I’ve known many a person who claims to having a poor memory. They use that as an excuse for not remembering the names of people they’ve recently met. Then you ask them about an event from their childhood and they have amazing recall. They can tell who was present, what the weather was like, what they were wearing, what others were wearing, all kinds of amazing details. From an event that took place years and years ago. That’s because the event made an impression on them.

The reality is that very few people have a poor memory, even when it comes to names. What they do have is poor listening skills. The most likely reason, by far, that they can’t remember someone’s name after just meeting them is that they didn’t hear it to begin with.

They were too busy thinking about what they were going to say. They were also too busy forming an “instant opinion” about the person. The only thing we should be busy doing when first meeting someone is focusing on listening to them, especially when they tell us their name.

Remembering names of people you’ve just met can be challenging, but there are several techniques that can help make it easier:

Pay Attention and Be Present: When you first hear the name, focus on it. Make a conscious effort to listen and remember.

Repeat the Name: Use the person’s name immediately in conversation. For example, “Nice to meet you, John.” Try to use the name several times during the conversation.

Association: Associate the name with a mental image or something familiar. For example, if you meet someone named Rose, you might picture a rose flower.

Ask for the Spelling or Meaning: If the name is uncommon, ask how it’s spelled or if it has a particular meaning. This can create a deeper connection and make it more memorable.

Write It Down: If possible, jot down the name soon after meeting the person. Writing helps reinforce memory.

Visualize the Name: Visualize the person’s name written on their forehead. This mental image can help solidify the name in your memory.

Use Mnemonics: Create a mnemonic device or a rhyme to help remember the name. For example, “Jack who likes to pack.”

Link to Someone You Know: Connect the new person’s name with someone you already know with the same name. For example, “Sarah, like my cousin Sarah.”

Engage in Conversation: Engage the person in a meaningful conversation. The more you talk to them, the more likely you are to remember their name.

Introduce Them to Others: Introduce the person to someone else you know. This forces you to recall and use the name again.

These techniques have been proven to help people remember names. If…if they really want to. Early in my career with the Dale Carnegie organization, I met a man named George. He would attend a meeting with 40-50 people, and after meeting each one, he knew everyone’s name. 12 months later, when attending the same meeting with the same attendees, he still knew all their names. That was amazing to me. So I asked George what his secret was.

It wasn’t his intent, but his sincere answer embarrassed me. He said there was no secret. He simply said that remembering names was important to him, so he worked hard at it. It was then that I realized that not only did I not work hard at it, I didn’t really work at it period.

I’ve worked on that through the years and I’m a ton better at it now. Not as good as George was, but maybe someday. The ability to remember names is one of the most powerful human relations skills you can possess. If you’re interested in improving in this area, then these techniques can help you over time.

But you gotta want it or you’ll never have it.