It’s a really crappy feeling we all know at one time or another: the realization that your efforts, kindness, or presence are being treated as the default rather than appreciated as the gift they are. Being taken for granted can be exhausting, frustrating, and deeply hurtful, whether it’s by a partner, family member, friend, or even a colleague or boss. For me personally, being taken for granted by anyone just pisses me off.
The good news? YOU have the power to change this dynamic. It starts with recognizing your worth and taking active steps to shift the balance. Here’s a practical guide on how to reclaim your value and put an end to being taken for granted.
Recognize the Signs and Acknowledge the Hurt
Before you can change the situation, you need to fully acknowledge it. Being taken for granted often looks like this:
Zero or minimal thanks: Your contributions are expected, not appreciated.
A lack of reciprocity: You’re always the one giving, reaching out, or initiating plans.
Only being called upon for favors: You feel like a resource, not a person.
Disregard for your time or needs: Your boundaries are consistently ignored.
Action Step: Don’t minimize your feelings. Tell yourself, “My feelings are valid, and I deserve respect and appreciation.” This mental shift is the foundation for everything else.
Communicate, Don’t Accuse
Many people who take others for granted aren’t doing it out of malice—they’ve simply fallen into a comfortable, unconscious routine. A calm, non-accusatory conversation can be a powerful first step.
Use “I” statements: Focus on how you feel, not on what they did wrong.
Instead of: “You never thank me for anything.”
Try: “I’ve been feeling unappreciated lately when I do X, Y, and Z. It would mean a lot to me if you could occasionally acknowledge my efforts.”
Be specific: Give clear examples of what makes you feel unappreciated and what specific changes you want to see.
Establish and Enforce Boundaries
Boundaries are the bedrock of respect. If you don’t clearly define where your responsibilities end and your personal time begins, people will naturally fill that void.
Say “No” (and mean it): You don’t have to agree to every request, favor, or social invitation. Start small. Decline a minor request without over-explaining.
Don’t over-function: If you find yourself consistently picking up the slack for others (e.g., always doing the chores, planning every event, managing a colleague’s mistakes), stop. Allow them the space to step up and own their responsibilities.
Guard your time: If you are used to being available 24/7, start setting limits. For example, “I can help with that project, but only until 5 PM today,” or “I’m busy this weekend, but I’m free to chat on Tuesday.”
Create Space and Shift the Focus
When you’re consistently available and putting others’ needs first, you create a dynamic where your efforts are expected. Stepping back is the most immediate way to disrupt this pattern.
Reduce your efforts: Do less for the person or people who are taking you for granted. Let the chore go undone, don’t initiate the weekend plan, or wait for them to contact you first.
Focus on yourself: Redirect the energy you spend on others back into your own life. Invest in a hobby, spend time with people who do appreciate you, or simply enjoy some quality solitude. When your life is full and vibrant outside of that relationship, you are less likely to tolerate being treated poorly within it.
Be Prepared for Pushback
When you change the rules of a relationship, the other party often resists. They may become confused, annoyed, or even try to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries.
Stay strong and stick to your boundaries. Remember: Your discomfort is not a reason to abandon your self-respect. If someone truly values you, they will eventually adjust and respect the new dynamic. If they refuse and the situation worsens, you may need to reassess the long-term health and benefits of that relationship and adjust accordingly.
Final Thought: You are the Standard
You teach people how to treat you. By drawing a line and demanding to be valued, you are not being selfish; you are being self-respecting. The people who truly belong in your life will meet you at that level.
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But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that everything seems to set us off. A tough critique at work, a spat with a friend, a never-ending to-do list—suddenly, the world can feel like it’s crashing down. But the truth is, most of what stresses us out are just small pieces of a much larger, more complex puzzle.
Learning how to keep things in perspective isn’t about ignoring problems; it’s about developing a mindset that prevents minor setbacks from hijacking your overall well-being.
I’m a big believer in living in what Dale Carnegie called, “Day-Tight Compartments.” Living each day in its own 24 hours. That means not allowing yesterday’s “stuff” to impact today’s efforts. It means not over-worrying about tomorrow’s events at the cost of today’s happiness and productivity.
Living in Day-Tight Compartments is the superpower that lets you navigate storms without sinking your entire ship.
Here are a few practical strategies you can use to zoom out and regain your footing when life feels too big and your Day-Tight Compartment starts to get a little leaky.
1. The 10/10/10 Rule
When you’re facing a stressful decision or a major upset, try asking yourself these three simple questions:
How will I feel about this in 10 minutes? (Immediate impact)
How will I feel about this in 10 months? (Mid-term impact)
How will I feel about this in 10 years? (Long-term impact)
Most of the things that cause immediate distress—that awkward email, a spilled coffee, a missed deadline—will have zero emotional weight in 10 months or 10 years. This exercise instantly shifts your focus from the current drama to the long-term reality, often shrinking the problem down to its true, manageable size.
2. The “Worst-Case Scenario” Check
Our minds are masters of catastrophizing. When we feel anxious, we often jump straight to the most dramatic, scary outcomes without checking the facts.
Next time you feel a worry spiraling, take a moment to define the absolute worst-case scenario. Write it down. Then, ask yourself two more questions:
How likely is this truly to happen? (Be honest, not fearful.)
If it did happen, what is the absolute minimum I could do to recover?
By confronting the “worst” and creating a fallback plan, you strip away its power. You realize that even if the worst happens, you would be okay, and you have the resourcefulness to handle it. You move from panic to planning. This will take a ton of weight off your shoulders.
3. Embrace the “Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence”
This concept, popularized by Stephen Covey, is critical for reducing stress over things you cannot control.
Circle of Concern: Everything you worry about—the economy, the weather, what others think of you, a coworker’s bad mood.
Circle of Influence: The things you can actually do something about—your effort, your attitude, your boundaries, and how you spend your time.
When stress hits, identify what part of the problem falls into your Circle of Influence. Don’t waste energy fretting over the weather (Concern); focus on bringing an umbrella (Influence). By dedicating your time and energy only to what you can control, you become more effective and less burdened.
4. Practice Gratitude Daily
It sounds almost silly, but a consistent gratitude practice is one of the most powerful tools for perspective. When you focus on what you lack or what went wrong, you narrow your vision. Gratitude forces you to widen it.
Take three minutes every morning or evening to list three specific things you are genuinely grateful for. It could be your morning coffee, a good night’s sleep, or the support of a friend.
This simple act reminds you that even on a bad day, your life is filled with existing good things—and the minor setback you’re currently facing doesn’t invalidate any of them. It puts your troubles into a richer, fuller context, which tends to shrink them.
A Final Thought: You Are More Than Your Problems
Remember that you are not your immediate circumstances. Hope is the understanding that our current circumstances are very unlikely to be our permanent circumstances. A bad day is a single data point, not a complete picture of your life. That means we always have hope. When you feel trapped by a current challenge, step back, breathe, and use one of these tools to zoom out.
The ability to keep things in perspective isn’t a trait you’re born with; it’s a skill you build, day by day, worry by worry. Start practicing today, and watch how much smaller and easier to manage your challenges become.
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But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
It’s easy to get stuck in the floaty trap. You know the one, the one that feels like you’re just floating along, letting life happen to you instead of making things happen yourself.
It can be a pretty comfortable feeling until it’s not. Eventually, we get frustrated with floating because, while it feels pretty good, we have little to no control over where we end up.
When we “float” we are subject to the whims of other people and circumstances that we’ve chosen to not control. Floating is a pretty common feeling, and it is easy to stay there way longer than you should. But floating does not have to be a permanent condition.
YOU can take control of your life!
Taking control of your life is about making a conscious decision to be the driver, not the passenger in your life’s journey. It’s about being intentional with your choices and actions, big and small.
Here’s how to start taking control of your life.
Define What “Control” Means to You
First, you need to understand what taking control looks like for you personally. It’s absolutely not the same for everyone. When you get married, for instance, you are willingly and lovingly giving up at least some control to your partner.
So for you, is control about your career? Your health? Your relationships? Your finances? It’s likely a combination of these things and maybe more, but identifying the key areas that feel out of whack is the first step. Grab a notebook, iPad, or whatever, and jot down the parts of your life that feel most chaotic or uncontrolled. This isn’t about judgment; it’s about clarity.
Set Intentional Goals
Once you’ve identified the areas you want to work on, it’s time to set some goals. These shouldn’t be vague wishes. A good goal is SMART:
• Specific: What exactly do you want to achieve?
• Measurable: How will you track your progress?
• Achievable: Is this goal realistic for you right now?
• Relevant: Does this goal align with your values and what you want for your life?
• Time-bound: When do you want to achieve this by?
For example, instead of “I want to get healthy,” try “I will walk for 30 minutes three times a week for the next month.”
Embrace Small Actions
The idea of “taking control” can feel overwhelming. The key is to start small. A big change is just a series of small, consistent actions. If your goal is to save more money, start by packing your lunch once a week instead of buying it. If you want to learn a new skill, commit to 15 minutes of practice a day. These small wins build momentum and confidence, proving to yourself that you are capable of making a change.
Practice Self-Awareness
One of the most powerful tools for taking control is self-awareness. It’s about understanding your habits, triggers, and emotions. Why do you procrastinate? What makes you feel stressed? What are you truly passionate about? The more you understand yourself, the better you can navigate your life’s challenges. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking a few minutes each day to reflect can help you develop this awareness.
Take Responsibility (Without Blame)
This is a tough one, but it’s essential. Taking control means taking responsibility for your choices, ALL your choices, and their outcomes. This is not about blaming yourself for past mistakes. Instead, it’s about acknowledging your role in your current situation. For example, if you’re not happy with your job, instead of blaming your boss or the company, ask yourself, “What can I do to change this situation?” Maybe it’s updating your resume, networking, or taking a course to learn new skills. This shift in perspective is incredibly empowering.
Taking control of your life isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continuous practice. It’s about being proactive, not reactive. By defining your goals, starting with small actions, practicing self-awareness, and taking responsibility, you can begin to steer your life in the direction you want to go.
Things still will not always go your way, but YOU have the power to change directions as many times as are required to put yourself exactly where you want to be. Now that’s control!
So, where will you start?
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But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
I’m a little surprised by how often I’m asked by people how to ask for a raise. I don’t normally answer a question with a question, but in this circumstance, I do it anyway. The question I ask is, “Do you deserve a raise?”
I get a variety of answers to that question. Many people say, “well, I need one.” This is where the frustration begins to set in for them. Because my reply is that if I’m your employer, I could care less that you think you need a raise.
I then ask them to explain to me, with a pretty good level of specificity, why they deserve a raise. I want them to tell me what they have done to make themselves more valuable to their employer.
It is my belief that no one is entitled to a raise they didn’t earn just because they have been with a company for a certain period of time.
Consistently increasing the value you bring to your employer is the fastest way to earn a raise. Increasing your value helps you stand out from your colleagues and coworkers. Standing out as a valuable employee not only helps you earn a raise, it can open doors to career growth, job security, and personal fulfillment. Becoming indispensable to your employer isn’t about working harder—it’s about working smarter, aligning your efforts with the company’s goals, and consistently demonstrating your worth.
Here’s a practical guide to increasing your value at work, with actionable steps you can start implementing today.
Understand Your Company’s Goals and Priorities
To be truly valuable, you need to align your work with what matters most to your employer. Take time to understand your company’s mission, vision, and current objectives. Are they focused on increasing revenue, improving customer satisfaction, or streamlining operations? Knowing this helps you prioritize tasks that directly contribute to those goals.
Actionable Steps:
Ask questions: In team meetings or one-on-ones, inquire about the company’s short- and long-term priorities.
Read up: Review company reports, strategic plans, or public communications (e.g., investor updates or press releases) to grasp the bigger picture.
Align your work: Frame your contributions in terms of how they support key objectives. For example, if customer retention is a priority, focus on delivering exceptional service or suggesting process improvements.
Example: If your company is pushing for digital transformation, volunteer to learn a new tool or platform that supports that initiative, like mastering a CRM system or analyzing data to improve decision-making.
Develop In-Demand Skills
Employers value employees who bring expertise that is relevant to the company’s needs. Stay ahead by continuously developing skills that are in demand, both within your role and in the broader industry. This could mean technical skills (e.g., data analysis, coding) or soft skills (e.g., communication, leadership).
Actionable Steps:
Identify skill gaps: Look at job descriptions for roles similar to yours or ask your manager which skills would make you more effective.
Invest in learning: Take online courses (platforms like Coursera, LinkedIn Learning, or Udemy are great), attend workshops, or earn certifications relevant to your field.
Apply your skills: Find opportunities to use your new skills on the job, whether through a special project or by improving an existing process.
Example: If your company uses data to drive decisions, learning basic Excel functions or a tool like Tableau can make you a go-to person for insights, increasing your value.
Take Initiative and Solve Problems
Valuable employees don’t wait for instructions—they proactively identify challenges and propose solutions. Being a problem-solver shows you are invested in the company’s success and can be trusted to handle responsibilities.
Actionable Steps:
Spot inefficiencies: Look for processes, tools, or workflows that could be improved and suggest actionable fixes.
Volunteer for challenges: Offer to lead a project, tackle a tough client issue, or streamline a task that others avoid.
Think ahead: Anticipate potential roadblocks in your team’s work and propose ways to address them before they become problems.
Example: If your team struggles with meeting deadlines due to poor task tracking, propose adopting a project management tool like Trello, or Asana and offer to set it up.
Build Strong Relationships
Your value isn’t just about what you do but how you work with others. Building strong relationships with colleagues, managers, and stakeholders fosters collaboration and makes you a trusted team member.
Actionable Steps:
Communicate effectively: Be clear, concise, and respectful in emails, meetings, and conversations.
Support your team: Offer help to colleagues, share credit for successes, and foster a positive work environment.
Network internally: Get to know people in other departments to understand their roles and how you can support cross-functional goals.
Example: If a coworker is overwhelmed, offer to take on a small task or share a resource that could help them, building goodwill and strengthening team dynamics.
Deliver Consistent, High-Quality Work
Reliability is a cornerstone of value. Employers prize employees who consistently meet or exceed expectations, deliver on time, and maintain high standards.
Actionable Steps:
Set clear goals: Break down large tasks into manageable steps and track your progress to stay on target.
Pay attention to detail: Double-check your work to avoid errors that could cost time or resources.
Seek feedback: Regularly ask for constructive feedback from your manager or peers to improve your performance.
Example: If you’re tasked with preparing a report, ensure it’s error-free, visually clear, and submitted early, demonstrating reliability and professionalism.
Be Adaptable and Embrace Change
Workplaces evolve—new technologies, strategies, or market conditions can shift priorities overnight. Employees who adapt quickly and embrace change are invaluable because they help the company stay agile.
Actionable Steps:
Stay open-minded: Approach new processes or tools with curiosity rather than resistance.
Learn quickly: Take the lead in mastering new systems or workflows, and share your knowledge with others.
Show resilience: Handle setbacks or unexpected changes with a positive attitude and focus on solutions.
Example: If your company adopts a new software platform, take the initiative to learn it early and help train your team, positioning yourself as a resource.
Communicate Your Value
It’s not enough to do great work—you need to make sure your contributions are visible (without being boastful). Employers often notice employees who can articulate their impact.
Actionable Steps:
Track your achievements: Keep a record of your accomplishments, such as projects completed, savings generated, or positive feedback received.
Share updates: In performance reviews or check-ins, highlight specific ways you have contributed to team or company goals.
Be proactive in meetings: Share ideas, insights, or progress updates to demonstrate your engagement.
Example: During a performance review, say, “I streamlined our reporting process, which saved the team 5 hours a week and improved data accuracy by 20%,” to quantify your impact.
Stay Positive and Professional
A positive attitude and professional demeanor make you a pleasure to work with, which enhances your value. Employers appreciate employees who inspire others and maintain composure under pressure.
Actionable Steps:
Stay solution-focused: Even when challenges arise, focus on what can be done rather than dwell on problems.
Show gratitude: Acknowledge others’ contributions and express appreciation for opportunities.
Handle conflict gracefully: Address disagreements calmly and constructively to maintain a positive work environment.
Example: If a project hits a snag, instead of complaining, say, “Let’s brainstorm a few ways to get this back on track,” showing leadership and optimism.
Mentor and Support Others
Helping your colleagues grow not only strengthens the team but also positions you as a leader, even if you’re not in a formal leadership role. Employers value employees who elevate those around them.
Actionable Steps:
Share knowledge: Offer to train a new hire or share tips with a struggling colleague.
Be a team player: Celebrate others’ successes and contribute to a collaborative culture.
Lead by example: Model the behaviors and work ethic you want to see in others.
Example: If a new team member is struggling with a task, spend 15 minutes walking them through it or sharing a helpful resource, showing you’re invested in the team’s success.
Stay Committed to Growth
Valuable employees never stop growing. Commit to continuous self-improvement, both in your role and as a professional, to stay relevant and impactful.
Actionable Steps:
Set personal goals: Identify one or two areas for growth each quarter, such as improving public speaking or mastering a new tool.
Seek mentorship: Connect with a mentor or manager who can guide your career development.
Stay curious: Read industry blogs, attend webinars, or follow thought leaders on platforms like X to stay informed about trends.
Example: Follow industry leaders on X to learn about emerging trends in your field, then share a relevant insight with your team to spark discussion.
Final Thoughts
Being more valuable to your employer is about aligning your efforts with their goals, continuously improving yourself, and making a positive impact on your team and organization. By taking initiative, building skills, and developing strong relationships, you’ll not only increase your worth but also create a more rewarding work experience for yourself.
Start small—pick one or two of these steps to focus on this week. Over time, these efforts will compound, making you an indispensable asset to your employer and setting you up for long-term career success.
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Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
I was incredibly fortunate to work with a great company in an incredible industry for many years. To be honest, there were many times it was hard to believe I was getting paid to do what I was doing. Standing on the first tee of the Old Course at St. Andrews Links, or sitting in the first row behind home plate in Yankee Stadium, touring NFL stadiums or having lunch at Alfredo alla Scrofa in Rome, it was all in a day’s work.
Obviously it wasn’t all fun and games; at times it was very challenging work, with long, long days and a bunch of pressure packed in. But I never lost sight of the fact that most people had the challenges of my job without the opportunities that came with mine.
I never really felt like I needed to “get away” or take time off. When I did use vacation time, it was more for my family than for me. But even then, I never fully disconnected; I liked my work, I liked the people I worked with, and didn’t mind answering a question or two when I was “off the clock.”
But I’ve learned through the years just how important AND productive it can be to truly take time away from work. Completely away. Almost like the job didn’t exist.
That can be hard to do in a business world where hustle culture often glorifies constant productivity. Taking time away from work can feel like a luxury you can’t afford. It can seem like a major risk to your career goals. Yet, stepping back from the daily grind is not just a treat—it’s essential for your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Time away from work allows you to recharge, gain perspective, and ultimately return to your tasks with renewed energy and creativity.
Here’s why prioritizing time off is a necessity, not an indulgence.
Boosting Mental Health and Reducing Burnout
Constant work without breaks can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Research estimates that overwork contributes to hundreds of thousands of deaths annually from heart disease and stroke. Time away from work—whether it’s a short weekend getaway, a daily evening ritual, or a longer vacation—gives your brain a chance to rest.
It’s like hitting the reset button, allowing you to process stress, regulate emotions, and return with a clearer mind. Activities like spending time outdoors, working out, or simply unplugging from emails can significantly lower cortisol levels, fostering mental resilience.
Enhancing Productivity and Creativity
It might sound counterintuitive, but stepping away from work can actually make you better at it. Our brains aren’t designed for nonstop focus. Research from the University of Illinois suggests that taking breaks improves cognitive function and sustains concentration. Ever notice how a great idea pops into your head while you’re showering or hiking? That’s because giving your mind space to wander sparks creativity. Time off allows your brain to make new connections, solve problems subconsciously, and approach tasks with fresh perspectives.
Strengthening Relationships
Work often competes with the time we spend with loved ones. Neglecting personal relationships can lead to feelings of isolation and weaken our support systems. Time away from work lets you nurture connections with family and friends, whether it’s through shared meals, meaningful conversations, or simply being present. These moments not only recharge you emotionally but also remind you of what truly matters, grounding you in purpose beyond your job.
Improving Physical Health
Sitting at a desk for hours or staring at screens can take a toll on your body. Prolonged work without breaks is linked to issues like back pain, eye strain, and weakened immunity. Time off encourages movement—whether it’s a walk, a yoga session, or a dance class—which boosts cardiovascular health, improves sleep, and increases energy levels. Even a short daily break to stretch or breathe deeply can counteract the physical strain of a sedentary workday.
Gaining Perspective and Purpose
When you’re caught in the work treadmill, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Time away gives you space to reflect on your goals, values, and what truly fulfills you. It’s an opportunity to ask: Am I happy with my work-life balance? Is my career aligning with my passions? Whether it’s through journaling, traveling, or simply sitting quietly, stepping back helps you realign with your purpose and make intentional choices about your future.
How to Make Time Off Count
Not all time away is created equal. To maximize its benefits, be intentional:
Unplug Completely: Set boundaries by turning off work notifications. An “out of office” auto-reply can work wonders.
Engage in Fun Activities: Do things that genuinely recharge you, whether it’s reading, cooking, or exploring a new hobby.
Start Small: If a vacation isn’t feasible, try micro-breaks—10 minutes of relaxing or a lunch break away from your desk.
Plan Ahead: Schedule time off in advance to ensure it happens, and communicate your intentions with your employer or team.
A Cultural Shift
Employers also play a role in normalizing time away. Companies that encourage breaks, offer flexible schedules, and provide adequate vacation time see higher employee satisfaction and retention. In countries like Finland and Denmark, where work-life balance is prioritized, workers report higher happiness and productivity. It’s a reminder that time off isn’t a reward to be earned—it’s a right that benefits both individuals and organizations.
Final Thoughts
Taking time away from work isn’t about escaping responsibility; it’s about embracing a fuller, healthier life. It’s the pause that allows you to come back stronger, sharper, and more connected to yourself and others. So, whether it’s a long vacation or a quiet evening without your laptop, give yourself permission to step away. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you; your family and friends will thank you too—and your work will likely benefit as well.
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Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
One of the most common excuses for not planning is that “the plans never work out anyway.” When I hear that from someone, I don’t worry about their inability to plan; I worry about their inadequacies when it comes to adapting their plan to a different set of circumstances.
Lacking the ability to adapt kills more potential opportunities than the lack of a plan, the lack of funds, or the lack of help. Don’t get me wrong, planning is very important; the process of developing a plan is even more important than the plan itself. As President Eisenhower said, “no plan survives first contact with the enemy; you must be able to adjust.”
In a world where change is truly the only constant, adaptability is a superpower. Whether it’s navigating a career change, embracing new technologies, or adjusting to unexpected life events, being adaptable allows you to thrive in uncertainty.
But adaptability isn’t just about surviving change—it’s about embracing it, learning from it, and using it to grow. Here’s a guide on how to develop adaptability and flourish in an ever-evolving landscape.
Understanding Adaptability
Adaptability is the ability to adjust your thoughts, behaviors, and actions in response to new circumstances. It’s a blend of resilience, flexibility, and open-mindedness. Unlike rigidity, which can lead to stress and stagnation, adaptability empowers you to pivot when plans go awry, seize new opportunities, and maintain balance no matter what life throws your way. The good news? It’s a skill you can develop with intentional practice.
Cultivate a Growth Mindset
At the heart of adaptability lies a growth mindset—the belief that you can learn, improve, and evolve through effort and experience. People with a growth mindset see challenges as opportunities to grow rather than insurmountable obstacles. To foster this mindset:
Reframe setbacks: Instead of viewing failures as dead ends, treat them as learning experiences. Ask yourself, “What can I take away from this?” For example, if a project at work doesn’t go as planned, analyze what went wrong and how you can improve next time.
Embrace curiosity: Stay open to new ideas and perspectives. Read books outside your usual genre, listen to podcasts on unfamiliar topics, or engage in conversations with people who think differently.
Celebrate effort over outcome: Focus on the process of learning rather than immediate success. This builds resilience and encourages you to keep trying, even when things don’t go as expected.
Build Emotional Resilience
Adaptability often requires managing emotions during uncertainty. Emotional resilience helps you stay calm and focused when faced with change. Here’s how to strengthen it:
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or journaling can help you stay grounded. For instance, a 5-minute daily meditation can reduce stress and improve your ability to respond thoughtfully to challenges.
Acknowledge your emotions: Change can bring discomfort, fear, or frustration. Instead of suppressing these feelings, name them. Recognizing “I’m feeling anxious about this new role” allows you to address the emotion constructively.
Develop a support system: Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends or colleagues can provide perspective and reduce the emotional weight of change.
Stay Flexible in Your Approach
Being adaptable means letting go of the need to control every outcome. Flexibility allows you to pivot when circumstances shift. To enhance flexibility:
Let go of perfectionism: Striving for perfection can make you resistant to change because it creates rigid expectations. Instead, aim for progress. If a plan fails, adjust and move forward rather than dwell on what didn’t work.
Experiment with new methods: If your usual routine isn’t working, try a different approach. For example, if your traditional study methods aren’t helping you learn a new skill, explore online courses, group discussions, or hands-on practice.
Practice scenario planning: Anticipate potential changes and prepare multiple responses. For instance, if you’re launching a business, consider “what if” scenarios like market shifts or supply chain issues, and brainstorm solutions in advance.
Sharpen Your Problem-Solving Skills
Adaptability often involves finding creative solutions to unexpected problems. Strengthening your problem-solving abilities can make you more agile in dynamic situations.
Break problems into smaller parts: When faced with a challenge, divide it into manageable steps. This makes overwhelming situations feel less daunting and helps you focus on actionable solutions.
Seek diverse perspectives: Collaborate with others to gain fresh insights. A colleague or mentor might see a solution you hadn’t considered.
Learn from past experiences: Reflect on times when you successfully navigated change. What strategies worked? For example, if you adapted to new software at work, recall how you broke the learning curve into small, daily tasks.
Embrace Lifelong Learning
In a rapidly changing world, staying adaptable requires continuous learning. Whether it’s mastering new technology or acquiring soft skills, staying curious keeps you relevant.
Stay updated on trends: Follow industry news, attend webinars, or take online courses to keep your skills current. Platforms like Coursera or LinkedIn Learning offer accessible ways to learn.
Develop transferable skills: Skills like communication, critical thinking, and collaboration are valuable across contexts. For instance, improving your public speaking can benefit both your career and personal life.
Be open to feedback: Constructive criticism helps you identify areas for growth. Seek feedback from peers or supervisors, and use it to refine your approach.
Build Confidence in Uncertainty
Adaptability thrives when you trust your ability to handle the unknown. Building confidence in uncertain situations takes practice.
Start small: Take on small challenges that push you out of your comfort zone, like trying a new hobby or speaking up in a meeting. These experiences build your tolerance for uncertainty.
Visualize success: Before tackling a new situation, imagine yourself handling it well. Visualization can reduce anxiety and boost confidence.
Reflect on past adaptability: Remind yourself of times you successfully adapted. This reinforces your ability to navigate future changes.
Final Thoughts
Becoming more adaptable is a journey, not a destination. It’s about building habits that allow you to face change with confidence and curiosity. By cultivating a growth mindset, staying emotionally resilient, embracing flexibility, sharpening problem-solving skills, committing to lifelong learning, building confidence, and prioritizing well-being, you can transform uncertainty into opportunity.
Start small: pick one or two strategies from this guide and apply them to a current challenge. Over time, you’ll notice that change feels less like a threat and more like a chance to grow. In a world that’s constantly shifting, adaptability isn’t just a skill—it’s a way of life that empowers you to thrive, no matter what comes next.
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Research shows that people frequently give up just moments before they would have achieved the success they had been working for. I remember a restaurant in Minneapolis that went out of business in 2014. They had been a business for a while, 99 years and 9 months to be exact. Just three months more and they would have been in business for 100 years. It would have been an amazing accomplishment.
I was so surprised by this news that I went to talk with the owners to find out why they couldn’t persevere for just a few more months. They actually had very sound and well-grounded business reasons for their decision. So many food trucks had popped up in their neighborhood that they just couldn’t make money anymore. They felt like they were throwing good money after bad.
While it was a logical decision, a part of me still felt like, screw the money, go for 100 years.
But they were smart people; they had persevered for over 99 years. Instead of making the emotional decision that I would have made, they made a good business decision. Lots of people are like me; we make emotional decisions, and often, those decisions prevent us from succeeding when success is literally right around the corner.
We, almost all of us at times, lack perseverance.
Perseverance is the quiet force that turns dreams into reality. It’s the grit that keeps us moving forward when obstacles loom large, the resolve that pushes us to rise after every fall, and the unwavering commitment to our goals despite setbacks. In a world that often celebrates instant success, perseverance reminds us that true achievement is a marathon, not a sprint. This blog post explores why perseverance matters, how it shapes success, and practical ways to cultivate it in our lives.
Why Perseverance Matters
At its core, perseverance is about staying the course when things get tough. Life is rarely a straight path to success—whether you’re chasing a career goal, building a business, or working on personal growth, challenges are inevitable. Perseverance is what separates those who succeed from those who give up. It’s the difference between a half-finished novel and a published book, or a failed startup and a thriving company.
Consider the story of Thomas Edison, who famously conducted thousands of experiments before perfecting the light bulb. Each failure was a lesson, not a defeat. Or think of J.K. Rowling, who faced countless rejections before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon. These icons didn’t possess superhuman talent or luck—they had perseverance. They kept going, refining their craft, learning from mistakes, and refusing to let setbacks define them.
Perseverance isn’t just about grand achievements. It’s also the daily grind: the student who studies through exhaustion, the athlete who trains despite injury, or the parent who balances work and family through sheer determination. It’s the ability to keep showing up, day after day, even when the results aren’t immediate.
The Science Behind Perseverance
Research backs up the power of perseverance. Psychologist Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, argues that grit—a combination of passion and perseverance—is a stronger predictor of success than talent or IQ. Her studies show that individuals who persist through challenges, maintain long-term goals, and stay committed despite adversity are more likely to achieve their ambitions.
Neuroscience also sheds light on why perseverance works. When we push through difficulties, our brains adapt, strengthening neural pathways associated with resilience and problem-solving. This process, known as neuroplasticity, means that perseverance not only helps us achieve specific goals but also makes us better equipped to handle future challenges. Each time we choose to keep going, we’re training our brains to thrive under pressure.
How Perseverance Shapes Success
1. It Builds Resilience: Perseverance teaches us to bounce back from failure. Each setback becomes a stepping stone, helping us develop the emotional strength to face future hurdles.
2. It Fosters Growth: Challenges force us to learn, adapt, and improve. Perseverance ensures we don’t shy away from the discomfort of growth, whether it’s mastering a new skill or overcoming personal limitations.
3. It Cultivates Confidence: Every small victory earned through persistence boosts self-belief. Over time, these wins compound, creating a sense of capability that fuels further effort.
4. It Inspires Others: Perseverance is contagious. When we push through adversity, we show others what’s possible, motivating them to pursue their own goals with tenacity.
Cultivating Perseverance in Your Life
While some people may seem naturally gritty, perseverance is a skill that can be developed. Here are practical ways to harness its power:
1. Set Clear Goals: Define what you’re working toward and why it matters. A strong sense of purpose fuels perseverance. Break big goals into smaller, manageable steps to maintain momentum.
2. Embrace Failure as Feedback: Reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn. Ask yourself, “What can I do differently next time?” instead of dwelling on what went wrong.
3. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who encourage and challenge you. A mentor, friend, or community can provide perspective and motivation when the going gets tough.
4. Practice Self-Discipline: Perseverance often requires doing what is necessary, even when you do not feel like it. Create routines, eliminate distractions, and focus on consistent effort over time.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge progress, no matter how small. Recognizing milestones keeps you motivated and reminds you that every step forward counts.
6. Stay Flexible: Perseverance doesn’t mean stubbornly sticking to one path. Be willing to pivot, adapt, and find new ways to approach your goals when circumstances change.
7. Take Care of Yourself: Physical and mental well-being are crucial for sustained effort. Prioritize sleep, exercise, and stress management to maintain the energy needed to persevere.
Real-Life Examples of Perseverance
To illustrate the power of perseverance, let’s look at a well-known modern example:
Elon Musk: Before SpaceX and Tesla became household names, Musk faced near bankruptcy, technical failures, and intense criticism. His relentless pursuit of his vision—despite multiple rocket explosions and financial struggles—led to groundbreaking innovations in space travel and electric vehicles.
Everyday Heroes: Think of the single parent working two jobs to provide for their family, or the small business owner navigating economic uncertainty. These unsung stories of perseverance remind us that grit exists in all walks of life.
Overcoming the Temptation to Quit
There will be moments when giving up feels like the easier option. Doubt, fatigue, and frustration can erode even the strongest resolve. When this happens, remind yourself why you started. Revisit your goals, reflect on how far you’ve come, and focus on the next small step. Sometimes, perseverance means simply refusing to quit today.
It’s also worth noting that perseverance doesn’t mean blindly pushing forward at all costs. Knowing when to rest, reassess, or seek help is just as important as staying the course. Perseverance is about balance—knowing when to grind and when to pivot.
The Ripple Effect of Perseverance
Perseverance doesn’t just transform individual lives; it creates a ripple effect. When you persevere, you inspire others to do the same. Your determination can motivate a colleague to tackle a tough project, encourage a friend to pursue their passion, or show your children the value of hard work. In a world full of challenges, perseverance is a beacon of hope, proving that progress is possible even in the face of adversity.
Final Thoughts
The power of perseverance lies in its ability to transform obstacles into opportunities, failures into lessons, and dreams into reality. It’s not about being the smartest, the strongest, or the luckiest—it’s about showing up, day after day, with the courage to keep going. By setting clear goals, embracing setbacks, and nurturing resilience, we can all harness the strength of perseverance to achieve our greatest aspirations.
So, the next time you face a challenge, remember: perseverance isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting up one more time than you fall. That’s where the magic happens. Keep going. Keep going. Always keep going.
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Considersupporting my efforts with a gift!
Hey everyone, I’m passionate about sharing insights on life and leadership through my blog. If you’ve found value in my posts and wish to see more content like this, please consider making a donation. Every little bit helps in continuing to provide quality guidance and inspiration.
But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!
