There are so many negative things about comparing ourselves to others that I don’t even know where to begin. I can, however, tell you this: the happiest and most successful people only compare themselves to one person. They compare themselves to the person they were yesterday.

They focus on becoming a better version of themselves each day. They understand others will have skills they don’t. They understand that no matter how much “stuff” they have, somebody else will always have more, or perhaps just appear to have more. They also know that no matter how little they appear to have, there will always be people who have less than they do.

All that reaffirms for them the silliness of comparing themselves to others.

But one of the biggest problems for people who do compare themselves to others is envy. Most people want what others appear to have. If they don’t believe it’s possible for them to ever have it, they even want it more.

Envy is a debilitating condition. It robs us of our joy. It blinds us to the gifts, tangible and intangible, that we already possess. Everyone is better off when they eliminate as much envy as possible from their lives.

But that’s not the easiest thing to do. Overcoming envy takes self-awareness and intentional, very intentional, effort. But if you’re willing to make the effort, here’s how to go about being less envious of others.

1. Recognize and Accept Your Feelings

Acknowledge the Envy: Understand that envy is a natural emotion and doesn’t make you a bad person.

Identify Triggers: Reflect on what or who tends to spark your feelings of envy.

2. Shift Your Perspective

Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. Daily gratitude journaling can help.

Celebrate Others’ Success: Instead of seeing their success as a threat, try to view it as inspiration or proof of what is possible.

3. Focus on Your Own Journey

Set Personal Goals: Define your version of success and work towards it. This will keep your focus on self-improvement rather than comparison.

Avoid Constant Comparison: Remember, people often share the highlights of their lives, not the struggles. What they seem to have may just be a mirage.

4. Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

Invest in Yourself: Engage in activities that build your confidence and highlight your strengths.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and patience, just as you would a close friend.

5. Limit Your Exposure to Negativity

Be Aware of Social Media: If certain accounts or platforms fuel envy, take breaks or unfollow.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with those who uplift you rather than make you feel inadequate.

6. Cultivate a Generous Spirit

Help Others: Giving your time, energy, or resources to others can shift focus away from envy and toward connection and contribution.

Celebrate Small Wins: Cheer for others’ successes, even in small ways, to foster a sense of camaraderie.

7. Learn and Grow

Reframe Envy as a Guide: Use it as a signal to identify areas where you may want to grow or change.

Seek Support: If envy is overwhelming, consider talking to a trusted friend or mentor for deeper guidance.

At all times, focus on YOUR strengths. Constantly work to build a positive mindset. Value what makes you special and unique. When you can do all that consistently, you’ll find it a whole lot easier to let go of envy and live your best life possible.