Saying Thank You is Not a Weakness

Isn’t that a ridiculous title for a post on leadership? I mean why would anyone think that thanking someone could ever make you look weak?

Except for too many people in leadership positions, that is exactly what they think. I often encourage leaders to thank their people for a job well done. Most of them see the wisdom in committing to that basic human relations principle. Most, but not all. 

The response I get from a surprising number of people who occupy leadership positions is that their people get a paycheck, that’s enough thanks. I also hear that when you start thanking people for doing their job they begin to expect it. But perhaps worst of all is the “I’m not their mommy, they do their job and we pay them…that’s where it ends.” 

Even though I’ve written about this before and even though I’ve said it a thousand times, let me say it again. If you don’t possess the most basic ability to be nice to the people you’re supposed to be leading then whoever elevated you to a leadership position made a mistake. 

Sometimes even the best leaders get busy. So busy that they “forget” that basic principle of of saying thanks to their team members. It is important to note here that “forgetting” to show appreciation for your team causes the same lack of engagement issues as choosing not to appreciate them.

Being nice costs you nothing but it can mean so much when it comes to keeping your people engaged and motivation. Being nice is the fastest, easiest way to demonstrate that you see the people you lead as actual human beings. It shows you care about them as people and not just an “asset” that fills some role or does a job. 

It’s probably a good idea if we look for a second at the difference between being nice and being kind…yes, there is a difference. Being kind to someone means doing something for them. It likely has a cost to you associated with it. Most often that cost is in terms of time but it can also be financial. Helping someone with a project at work when there is no benefit to you is an example of being kind. Going out of your way to give someone a ride home is another example. 

Saying hello to someone, holding the door for them, and yes, saying thank you, are all examples of being nice. It’s that simple.

If you want to be an actual leader, rather than merely occupy a leadership position, then you must realize that truly leading comes with a lot of responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is earning the commitment of your people. If your people think you don’t care about them as human beings they cannot commit to you. 

Many times being nice, which includes saying thank you from time to time, is all it takes to show you care. If you can’t even do that then you can’t actually lead either.

On a different subject…I’m trying something new out over on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day,  people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than regular Twitter followers. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, I can’t promise it will last for a long time but I can promise the content will be helpful as long as it does.

A Word of Appreciation

One of the easiest ways to maintain healthy relationships, with anyone, is to show appreciation. When you make it a point to share with people how much you appreciate what they have done it separates you from most other people who don’t show enough appreciation.

 

I’d be willing to bet that someone in your life has done something for you that deserves a simple thank you or a bit of appreciation. It’s entirely possible, maybe even likely, that you’re already aware of that person and fully intend to show your appreciation. But intending to show your appreciation and actually doing it are two very different things. 

 

Here are a few ideas for turning your intentions into actual actions. 

 

Call at least one person a day, everyday, to thank them for something. This might take a bit of thinking at first but pretty soon you’ll see the opportunities to say thank you are nearly limitless.  

 

Send out five thank-you notes a week. As powerful as a spoken thank you can be a written one is ten times more meaningful. Yes, an emailed thank you works but a hand written thank you means so much more. Poor handwriting is no excuse, print if you have to but handing out or mailing a written thank you can have tremendous impact on the recipient.

 

Don’t wait for someone to do something for you to show appreciation. Take the initiative and do something for someone every day and don’t let them discover it was you who did it. This is harder than it seems and I think it’s hard because it’s human nature to want “credit” for doing something good or nice. But do what you do for others without the expectation of appreciation or payback. When you expect something back, that is not appreciation — it’s a barter.

 

When you are appreciative, it makes other people feel like they want to do more for you, even though that was not your agenda. When we fail to show appreciation, it makes others feel like they want to do less for us. It makes them feel taken for granted. That’s never good.

 

Someone in your life could benefit from a word of appreciation this very day. Can you guess who it might be? Don’t guess, just start passing out appreciation as if it were free. The fact is, it is free but it is the most valuable free thing you’ll ever see. A thank you doesn’t cost anything yet it can mean the world to people who don’t hear those two powerful words often enough.


Don’t wait to show your appreciation. Do it now because a word of appreciation just might make someone’s day.