How to Stop Being a Complainer

Okay, I’d be the first to admit that on the surface, there is a whole lot to complain about these days. I won’t list them all here cause I like to keep my posts under a million words. But we know what the big ones are. When we add in our own little pet peeves it’s pretty easy to be complaining all the time.

But that is incredibly unproductive. It’s also unhealthy. It robs you of your joy. It’s steals your creativity. It makes you less fun to be around, I mean let’s face it, we don’t even like ourselves when we’re in complainer mode.

It’s so easy to fall into the complainer trap. We often do it without giving it a second thought. Someone asks us how our day is going and we launch into a stream of everything that’s wrong in the world. All that accomplishes is making the person regret asking us in the first place.

If you want to stop being a complainer you need to give your answer a second thought. When someone says how is your day going consider the impact your words will have on their day. Do you want to make their day better or drag them down to your level? One of the surest ways to up the positivity of your own day is to consider your impact on other people.

Here are a few thoughts on what you may want to be thinking about when you’re giving your answer that “second thought.”

• Self-awareness: The first step to change is recognizing that you tend to complain. Pay attention to your thoughts and speech patterns. Are you frequently expressing dissatisfaction or negativity about various aspects of your life? Acknowledging the issue is the first step towards improvement.

• Identify triggers: Determine what prompts you to complain. Is it stress, frustration, boredom, or a particular situation or person? Understanding your triggers can help you address the root causes of your complaints.

• Practice gratitude: Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by regularly acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. You can keep a gratitude journal where you write down things you’re thankful for each day. This practice can shift your focus away from complaining and towards appreciation.

• Reframe your thoughts: Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, make an effort to reframe your thoughts and focus on solutions and positive aspects. When something bothers you, try to find a more constructive perspective and identify actions you can take to address the issue.

• Limit exposure to negativity: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. If you find that certain individuals or environments encourage complaining, consider reducing your exposure to them or setting boundaries to protect your positivity.

• Practice active listening: Be mindful of how much you complain in conversations with others. Instead of constantly talking about your own problems, listen actively to others, show empathy, and engage in meaningful discussions that don’t revolve around complaints.

• Problem-solving: If you have legitimate concerns or issues, focus on problem-solving rather than venting. Identify the problem, brainstorm potential solutions, and take action to address it. This proactive approach can help you feel more in control of your life.

• Maintain a positive mindset: Work on developing a more positive outlook on life. This can include reading self-help books, practicing mindfulness, or seeking the support of a therapist or counselor to address deeper issues that may contribute to your tendency to complain.

• Choose your words carefully: Pay attention to your language and try to avoid using overly negative or critical words. The way you express yourself can influence your mindset and how others perceive you.

• Set goals and stay focused: Having clear goals and a sense of purpose can help you stay motivated and positive. When you’re actively working towards something meaningful, you’re less likely to get caught up in complaining.

• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and understand that everyone has moments of frustration or negativity. Don’t beat yourself up for complaining; instead, use it as an opportunity for self-improvement and growth.

• Seek support: If you find it challenging to stop complaining on your own, consider enlisting the support of friends, family, or a mentor who can help you on your journey to becoming a more positive and solution-oriented person.

Changing your habits and mindset takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Over time, with consistent practice and self-awareness, you can become less of a complainer and more of a positive, solution-focused person.

How to Boost the Morale of Your Team

High morale is often the little recognized secret to success. Organizations and leaders that work to ensure the morale and engagement level of their people remain high, outperform those who don’t. Boosting the morale of your team is essential for maintaining productivity, job satisfaction, and overall team cohesion. High morale can lead to increased motivation, creativity, and a more positive work environment. High morale means lower turnover and far fewer personal issues, even in turbulent times. Here are some strategies to intentionally boost your team’s morale on a regular basis.

• Effective Communication:

• Keep an open line of communication with your team members. Regularly check in with them to see how they are doing both personally and professionally.

• Provide clear and transparent information about company goals, expectations, and changes. It is virtually impossible to over communicate.

• Recognize and Appreciate:

• Acknowledge and appreciate the hard work and contributions of your team members. Publicly praise their achievements, either in team meetings or through company-wide channels.

• Consider implementing a rewards and recognition program to formally acknowledge outstanding performance. People tend to do what’s required of them for pay, they do more than required for the recognition.

• Provide Opportunities for Growth:

• Offer opportunities for skill development and career advancement within the organization.

• Help team members set and achieve professional goals. Provide resources and support for their growth. If your people are not aware of their career path within your organization then they have no career path within your organization.

• Empower and Delegate:

• Trust your team members with responsibility and delegate tasks that align with their skills and interests.

• Empower them to make decisions within their areas of expertise, fostering a sense of ownership and autonomy. There is very little that can boost morale more than being trusted by the people above you in the organization.

• Work-Life Balance:

• Encourage a healthy work-life balance. Avoid overloading your team with excessive work or unrealistic deadlines.

• Promote flexible working arrangements when possible, such as remote work or flexible hours.

• Team Building:

• Organize team-building activities and events to strengthen team bonds.

• Create a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose through team projects and collaborative efforts. Remember, the deepest relationships are typically built “off the clock” so provide opportunities for those relationships to grow.

• Provide Constructive Feedback:

• Offer regular, constructive feedback to help team members improve their skills and performance.

• Focus on specific behaviors and outcomes, and provide guidance on how to make positive changes. Your people NEED to know how they are doing, without direct input from their leaders their imaginations take over and that’s usually not helpful for morale.

• Lead by Example:

• Demonstrate a positive attitude, strong work ethic, and professionalism.

• Be a role model for the behaviors and values you want to see in your team.

• Address Issues Promptly:

• Address conflicts and issues within the team promptly and professionally.

• Show that you are committed to resolving problems and maintaining a positive work environment.

• Celebrate Achievements:

• Celebrate team and individual achievements, whether they are big or small. This can include milestones, project completions, or personal accomplishments.

• Use celebrations as an opportunity to build team spirit and show your appreciation.

• Provide Support During Challenges:

• During difficult times, such as tight deadlines or challenging projects, offer your support and help your team manage stress.

• Show empathy and understanding for their concerns and provide resources if needed.

Leadership is not a part-time job. Authentic Leaders know that like creating a solid culture, boosting morale is an ongoing process. It requires consistent effort, adaptability, and a genuine commitment to the well-being and success of your team members. By implementing these strategies, you can create a positive work environment that fosters high morale and team satisfaction.

That will make your life as a leader much more rewarding and much less stressful. But as always, the amount of effort you put into the morale building process is completely up to you. I hope for your people’s sake, you choose to put in a whole lot of effort.

How to Consistently Give Your Best Effort

I’ve always believed there are two areas of our lives that we have complete control over. Those two areas are our attitude and the amount of effort we put into accomplishing whatever it is we are trying to get done.

It may seem that controlling our attitude is the harder of the two but truly putting forth our best effort day after day is a significant challenge as well. Consistently giving your best effort is essential for achieving success and personal growth in various aspects of life. Whether it’s in your career, relationships, or personal pursuits. It may seem like a generalization but the reality is the more consistent you are in your effort, the more consistently positive your results will be. So here are some thoughts that may help you give your best effort even when you’d rather just say the hell with it.

• Start by defining clear and specific goals for yourself. What do you want to achieve? Having a clear sense of purpose will give you direction and motivation. Write those goals down. Share them with the important people in your life. Ask them to hold you accountable for achieving those goals in a given time frame. Develop a plan to achieve each one of those goals because it’s that process that will make your goals real.

• Organize your tasks and responsibilities. Create a to-do list or use a task management system to prioritize your activities. This will help you focus on what’s most important and avoid wasting time on less meaningful tasks. Remember, there is no bigger waste of time than doing well that which doesn’t need to be done at all.

• Manage your time effectively. Allocate dedicated time for important tasks and avoid procrastination. Use techniques like time blocking to ensure you allocate sufficient time to high-priority activities.

• Plan ahead for your tasks and projects. This includes doing research, gathering necessary resources, and creating a step-by-step plan. Proper preparation can significantly improve your performance.

• Cultivate a growth mindset, which means believing in your ability to improve through effort and learning. Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow, and don’t be discouraged by setbacks.

• Keep your workspace and environment organized. A clutter-free and well-structured space can help you stay focused and reduce distractions. Do not fool yourself into thinking that mess on your desk somehow makes you more productive, it’s exactly the opposite.

• Focus on one task at a time. Multitasking can reduce the quality of your work and lead to errors. Concentrate on the task at hand and give it your full attention. All multitasking really does is give you the opportunity to screw up multiple tasks at once, so avoid it at all cost.

• Learn to manage stress effectively. High stress levels can lead to burnout and hinder your ability to perform at your best. Practice stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, exercise, or deep breathing.

• Avoid overworking yourself. Take regular breaks to recharge and maintain your productivity. Short breaks can help you regain focus and creativity. Do not kid yourself into thinking that things like eating lunch at your desk makes you more productive. It actually makes you less productive later in the day. You NEED to recharge throughout the day!

• Solicit feedback from peers, mentors, or supervisors. Constructive feedback can provide valuable insights into areas where you can improve and help you refine your efforts. Sometimes we can convince ourselves that we’re giving our best effort when others can clearly see that we are not.

• Commit to lifelong learning. Stay updated with industry trends, new technologies, and best practices. Expanding your knowledge and skills will enable you to excel in your field. I’d actually recommend blocking 15-30 minutes every week for the purpose of learning something new. If you can’t answer the question, “what have you learned lately?” then you may not be giving your best effort even if you think you are.

• Understand that giving your best effort is an ongoing process. There will be challenges and setbacks along the way. Maintain your determination and resilience to keep pushing forward. This is the hardest part, you’ll need to stay far away from negative emotions or you’ll risk allowing other people and events gaining control over your level of effort rather than you.

• Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your successes can boost your motivation and help you maintain a positive mindset. Remember, all progress is progress and even tiny progress begets more progress.

• Regularly reflect on your performance and assess what is and isn’t working. Be open to making adjustments and refining your approach to consistently improve.

Consistently giving your best effort is a lifelong commitment to personal and professional development. It requires discipline, dedication, and a willingness to adapt and learn from your experiences. By trying these ideas and staying committed to your goals, you can maximize your potential and achieve success in every area of your life.

How to Maintain a Positive Attitude

So why the heck am I writing about a positive attitude in a leadership blog? Why am I not staying on topic here and talking about leading people? Why go all Pollyanna and say everything will be better just by staying positive. 

Well here’s why. Because every single aspect of your life WILL IN FACT be better if you CHOOSE to have a positive attitude. Every relationship will be stronger. Every decision will be easier. Every problem will present with it tremendous opportunity. Every bad day will be a little less bad. Every good day will be a little bit better. A positive attitude keeps your mind open. A positive attitude keeps your blood pressure lower. 

A positive attitude changes everything. 

Here’s something else about positive attitudes. Maintaining one day in and day out is a mighty big challenge. We are surrounded by negativity. We hear negativity in the media. It’s downright pervasive on social media. We hear it from colleagues, friends and even family. It’s literally everywhere. 

Yet in the face of all that negativity a choice remains. And that’s the choice of maintaining our own positive attitude. It’s not an easy choice. It’s a choice we must make each and every day because if we don’t make that choice for ourselves someone or something else will make it for us. Nothing is as contagious as someone else’s negative attitude. 

So you must make a conscious choice everyday. A choice that says “for today I will be in charge of my attitude and I will not allow anyone or anything to rob me of that precious life changing choice.”And then you need to fight like hell to make it happen. 

Below are a few ideas to help you in that fight. They help me, but to be honest with you I still lose that fight way too often. But I win it more than most people so I’m claiming victory. I’m hoping this post can share that victory with you. So here we go. 

  • Focus on the things you are grateful for in your life. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal can be helpful, where you write down things you are thankful for each day.
  • Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you. Positive and supportive relationships can have a significant impact on your attitude and outlook. You know the kind of people I’m talking about…those people who annoyingly see the bright side of everything. Let them annoy you a little more often because positive attitudes can be just as contagious as negative ones if you’re exposed often enough. 
  • Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions. When negative thoughts pop up, try to observe them without judgment and replace them with more positive and constructive ones.
  • Instead of dwelling on problems, direct your energy towards finding solutions. This proactive approach can boost your confidence and create a more positive mindset.
  • Identify activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. It could be hobbies, sports, spending time in nature, or creative pursuits. Regularly engaging in such activities can boost your overall mood.
  • Pay attention to the information you consume, whether it’s through the news, social media, or conversations. Limit exposure to negative or toxic content and seek more positive and uplifting sources.
  • Use positive affirmations to reframe your mindset and reinforce a positive attitude. Tell yourself affirming statements about your abilities, worth, and potential. If this sounds hokey to you don’t worry. It’s sounds hokey to me too and I wouldn’t mention it here except for the one small fact that it absolutely works. 
  • Failure is a natural part of life. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or setbacks, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. This perspective can help you maintain a positive attitude even during challenging times. Failure is never final unless you decide to make it so. 
  • Laughter is a powerful tool for lifting your spirits. Find humor in everyday situations, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Share laughs with friends, watch comedy, or engage in activities that make you smile. If you can’t find a single thing to laugh about during the day then do what I do, find a mirror and have yourself a big ol’ laugh. 
  • Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate your progress and give yourself credit for your efforts. You’re still trying, you’re still fighting the fight, you’re still on your way to success and I can’t think of anything more positive than that. 

Maintaining a positive attitude is a journey and it will not always be easy. It requires practice, patience, and self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and continue working on building a positive mindset, one step, and one day, at a time.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success.

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

People Believe What They Want to Believe

Current research says that between 27 and 33% of Americans believe the moon landing was a hoax. My dad is a member of the NASA Hall of Fame. He worked on the Apollo program. I got to meet a few of the Astronauts. I sat in the Lunar Excursion Module. Tranquility Base and the Eagle are every bit as real today as they were in 1969. 

And yet there is nothing that can be said or done to convince almost a third of Americans that their country landed men on the moon and returned them home safely. 

People believe what they want to believe. 

Unfortunately, the moon landing isn’t the only thing people don’t believe. They don’t believe in themselves either. They don’t believe in their own unique talents and skills. They don’t believe that they have the ability, built within themselves, to be as successful as any person who has ever lived. 

They live a life punctuated with self-doubt and hesitation so strong that it is virtually paralyzing. 

Successful people are not free of self-doubt but they do find ways to overcome it and believe in themselves. 

First, they remember their past successes. They don’t dwell in the past but they have the ability to remind themselves that they have overcome obstacles before and can very likely do it again. They recall that feeling of uncertainty and that even though they may have had some setbacks on their way to success they DID in fact succeed in the end. The belief that they can succeed again is born from their past successes. 

Highly successful people do not compare their success to others. They know that comparison is the thief of joy. They reject the paralyzing feeling that comes from the fear of not accomplishing as much as someone else. They stay on their own path, striving to achieve their own goals, regardless of what somebody else does or thinks. 

They are very mindful of the thoughts they allow into their head. They shun negative inputs. They feed their brains with positive motivation and just smile when negative people tell them they aren’t being “realistic.” Successful people know that the most realistic thing they can possible do is believe in themselves, in both good times and bad. 

People who believe in themselves can readily identify their Core Values. They know what drives them. They know what, and who, matter in their lives. The life they live is solidly aligned with those values and that makes criticism from others far less detrimental. Those Core Values guide them in the direction of their goals and erases self-doubt when it pops up. 

Successful people make mistakes but mistakes don’t define them. They are defined by their belief that their attitude and efforts will result in a life well lived, whether anyone else thinks it was well lived or not. 

Believe in yourself. Believe in the value you bring to this world. Believe that you are special. Believe that you matter. Believe that you can make a difference. Believe it all because every word of it is true, whether you’re on planet earth or the moon. 

On a different subject… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

Are You a Model of Success?

One of the things that frustrate many people in leadership positions is their people not doing what they are told to do. They don’t follow directions and frequently ignore what the leader says. 

It’s kinda true that many people don’t listen to what their leader says. That’s because they are too busy watching what their leader does. 

Authentic Leaders know that their actions speak louder, much louder, than their words. They know that people will do what their leader does about 1000 times faster than they will do what their leader says. Authentic Leaders know that they are the model for the behavior of their people. Not only are they the model for behavior, they are the model for their attitude as well. 

If you’re in a leadership position then you must be hyper-aware that your people are watching you. Always. They watch to determine if what you say is what you mean. If your actions match your words then they will do what you say. If your words say one thing and your actions another then they typically discard your words and do what you did. 

They know that while they may misinterpret your words they can clearly see what you’ve done. Doing what you do is “safer.” What you do likely helped put you into a position they would like to be in one day. It only makes sense that they would follow the example you set for them. 

You confuse them when you get frustrated because they did what you did. You may not realize that you’re leading by example but you most certainly are. Whether you intend to or not. 

Whatever behavior you “model” for your people is the behavior your people will give you. 

It works the same with the attitude your people display. If you demonstrate a negative attitude to your people then don’t be surprised when your people demonstrate one to you. If you’re leading a group of people with a negative attitudes the source of that attitude most likely looks back at you from the mirror every morning. 

Most people in leadership positions don’t like it, or agree with it, when I say that. They believe they are the sunshine in everyone’s day. Let me encourage you to look at yourself again. Maybe hit record on your smartphone and “listen” to yourself for a few hours. You may be surprised at how negative you sound…if you listen with an open mind. 

As a leader, do you cultivate an atmosphere where negative attitudes go to die or do you allow an atmosphere where negative attitudes can thrive? 

Authentic leaders know that when it comes to behavior and attitudes they will most likely get what they give. That’s why they work to consistently model an attitude of success and the behavior that goes along with it. 

Sure Things

It’s hard to know these days exactly what you can believe. You can find “facts” on the internet to support almost anything you want to be true. But as President Abraham Lincoln once said, “Don’t believe everything you read online.” 

But this post is in fact loaded with truths. No need to worry about checking Wikipedia for this post, these truths are sure things.

The first absolute truth is this…You are special! You matter, you make a difference in this world simply by being you. Never let the words or actions of another person cause you to doubt this indisputable truth. Your self-respect is priceless and always remember that no one can steal it from you unless you leave the door unlocked.

The second sure thing is that you can do more than you think you can. Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” If you’re like most people one of your greatest obstacles to success is your own self-doubt. The most successful people didn’t think they could succeed, they knew they would succeed. Develop that mindset and you’re on your way to the success you deserve. 

One of the surest sure things is that your chances for success are much better when you have a coach or a mentor. The qualifications for a good mentor are many but the best mentors have a long view of life. That means that they know other people built bridges for them to cross. Their long view of life drives them to build bridges themselves, for people just like you. Find yourself a mentor and your bridge to the future will come into focus.

The surest sure thing is this: God believes in you even if you don’t believe in Him. The things you’ve done that you think are unforgivable can be forgiven by Him before you even do them. That means the path is clear for you to forgive yourself. God’s love for you is real. It is boundless and never ending. Remember that on the days you feel unloveable and every day of your life will be better because of it. 

The next sure thing is that it costs you nothing to be kind. The struggles you face are real and every person you meet has struggles in their life too. Being intentionally kind to others helps them deal with their struggles and makes your own seem more manageable too.

The final sure thing is that 2022 will only be a good as you allow it to be. The attitude you choose to carry with you each day will either make everything better or worse. And here’s some great news: your attitude is completely your choice. In his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl described the last of the human freedoms as the ability to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance. Before you dismiss that as Pollyanna thinking you should know that Viktor Frankl lived a part of his life in the worst circumstances humans have ever found themselves in. Yet he never allowed anyone or anything to rob him of that precious choice. 

When you choose to have a positive attitude every single part of your life will be better. But you must make that conscious choice on a daily basis. The fastest way to building a better life is to build a better you. 

The better your attitude the better you will be!