Tag Self Improvement

How to be Honest with Yourself…Honestly

Steve Keating 11 Comments

Oh no, what are you going to do now? You told yourself, and likely others, that you would do “it” next year. You said to yourself, “next year will be the year I take control of my future.” You told yourself that “next year will be different.”

Well now you, and anyone else you told, are about to find out if you were being honest with them…and yourself. You see that’s one of the biggest problems with lying to yourself, it causes you to lie to other people too. Even if you don’t intend to.

Self-improvement begins with you being 100% honest with yourself. No hedging, no compromises, no BS. Until you are completely honest with yourself you’re very unlikely to have the life that you want and deserve.

Being honest with yourself is a crucial aspect of personal growth and self-awareness. It involves acknowledging your thoughts, feelings, and actions without self-deception or rationalization. Here are some steps to help you be more honest with yourself.

Self-reflection

• Set aside time regularly to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

• Consider keeping a journal to document your experiences and insights. I’ve said this before but the journaling app on the iPhone is a great tool. It’s perfect for self-reflection.

Identify your values

• Understand your core values and principles. This will serve as a foundation for evaluating your actions and decisions. If you’re not sure what core values are then Google it. Don’t think for a minute that you don’t have core values because you certainly do. It just takes time to identify them and bring them to the top of your mind so you can live accordingly.

Acceptance

• Embrace all aspects of yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses. Avoid judgment and self-criticism.

• Accept that everyone makes mistakes, and view them as opportunities for learning and growth. No one has ever learned from a mistake they refuse to admit… don’t be a no one.

Challenge your beliefs

• Question your assumptions, beliefs, and preconceived notions. Are they based on evidence, or are they influenced by bias or wishful thinking? The most successful know better than to believe everything they think.

Seek feedback

• Ask for honest feedback from trusted friends, family members, or mentors. They may provide valuable perspectives you might not have considered.

Be accountable

• Take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Avoid blaming external factors or other people for your circumstances. If you’re good at making excuses it will be highly likely that you’re not good at making anything else.

Set realistic goals

• Establish achievable and meaningful goals for yourself. Regularly assess your progress and adjust your goals as needed. It is okay to occasionally set a big stretch goal, just don’t do it so often that it prevents you from achieving more realistic goals.

Listen to your intuition

• Pay attention to your gut feelings and instincts. These can provide valuable insights into your true thoughts and emotions.

Admit when you’re wrong

• Be open to admitting mistakes and learning from them. This requires humility and a willingness to grow.

Learn from failures

• View failures as opportunities to learn and improve. Analyze what went wrong, and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.

Practice self-compassion

• Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Understand that nobody is perfect, and self-improvement is a continuous journey.

Being honest with yourself is an ongoing process. It requires self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. Regularly reassess your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs to ensure alignment with your values and goals.

That creates an easy, constructive and completely honest conversation with yourself and that’s the beginning of honest conversations with everyone.

Looking Ahead

Steve Keating 4 Comments

First off, Happy New Year. Thank you to everyone for investing a bit of your time each week to read this blog. There are a ton of blogs out there and every time someone reads one of my posts I take it as a compliment.

So, here we are in another New Year. Many of you will have made New Year’s resolutions by now. Some of you will have already fell short of making those resolutions happen. The vast majority of the rest of you will fall short of realizing your resolutions in the next couple of weeks.

That does not make you a failure or an unsuccessful person. It’s proof you’re human. I actually did hear of one person who figured out the whole resolution thing. They have made a resolution along with a definitive plan to accomplish it. Their resolution is to read more in 2023. In order to accomplish that they have turned on Closed Captioning on their television. 

I think that’s called “gaming the system.” Let’s face it, most of us just stink when it comes to executing on our resolutions. 

That’s why I don’t bother with resolutions. I’m no better at following through with them than anyone else. Instead I make commitments. Then I develop a solid executable plan to make certain I can honor that commitment. Then I tell the people closest to me, people who matter most to me, about the commitments and ask for their help in holding me accountable for that commitment. Often times I do more than tell them, I write out the commitments along with my plan to honor them. I print them out and give them to the people. I practically beg those people to hold me accountable.

I tell them, only kind of jokingly, they if I fail to keep that commitment they will be at least partial responsible for my falling short. I know my best chance for success comes from being accountable to someone. That’s true for you as well. We ALL do better with accountability in our lives. Again, that just proves we are human. 

So if you’re looking ahead for greater success and happiness in 2023 the first thing you have to do is be certain you’re looking ahead. Go into the New a year with a future perspective. Not a past perspective. Take your 2022 lessons into the future with you but leave the losses and disappointments behind. 

Invest some serious time reflecting on where you want to be when 2023 is past. Also consider what time, energy and resources you’re willing to invest to make that happen. Then make a commitment to take whatever action is required to make it real. 

Share that commitment with people who care enough about you to hold you accountable. Truly accountable. They need to be willing to bug the hell out of you and you need to be willing to allow them to. 

We can ALL use a little help now and again. Being held accountable to do what we said we would do is some of the most awesome help you’ll ever get. If you want anything “better” in life then step one is realizing that you’re ultimately the one who must make it so. So go forth and make it so!

Outstanding Investment Advice

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There are not a lot of people who read this blog for the investment advice I provide within almost every post. (Or maybe that is exactly why they read it.) This despite the fact that it’s the best investment advice you’ll ever get. 

Unless you live under a rock you are undoubtedly aware that there isn’t much good news about anything that has to do with money. There seems to be no safe haven for investments these days. Even deciding to sit home and not spend a dime doesn’t work because tomorrow that dime ain’t worth a dime anymore. 

But I’ve figured it out. I know, without a doubt the best investment you can possible make. There is a guaranteed return on your investment. It’s all upside without even the possibility of taking a loss. 

The name of the stock you should be, must be, investing in is called YOU! Don’t waste time looking for that YOU symbol in any stock trading apps. Look for YOU in the mirror. An investment in YOU is the best investment you will ever ever make. 

The worst investment strategy anyone can make is waiting for someone else, or their company, to develop them as a person, a leader, or a better anything. It’s great if other people want to invest in you but even that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t add to that investment level by investing even more in yourself.

Nearly every blog post I’ve ever written has the theme of “self-development” in it and that has never been more important than it is today. A mostly vibrant economy with tons of job openings has made many of us a little lazy when it comes to keeping our skills bright and shiny. 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are storms on the horizon. Lots of headwinds are coming your way. There are likely to be layoffs and downsizings happening in industries across the globe. As bad as that may be for some, those who invest in themselves today will be the ones who are best positioned to survive those storms. In fact, they are likely to thrive in them.

Take a class. Acquire a certification. Take actions to increase your visibility like volunteering to give a presentation, even on a topic you’re not that familiar with. There is nothing like a little concern about embarrassing yourself in front of others to push you to learn something new. 

As I’ve written often the most successful people learn something new almost every single day. That’s the best way to “future proof” yourself from the vulgarities of the swirling seas fast approaching. 

Give yourself a big leg up on the people who are stuck in the present. Investment in yourself and the dividend you’ll receive is the future you deserve. 

On a another subject…Donald Trump and Joe Biden both say they “never miss a video from LeadToday on Twitter!” Well… they would say that if they had ever heard of me, or if one of them hadn’t been kicked off Twitter. The videos they aren’t talking about are something new I’m trying on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

Do Your Best…Because You Deserve It

Steve Keating 1 Comment

We’ve all likely heard lots about the great resignation or great reshuffle or whatever you want to call it. I hear one of the reasons is that people seem to be searching for something better. Something that will keep them engaged. Someplace where they will matter.

Organizations that do a poor job of keeping their people engaged risk losing them. Or worse, they risk having them stay while remaining disengaged. You can find tons of articles about what companies and organizations should do to keep their people engaged. I don’t disagree with any of them. 

But I have a different idea. It’s pretty old fashioned. Some would say very outdated. More still would say it’s completely unwoke. But I don’t care, even if I’m the last person who thinks this way. 

The idea is that people who accept a paycheck from a company should figure out for themselves how to stay engaged. 

They should realize that accepting that paycheck obligates them to keep themselves engaged. Perhaps they need to accept responsibility for giving their very best effort even on the days they don’t feel like it. 

The very best companies with outstanding leadership are very intentional about working with their people to help them stay engaged and motivated. But most companies aren’t the best and many lack even mediocre leadership. 

If you’re in one of the companies not blessed with outstanding leadership and you’re waiting on your boss or leader to keep you engaged then you’re gonna be waiting a real long time. 

If you’re waiting for your company, boss, or anyone besides yourself to make you happy and feel fulfilled then I have bad news for you…or maybe it’s good news… you must develop the attitude of “If it’s to be then it’s up to me.” 

You have within you the power to keep yourself engaged. You have the absolute ability to motivate yourself. It’s great when you get some help along the way but don’t count on it. Stop looking out for the “stuff” that will keep you motivated and engaged. Start looking within because that’s the only guaranteed source of motivation. 

There would be far less movement of people in the workforce if more people accepted responsibility for their own results. Blaming someone else because you’re a crappy employee or poor team member is a sure sign of galactic irresponsibility. 

It is your responsibility to always give your best effort. It’s your responsibility not only for the company paying you. The fact is YOU deserve the satisfaction that comes with knowing you did your best. No matter what anyone else thinks. 

If you find yourself in a situation where it simply requires more effort than you can give to keep yourself motivated then you need to understand that it’s your responsibility to separate yourself from that situation. As soon as possible. 

If you continuously find yourself in those situations no matter where you’re working then perhaps changing jobs isn’t the change that’s needed. If you can’t determine what needs to change I’d suggest you consider investing in a mirror and looking there. 

On a completely different subject…I’m trying something new out over on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day,  people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than regular Twitter followers. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, I can’t promise it will last for a long time but I can promise the content will be helpful as long as it does.

How You Doin’?

Steve Keating 3 Comments

We’re a little bit past the middle of the year and some of you have already decided whether this is going to be a good year or not so good. For those of you who have struggled thus far let me remind you we’re a little bit past the half-way point. You have plenty of time to turn things around. For those of you who have done well so far let me remind you too, we have a whole lot of this year left. If your year has been good so far then there is no reason it needs to stay that way…you can change it into a great year.

The key to moving from not so good to good is the same as moving from good to great. You must know where you are today in order to know what you need to do to be someplace else tomorrow. 

Many people reading this have not yet invested any time this year to determine exactly where they are and how they got there. Now is the perfect time for some self-reflection. 

What have you been doing that is not working for you? What haven’t you been doing that you should be doing? When was the last time you sat quietly and reviewed your goals for the year and your goals for life? Are you spending time with people who feed you negativity or investing time with people who build you up?

NOW is the perfect time to ask yourself those questions. The opportunity to change direction remains yours to seize. The decision to speed up your progress is yours to make. 

Wherever you are at this point in time it’s vital that you understand that you put yourself there. Your decisions, choices and actions have consequences or benefits. If you’re blaming others or blaming your circumstances then you’ve lost control of your year…maybe even your life. 

The most successful people don’t blame their circumstances. They create circumstances that give them the best chance to succeed. They create those circumstances with thoughtful decisions, good choices and taking appropriate action to follow through on both. 

Self-reflection requires that you be honest with yourself. Sometimes brutally honest. It also requires an understanding that you are the master and creator of your future…if you choose to be. 

Invest some time today to take a mid-year assessment of your current situation and your desired situation. Adjust what you must and be fearless in jettisoning the things, actions and maybe people, who add no value to your life. 

You still have time to make this year exactly what you want it to be. Perhaps even better than you could have imagined. Just remember, if it’s to be it’s up to you to make it so.

Keeping Score

Steve Keating 4 Comments

I was recently invited to join a Saturday morning golf league. I’ve never been asked to join this type of very unique league before. What made it so unique was that they don’t keep score. Apparently not keeping score is supposed to make the game more fun. 

I know there will be people who disagree with this but I see no point to playing golf…or any sport if you’re not going to keep score. I kind of understand the people who say that very young kids should be allowed to play sports without the “pressure” of keeping score but I’m not entirely bought into the idea. 

But for adults I believe keeping score in most areas of life is essential. 

Professional sales people who don’t know their percentage of wins vs opportunities have no way of truly knowing if their approaches are effective. Companies who don’t track their market share have no idea if they are gaining or losing customers. Retailers who do not track the amount of customers entering their establishments have no clue if their marketing and advertising is working. 

The “score” is simply a reference point on your journey to ultimate success. If you don’t track what actions and tactics are working for you then you’re very likely to get lost on that journey. 

How often do you stop to check your personal success score? Do you invest time to reflect on what’s working in your life? What’s not working? 

Most everyone I talk to claims to want a better tomorrow. They seek improvement in many areas of their life. But many of them want the improvement to come without making any changes. They want to do the same thing today as they did yesterday but they want a better result. That is not very likely to happen. 

Improvement doesn’t come from making changes. Improvement comes from making the right changes and the only way to know what changes will be the right ones is to keep score. 

The “score” is your result. Measuring results informs our decisions on what we need to change in order to have that better result we seek.

One more point, when you keep score make sure you’re being honest with yourself about what’s working and what’s not. Accepting responsibility for your actions or inactions is step one on the road to improvement. 

Denial might get you down that river in Egypt but it won’t get you far on the road to success.

So…do you know your score?

I HAVE to add this very last point. Keeping score in relationships is a losing game. It’s a losing game because believing you can “win” an argument with someone is a fool’s errand. The sooner you realize that fact the sooner your relationships in life will begin to improve. Sorry for kinda tacking that on to the end of this post but I felt it had to be said. 

Are You Necessary?

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I’ve never really thought about job security. I’ve never considered that “job security” could or should come from a person’s place of employment. I don’t even think I like the term “job security.” I much prefer the term “income security.”

The most successful people I know do not count on a job to help them feel secure. They count on their ability. If you can do something others cannot do then you will always have security. If you can do something better than most others can do it you will always have security.

No job can make you necessary. You must make yourself necessary. When you make yourself necessary you will always be needed.

If you truly want to be secure then learn to create, innovate or be someone other people can use and need.

It’s a stressful time for people out of work. But only for people who count on a company or someone else for their income security.

There are people who have made themselves necessary and those people are getting multiple job offers in the middle of a pandemic. So I ask you…are you necessary?

It’s entirely possible you’re more needed than you know. It’s all in how you look at it. If I ask most salespeople what they do for a living they would tell me “I’m in sales.” While they may be very good salespeople that statement puts them in the very same pool as a gazillion other people who try to make their living peddling who knows what to anyone who will buy it.

But if the same salesperson has a mindset of success, the mindset of sales professionals who have made themselves necessary, they will answer my question by saying something like. “I help people overcome challenges and succeed. I do that through selling and by representing only the finest products and services. The kind of products and services that make a difference in the world and in the lives of real people.”

If I ask a person in a leadership position what they do for a living most will answer “I manage the….. and then tell me what department of what company they work in. There’s lots and lots of people like that…they aren’t all that necessary.

But if I ask an actual leader what they do for a living I’ll almost always get some variation of, “I help people grow in their careers so they can help their companies grow as well.” They very often DO NOT mention where they happen to be working until I ask a follow up question. Their income security does not come from where they work, it comes from what they do.

Making yourself necessary requires you to constantly be improving. Necessary people do not wait for an employer or company to help them get better. They make themselves better. They study. They learn. They have a coach or a mentor.

No one can make you necessary but yourself. It begins with a change of attitude. Develop an attitude that you’ll be better today than you were yesterday and you’re on your way to becoming a necessity. Even if it turns out you are not a necessity where you’re at today, you will be a necessity wherever you are tomorrow.