This is a bit of a challenging post to write. It will also perhaps be a challenging post for some people to read. It is a challenge in both directions because without seeing my facial expressions and hearing my tone of voice some people will think this post is uncaring.
My intent however is the absolute opposite of uncaring.
I’m writing this specifically for people who feel like crying during difficult circumstances. Notice I didn’t say I am writing this TO you, I am writing this FOR you. This is a message you need to hear.
In every difficult circumstance there are two kinds of people. Those who cry over their circumstances and those who try to improve them. Even people who cry about their circumstances know that the people who try to improve their circumstances have a much better chance to succeed.
But they don’t believe they can do anything about their own circumstances. The crying group wears the mantle of victimhood like a $5000 suit or a custom made ball gown. It is a very comfortable fit.
Even with a life full of far more comfortable options they have convinced themselves that they have nothing else to wear.
The trying group on the other hand will wear anything. They don’t care if their plaid pants don’t go with their striped shirt. They will try anything. They know that no matter how poorly their attempt might turn out the only way they can truly fail is to not continue trying.
The trying group believes in themselves. They trust themselves. They know they have what it takes to succeed.
That belief and trust in themselves is all that is separating them from the crying group. The trying group does not have vastly greater skills than the crying group, they just make a choice to use whatever they have.
Trying is hard work. Crying is just hard. Trying gets you somewhere. Crying traps you right where you are. Trying creates hope. Crying creates more crying.
The good news is that the price for moving from the crying group into the trying group is low.
All you need to do is to make a choice. A choice that says I’d rather try and fail 1000 times than to sit here and cry with no chance to improve my situation.
A choice that says I may or may not have what it takes to succeed but I’m going to use everything I do have and see where it leads.
My mom used to tell me to not cry over spilt milk. Yet I spilt my milk all the time and would invariably cry over it. Until I decided that crying wasn’t going to solve my spilling problem. I decided on the solution right then and there…. I haven’t had a glass of milk since.
In any circumstance you can choose an attitude of “Woe is me” or you can chose an attitude of “Wow is me.” Which one you choose sets your life on either a path of success or a path with puddles of spilt milk.
11 thoughts on “Cry or Try, The Choice is Yours”
Love this line! “My mom used to tell me to not cry over spilt milk. Yet I spilt my milk all the time and would invariably cry over it. Until I decided that crying wasn’t going to solve my spilling problem. I decided on the solution right then and there…. I haven’t had a glass of milk since.”
Thansk for sharing
Thanks Michael, I still have milk, it’s just frozen now, it doesn’t spill so easily. I think they call it ice cream. 🙂
“No use crying over spilt milk” Your mom and mine must have come from the same place. If I heard that once, I heard it a hundred times growing up when making a mistake or making a mess. I learned that my mom was capable of crying as she was a compassionate, caring soul and when I saw her in tears, I knew it was something very serious. She also had what we might call today grit and resilience having grown up in the Great Depression and making her own way with my Dad in those early years, starting together in 1931 in rural, southern Ohio. Lessons learned from them have stayed with me through more than spilt miilk events in my own life and I remain enormously grateful.
We humans have the capacity to do SO MUCH more than we often think we do. I think people like our parents who went through the Great Depression learned those lessons in the school of hard knocks. I mean no disrespect when I say this but I think many of our generation and younger generations have gone kinda soft. With the best of intentions we try to keep the door to that school of hard knocks shut tight so our kids and their kids won’t ever experience it. I’m not so sure that is leading to the result we want. Anyway, we were lucky to have parents like we did. I still remember sitting on a bench after a sporting event dejectedly watching people receive their awards. My dad came over to me and said to stand up and applaud the winners. He said they deserved it and if I wanted to deserve it I’d had to try harder, I’d have to do better. I’d have to win. It kinda hurt at the time but through the years I’ve learned it was one of the best, most life changing things he ever said to me. We don’t hear that from parents often enough these days.
Thanks Steve! Needed this today 🙂
You’re welcome, I’m glad it was helpful.
Now for your next challenge, you should write on when to cry and why it is important. Sometimes your followers need to see you cry.
I would agree, sometimes crying is healthy, in fact often. Crying again and again over things you can change and control…. not so healthy.