I’ve been very blessed to seldom find myself in a situation where I have to interact with a truly cruel person. You know the type. Those people who actually take pleasure in causing pain and anguish in someone else’s life.
Whether it’s mental anguish, physical pain, or just wreaking havoc in someone’s life, they delight in seeing other people struggling. And if they are truly a cruel person they are pretty darn good at making life miserable for others.
But like it or not, there will likely be a time when we will have to interact with that type of individual. I think dealing with cruel people will always be challenging. That’s because, hopefully, we never get enough practice to get good at it.
But when we do come across a cruel person, here are some strategies that might help you deal with them a little more effectively.
1. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Don’t be afraid to enforce these boundaries. Limit contact or walk away from toxic, cruel people and the situations they create.
2. Stay Calm: Cruel people often try to provoke a reaction. By staying calm and composed, you maintain control of the situation and avoid giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset.
3. Don’t Take It Personally: Often, cruelty stems from the other person’s issues rather than anything you’ve done. Remember that their behavior reflects their character, not yours.
4. Respond with Empathy: Sometimes, responding with kindness can disarm a cruel person. It may not change their behavior, but it can help you maintain your integrity and avoid escalating the situation.
5. Avoid Retaliation: Responding with cruelty can perpetuate a cycle of negativity. Instead, focus on constructive ways to address the situation or remove yourself from it.
6. Seek Support: Talk to someone you trust about what you’re experiencing. Sometimes an outside perspective can help you navigate difficult situations more effectively.
7. Protect Your Well-being: Prioritize your mental and emotional health. If the cruelty is persistent and affecting you deeply, consider seeking professional help to cope.
8. Know When to Walk Away: Sometimes the best response is to remove yourself from the situation entirely. If someone is consistently cruel, it may be best to distance yourself and focus on healthier relationships.
There will certainly be people reading this who would take a different approach than any of these. Those are the “fight fire with fire” kinds of individuals. I know those kinds of people because at my core I’m one of them. I’d seriously just as soon nuke a cruel person into oblivion, but time and experience have taught me that’s a losing proposition.
Being the bigger, kinder, smarter person is a much better approach. So I take a breath and remind myself that when the fire department fights fires, they typically use water, not more fire.
Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest stuff to drink, but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
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I spend a fair amount of time on airplanes. So much time in fact that I think I could do the pre-flight safety announcements from memory. In you’ve ever flown you may recall the part of the safety announcements where they say, “in the unlikely event of loss in cabin pressure oxygen masks will drop from a panel above you.” They also say to adjust your own mask before helping others with theirs.