There’s a Big Difference Between Pointing Out Your Strengths and Bragging

Years ago, I was looking for someone to develop and present a workshop on remaining humble when you’ve achieved great success. I did not succeed in finding that person because I realized pretty quickly that anyone willing to say they were qualified likely wasn’t.

I mean, “I can do it because I’m the most humble person you’ll ever meet” is not exactly a qualifying statement. I was looking for someone who could tell me how qualified they were without telling me they were qualified. It was a fool’s errand.

But in business and in life there are times when we need to point out our strengths to others. If we’re asking for a raise or interviewing for a job are two instances that come immediately to mind. We need to use a balance of humility and confidence when pointing out our strengths. We do not want to seen as arrogantly bragging about ourselves.

Finding that balance requires a combination of confidence and humility. Here are some ideas to help you share your strengths with a strong dose of humble confidence.

Focus on the facts. Instead of using superlative or boastful language, rely on concrete examples or results. For instance, say, “I led a team that increased sales by 15% last quarter,” instead of “I’m the best salesperson.” Focusing on facts allows your achievements to speak for themselves.

Acknowledge others. Share credit where it’s due. If a team effort led to your success, mention how others contributed. This shows humility and an understanding of collaboration. For example, “I was able to improve project timelines by coordinating closely with the team.”

Stay relevant. Tailor what you share based on the context. If you’re in a job interview, highlight strengths relevant to the role. In casual conversation, avoid listing achievements that might seem unnecessary or self-serving.

Use third-party validation. Mention feedback or recognition from others. For example, “My manager commended me for my ability to handle difficult clients,” rather than, “I’m great with clients.” This shifts the praise away from self-promotion to an outside perspective.

Frame it as a learning experience. When discussing your strengths, you can present them as part of your growth. For example, “Through this project, I learned how important effective communication is, and it is something I’ve continued to develop.” This shows that you value self-improvement.

Be brief. Share your strengths in a concise and natural way. Over-explaining can make it seem like you’re seeking validation or bragging.

Use “I” statements carefully. Avoid overusing “I” statements. Instead of “I did this, I achieved that,” mix in statements like “The project was successful because we…”

The reality is, sometimes it’s necessary to do a little “self-promotion.” But how you do that is the key to sounding humbly confident. If you lose that key you may just look arrogant and be locked out of future success, promotions, and stronger relationships. So stay humble, offer context, and keep your tone genuine. That’s how you can highlight your strengths without coming across as boastful.

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2 thoughts on “There’s a Big Difference Between Pointing Out Your Strengths and Bragging

  1. Two years ago, Human Resources sent me (and all department heads) a blank performance appraisal form and instructions to appraise myself. I’m not a fan of these and–given I have topped out on promotions–I usually just fill out their little form and say a few things about myself to get the standard 2% raise. In this instance, a substantial raise was proposed, so I opened a blank document and wrote, “Let me start by saying that I’m not very comfortable with self-aggrandizement, but I humbly submit my work self-review for your consideration. I strive to exceed expectations in every category….”

    I submitted 9 pages, and consequently received the big raise.

    If my boss followed up with an appraisal for me, I was never given a copy.

    1. 9 pages is exceptional, but somehow I get the feeling you were simply stating actual strengths and accomplishments. I used to schedule and hour with each of my people for their annual review. I had one person who came to me and said she had a very good year and would need WAY MORE than an hour to go over all her accomplishments. She felt it important to cover all of them in detail since she was able to accomplish more than anyone had ever accomplished before. She suggested 6 hours. We stayed with an hour, she was frustrated but I survived. She actually was very good at her job, but not exactly humble.

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