Do you ever tell a lie? Be careful with your answer because research shows that the average person lies 7 times a day. 7 times!
That seems like a lot to me. I’m certain I don’t lie 7 times a day… well pretty certain. I guess it depends on how you define a lie. I mean if you tell someone something that isn’t true to protect them then that’s not a lie is it?
Telling someone something that isn’t true because they will never be able to prove it wasn’t true, well that isn’t really a lie either.
Truth be told I suppose that under the right circumstances we can convince ourselves that if there is even a smidgin of truth to what we say then we are being honest and above board.
Integrity and honesty tell a different story. The story they tell is much more black and white. Integrity and honesty says that if what we say isn’t the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then it’s a lie. Pretty simple.
We lie 7 times a day. Some are kind of big lies, most are really little. Most do little or no harm to others and “shading” the truth just makes many of life’s circumstances a little easier to deal with.
There is however a lie that is very damaging. Others may never discover the lie and yet they are likely to suffer because of it. No one may call you on the lie yet you WILL suffer for telling it.
It’s the lie we tell when we tell ourselves or others that “I can’t.”
“I can’t” is a lie and it’s a whopper! It instantly degrades your self-confidence and morale. It greatly limits the amount of risk you’re willing to accept in your attempt to succeed.
It causes others to possibly think less of you and some judgmental people may even think they are better than you.
When you tell yourself that “you can’t” you also provide yourself with an excuse to not even try. When you don’t even try your self esteem plummets even further and the next “I can’t” comes even easier than the last.
So here’s a truth you must always remember: You can! You can and you should. Never tell yourself you can’t and never, never, never, let someone else tell you that you can’t succeed either. The sad fact is that some people who tell you that you can’t succeed simply hope that you won’t succeed. They would prefer that you stay down at their level.
Stay away from the “I can’t” lie no matter what it takes. Surround yourself with “I can” people and do and say the things that they do and say.
You are in control of your own success, but you must be honest with yourself. You can succeed, you just have to be willing to push past whatever obstacles get in your way.
Are you honest enough with yourself to do that?
Steve,
Our society seems to do a better job of teaching, and reinforcing limitations than it does creating an atmosphere where people can reach their true potential. People who think they can’t do something are letting their fears, which they have been taught, get the best of them. The end result is these people go through life never experiencing the joy of achieving their true purpose and society misses out on what they had to offer. As Shakespeare wrote, “Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
Great comment, we are “taught” that we can’t and we allow people around us to re-enforce it on a regular basis. It’s why we need to surround ourselves with “can do” attitudes and catch their attitudes and beliefs from them.
Steve, Fascinating and you may be interested in Dan Ariely’s insights about how we can reduce the temptation to lie or cheat. I wrote about some of them here http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2013/01/13/how-lance-helps-us-avoid-our-temptation-to-lie/