Tag Lead

Recognizing the Importance of Recognition – Part One

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Most people in leadership positions claim to know the value of recognizing their teams. But a solid majority of them provide little to no recognition to their people.

That’s because they are so busy doing the urgent things of management that they have no time to do the important things of leadership. Like recognizing their people, for instance.

I should tell you that when mentoring people who say they are leaders, I am highly critical of those who say they don’t have time to recognize their people. Leadership is about people and it’s only about people. You manage things; you lead people. I’m fine with someone only having time to manage, so long as they stop calling themselves a leader. If you do not have time for people then you do not have time to lead.

People don’t just want recognition; they need recognition. Receiving recognition has a profound impact on individuals. It satisfies several important psychological and emotional needs. Here’s how you help people when you decide to authentically lead and provide meaningful recognition to your people.

Self-Esteem and Confidence
Recognition validates a person’s efforts, skills, and achievements, reinforcing their sense of worth. It can lead to greater confidence in their abilities and encourage them to take on new challenges.

Enhances Motivation
Acknowledgment of hard work often motivates individuals to continue performing well. When people feel their efforts are noticed and valued, they are more likely to maintain or improve their level of contribution. Money gets people to meet the job requirements; motivation causes them to exceed them.

Strengthens Social Bonds
Recognition fosters a sense of connection and belonging. Whether it’s in a workplace, family, or community, being acknowledged by others builds trust and strengthens relationships.

Reinforces Positive Behavior
Recognizing someone’s good work reinforces the specific behaviors or attitudes you want to see repeated. It encourages a culture of positivity and mutual respect.

Reduces Stress and Burnout
Feeling unappreciated can lead to frustration and disengagement. Recognition acts as a counterbalance, providing emotional support and reducing stress.

Fosters Personal Growth
Recognition often comes with constructive feedback, which helps individuals identify their strengths and areas for improvement, aiding in personal and professional development.

Creates a Sense of Purpose
Knowing that their contributions matter gives people a sense of purpose and fulfillment. This can be particularly important in challenging times, reminding them of the value they bring to others.

Regular, meaningful recognition helps cultivate a positive mindset and an environment where individuals feel seen, valued, and inspired to grow. I know it may seem as if you’re too busy to provide regular recognition but the reality is that, when you’re busy so are your people. That’s when they most need recognition.

Authentic Leaders do not mistake the everyday urgent tasks with the vital importance of truly leading their people. They figure out how to do both. In our next post, we will discuss the “how” of providing your people with sincere, impactful, and meaningful recognition. Don’t miss it!

Earning the Right to Lead

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the most common mistakes new leaders make is assuming that their position or title makes them a leader. It is as if one day they were individual contributors and the next day they were a respected leader. All because they have a new title or a position higher up in their organization.

But all the title or position does is give them the opportunity to earn the right to lead. It’s an opportunity that was available to them before they even had that position or title. They either didn’t realize it, or more likely, saw no need to earn the right to lead until they were actually in a leadership position.

But anyone who truly leads has earned that right by developing certain qualities and characteristics that inspire trust, respect, and commitment from others. They know that leadership is less about their title and more about the influence they build through their actions.

Here’s how you can also earn the right to lead.

1. Lead by Example

• Integrity: Do what you say you will do. Consistency in your values and actions builds trust.

• Work Ethic: Be willing to do the hard work. People follow those who demonstrate commitment. Never, ever forget that you’re leading by example, whether you intend to or not. It’s foolish to expect the people you lead to outwork you. You must show the way before you can lead the way.

• Humility: Acknowledge your mistakes and remain open to feedback and learning.

2. Develop Strong Relationships Throughout Your Organization

• Empathy: Understand and care about the needs, feelings, and challenges of others. Leaders who show empathy build deeper connections with their teams.

• Active Listening: Pay attention to others’ input, showing that their opinions are valued.

• Trust: Earn and give trust by being reliable, supportive, and respectful. We all have within us what I call a “credibility bank.” Every time we do exactly what we say we will, a small deposit is made into our credibility bank. Each time we fail to do exactly what we said we would do, a large withdrawal is made from that same credibility bank. That may not seem fair, but that’s the way it is. When your credibility balance goes too low, you lose the opportunity to lead.

3. Be Competent

• Knowledge and Skills: Demonstrating expertise in your field and continuously learning builds credibility. When people know you’re skilled, they’ll trust your decisions.

• Decision-Making: Be decisive but also thoughtful. Balancing analysis with intuition helps others to believe in your leadership.

• Problem Solving: Leaders who can navigate challenges and come up with effective solutions gain the confidence of those they lead. And always remember, you are not the only one in your organization with good ideas. Listen to your team; your success as a leader depends on it.

4. Serve Others

• Servant Leadership: Prioritize the needs of your team and help them succeed. When people feel you’re invested in their growth, they’re more likely to follow you.

• Support and Empower: Encourage your team, give them the tools and freedom to excel, and celebrate their successes, big and small.

5. Communicate Frequently and Effectively

• Clarity and Transparency: Be open about your goals, vision, and the reasoning behind decisions. Clear communication reduces uncertainty and builds trust. Information is the enemy of rumor. The more effectively you communicate with your people, the fewer productivity-killing rumors you’ll have to deal with.

• Inspire: Share a vision that motivates others. A good leader knows how to articulate purpose and drive passion.

6. Build Credibility Over Time

• Consistency: Leadership is earned through long-term behavior, not one-time acts. Be consistent in your character, values, and performance.

• Accountability: Hold yourself accountable for your actions and the outcomes of your team. When things go wrong, accept responsibility; when things go right, share credit.

7. Adaptability

• Embrace Change: Leaders must be flexible and open to new ideas. Being adaptable demonstrates that you’re capable of guiding others through evolving situations.

• Resilience: Show strength in tough times. People look to leaders for confidence and direction when facing adversity.

8. Emotional Intelligence

• Self-Awareness: Understand your own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses. Leaders who are self-aware make better decisions and manage relationships effectively.

• Social Awareness: Recognize group dynamics, understand others’ emotions, and respond appropriately. This skill helps navigate complex interpersonal situations.

These are the qualities and characteristics that will help you earn the right to lead. By consistently embodying these traits, you build trust, respect, and influence. That ensures you have the commitment of the people you lead.

People in leadership positions who lack these qualities and characteristics can attempt to force the compliance of their people, but it’s unlikely they will ever have their commitment.

Not All Leaders Are Leaders

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Okay, here’s my entry for the understatement of the year: There are a lot of people in leadership positions who are poor leaders.

In fact, most people in leadership positions (and I really mean “most”) are barely leaders at all. The prevalence of poor leaders can be attributed to a variety of factors. I believe the single biggest reason is that many, many people in leadership positions have no idea what leadership is actually about.

Leadership is about people. People and only people. Management is about things. It’s about stuff. You manage budgets. You manage inventories. You manage spreadsheets and buildings. But you lead people. When you are in a leadership position and you attempt to manage people, you cause the vast majority of what you think of as personnel issues.

Things like poor attitudes. Poor work ethic. Poor morale, and much, much more. All caused because people resist being managed. You’ve likely heard of many people complaining about being “over-managed. It’s unlikely you’ve ever heard of anyone complaining about being over-led.

The fact is, you can manage people without caring for them. Many people in leadership positions try to do just that. It often produces horrific outcomes but they keep trying nonetheless.

You cannot truly lead people without caring for them. Really caring. Caring so much that you regularly show it. Caring for the people you lead often produces spectacular outcomes. It is fulfilling and rewarding. It’s a huge win for the people being led, for the leader, and for their organizations.

Aside from not understandings the difference between leading and managing, there are additional reasons that so many people in leadership positions don’t actually lead. Some stem from individual traits, others from organizational culture, and broader societal influences. Here are several more reasons why poor leadership is so common.

1. Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Many people in leadership positions lack emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence involves self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication. Without these skills, leaders struggle to manage their own emotions, build meaningful relationships, and inspire their teams. They may focus on their own needs rather than those of their teams.

2. Promotion Based on Technical Skills

In many organizations, employees are promoted to leadership roles based on their technical expertise rather than their ability to lead. A great engineer, accountant, or salesperson may not have the necessary skills to lead people effectively. The Peter Principle highlights this tendency, where people rise to their “level of incompetence.”

3. Inadequate Training and Development

Many leaders do not receive adequate training or mentorship to develop strong leadership skills. Organizations often assume that leadership is an innate ability. In reality, it is a skill that requires continuous learning and practice. Research shows that upwards of 80% of people in leadership positions have less than 60 minutes of formal leadership training. Is it any wonder that they struggle so mightily?

4. Toxic Organizational Cultures

Some organizations have cultures that reward the wrong behaviors. They include aggression, self-interest, or risk avoidance. These environments can foster poor leadership, as individuals who thrive in such cultures often lack qualities like empathy, vision, or ethical decision-making.

5. Overconfidence and Narcissism

Some people in leadership positions are overly confident in their abilities or exhibit narcissistic tendencies. Such leaders may prioritize their own image and success over the welfare of their team. This leads to poor decision-making, a lack of collaboration, and employee dissatisfaction.

6. Short-Term Focus

Leaders may be pressured to deliver short-term results. This often leads them to make decisions that undermine long-term success. This can result in cutting corners, disregarding employee well-being, and overlooking the strategic direction of the organization.

7. Power and Ego

Leadership often comes with power, which can corrupt or inflate a person’s ego. Some people in leadership positions focus on their power and status. They fail to empower their teams or foster collaboration. This often leads to authoritarian styles of leadership, where input from others is dismissed.

8. Cultural and Societal Expectations

In some societies or organizations, leadership qualities like assertiveness or dominance are overly valued. This can promote people who are aggressive or self-serving into leadership roles while overlooking more collaborative, inclusive, and empathetic individuals.

9. Ineffective Feedback Mechanisms

Poor leaders often remain in their positions because there is no effective system for providing feedback or removing them. Organizations may fear confrontation, or leaders may have too much influence, preventing corrective measures from being taken.

10. Failure to Adapt

Poor leaders fail to adapt to changing circumstances, such as shifts in organizational goals, technology, or market conditions. Their inability to evolve or embrace new approaches can lead to stagnation, mismanagement, and discontent within their teams.

Poor leadership is often a result of systemic issues, such as the failure to prioritize leadership development, reward the right behaviors, or create cultures that value strong, empathetic, and visionary leadership.

Those systemic issues set up leaders for failure. They create a repeating cycle. The only way to short-circuit that cycle is to create a culture that focuses on the value of leadership. A culture that develops leaders and sets them up for success. Those leaders develop more leaders.

That sets the organization up for explosive growth.

Every organization needs great management. But, they need great leadership too. Understanding the difference between the two is the first step to having both.

People Matter and They Need to Know It

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Even though I may have never met you, I know something about you that is irrefutable. What I know is that you have a basic human need to know that you matter. That you are significant to someone. That you make a difference in the world.

I would like to think that I don’t personally have that need. In some ways, it almost feels like a weakness to me. Except I know that deep inside, I do have that need. I also know that it absolutely is NOT a weakness. Having that need is simply proof that I am human.

A long time ago, in a land far far away, (and a heck of a lot cooler) I was celebrating my 10th anniversary for a company that I would go on to work at for a couple more decades. For each milestone anniversary, the company would allow you to select a remembrance gift from a catalog.

On the date of my anniversary, the gift was presented to me by a couple of my bosses. One of them was the Director of Sales. I’d bet a million bucks that he wouldn’t remember this, but he said one short, simple sentence to me that I’ll likely never forget. He said, “Thanks for what you do; you make us all better.”

And there it was. Verification that I helped people. I made a difference. What I did mattered. It was recognized and verbalized by someone I greatly respected.

I had dozens and dozens of cards and letters from people, literally from all over the world. They thanked me for helping them and for the difference I had made in their lives. But somehow, having someone look you in the eye and say it to your face was much more powerful.

If you’re a leader, you absolutely must understand that your people NEED to know they matter. That what they do makes a difference. Making certain they know that, without a doubt, is one of the most vital functions of leadership.

A leader can demonstrate to their people that they matter by taking actions that emphasize respect, recognition, and support. Here’s how:

Active Listening:

• Engage in Conversations: A leader should listen attentively to their team members, valuing their input and ideas. This shows that their opinions are respected and considered.

• Respond Thoughtfully: Acknowledge concerns and provide constructive feedback, demonstrating that their voices are heard and valued.

Recognition and Appreciation:

• Celebrate Achievements: Recognize individual and team accomplishments publicly. This could be through awards, shout-outs in meetings, or personalized notes of appreciation.

• Acknowledge Effort: Even when outcomes aren’t perfect, recognizing the effort and dedication shows that the leader values their commitment.

Empowerment:

• Delegate Meaningful Tasks: Trust team members with responsibilities that challenge them and allow for growth. This signals that the leader believes in their capabilities.

• Provide Opportunities for Development: Support their professional growth through training, mentorship, and opportunities to lead projects, showing that their development is important.

Support and Advocacy:

• Be Accessible: Maintain an open-door policy where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, concerns, or ideas.

• Advocate for Their Needs: Stand up for the team’s needs, whether it’s for resources, time, or recognition, demonstrating that their well-being is a priority.

Foster a Positive Culture:

• Promote Inclusivity: Ensure that everyone feels included, respected, and valued, regardless of their role or background.

• Encourage Work-Life Balance: Respect personal time and promote a culture that values health and well-being, showing that the leader cares about their holistic experience.

Lead by Example:

• Demonstrate Integrity and Empathy: By showing fairness, empathy, and consistency in actions, a leader can reinforce the message that everyone matters.

• Be Transparent: Share relevant information and explain decisions to help team members understand the bigger picture, fostering trust and a sense of belonging.

As a leader, you should consistently exhibit these behaviors. They create an environment where people feel valued, respected, and motivated, reinforcing the idea that they matter.

The key word in that sentence is “consistently.” Helping people understand how and why they matter needs to be a part of what you do every day. You don’t do it in your spare time; you don’t do it when you can find the time. You put it at the top of your daily task list. You don’t allow a day to pass without letting at least one member of your organization know how they made a difference. No excuses!

Being a Leader that People Will Want to Follow

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I’ve worked with many people who wanted to be a boss. They would make comments such as, “When I’m the boss, they will have to do what I tell them to do.” They aspired to a position of leadership so they could force people to follow “orders.”

I had a ready-made answer for those people. The answer was, “you may be able to get them to do something, but it’s highly unlikely you’ll get them to do it well.” That’s because the best a boss, or most managers, can hope for is the compliance of their people. Compliant people may do what they are told but they almost never pour their heart and soul into doing it. They are most often “bare minimum doers” who do as little as possible. Most often doing just enough to keep their jobs.

Only committed people do more than required. And despite what many organizations say in their mission statements, their people are NOT committed to the organization. That’s because people can only commit to other people. Commitment is very personal. Humans don’t make commitments to their cars. Their houses, their boats, or anything. Not even the place they work at.

They make commitments to other people. So long as they know those people are also committed to them. Most bosses and managers do not possess the characteristics required to build committed relationships with their people. Authentic Leaders do.

People may be forced to comply with a boss, but they want to follow an Authentic Leader. They want to perform well for their leader. They will indeed make a huge effort, consistently doing more than is required of them.

Authentic Leaders create an Authentic Followership. It’s from those followers that they grow more leaders.

It all begins with being the type of leader that people will want to follow. Being a leader that people want to follow does not necessarily require holding a position of authority. It does require building trust, demonstrating integrity, and inspiring others.

If your goal is to be an Authentic Leader, one who others will be excited to follow, then here are some key principles to consider.

You lead by example. Integrity is vital when leading by example. Whether you realize it or not, you ARE leading by example. You must show honesty and consistency in your actions. Follow through on your promises, and adhere to the same standards you expect from others.

If you want dedication and commitment from your people, then you must demonstrate dedication and commitment. People are more likely to respect a leader who works as hard as they do.

Communication reigns supreme. Keep your team informed about important decisions and changes. Clear, honest communication builds trust and reduces uncertainty. There is some information that must remain private, but not much. Withholding information which could be shared does not make you more powerful; it makes your team weaker.

And remember, effective communicators are also excellent listeners. So pay attention to the ideas, concerns, and feedback of your team members. This not only helps you understand their perspectives but also makes them feel valued.

Empowerment is more than a buzz word. Trust your team with responsibilities and give them the autonomy to complete tasks. This not only fosters growth but also shows that you have confidence in their abilities. This is a vital step in building more leaders in your organization. If you’re a micromanager, then you’d best be prepared to accept micro accomplishments from your people.

Never stop investing in your team’s professional growth. Offer opportunities for learning and development, and provide the resources they need to succeed. As an Authentic Leader, your own success is completely dependent upon the success of your people. Keep the focus on developing your people, and they will help you and the organization succeed.

Consistently inspire and motivate the people you lead. No one is going to commit to following you until they know where you’re going. Articulate a clear and compelling vision that inspires others to contribute. When people understand the bigger picture, they are more motivated to work toward common goals.

If you want enthusiastic followers, then show enthusiasm for your work. Passion is contagious, and when your team sees your genuine excitement, they are more likely to share it.

Show your people that you truly care. One of the greatest truths of leadership is that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care… about them. Be aware of your team members’ individual needs and challenges. Show empathy in difficult situations and be supportive when they need it.

Foster, at all times, a culture of respect, inclusivity, and collaboration. A positive work environment leads to higher morale and stronger team cohesion.

Be a decider. Make informed decisions in a timely manner. Even when tough choices are necessary, being decisive helps maintain momentum and confidence. Once you’ve made the decision, take responsibility for your actions and the outcomes of your decisions. Admit mistakes when they happen, and focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame.

Everything you say and do either adds to or subtracts from your credibility. Be reliable in your actions and decisions. Consistency builds trust, as your team will know what to expect from you. Treat everyone with fairness and impartiality. Avoid favoritism, and ensure that all team members have equal opportunities.

People need recognition. Regularly recognize and celebrate the achievements of your team. Public acknowledgment boosts morale and motivates others to excel. Consistently show appreciation for the efforts of your team members. A simple thank-you can go a long way in making people feel valued.

By developing these characteristics, you’ll create a culture where people feel motivated, respected, and eager to follow your lead. Authentic Leadership is about inspiring and guiding others to reach their full potential. When done right, it can lead to tremendous success for both individuals and the team as a whole.

Learning to Lead

Steve Keating Leave a comment

In our last post, we discussed why so many people who are promoted into leadership positions fail to actually lead. One of the big reasons is simply that they don’t know how to lead. And no one shows them. The vast vast majority of people in leadership positions never receive even one minute of formal leadership training.

So I suggested that if you find yourself with the opportunity to lead, you shouldn’t wait for your company, organization, or anyone else to teach you to lead. You should take the initiative and learn to lead on your own.

I received a bunch of feedback from people telling me that they couldn’t do that. In fact, they said there was nothing they could do. They were doomed to muddle through the best they could.

So let’s get something clear right from the start. There is ALWAYS something you can do. No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter how you got there, no matter if you put yourself into that situation or you were put there by someone else, there is ALWAYS something you can do.

There is probably no more limiting belief in life than the belief that you are powerless over any situation in your life. If you buy into that belief, you will be unlikely to ever live your best life or come close to reaching your full potential.

You may need some help, it’s likely in fact. You could benefit from a mentor, coach, or close friend to help you strategize your way through whatever situation you’re dealing with. But never lose sight of this amazing truth: there is ALWAYS something YOU can do.

So, what does that something look like when it comes to learning to lead? That’s an interesting question because neither I nor anyone else can teach you to lead. I can share with you the characteristics of an Authentic Leader, I can offer ideas on how to develop those characteristics for yourself. I can even advise on more effective human relations approaches for dealing with people. But I can’t actually teach someone how to lead.

Using their own personality and skills, they must teach themselves the most effective way to lead others.

That will involve developing a range of people skills, characteristics, and attitudes. Here are some ideas to help you on this journey towards Authentic Leadership.

1. Self-Awareness and Self-Improvement

• Assess Strengths and Weaknesses: Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses is crucial. Tools such as personality tests, 360-degree feedback, and self-reflection can be helpful. Being 100% honest with yourself is vital here.

• Set Personal Goals: Identify areas for improvement and set specific, measurable goals to work on. Then work on them EVERY SINGLE DAY.

• Seek Feedback: Regularly ask for feedback from peers, mentors, and team members to understand how you can improve. Don’t be even a little defensive when accepting this feedback. If you’ve asked the right people, they’re legitimately trying to help you.

2. Learning and Development

• Education and Training: Take courses in leadership, management, communication, and other relevant areas. Online platforms, universities, and workshops offer valuable resources.

• Read Widely: Read books, articles, and case studies on leadership to learn from others’ experiences. Read constantly, read consistently, and never stop reading.

• Learn from Leaders: Study the behaviors and strategies of successful leaders in your field. Authentic Leaders lead by example; one of the best ways to teach yourself to lead is to closely watch those who already lead authentically.

3. Practical Experience

• Take on Leadership Roles: Seek out opportunities to lead, whether in your job, community, or other activities. Volunteer for projects or committees where you can practice leadership skills. Leadership is a skill that’s learned by doing, so do.

• Start Small: Begin with smaller leadership roles and gradually take on more responsibility as you build confidence and competence.

• Reflect on Experiences: After leading a project or team, reflect on what went well and what could be improved. Doing a “debrief” with yourself and a mentor or coach is crucial to self-improvement.

4. Develop Key Skills

• Communication: Work on both verbal and written communication. Effective leaders are good listeners and clear communicators.

• Decision-Making: Practice making decisions, both small and large, and learn to weigh the pros and cons effectively.

• Conflict Resolution: Learn techniques for resolving conflicts and managing difficult conversations.

• Emotional Intelligence: Develop the ability to understand and manage your own emotions and those of others. As I’ve said thousands of times, leadership is about people. People, including you, are emotional. To master leadership, you must master your emotions.

5. Building Relationships

• Networking: Build a strong network of contacts within and outside your organization. Networking can provide support, advice, and opportunities.

• Mentorship: Seek out mentors who can provide guidance and support. Being a mentor to others can also develop your leadership skills.

• Team Building: Learn how to build and maintain high-performing teams. This includes understanding team dynamics and fostering a collaborative environment.

6. Demonstrating Leadership

• Lead by Example: Model the behavior you expect from others. Integrity, accountability, and a strong work ethic are essential.

• Empower Others: Encourage and support team members to take the initiative and develop their own leadership skills. You don’t have to be at the top of your organization to begin the process of building more leaders. Start where you are and begin with whatever skills you possess today.

• Adaptability: Be open to change and willing to adapt your leadership style to different situations and team needs. No two people are truly identical. You’ll need to make adjustments early and often if you’re going to succeed as a leader.

7. Continuous Improvement

• Stay Informed: Keep up with trends and developments in your industry and in leadership practices.

• Adapt and Evolve: Be willing to change and improve your leadership approach based on new insights and feedback. Becoming an Authentic Leader is a journey. The moment you think you’re good enough, you’re no longer good enough. The moment you think you’ve arrived, you’ve missed the boat. Never never never stop evolving because when it comes to leadership, the last thing you want to be is good enough.

If it sounds like Authentic Leadership requires a lot of effort, you are correct. It absolutely does. But the rewards are beyond incredible. Helping someone is great. But, helping them become a leader means you’re also helping them help another person, someone you may never know. That’s phenomenal!

So I highly encourage you to make the effort. You will never regret that you did.

When the Boss is a Bully

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There are three types of people who have authority over others in the workplace. One is an Authentic Leader. This type of individual is a joy to work with. They care as much about the success of the people they lead as they do about their own success. They work tirelessly to help people reach their full potential, both at work and in life.

The second is a manager. They often think of themselves as leaders, but leading and managing are two very different things. The managers are typically more concerned with process than with people. They get stuff done, but in a much more tactical way than a leader would. They are not necessarily bad to work for, but it’s not as rewarding an experience as working with a leader.

Then there is the boss. Bosses are not usually great at managing, and they are even worse at leading. It’s not that they want to be, but if they have worked for a bad boss in the past, they are very likely to be a bad boss themselves. That doesn’t make them bad people; it just limits their ability to help people grow while getting stuff done.

But just as there are “levels” of leadership and managing, there are also levels of bossing. And no level of boss is worse than the boss who is a bully too.

Dealing with a bully is hard. It’s especially hard when the bully is your boss. Here are some steps to at least make an attempt at handling that situation.

• Stay Calm. Keep your composure and try not to react emotionally. It’s essential to maintain professionalism in any confrontation. Obviously, this is easier said than done. None of us want to be somebody’s doormat. It’s instinctive to stand up for yourself. But you must rise above your lowly bully boss and be as professional as possible in all circumstances.

• Document Everything. Keep a detailed record of the incidents. Jot down dates, times, what was said or done, and any witnesses present. This documentation can be crucial if you need to escalate the issue later.

• Understand the Motivation. Try to understand why your boss is acting this way. Sometimes, their behavior might stem from personal issues, stress, or insecurity. Understanding their motivation can help you devise a more effective strategy for dealing with them. Don’t merely dismiss them as being a jerk; they might be, or it might be something entirely different causing them to be difficult.

• Set Boundaries. Politely but firmly assert your boundaries. Let your boss know that their behavior is not acceptable to you. Be assertive without being confrontational. Let them know when they have crossed a line. You may need to remind them more than once. Only you can determine when “enough is enough” and it’s become time to escalate. If one time equals “enough is enough” for you, that’s fine. It doesn’t make you weak or a quitter or anything else. It only makes you someone who is protecting your own mental health, and that’s never a bad thing.

• Seek Support. Talk to someone you trust about the situation, such as a colleague, HR representative, or mentor. They might offer valuable advice or support.

• Address the Issue Directly. If you feel comfortable, consider having a private conversation with your boss to address their behavior. Choose a time when both of you are calm and free from distractions. Use “I” statements to express how their actions are impacting you, e.g., “I feel uncomfortable when…”

• Utilize Company Policies. If the bullying persists or escalates, familiarize yourself with your company’s policies regarding harassment and workplace behavior. Consider reporting the behavior to HR or a higher-level manager. Again, this does not mean you’re a tattletale or any kind of loser. The policies exist because, as long as there have been bosses, there have been bosses who were bullies. Use the policies to your benefit because it’s very likely you’re benefiting others in your organization as well.

• Explore Other Options. If the situation does not improve and your well-being continues to suffer, you may need to explore other job opportunities. No job is worth sacrificing your mental health. Resist the very human temptation to seek revenge on your way out the door. That’s not going to “fix” the boss, and in the long run it may cause you more regrets than the short-term satisfaction of revenge is worth.

Remember, you have rights in the workplace, and no one should have to endure bullying behavior, regardless of the perpetrator’s position. Never forget how valuable you are, both within the workplace and outside of it too. Don’t allow a bully to cause you to doubt that reality. You matter, you are special, you make a difference for people. A bully saying otherwise will never change those facts.