be open and honest with you about your strengths and weaknesses.

Your mentor needs to be self-reflective because if you want someone to share their wisdom with you, they need to have wisdom to share. Some people simply don’t spend much time thinking about their own experience. You’ll want a mentor that can explain what worked in their life AND why it worked. Your mentor can’t pass along what they don’t know so self-reflection is a key.

If you want a mentor that trusts you then you must be able to trust your mentor. In a good mentor relationship, you need to be able to be honest about your own life and circumstances – and you need to be certain that what you share won’t go beyond your mentor. If they can’t be trusted to keep confidences, your relationship will be superficial at best – actually damaging at worst.

If you’re brave enough to ask your mentor for advice then your mentor needs to be brave enough to give you a straight answer. Don’t look for a mentor who will sugar-coat the truth. Take your advice straight-up, with no sweetness and no politically correct wishy-washy coaching added.
Look for a generous, giving mentor, a mentor who truly wants the best for you. A true mentor will never feel threatened by your success. A generous mentor will invest the time required to help you become your very best. Your success will actually be a priority for them.

Some individuals may choose to hire a coach or a mentor. The same requirements apply; the one big difference is a professional coach may work with you for a predetermined amount of time, on one area of your life in particular or to help you achieve one big goal. Hiring a professional coach is not an expense, it is one of the best investments you can make, it’s an investment in yourself.

Either way you should know this: you will be more successful with someone to help you smooth out life’s bumps then you will ever be by going it alone.

I’m not sure I was clear enough with that so let me repeat it: you WILL be more successful with a coach or a mentor in your life than you will be without one. No matter how successful you are today you WILL be more successful when you add a coach or mentor to your life.

Got it? Then get one!

What Would You do to Succeed?

I would do anything in order to _____________________. Go ahead and fill in the blank for yourself. Have you ever said that to yourself or to someone else? I’ve said it when it was clear to the people around me that it wasn’t true. When I took the time to reflect on what I had said it became obvious to me as well that it wasn’t true. 

That statement is said so often it has almost become just a throw-away line. Something we say when we’re envious for example. It’s something we say when we wish we had the skill, accomplishment or success that someone else has. 

Lots of people say they would give anything at all to succeed. But when you watch them for a while it appears as if they actually wouldn’t give anything at all. They are not willing to do anything to help themselves succeed. When they say they would “do anything” it’s simply not true.

They want a skill, accomplishment, fame, or success but what they don’t want is the effort and commitment it takes to acquire it. 

Lots of people also say they are committed but others see no evidence of that commitment. If I or another coach or trainer were to observe you for a week would we see any outward signs of your commitment? Would we see you doing anything, anything at all, that would indicate you’re serious about making an effort to achieve your coveted goal?

Commitment Requires action! Action, action that leads to success anyway, requires a plan.

Do you have a plan? Have you made a personal investment? Have you made a personal sacrifice? Have you in fact done anything at all to succeed other than want success? I hate to be so blunt but wishing for and complaining about what other people have does not get you anything worthwhile. The reality is if you just sit on your behind and wait, hope and wish you’ll never get close to reaching your potential and earning the success available to you.

If you’re not willing to give anything up or do anything different then you shouldn’t expect anything different or better in return. The truth is, not only would you not “give anything,” apparently you wouldn’t give anything at all.

You need to make a plan, you need to set some goals, you need to have a timeline. You need to have a coach or mentor who will hold you accountable to all of the above.

Time can be your greatest asset or your biggest enemy, it all depends on whether you use it or waste it. Don’t let another day, hour or even minute go by without making a real commitment to take action. 

You can achieve your goals, you can accomplish great things. People and “things” will seem to conspire along the way to try and stop you. Never, never, never become a co-conspirator with them. 

Let other people spout the “I’d give anything” talk while you’re taking the steps required to succeed in your quest.

That’s how successful people do it!  

Mountains to Climb

great-smoky-mountainsMountains are beautiful from a distance, especially when we don’t need to hike over them to get somewhere else.

Imagine what the mountains meant to the early pioneers traveling across the vast prairie in search of the Great Northwest. They were not a welcomed sight, but rather, the very definition of hardship. It took days to travel even a few miles. The journey was rugged, the work exhausting, the progress minimal. Joy in passing through the rugged range rested completely upon the attitude of the pioneer.

Trials and hardships in life are like mountains. They are inevitable, challenging, unwanted obstacles, and much more beautiful when looking back on those recently conquered.

Today, many of us live in the midst of mountains. And so the question must be asked – how is your attitude?

I speak often on the importance of maintaining control of our attitudes. The ability to “set the tone” for your day, everyday, is critical for success in the face of the mountains that challenge us each day. It is difficult; to say the least, to remain positive when it seems as if every light at the end of the tunnel is just another train on it’s way to running you over. It might even be impossible to do it alone.

So….I’d like to offer a small suggestion – don’t try to do it alone. Simul-climb! Simul-climbing is a technique used by experienced rock climbers to move up a rock wall with a steady pace, it also allows the peak to be reached much faster.

Simul-climbing is basically two climbers roped together climbing at the same time. While it offers many advantages there seems to be one big shortcoming, if one falls, they both fall. This causes simul-climbers to be very selective when choosing a partner.

Pick a partner, or mentor, that will help you maintain control over your attitude and someone that you can help as well. This is a person who you can share your challenges with, one that offers advice and encouragement and accepts the same from you. Tie yourself to this person and attack the mountains that stand in the way of your eventual success. Remember, if you fall and your attitude goes south on you, you will be taking someone else with you.

So don’t fall!