Tag Stress

How to Manage Anxiety

Steve Keating 2 Comments

It’s pretty normal to be anxious at times. That anxiety can even be helpful at times as it pushes us to be our best in challenging situations. Being overly anxious however is different. Being overly anxious can lead to undue stress and have a negative impact on most every aspect of our lives.

Learning to manage our anxiety can often be the difference between success and failure. Better managing our anxiety will absolutely improve our level of happiness and productivity. The better we manage our anxiety level the better our relationships with other people will be. If you find yourself often overly anxious know this fact… you do not need to live your life that way. You may be able to take some specific actions that will enable you to manage your anxiety and perhaps even turn it into a positive part of your life.

Taking control of your anxiety involves a combination of lifestyle changes, self-care practices, and in some cases, professional help. Here are some strategies you can do on your own or with a mentor that may help.

Understand Your Anxiety:

• Educate yourself about anxiety to better understand its nature and triggers.

• Keep a journal to track patterns and identify specific situations that provoke anxiety.

Practice Relaxation Techniques:

• Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and meditation can help calm your mind.

• Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing and then slowly releasing each muscle group.

Regular Exercise:

• Physical activity is known to reduce anxiety by releasing endorphins, which act as natural mood lifters.

• Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

Healthy Lifestyle:

• Prioritize sleep; establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

• Maintain a balanced diet with nutritious foods and limit caffeine and sugar intake.

Limit Stimulants:

• Reduce or eliminate the consumption of stimulants like caffeine, as they can exacerbate anxiety symptoms.

Set Realistic Goals:

• Break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable goals.

• Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

Time Management:

• Organize your time effectively to prevent feeling overwhelmed.

• Prioritize tasks and focus on one thing at a time.

Social Support:

• Share your feelings with friends or family, it’s amazing how sometimes just talking about our anxiety can help reduce it.

• Consider joining a support group or talking to a mental health professional. There is absolutely positively no shame in doing this. I’d even say at times it’s literally heroic. So if you can’t manage your anxiety alone by all means and any means seek help.

• When anxiety persists or significantly interferes with your daily life, that’s your indication it’s time to seek help from a mental health professional.

Self-Compassion:

• Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay not to be perfect.

• Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

• Don’t beat yourself up over anxiety. Everyone feels anxious from time to time, not everyone has the courage to face up to it.

I can’t stress enough that if your anxiety is consistently and negatively affecting parts of your life then you should consider consulting with a healthcare professional. They can give you personalized advice tailored to your specific situation. They’ll provide guidance on the most appropriate strategies and interventions based on your individual needs.

Just remember, you don’t have to live an anxious. You can take action to overcome it.

How to Stop Procrastinating…NOW

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the least productive things we can do is to do something tomorrow that we should have done today. Some people call that procrastinating. I call it a waste. Not only did we likely waste time yesterday when we should have been doing what we finally did today, but we’re very possibly not doing what we should have been doing today because of it.

Procrastinating is one of life’s great stress creators. When we put off tasks that we should be doing it gnaws at us. It frequently steals our joy. It buries our confidence under stress and worry. The most successful people seldom procrastinate, no matter how challenging the task at hand. They just do it!

Overcoming procrastination is a common challenge. Eliminating procrastination from your life will often involve a combination of psychological and practical strategies. If you’re interested in greatly improving your productivity by pushing procrastination out of your life then here are a few ideas you may want to consider…immediately.

Understand the Reasons

• Identify why you are procrastinating. Is it due to fear of failure, lack of motivation, or feeling overwhelmed? Understanding the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.

Set Clear Goals

• Break down your tasks into smaller, more manageable goals. Clear and specific objectives make it easier to focus and take action. The more specific the better because if you allow yourself any “wriggle room” you’re almost certain to use it.

Prioritize Tasks

• Determine the urgency and importance of each task. Focus on high-priority items first to ensure you’re making progress on essential activities. If you’re currently using a “to-do” list burn it now. Destroy it before it destroys any more of your productivity. Turn it into a Prioritized Daily Task List. When you develop the discipline to do the most important tasks first, then procrastination will no longer be a part of your life.

Break Large Tasks into Smaller Steps

• Large projects can be overwhelming. Break them into smaller, more manageable steps, and focus on completing one step at a time.

Create a Schedule

• Develop a daily or weekly schedule to allocate specific time slots for your tasks. Set realistic deadlines and stick to them as closely as possible. Make a decision that YOU will be the person who controls your calendar, not other people, not circumstances or uncontrollable events. YOU and you alone.

Use Time Management Techniques

• Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique (working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between) can help maintain your focus and increase productivity.

Remove Distractions

• Identify and eliminate distractions from your workspace. Turn off notifications, close unnecessary tabs, and create an environment conducive to concentration. It is possible you may need to do the unthinkable and leave your phone in a different room. Or use the nuclear option and actually turn it off.

Visualize Success

• Imagine the positive outcomes and the sense of accomplishment you’ll experience upon completing a task. Visualization can motivate you to get started. Remember, it’s impossible to finish what you’ve haven’t started but once you start, nothing is impossible.

Reward Yourself

• Establish a system of rewards for completing tasks. This can create positive reinforcement and make the process more enjoyable.

Accountability Partners

• Share your goals with someone who can help hold you accountable. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, having someone check in on your progress can be motivating.

Address Perfectionism

• Understand that perfection is not always attainable, and waiting for the perfect conditions can lead to procrastination. Embrace a mindset of progress over perfection.

Develop a Routine

• Establishing a routine can help train your brain to expect certain activities at specific times, making it easier to overcome procrastination. You’ll need to use your routine for 30 days to make it a habit but once you do you’ll discover just how useful some habits can be.

Overcoming procrastination is an ongoing process. It’s normal to face setbacks. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Sometimes progress will be big, sometimes it will be small, but the most successful people will tell you that all progress is progress. And if you’re making progress everyday then you’re way ahead of most people.

Handling the Pressures of the Holiday Season

Steve Keating Leave a comment

It has been said, and sung, many times and many ways, that this, the Holiday Season, is the most wonderful time of the year. Unfortunately, for some it’s not so wonderful. They may associate the holidays with the loss of a loved one. They may see the holidays as an “obligation” that requires them to spend time doing things with people they would rather not be around. And they may think of the holidays as a time they “have to” spend money they just don’t have.

It’s good for us to realize that just because this is the most wonderful time of the year for most people, not everyone feels that way. Don’t try to force your joy onto someone who just isn’t into it. But even for those of us who truly love this time of year there are “pressures” that can build up that rob us of the joy of the season.

Handling those pressures can be challenging. They often involves a mix of social, financial, personal stressors and more. So here are a few strategies to help make sure The Grinch doesn’t get ahold of your holiday spirit.

• Set Realistic Expectations: Be realistic about what you can accomplish and what you expect from others. Understand that not everything will be perfect, and that’s okay.

• Budget Wisely: Create a budget for holiday spending and stick to it. Financial stress can be a significant pressure during the holidays, so planning ahead can help alleviate this.

• Plan Ahead: Start planning early to avoid last-minute stress. This includes gift shopping, meal preparation, and travel arrangements.

• Learn to Say No: It’s okay to decline invitations or additional responsibilities if you feel overwhelmed. Focus on what is most important to you and your well-being.

• Prioritize Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

• Delegate Tasks: Don’t be afraid to ask for help or delegate responsibilities. You don’t have to do everything on your own.

• Focus on the Meaning of the Holidays: Remember the true meaning of the holidays. It’s not just about material gifts but also about spending quality time with loved ones and expressing gratitude.

• Create Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your time and energy. This may involve limiting the number of commitments or politely declining certain invitations.

• Celebrate in a Way that Works for You: Tailor your holiday celebrations to match your preferences and values. It’s okay to break from tradition if it means reducing stress.

• Connect with Others: Reach out to friends and family for support. Share your feelings and concerns, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.

• Learn to Let Go: Understand that not everything will go as planned, and that’s okay. Learn to let go of perfectionism and focus on enjoying the moment.

• Create Meaningful Traditions: Establish traditions that bring you joy and fulfillment. These can be simple activities that align with your values.

• Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the holiday pressures become overwhelming, consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and coping strategies.

For many of us, but not all, the holiday season is about joy, connection, and celebration. By prioritizing your well-being and being intentional in your choices, you can navigate the pressures more effectively and perhaps bring a little joy to those who struggle this time of year too.

Dealing With Sudden Loss

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Dealing with sudden loss, such as the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, or any other significant change, can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally distressing experience. Coping with sudden loss requires time, self-care, and support.

You need to be careful with your feelings during times of sudden loss. They are capable and convincing liars. After a job loss for instance they may try to convince you that you’re somehow a diminished person. That you are less than you were before. That’s all BS. You matter as much as ever. You make the world better because you’re in it. You bring value to the people in your life and you should never doubt that for a minute.

But suffering any significant loss is tough. There is no doubt about that. Here are some steps and strategies to help you navigate this difficult period.

• Allow yourself to grieve: It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to grieve. Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s okay to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion.

• Seek support: Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. Talking to someone you trust can provide comfort and a sense of connection during this difficult time. You may also consider joining a support group or seeking the help of a therapist or counselor to talk through your feelings. You should know this absolute fact…THERE IS NOT A HINT OF SHAME IN NEEDING SOME ADDITIONAL SUPPORT IN A TIME OF LOSS.

• Take care of your physical health: Grief can take a toll on your body, so it’s important to maintain your physical health. Eat nutritious meals, get enough sleep, and engage in regular physical activity to help manage stress and maintain your overall well-being.

• Create a routine: Establishing a daily routine can provide structure and stability during a time of upheaval. Having a sense of predictability can be comforting and help you regain a sense of control.

• Avoid major life decisions: During the initial stages of grief, try to avoid making significant life decisions, if possible. You may not be in the best mindset to make clear choices, and your perspective can change as you process your loss over time.

• Write or journal: Expressing your feelings through writing can be therapeutic. Keeping a journal can help you explore your emotions, track your progress, and gain insight into your grief journey.

• Memorialize or commemorate the loss: Find a way to remember and honor the person or thing you’ve lost. This could involve creating a memorial, holding a memorial service, or participating in activities that remind you of positive memories.

• Be patient with yourself: Grieving is a unique and individual process, and there is no set timeline for when you should “get over” your loss. Allow yourself to heal at your own pace and don’t rush the process.

• Seek professional help if needed: If your grief becomes overwhelming, persistent, or disrupts your ability to function in daily life, it’s important to consider speaking to a mental health professional who can offer guidance and support.

Remember that healing from a sudden loss is a gradual and ongoing process. If you have people in your life who tell you to “just get over it” then it might be time to be over them. They may be well meaning but they clearly don’t understand significant loss. I’d advise against taking advice from the “just get over it” types.

Over time, the intensity of your grief may lessen, but it’s common for waves of sadness to resurface, especially on anniversaries or other significant dates. By taking the time to address your emotions and seeking support when needed, you can work through your grief and eventually find a sense of peace and acceptance.

How to Deal With Worry and Stress

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Dealing with worry and stress is essential for maintaining mental and physical well-being. While it’s natural to experience these emotions from time to time, chronic worry and stress can have a ton of adverse effects on your health. You likely won’t like hearing this but the truth is, most of the stress in our lives is self-inflected. We over commit, we allow others easy access to our time, and we struggle mightily to say the one little word that is a proven stress killer…no.

But sometimes no just isn’t appropriate, like when the boss “encourages” you to say yes. So here are some other ideas that can help you manage and reduce worry and stress.

• Start by pinpointing the specific causes of your worry and stress. Knowing what’s triggering these feelings can help you address the root of the problem. Looking in the mirror is a great place to start. Before anything else, make certain it’s not you who holds the unrealistic expectations of what you can and cannot do.

• Get away from the source. Even a short break from the source of the stress can make a ton of difference. That’s why it’s so important to NOT eat lunch at your desk. It may seem to be productive but it’s often the most counterproductive thing you can do. You need to recharge, even if it’s only for 15-30 minutes. You’ll finish the day with more energy and less stress.

• So, I don’t have a lot of credibility here but people who know about this stuff swear that physical activity can release endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. They say regular exercise also helps reduce stress hormones in your body. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

• I’m getting better at this and can vouch for the fact that a well-balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can positively impact your mood and stress levels. Avoid excessive caffeine and sugar, which can exacerbate anxiety.

• Prioritize getting enough sleep each night (typically 7-9 hours for adults). Lack of sleep can make stress worse, so establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

• Organize your tasks and prioritize them. No one has more time than you. But if you’re constantly stressed out it’s likely because you don’t have well defined priorities. Create a to-do list and break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Do them in order of importance…this is why you NEED priorities. This can prevent feeling overwhelmed.

• Some goals need to stretch you to your limits. If they don’t you’ll never know what your limits truly are. But don’t set yourself up for failure by making every goal overly ambitious. Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a given timeframe.

• I once went to Urgent Care with a sore arm. The doctor asked me when the arm hurt. I said whenever I move it like this. He said, “okay, don’t move it like that.” I wanted my copay back. But I got his point, if something is causing pain then stop doing it. The source of the pain might fix itself in short order. It works that way for stress too. If possible, avoid or limit exposure to situations, or environments that consistently cause stress. This might involve setting boundaries or making lifestyle changes. If you’ve identified certain people around you as a source of your stress limit your time around those people as much as possible.

• I have a personal “rule” that there must be some fun in everyday. It’s a top top priority for me. It should be for you too. So invest some time doing activities you enjoy and that help you relax, whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or listening to music. These can serve as healthy distractions.

• Regularly remind yourself of the things you’re grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones. The new iPhone operating system makes it incredibly easy to keep track of what you’re grateful for. This is unscientific but I’m pretty darn sure stress can’t find its way into a grateful heart.

• Sorry friends but booze might hide stress for a little while but it doesn’t do a thing to eliminate it. In fact, excessive use of stimulants like caffeine and alcohol can exacerbate stress and anxiety. Moderation is key, and reducing or eliminating these substances may be best.

Remember that managing worry and stress is an ongoing process. It requires a fair amount of intentionality. What works for one person may not work for another, so experiment with different strategies to find what suits you best. Consistency and patience are key to long-term stress management.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success.

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

Negative Stress Has No Benefits

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Everyone experiences stress in their lives from time to time. Some of that stress is forced upon them and some of it they create themselves. But no matter where it originates from it is likely not good for them.

I say likely because some stress is actually positive, although it may not feel like it at the time. Some stress pushes you out of your comfort zone and drives you to take action. You would accomplish much less if there were absolutely no stress in your life. 

But the fact is that much of the stress in people’s lives is negative stress. The kind that has zero benefit. The negative stress that is piled on people by bosses, uncontrollable circumstances and the like is the toughest to deal with. But if you can think about the stress in your life with a clear head you may discover that much of the uncontrollable stress in actually controllable. 

When you continuously allow people into your life who do nothing but add stress to it then that’s on you. That’s something you can control. You only have to decide that you will.

Many times people manufacture their own stress. There are a few ways people do that. 

One is they become mind readers. Here’s a typical example. You’re in a big meeting and you see your boss leave the room with his boss. Now there’s only one thing they could be talking about out in that hallway…it must be you. You wonder what you did. You wonder if there’s any chance it’s a conversation about something you’ve done right. But you quickly decide it is not. And presto, just like that you start stressing. The amazing thing is that there are likely other people in the room stressing like you. Stop reading minds because it is highly unlikely you’re any good at it. You’re only manufacturing stress that does you no good.

The second way to manufacture stress out of thin air is to mistake feelings for facts. People, like me for instance, often mistake their feelings for reality. If you want to see how that works just watch a Hallmark movie. At some point, usually with about 20 minutes left there will be a huge misunderstanding and someone’s feelings will be hurt. The person assumes what they feel is based on facts but low and behold, with mere seconds left in the movie it’s all straightened out and two people live happily ever after. 

The problem is life isn’t a Hallmark movie. The misunderstanding often doesn’t get straightened out and the stress we manufacture has huge consequences, sometimes those consequences last a very long time. If you’re not CERTAIN about the FACTS of a situation ask for clarification. Even if you run the risk of looking stupid it’s better than being stupid by creating unnecessary stress in your life. 

And then there’s this…people turn molehills into mountains. That do that by catastrophizing. They turn every little problem into a catastrophe. Every mistake is the end of the world. Every problem becomes an insurmountable obstacle. They are doomed. This kind of manufactured stress increases day by day until the person is paralyzed into inactivity. All this because of what is essentially an over active imagination. 

You can eliminate much of the stress in your life by understanding it’s origins. A whole bunch of it likely is self-created. When you feel that happening the best thing you can do is disconnect from the situation, even if only for a few minutes. Talk a walk, call a friend. Ask for help. Or do what I do, eat some ice cream. You’ll find that to be particularly effective. 

There will be circumstances outside of your control that add stress to your life. Don’t add to it by creating more of your own. 

On a different subject… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

The Best Stress Eliminator, EVER!

Steve Keating 1 Comment

For most people the majority of the stress in their lives is self-inflected. We worry about stuff that hasn’t happened and likely never will. We imagine unlikely possibilities over and over until we are convinced they are almost certain to happen.

Nothing eliminates stress and worry better than action. The most effective action you can take to eliminate stress from your life is to make decisions.

Sitting around wondering what to do and when to do it mixes life into a toxic combination of fear, worry and stress. Making a decision and acting on it becomes a powerful elixir of motivating control over your life. 

You may be thinking that if the whole decision making and taking action thing was as easy as I make it sound you would have already done it. Well, I’ll admit that sometimes it’s not so easy but I’ve never seen a time where it wasn’t possible. So I’ll share with you now 7 “mini actions” that by themselves are far easier to do. When done together and in order they lead to nothing less than freedom from that toxic combination.

First resolve to do something about the situation that is causing you the stress. If that seems simplistic it isn’t. Many many people dwell on their problems with the assumption that “there is nothing they can do.” The first little baby step is deciding that you will try something to free yourself from that situation. You MUST know that every situation is temporary, the question is will you control your future or allow circumstances to control it for you.

Next gather information. Some of the information you’ll need to make a good decision will come from self-reflection. What are your strengths, what are your weaknesses. Some of the information will come from outside sources. Books, online research that pertains to your situation and trusted friends. Be sure to talk only to friends and family that care enough about you to be honest and that have your best interests in mind.

The information you collect will likely lead to several possible action steps. Make a list of all the possible alternations. Use your desired outcome to create additional alternatives if none of the alternatives you see take you where you want to go.

Now you’ll need to weigh the alternatives against your desired outcome using your personal values to guide you to choosing the best one. List the alternatives in priority order with the one most likely to help you achieve your goal as number one. Number one will become Plan A but plans don’t always work so you’ll want a Plan B and C. That eliminates the stress of worrying about what happens if Plan A doesn’t work. You’ll know exactly what you will do next.

Choose your alternative. If you can’t decide between two alternatives then flip a coin. If that sounds like a ridiculous way to determine your future then consider this…in the moment that coin is in the air you’ll know exactly which way you hope it falls. You will have made your decision! 

The most important step is acting on your decision. Action defeats stress and worry. Even if the decision turns out to be the wrong decision you will have made progress. Even a little progress, maybe even in the not so right direction, is better than sitting still wallowing in stress. 

Share your decision and plan with people who care about you. Ask them for help with accountability to stick with your plan. Ask them to make sure your action is constant until the stress inducing situation is resolved. 

You do not need stress in your life. Decisions and the actions that follow eliminates stress. Now, stop thinking about this post and DO something.