Tag Gratitude

How to Lift Your Spirits

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I think everyone feels a little blue from time to time. Some people simply hide it better than others. There are lots of reasons why that happens and all of them are associated with this thing we call life.

Most of the time, we get past the blues without taking any specific action. Something good happens, and we snap out of it. But sometimes, the blues hang around a little longer than they should. Long enough in fact, that they start to cause us problems.

Problems with our attitudes. Problems with our productivity and creativity. We might procrastinate more than normal. We might even start to have relationship issues.

If any of those things are happening to you, then it may be time to proactively pull yourself back towards your peak performance. Here’s a handful of suggestions to make that happen.

1. Physical Activity: Exercise isn’t just good for your body; it’s a proven mood booster. Go for a run, lift some weights, or even dance like nobody’s watching. Endorphins are your friends, so do something, anything to get yourself moving. Sitting on the couch just ain’t gonna get it done.

2. Sunlight: Get some natural light. It helps regulate your serotonin levels, which can significantly improve your mood. Even if it’s cloudy, just being outside can help.

3. Connect with Others: Humans are social creatures. Call a friend, have a real conversation, or, better yet, meet up if you can. Social interaction can be incredibly uplifting.

4. Gratitude Practice: This might sound cliché, but writing down three things you’re grateful for each day can shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s already there. This is a bigger deal than you may think. An “attitude of gratitude” can “fix” a whole lot of problems in your life; in fact, it can eliminate them altogether.

5. Limit News and Social Media: Sometimes, the world’s chaos can seep into your psyche. Take breaks from news cycles and the endless scroll of social media. Despite what you may see, hear, and read, the world isn’t ending today. I know that for a fact because it’s already tomorrow in Australia, so the rest of us “non-Aussies” have at least one more day. Let’s all make the most of it.

6. Creative Expression: Whether it’s drawing, writing, music, or any form of art, creating something can be therapeutic. It doesn’t have to be good; it just has to be done.

7. Set Small Goals: Achieving something, no matter how small, can give you a sense of accomplishment. Clean your room, cook a meal, or finish a chapter of a book. A surprisingly simple way to get your day off to a great start is to make your bed. Yep, start your day by making your bed and you’ve accomplished something before you even left the house.

8. Help Someone Else: Sometimes, lifting others can lift you. Volunteer, help a neighbor, or just do something kind for someone else. If you really want to boost your mood, do that something kind for someone else without them finding out it was you who did it. That’s harder than you think because we all like credit for doing something good. But it makes a huge difference for you if you just did it because it was the right thing to do.

These 8 suggestions are easy to do and they work. But here’s the thing, they are short-term solutions. If you find yourself constantly down in the dumps, that is not a good thing. It may be considerably more serious and if that’s the case, these ideas are much less likely to help. It’s entirely possible that you would benefit from professional help. If you’re really struggling, there’s no shame in seeking professional help. No shame at all, NONE. I’d even say it’s an incredibly courageous thing to do. Therapists are trained to help you navigate through tough times; it’s silly not to use their expertise when they are available to help you.

Remember, it’s okay to not be okay; it’s a sure sign you’re human. But it’s also okay to take active steps to feel better. Life’s a bit like a roller coaster; sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, but with any luck, the ride’s not over yet.

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How to Deal With Ungrateful People

Steve Keating Leave a comment

It sure does seem as if there are some people who you just can’t make happy. There are people who, no matter how much you do for them, it’s never enough. In fact, it feels as if the more you do, the less they appreciate it. All that can be incredibly frustrating.

The first thing to realize is that they have a problem, not you. Their low EQ or narcissistic behavior is their problem. Their unappreciative nature while frustrating to you, will cause them to miss out on many opportunities in life, both their personal life and their professional lives. When you stop and think about it, which is hard to do sometimes, but when you stop and think about it, it’s really sad for them. They miss out on the joy created from a grateful heart. They don’t get to experience the pleasure of knowing that there are people in the world who care enough for them to help them, while expecting nothing in return.

Ungrateful people miss some of the best parts of life.

But knowing that doesn’t necessarily make it easier for you to help ungrateful people. So here’s a few ideas to overcome the challenges of dealing with ingratitude.

Adjust Expectations. Recognize that not everyone will express gratitude in the same way or at all. Adjusting your expectations can help minimize disappointment. One of the principles from Dale Carnegie’s all time best seller, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” says to “Expect ingratitude.” That way when someone shows appreciation or displays a grateful heart, it’s a bonus. When they appear to take your kindness for granted you can just shake it off and maintain control over your positive attitude.

Focus on Intentions. Don’t seek validation. Focus on your intentions and the joy of helping others. Their response doesn’t matter. If you were doing the right things for the right reasons then someone else’s ingratitude can’t change the “rightness” of what you’ve done. Never let someone else’s ungrateful heart still your joy of serving others.

Practice Self-Validation. Remind yourself of your worth and the value of your actions, even if they go unrecognized by others. Part of “giving” is expecting nothing in return, not even a thank you, although that sure is nice. If you are doing something with the expectation of receiving something in return, then you might be making a trade but you aren’t truly giving.

Communicate. If ingratitude becomes a pattern in a relationship, consider calmly expressing how it makes you feel. Discuss ways to improve communication and appreciation. The key word here is calmly. That means no sarcasm and no snarky comments.

Set Boundaries. If ingratitude becomes toxic or abusive, you may need to reassess the relationship. Set boundaries to protect yourself. Sooner or later we all have to realize that enough is enough. Needing some validation that what you’re doing for someone else is worthwhile, doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

Gratitude Journaling. Cultivate gratitude within yourself by keeping a journal where you write down things you’re grateful for. This will help you focus on the positive aspects of life. Include the things you’re able to do for others. Just because someone else may not be grateful for the things you do, doesn’t mean you can’t be grateful for those things.

You do the right things for the right reasons. Remind yourself of that. Then, you’ll be better prepared to deal with people who struggle to show appreciation. Just never forget, their apparent lack of gratitude is a reflection of who they are, not you and the effort you’ve put forth.

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How to be More Appreciative

Steve Keating 2 Comments

What’s the first thing you do every morning? Is it checking your email? Maybe it’s checking your text messages. How about perhaps checking your thinking? Yep, I said thinking!

While I understand how tempting it is to grab the phone and check messages if you want a happier and more productive 2024 I highly recommend resisting that temptation. Instead check the first thought that’s in your head. If you’re lucky, that first thought will be about something you appreciate. If it’s not then I suggest you instantly replace that thought with one about something or someone you do appreciate.

When your first thought of the day is one of gratitude and appreciation the rest of your thoughts that day will be better because of it. How you begin your day really does impact the rest of your day. There will certainly be days where it feels as if your life is out of your control but there will never be a day that you can’t begin with a grateful heart.

But yes, I am once again aware that this is often easier said than done. But it is not impossible. Appreciating what you have instead of always wanting more is a mindset that involves cultivating gratitude and mindfulness. Here are some practical ideas to help you develop this perspective. Its a perspective that will not only change how you look at things, it’s likely to change the things you look at.

Practice Gratitude:

• Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. Consider starting a gratitude journal where you write down three things you’re thankful for every day. This can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. The new journal app on iPhones makes this super easy to do.

Think the Here and Now:

• Engage in thinking that brings your attention to the present moment. This can help you appreciate the current state of your life rather than getting lost in thoughts about the future or past.

Reflect on Achievements:

• Remind yourself of your accomplishments and the progress you’ve made. Reflecting on your achievements can provide a sense of fulfillment and contentment.

Set Realistic Goals:

• While having goals is important, ensure they are realistic and achievable. Setting unattainable goals may lead to a perpetual feeling of discontent. Celebrate small victories along the way.

Limit Social Comparison:

• Avoid constantly comparing yourself to others, especially in terms of material possessions or social status. Everyone’s journey is unique, and external markers of success may not necessarily bring happiness.

Thoughtful Consumption:

• Be mindful of your consumption habits. Consider whether the things you desire are driven by genuine needs or societal pressures. Practicing thoughtful consumption can lead to a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Volunteer or Give Back:

• Engaging in acts of kindness or volunteering can shift your focus from what you lack to what you can give. Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and gratitude.

Savor the Moment:

• Take time to savor the simple pleasures in life. Whether it’s a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, or a moment of quiet reflection, appreciating these small moments can enhance your overall sense of contentment.

Cultivate Contentment:

• Make a conscious effort to cultivate contentment in your life. This involves recognizing and accepting the present moment without constantly yearning for something more.

Regular Reflection:

• Periodically reflect on your life, values, and priorities. This self-reflection can help you align your desires with what truly matters to you, fostering a greater sense of appreciation for the present.

Appreciating what you have is an ongoing practice that requires effort and self-awareness. By incorporating these ideas into your daily life, you can shift your perspective and find greater satisfaction in the things and people you already have in your life. It’s entirely possible you’ll discover that you’ve already achieved a level of success beyond what you imagined could.

The Power of Gratitude

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Of all the attributes successful people possess few are more important than a grateful heart.

Back in my days of working with the Dale Carnegie Organization there was a 50 something guy in one of our classes who looked very successful. He obviously had money, drove his choice of the many fancy cars he owned. He had houses (notice I didn’t say homes) around the world in which he could live comfortably. At first glance he appeared to have it all.

But it was never enough. He was one of the most unhappy and “relationship poor” people I had ever met.

The stories he told were in stark contrast to the ones told by a 30 something guy with 5 kids. It seemed as if every example from the younger man was laced with struggles and challenges that the older man knew nothing about. His stories were also filled with something else missing from the older man’s…a grateful heart.

He appreciated the opportunity every challenge presented him. He appreciated the chance to learn and overcome obstacles which he knew would better prepare him for the future. He found “the silver lining” in every cloud.

It was in that particular 12 week Dale Carnegie course that I learned about the true power of gratefulness.

The older, more successful appearing man in the 12 week program knew nothing of his gifts. He knew little of his actual strengths, and he had long ago surrendered his power to be happy.

The younger man’s thoughts were focused on appreciating what he had, not what he wanted. He was thankful for what he was able to earn. Thankful for his God given gifts that made it possible for him to support his family. Thankful for his one overcrowded home in a modest neighborhood and I suspect thankful every time his 20 year old car actually started.

He was happy and as far as he was concerned, one of the richest people on earth.

Now I ask you…which of those two men was the most successful?

You may find this difficult to believe if you find yourself struggling. You will find it hard to believe if you’re a “keeping up with the Joneses” type person. But your greatest happiness is within you, not in chasing what you’re without.

Practice gratefulness each day. Absolutely work hard for your dreams but make time each day to also appreciate what you already have.

If you find it hard to be grateful for what you have today it’s very likely you’ll find it just as hard to be grateful for what you may have tomorrow. It has been my experience that an ungrateful heart is also an unhappy one.

“Things” will never make you happy but the power of gratitude most certainly will. If nothing else, be grateful for that.

Thanksgiving Is Better as a Verb

Steve Keating 4 Comments

Once a year the United States stops for a day to give thanks. That day of thanks is known as Thanksgiving Day. In the English language Thanksgiving is used as a name therefore it’s a noun.

 

But in a twist that causes great confusion for people attempting to learn the English language “Thanksgiving” is also an action which means it’s a verb. 

 

Which one is it for you? Is Thanksgiving a day you don’t have to work or is thanksgiving something you do?

 

Stopping for a day to reflect on all we have to be thankful for is fine but living a life full of thankfulness is better. The challenge is, at least for me, is that we take soooooo much for granted. 

 

The fact that a day is set aside to give thanks somehow seems to make it okay to give thanks one day a year. But we all know that’s not okay. So here’s an idea….

 

Since smartphones are such a big part of our life let’s use them to help us remember to live a life of thankfulness. When I open the calendar on my iPhone it says “Thanksgiving Day” on only one day a year. 

 

I’m going to scatter “Thanksgiving Day” throughout the year on my calendar. I’m going to use that device I look at many times a day to remind myself that Thanksgiving is best when it’s a verb and not merely a noun. I’d add Thanksgiving to everyday except for the fact that if I saw it everyday it wouldn’t be long before I didn’t even notice it anymore. 

 

I’d never presume to tell you what you have to be thankful for but I am certain that no matter your situation you have many things and people if your life that you would miss horribly if they were gone. 


Be thankful for them!


The Lost Art of Thank You Notes

Steve Keating 13 Comments

So, in my last post I wrote about saying “Thank You.” As powerful as a sincere verbal thank you can be it’s magnified tenfold when it’s written down. So I want to take my last post a step further and suggest that you do more than merely say thank you, I’d encourage you to at least occasionally write your “Thank You” down, like in a note, with a pen, handwritten. Just like the old days.

 

I know that seems really old fashioned to a whole lot of people reading this and it may seem like a huge waste of time when you can just send a quick email or an even quicker text. But I assure you, it’s anything but a waste of time. 

 

You may think taking the extra five minutes to hand write a card and toss it in the mail (for those of you who have never done this “the mail” is those blue kinda curvy topped boxes you see sitting on street corners here and there) is a waste of time but I’m betting big time that if you received one you wouldn’t think it was a waste of time at all. You would appreciate, maybe greatly appreciate, the extra effort it took the person to send it to you. 

 

There was a time when I frequently suggested to people that they send 7 Thank You cards a week. I used to do that religiously; I’ve somehow gotten away from that and it’s truly a shame. People used to comment to me all the time about how much they appreciated the thoughtfulness. 

 

I still send a fair amount of “Thank You’s,” I just do it by email and I almost never hear a word about thoughtfulness. 

 

So I just went and bought a box of Thank You Notes (it was nice to see they still sell them in stores) and a book of stamps. It’s positively retro! I’m going to start slow and commit to sending one a week, every week. I’ll try to do more but over-committing is a sure way to kill any momentum I might develop.

 

Will you join me in rediscovering this lost art? No one’s handwriting is worse than mine so don’t try using that as an excuse; like those Nike people say… Just do it!


My grandfather used to sell cards in his store, I still remember a sign by the cards he sold. It said “Costs so little yet means so much.” Those words still hold true today; make a difference in someone’s life today, drop them a note and let them know they matter.