Tag Management

When the Boss is a Bully

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There are three types of people who have authority over others in the workplace. One is an Authentic Leader. This type of individual is a joy to work with. They care as much about the success of the people they lead as they do about their own success. They work tirelessly to help people reach their full potential, both at work and in life.

The second is a manager. They often think of themselves as leaders, but leading and managing are two very different things. The managers are typically more concerned with process than with people. They get stuff done, but in a much more tactical way than a leader would. They are not necessarily bad to work for, but it’s not as rewarding an experience as working with a leader.

Then there is the boss. Bosses are not usually great at managing, and they are even worse at leading. It’s not that they want to be, but if they have worked for a bad boss in the past, they are very likely to be a bad boss themselves. That doesn’t make them bad people; it just limits their ability to help people grow while getting stuff done.

But just as there are “levels” of leadership and managing, there are also levels of bossing. And no level of boss is worse than the boss who is a bully too.

Dealing with a bully is hard. It’s especially hard when the bully is your boss. Here are some steps to at least make an attempt at handling that situation.

• Stay Calm. Keep your composure and try not to react emotionally. It’s essential to maintain professionalism in any confrontation. Obviously, this is easier said than done. None of us want to be somebody’s doormat. It’s instinctive to stand up for yourself. But you must rise above your lowly bully boss and be as professional as possible in all circumstances.

• Document Everything. Keep a detailed record of the incidents. Jot down dates, times, what was said or done, and any witnesses present. This documentation can be crucial if you need to escalate the issue later.

• Understand the Motivation. Try to understand why your boss is acting this way. Sometimes, their behavior might stem from personal issues, stress, or insecurity. Understanding their motivation can help you devise a more effective strategy for dealing with them. Don’t merely dismiss them as being a jerk; they might be, or it might be something entirely different causing them to be difficult.

• Set Boundaries. Politely but firmly assert your boundaries. Let your boss know that their behavior is not acceptable to you. Be assertive without being confrontational. Let them know when they have crossed a line. You may need to remind them more than once. Only you can determine when “enough is enough” and it’s become time to escalate. If one time equals “enough is enough” for you, that’s fine. It doesn’t make you weak or a quitter or anything else. It only makes you someone who is protecting your own mental health, and that’s never a bad thing.

• Seek Support. Talk to someone you trust about the situation, such as a colleague, HR representative, or mentor. They might offer valuable advice or support.

• Address the Issue Directly. If you feel comfortable, consider having a private conversation with your boss to address their behavior. Choose a time when both of you are calm and free from distractions. Use “I” statements to express how their actions are impacting you, e.g., “I feel uncomfortable when…”

• Utilize Company Policies. If the bullying persists or escalates, familiarize yourself with your company’s policies regarding harassment and workplace behavior. Consider reporting the behavior to HR or a higher-level manager. Again, this does not mean you’re a tattletale or any kind of loser. The policies exist because, as long as there have been bosses, there have been bosses who were bullies. Use the policies to your benefit because it’s very likely you’re benefiting others in your organization as well.

• Explore Other Options. If the situation does not improve and your well-being continues to suffer, you may need to explore other job opportunities. No job is worth sacrificing your mental health. Resist the very human temptation to seek revenge on your way out the door. That’s not going to “fix” the boss, and in the long run it may cause you more regrets than the short-term satisfaction of revenge is worth.

Remember, you have rights in the workplace, and no one should have to endure bullying behavior, regardless of the perpetrator’s position. Never forget how valuable you are, both within the workplace and outside of it too. Don’t allow a bully to cause you to doubt that reality. You matter, you are special, you make a difference for people. A bully saying otherwise will never change those facts.

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The Actual Differences Between Managing and Leading

Steve Keating Leave a comment

It has been a while since I’ve written on this topic. Considering the hefty increase over the last few months in subscribers to this blog it feels like it’s time again. The terms “managing” and “leading” are often used interchangeably, but they represent distinct aspects of organizational and team dynamics. While there is some overlap, they emphasize different roles and functions within a group or company.

Simply put, we manage “stuff” and we lead people. “Stuff” includes everything that isn’t people. Things like spreadsheets, buildings, inventory, equipment, budgets and a ton of other “stuff.” Leadership is about people and it’s only about people. People will always resist being managed because it’s human nature to resist being treated like a piece of equipment.

People insist on being led. That might not be a conscious insistence but it’s as real as can be. Most of what HR professionals would describe as “personnel issues” stem from trying to manage people who insist, whether consciously or subconsciously, on being led.

The sustainability of an organization depends on both sound management and effective leadership. It also depends on understanding the unique characteristics of each.

Here’s a breakdown of the actual differences between managing and leading:

Focus and Scope:

• Managing: Primarily focuses on tasks, processes, and resources. Managers are responsible for planning, organizing, and controlling day-to-day activities to achieve specific objectives. Their focus is often on efficiency, coordination, and problem-solving.

• Leading: Primarily focuses on people. Leaders inspire and motivate individuals or teams to achieve a common vision or goal. Their focus is on aligning people with the organization’s mission, values, and long-term objectives.

Role and Authority:

• Managing: Involves the allocation and coordination of resources, making decisions, and ensuring that tasks are completed efficiently. Managers typically have authority based on their position within the organizational hierarchy.

• Leading: Involves influencing and inspiring others to follow a shared vision. Leaders may not always have formal authority, as their influence can stem from personal qualities, vision, or expertise.

Orientation:

• Managing: Tends to be more task-oriented. Managers are concerned with how to achieve specific goals, meet deadlines, and efficiently use resources.

• Leading: Tends to be more people-oriented. Leaders focus on building relationships, fostering collaboration, and creating a positive organizational culture.

Timing:

• Managing: Often involves short-term planning and execution. Managers deal with immediate issues, problems, and operational aspects of the organization.

• Leading: Often involves long-term vision and strategy. Leaders look ahead, setting the direction for the organization and navigating it through changes and challenges.

Control vs. Inspiration:

• Managing: Involves control mechanisms to ensure that tasks are completed as planned. Managers use authority, rules, and systems to maintain order.

• Leading: Involves inspiring and motivating others. Leaders appeal to emotions, values, and aspirations to encourage commitment and engagement.

Risk-Taking:

• Managing: Generally focuses on minimizing risks and maintaining stability. Managers often work within established procedures and protocols.

• Leading: Involves taking calculated risks to pursue innovation and change. Leaders are more likely to challenge the status quo and encourage experimentation.

In practice, effective leadership often requires a combination of management skills. Successful organizations recognize the importance of both managing and leading and may seek individuals who can balance these roles to achieve overall success and sustainability.

Leaders in Name Only

Steve Keating 6 Comments

I haven’t written about this topic in a while but it remains timely. Sadly, I’m afraid it will always be a timely topic because there will always be individuals who occupy positions of leadership with no clue as to what actual leadership looks like. 

They are managers who may or may not even be attempting to lead. So, before we go any further let me say loud and clear, with no doubt whatsoever, that managers and effective management are vital to any organization that hopes to grow or even survive in these times. 

However managers and management are vastly different than leaders and leadership. Both are essential for long-term success. The challenge for many managers and management teams is that they make the mistake of thinking that what they are doing is leading. It is often not. 

Sometimes, hopefully most of the time, good managers are good leaders and good leaders are good managers. Being effective at both requires that you understand the difference between the two. 

Managing and management is about a whole host of things. THINGS, as in inanimate objects and stuff. You manage things like property, inventory, buildings, plans, and budgets. If “it” can’t think for itself and is incapable of becoming emotional when you yell at it (a copier comes to mind) then you manage it. 

Leading and leadership is about people. Only people. All people. You lead people. You don’t even lead a company, organization, or team. You lead the people who make up that company, organization, or team. 

No, I’m not splitting hairs here. The difference in mindset between someone attempting to manage people and someone actually leading people is huge. Attempting to manage another human being as if they were an inanimate object is the cause of the vast majority of personnel problems within organizations. 

I’ve known very few managers who thought they were treating their people as inanimate objects. But how the manager feels they are treating their people is of little importance. How the people feel they are being treated will determine whether or not they have a chance to reach their full potential. If you’re not interested in helping people achieve their full potential that’s a sure sign you’re a leader in name only. 

Most people don’t read the owners manual that comes with the “stuff” they buy. That’s kinda how a manager attempts to lead people. “Seen one ya seen ‘em all” is a manager mindset. They manage all their buildings the same and they manage all their people the same too. 

Leaders read the owners manual for everyone of the people they lead. They know that every single person they lead is a unique individual with their own set of goals, objectives, hopes, dreams and yes, problems. 

They get to know their people because they care for them as people. They want them to succeed, they want them to grow. They know that their own success as a leader is completely dependent upon the success of their people. 

So while the manager may “spend time on” their people the leader “invests time with” their people. The difference in how people respond is like night and day. 

We could go on and on about the differences between managing and leader but I’ll spare you for now. Let me however leave you with a couple of questions to consider. First, do you understand, really understand the difference between the two? What would your people say if I asked them? 

The second question is key because when it comes to leading an Authentic Leader knows it is the followers who make the leader. If your people don’t see you as a leader then you have some work to do cause if you’re not leading they aren’t following. No matter what you tell yourself. 

Managing vs Leading – Part Seven

Steve Keating 1 Comment

People in leadership positions who attempt to manage their people use their head to get good things done. They expect their people to use their head as well. They are more manager than leader.

People in leadership positions who actually lead use their head and their heart to encourage their people to accomplish great things. They are as concerned with their people’s heart as much as their heads. They are more leader than manager but they are often excellent managers as well. However, they do not manage their people, they lead them.

People in leadership positions who attempt to manage people are so focused on what needs to get done that they forget it is people, real life human beings, who will get that work done. That causes them to often treat their people as something rather than someone.

Leaders lead. The need neither a leadership position or title to do it. Their first priority is the people who will do the work, not the work itself. They invest the time required to understand how their people think and why they think that way. They know their hopes, their challenges and their goals.

They help them in any area they possibly can. They will compassionately confront them when that is what is needed for them to succeed. They coach them. They mentor them. They care for them.

They do not tell them what to do, they show them. They model successful behavior. They hold their people to high standards and hold themselves to even higher standards.

Leaders who lead earn the commitment of their people. That commitment leads to increased productivity and extraordinary results.

People have hearts and it’s those hearts that truly need leadership. If you’re in a leadership position and you’re not leading your people then don’t expect them to put their hearts into their work. They may indeed use their heads to do good things but greatness will elude them. It will almost certainly elude you as well.

Managing vs Leading – Part Six

Steve Keating 4 Comments

There are several key differences between people who hold leadership positions and people who actually lead. As I’ve said frequently in this series people who hold leadership positions often attempt to manage their people. Leaders, whether they hold a leadership position or not, actually lead people.

Leaders who lead develop a Followership. Leaders who attempt to manage people hope to create subordinates. The difference is huge.

Subordinates comply with the demands, directives and requests of the boss. Sometimes they comply willingly and sometimes not. Sometimes they flat out resist the directives. In worse case scenarios they work against their boss and become a cancer to the entire organization. They frequently draw other team members into their sea of discontent.

At best a person in a position of leadership who attempts to manage their people can expect a mediocre level of performance. The development of their people is stunted and their potential is limited. Over time their people become disengaged. Even otherwise excellent people do not give the effort required for long-term success when they are managed.

When a leader leads they first work to create strong followers. Then they raise the bar to turn those followers into future leaders. People who are led don’t see the requests of their leaders as demands or directives. They do not comply with the requests because compliance isn’t needed. They are committed to the leader and they do whatever it takes to make certain they do not disappoint them.

Their level of work is frequently, almost always in fact, superior to managed people. They work with their leader to ensure all requirements for successful outcomes are met. People who are led instead of managed have a positive impact on the team by displaying both a more positive attitude and impressive work habits.

Leaders who lead help their people grow. Their people develop far faster than managed people. They also have a very good shot at reaching their full potential.

If you’re a person in a position of leadership who is attempting to manage your people you’re not going to like this next sentence. If you’re attempting to manage people then you’re causing an overwhelming percentage of the problems you would describe as personnel issues.

Subordinates will seldom help you grow as an organization because you’re not helping them grow as people. It may look as if leading people is harder than managing them and in fact it is…but only in the short term. In the long term the only way to eliminate personnel issues is to realize that your personnel are people. That is forgotten by far too many managers who occupy leadership positions. When you help your people grow, the rewards, both tangible and intangible far outweigh the extra effort required to truly lead.

People resist feeling managed. They respond to feeling led. Are the people you’re responsible for developing resisting you or responding to you?

The answer to that single question may hold the key to your future success and the success of your organization.

Managing vs Leading – Part Five

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Solid management is essential for any organization with a desire for stability. Authentic Leadership is even more essential for any organization hoping to grow.

That’s one of the key differences between managing and leading. You can manage an organization to stay the course. You can hold it steady with basic management principles and hope your competitors are satisfied with only managing their organization too.

But if you want to grow your organization or stay ahead of your competition then you’re going to need to lead the people who make up your organization.

Managing is all about the policies and procedures of today. Leading is about the vision and strategies of tomorrow. Policies and procedures matter. They provide the stability that organizations need to accomplish day-to-day tasks. Without those policies and procedures chaos ensues and productivity stops. That’s why great management is every bit as vital as great leadership.

Leaders are responsible to shape, share and sell their vision to the people they lead. Asking someone to follow you and then not giving them any idea of where they are following you to does not work. A leader’s vision should provide a guidepost for decision making. When faced with a decision ask if whatever you’re deciding will move you in the direction of your vision. If the answer is no then your decision is made.

Leaders also determine the strategies used to achieve the goals required to make the vision a reality. The management team will implement the tactics required to achieve the goals but absent those goals there are no tactics that will result in long-term success. That’s why great leadership is every bit as vital as great management.

Now I need to ask the obvious question. Do the people you are supposed to be leading know where you’re going? Have you shared your vision with them and showed them where they fit in the vision? Do you even have a vision? Does that vision include the people who are responsible for the day-to day success of your organization?

If your answers are anything other than a very strong YES then you may be doing far more managing than leading. If that’s the case you’ve just discovered why your organization is struggling to grow.

Provide at least the same level of leadership as you do management and you’ll quickly notice the difference in your people, their productivity and the strength of your entire organization.

Managing vs Leading – Part Two

Steve Keating 4 Comments

When you’re promoted to a leadership position it would be great if leadership skills came with the promotion. Unfortunately they don’t. More unfortunately, many new leaders act as if their new position, their new title, and their new office come with an entirely new set of skills that include a new way of thinking.

They couldn’t be more wrong. While you can be promoted to a position of leadership you cannot be promoted to leader. You must earn earn the right to lead. Earning that right begins when you realize that leadership has nothing to do with your title or position. Those things might make you a boss but they do not make you a leader. The good news is that once you realize that leadership isn’t about a position or title you also realize that you don’t need a title or leadership position to lead.

That’s because leadership is all about influence. Being a boss or a manager is more about authority. Influence gives you the opportunity to earn the commitment of other people. Authority only gives you the opportunity to force people to comply with your directives.

The fastest most effective way to influence other people is to demonstrate to them that you care for them. Notice that I didn’t say care about them. I said care for them. The difference is significant.

Anyone in a leadership position cares about the people they are supposed to lead. They care about their productivity. They care about their attitude. They care about their attendance. They care about the people they are supposed to lead getting the work done. They care about lots of things when it comes to the people they are supposed to lead.

But an Authentic Leaders cares for the people they lead. They care for them as individual human beings first and members of the organization second. The people they lead are more important than the task they ask them to complete. The people they lead are more important than their attendance record at work. Authentic Leaders don’t worry about the attitude of the people they lead. They create an environment of positivity that fosters a consistent positive attitude. They do all of that because they care for the people they are responsible to lead.

Authentic Leaders make a difference, a positive difference, in the lives of the people they lead and they don’t need a leadership position or a fancy title to make that happen.

Are showing your people that you care about them or are you demonstrating on a daily basis that you care for them? Do you invest the time required to know the people you lead? Do you know their goals, both personal and professional? Do you know the challenges they face in their lives. Do you know how you can help them achieve those goals and deal with those challenges?

If you can answer those questions with a yes then it’s likely that you are also demonstrating that you truly care for the people you lead. It is also almost a certainty that you’re an Authentic Leader!