Giving and Receiving Constructive Feedback

June 4, 2023June 3, 2023Steve Keating Leave a comment

Giving and receiving constructive feedback is an important skill in both personal and professional relationships. It helps us to learn and grow. It gives us a chance to improve our performance. It can also build stronger connections between the giver and receiver of the feedback. Authentic Leaders know that constructive feedback is fuel for growth. They seldom miss an opportunity to provide that fuel to their people. Even when the feedback can be somewhat difficult to deliver, they press on.

But not in a haphazard or “off the cuff” fashion. Their feedback is thoughtful and well planned. They know that feedback can be easily misconstrued so they choose their words carefully. Here are some additional considerations of Authentic Leaders as they prepare to provide feedback to their people.

Find a suitable environment where both parties can have privacy. Feedback conversations require focus without distractions.

Clearly identify the behavior or situation you want to address. Provide specific examples to support your feedback. Always avoid making generalizations or personal attacks.

Start by acknowledging the person’s strengths and accomplishments. This helps create a positive tone and shows that you value their efforts. Then, provide suggestions for improvement, focusing on the behavior rather than the person.

Instead of telling someone exactly what to do, explain the impact of their actions. Offer suggestions for alternative approaches. Encourage them to find their own solutions and take ownership of their development.

Frame your feedback using “I” statements to express your perspective and feelings rather than making assumptions or accusations. This helps avoid putting the other person on the defensive and fosters open communication.

Maintain a respectful and supportive tone throughout the conversation. Show empathy by considering the person’s feelings and perspective, and be mindful of how your words may be received.

Authentic Leaders don’t just give feedback. They actively seek feedback on their own performance. They develop a level of trust with their people so that their people can openly and honestly help them become better leaders.

Many people, even those who are effective at providing feedback, struggle with receiving it. Here’s a few ideas to help with receiving feedback that at times may be hard to hear.

Create an environment that encourages feedback by actively listening without becoming defensive. Remind yourself that feedback is an opportunity for growth and improvement.

Seek clarification. If you don’t fully understand the feedback or need more information, ask questions to gain clarity. This demonstrates your willingness to learn and shows that you value the other person’s input.

It’s natural to feel defensive or upset when receiving feedback, especially if it highlights areas for improvement. Take a moment to collect your thoughts, and focus on staying calm and composed.

Instead of making excuses or justifying your actions, try to understand the perspective of the person giving feedback. Consider their points objectively and look for areas where you can learn and grow.

Show appreciation for the feedback received, as it reflects someone’s effort to help you improve. Thank the person for their insights and for taking the time to provide feedback.

Reflect on the feedback and develop an action plan to address the areas of improvement. Seek support or resources if needed, and communicate your progress to the person who gave you feedback.

Remember, constructive feedback is meant to help individuals grow and develop. It’s important to approach these conversations with a positive and constructive mindset. That’s true whether you’re giving or receiving the feedback.

These suggestions are by no means all encompassing. But they can help you build stronger relationships and continuously improve yourself and others.

As always, giving and receiving feedback is a choice you must make for yourself. Just be aware that the most successful people always “opt in” when it comes to feedback.

Your People NEED to Know

April 4, 2019April 4, 2019Steve Keating 4 Comments

Most organizations know how important it is to provide feedback to their people. That is why they schedule an annual review for all of their people. In some organizations it is a very formal process and in others it is far more casual.

Good leaders will keep track of the strengths and weaknesses of their people throughout the year so they can provide meaningful feedback during the review process.

Great leaders would never do that.

Great leaders wouldn’t do that because they provide feedback for their people constantly. They don’t wait for a review process. They help their people grow everyday. They don’t just tell their people how and what to do, they show them.

Great leaders are models of successful behavior.

These same great leaders know that their people not only want to know how they are doing, they need to know. They need to know whether or not they are meeting the expectations of their leader. They need to know that their performance is making a difference for the organization. They need to know they would be missed if they were to leave.

And they need to know all of that more than once a year. Way more.

If you’re a leader who waits for an annual review to give feedback to your people then you’re limiting their potential for success. You’re causing unneeded stress which often leads to lower productivity.

I recommend you schedule time in your day to provide consistent meaningful feedback in a casual setting. Your people will appreciate your insights. They will appreciate the consistency. They will appreciate knowing… knowing that they are making a difference and knowing that they are doing it in a way that is recognized.

They will even appreciate knowing where they may be falling short.

Don’t wait to provide feedback because your people need to know!

Are You’re To Critical?

June 21, 2018June 21, 2018Steve Keating 13 Comments

I’m betting there are a whole lot of people who, even if they are reading this sentence, are only paying partial attention to it.

They are only partially focused on it because they can’t get past the poor spelling in the title. The two mistakes in the title have tainted the entire post for them. Some people won’t read the post at all because of the grammar issues. They assume that there is little to learn from anyone who uses “you’re” where “your” should have been used. Using “to” in place of “too” likely sent them over the edge.

Thank you to those of you who have hung around long enough to give me a chance to explain.

The “mistakes” in the title are not really mistakes. I used those words to make a point. The point is that when we are too critical of other people we lose the opportunity to learn from them.

The most open minded successful people look past imperfections and use what they can to learn from everyone they meet. They realize that just because someone may misuse a word here and there or misspell a word now and then it doesn’t mean that everything they say or write should be dismissed.

No one is perfect, no one knows everything and everyone makes mistakes. It doesn’t mean that they are not knowledgeable or that their opinion is less valuable than anyone else’s.

The most successful people and the most effective leaders know that everyone knows something that they don’t. That means they can learn from anyone and that’s exactly what they do.

Every viewpoint and opposing opinion teaches you something if you can keep an open mind. In fact, you’ll learn more from people who think differently than you then you’ll ever learn from people who think just like you.

Yes, typos, misspelled and misused words distract from the message. Using the wrong word in a presentation or a sentence lessens it’s impact but….. for a leader those are coaching opportunities, not a reason to dismiss the entire message. It most certainly does not diminish the value of the person making the mistake.

Anybody can find fault with someone else, it takes a leader to see the strengths in everyone. If you’re focusing too much on the mistakes of others you’re also making it much harder to learn from what they do well. That is YOUR mistake and one that YOU should work on before you try eliminating the mistakes of others.

The Need for Feedback

July 9, 2017July 9, 2017Steve Keating 4 Comments

Some people want feedback on their performance and some people don’t. But if you’re a leader you need to understand this basic fact: ALL people NEED feedback. At least if their performance is going to improve in any significant way.

As a leader it is vital that you provide that feedback if you want your people to grow. By the way, if you don’t want you people to grow then stop calling yourself a leader. Just sayin’.

This feedback must be fairly consistent and very specific. It can be “scheduled” like during an annual review but it can also be spontaneous, occurring in the moment that you think feedback would be helpful. I should also point out here that if you are providing feedback only during those scheduled annual reviews you’re likely not providing your people with nearly enough feedback to be truly helpful.

Let’s talk about specific feedback. “You need to improve” is NOT feedback, that’s criticism. Feedback involves much more detail. Be as specific as possible about where and how the improvement must occur. Let your people know how you will determine if the improvement has happened. Provide a timeline on when the improvement needs to happen and set a specific date and time to provide updated feedback to confirm that you’ve seen the required change.

Do not ever tell someone they need to improve in a particular area by the end of the month and then leave them wondering if you think their improvement has been sufficient. You need to follow up with additional feedback.

I wonder sometimes if the reason so many “leaders” are poor at providing feedback is that they feel giving feedback could lead to confrontation. If you’re a leader who feels that way it could be because you see feedback as something you only provide when improvement or corrective action is required. However, the best leaders provide feedback in all circumstances, bad and good!

It seems most every leader understands the some sort of feedback is required when improvement is needed. What many forget is the it’s also great to provide feedback when things are going well. When you give feedback for a job well done you reinforce the successful actions of your entire team, even if the feedback was provided to a single individual. Feedback for successful actions also needs to be specific, “nice job” barely qualifies as a compliment much less feedback. Tell the person WHY it was a nice job, share with them specifically where they went right and encourage them to continue the effort.

A couple of key points here; obviously feedback given to promote corrective action or improvement is best given in private, between you and the person you’re trying to help. Feedback for positive reinforcement can and probably should be given publicly to display a model of successful effort.

Now, back to where we started, some people want your feedback and some people will “resist” your feedback so don’t attempt to force your people to drink from the well of feedback rather inspire them to have a mighty thirst for it.

You inspire them to thirst for feedback by showing them you truly care. By showing them that you have THEIR best interests in mind.

When your people know the feedback is intended FOR them and not directed AT them they will likely become much more receptive.

One last thing for those of you on the receiving side of feedback. I’ve never in my life received negative feedback. The feedback I received may well have been intended to be negative, I simply refused to receive it that way. That’s a choice and it’s one I would encourage you to make as well.

The Value of Employee Recognition

August 25, 2016August 24, 2016Steve Keating 4 Comments

Pretty much every business owner or leader I know would proudly say that one of their greatest assets, if not their outright greatest asset, is their people. They willingly acknowledge the importance of their people in virtually every area of their operation.

Those same owners and leaders will then somewhat sheepishly say that they just don’t have time to provide consistent recognition to those important people.

When asked what they are doing that’s more important than recognizing their people they have no response. That leads me to believe that whatever they are doing is less important than recognizing their people. Any leader who does less important things before the more important things is greatly limiting their success.

People need recognition almost as much as they need air to breathe. People need to know that they matter and the work they do matters. It is almost humanly impossible for a person to perform up to their potential without some form of recognition to confirm that what they do is worthwhile.

I’m not suggesting that you give recognition where none is due; what I am recommending is that you look a little deeper at your team to find a valid reason for providing positive feedback. I’d also say that if you have someone working for you that has gone any length of time without providing you with a reason to recognize them then perhaps they are in the wrong role.

Many leaders who read this will evaluate their own recognition efforts and be comfortable that they provide recognition to their people whenever they have time. Some leaders provide recognition in their free time, some in their spare time and some in their extra time.

What they fail to realize is that there is no free, spare, or extra time on their calendars so they rarely if ever provide their people with the recognition they so desperately need. They think they do until they are asked when exactly was the last time they provided meaningful recognition to one of their people. (Here’s a hint; if you don’t know when the last time was that you provided recognition to a member of your team then it’s been too long)

Many of the most effective leaders I know recognize at least one of their people everyday. They set reminders for themselves, they are always on the lookout for what goes right and they seldom miss an opportunity to give credit where credit is due.

If you’re looking for ways to motivate your team, if you’re looking for ways to keep your people engaged, if you want your people to know that their efforts matter then don’t overlook the importance of providing consistent meaningful feedback and recognition.

Recognizer in Chief is one of the most important roles of a leader. It’s also too often the most forgotten. Don’t forget, recognize someone today!

How to Feed Your Ego

November 20, 2015November 16, 2015Steve Keating Leave a comment

Do you have an ego? If you’re reading this then it’s likely you have a pulse and if you have a pulse then you most certainly have an ego.

That’s not a problem, the problem comes from not understanding that having an ego is as normal as breathing.

As a leader you must remember that your people have egos and their ego needs to be fed with recognition and feedback. Hungry egos lead to unproductive, disengaged followers and no leader can afford that. Consider feeding your people’s egos to be an investment in them and your organization.

While feeding your people’s ego you must also remember that you have an ego too. Just like everyone else’s it must be fed. You may be working for a limited leader who doesn’t offer recognition or feedback. Maybe you’re leading from the middle of the organization where your efforts are largely hidden.

In either case, it may be necessary for you to feed your own ego. Having a hungry ego does not make you weak, it doesn’t make you selfish and it doesn’t make you an egomaniac. It simply makes you human.

Here are a few ideas on how you may feed your own ego.

Discover satisfaction wherever and whenever you can. Be satisfied knowing the real reason for the success of your team or the success of a project. If you know the reason it’s a safe bet others do as well, whether they acknowledge it or not.

Accept the compliments, wherever they come from. You may not be receiving compliments from your boss or leader but hey, a compliment is a compliment. Accept them graciously because if you’re hungry enough it doesn’t really matter where the food is coming from.

Understand the value of what you do. Oftentimes people aren’t appreciated until they are gone. That happens when their value isn’t understood. Whether others understand the value that you bring to the organization or not you always have the ability to understand it yourself.

Now… a couple of caveats.

A healthy ego is a lean ego. Your ego needs to be fed but it doesn’t need to be stuffed. Never eat more ego food than you need to be healthy. While having an ego is not a problem having a great big fat ego certainly is!

Make sure what you’re ego is eating is actually ego food and not waste from a bull. If you lie to yourself about the value you bring to the organization or your accomplishments then your ego begins to smell like the bull. That’s no way to lead!

Keep your ego well fed and your career and relationships will be healthy too.

The Importance of Recognition

September 17, 2015September 17, 2015Steve Keating 6 Comments

People crave recognition. They crave recognition almost as much as they crave air to breath or water to drink. In fact people NEED recognition to carry them through the difficult times that all humans will eventually face.

Needing recognition is not a weakness, it is just a part of life.

I know lots of people who say they don’t need recognition. They are “self-fulfilled.” Well they may need a bit less recognition than other people but they are kidding themselves if they don’t think they need any recognition from anyone ever.

Humans have this thing known as an ego. If you have a pulse then you have an ego. It’s not bad to have an ego so long as you keep it under control but it is a problem when we fail to recognize that everyone else has an ego too.

What many people forget is that an ego sometimes needs to be fed in order to stay healthy. One of a leader’s primary responsibilities is to feed the ego of their people. Just like with a real human diet, small consistent “feedings” are far more healthy than binge feeding once in a great while and then starving for nourishment in between.

Those small consistent feedings are called compliments, feedback, and coaching. If you’re a leader who starves your people of ego food then you are missing a big piece of leading.

None of this is new for experienced leaders; they know their people need recognition and feedback. The mistake they make is believing they can provide that recognition and feedback when “they have an extra moment” or in their “free time.”

Look at your calendar, go ahead, look right now. Exactly when is that “extra moment” or “free time” on your calendar?

Most leaders don’t have extra time or free time in their day. That means the time required to provide recognition and feedback must be baked into their schedule. It must be planned and intentional. It needs to be more than “once in a while” because a “while” can be a very long time when you’re a busy leader.

If you really desire to grow your people then you need to give them the recognition they NEED in order to grow. When was the last time you purposely stopped what you were doing to give well deserved recognition or feedback. If you don’t know the date and time then I would submit to you that it’s been too long.

Your team’s collective ego is hungry… feed them!

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