Tag Decisions

Is Your Life TBD?

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Your life, at least everyday going forward is “to be determined.” The only question is, who will determine it. 

It’s a vital question. The answer likely determines both the level of your happiness and success. 

Here’s a few questions to help you become more aware of exactly who is determining your future:

Are you waiting for your life to happen? Do you wait for something to happen while successful people are making something happen? Are you waiting for your “big break” while successful people are making themselves a big break? Are you working hard or hardly working? Do you have goals and a plan? Do you go with the flow or create your own current?

One final question … Can you be honest enough with yourself to answer those questions truthfully?

No matter the circumstances surrounding your life, the economy, your education, where you live or where you grew up or your past experience, no matter what, your future will be determined by YOUR actions. Your actions are mostly determined by your attitude. Your attitude is completely your choice and by extension, so are your actions.

Even if a great opportunity does just “happen” along you still must have to courage to reach out and grab it, you must have to courage to take action.

Do you have an attitude of “can’t” or an attitude of “can?” When you hear yourself saying “I can’t” you best ask yourself one final question. Do you really mean “I won’t?”  I’d personally bet on the “I won’t” because the fact is, you almost certainly can.

There will always be excuses available to those who are willing to accept them but here’s another fact: the most successful people do not need excuses and they will not accept them when available. They simply outwork the need for excuses.

While hard work is good, hard work with goals and a plan is great. If you don’t have goals, true goals, then you reduce your chances of success ten-fold. The creation of goals leads to the development of the plans required to achieve them. In nearly every instance the lack of a plan leads directly to the lack of success.

If you’re blaming “them” or blaming “they” for your lack of success then think again. Until you accept responsibility for where you are you will never do what needs to be done to get yourself where you want to be. You and only you can put yourself somewhere else. When you accept the excuses available you surrender the awesome power of YOU! You allow other people and other stuff to determine your level of success and often, your level of happiness.

Bob Hope, the great American comedian and actor said: “I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.” That’s a great quote, I especially like the part where he says “I steered myself there.” You can do that too!

It’s unlikely that you would buy the car of your dreams and then only allow other people to drive it. Why let other people steer the course of your life with their excuses for you?

Step up this week and step out into the light of harsh reality. You may not like where you are but in all likelihood you put yourself there. You are the only person in the world who can put yourself somewhere else.

I’ve used the word success quite a bit in this post but so far I haven’t really defined what true success is. I won’t define it for you because I can’t. Never let anyone but YOU define your success or tell you if you are happy or not. YOUR success and happiness can only be defined by YOU. If others don’t believe you’re successful enough or happy enough that’s their problem not yours. 

If you’re happy with “where you are in life” then by all means stay there. If you’re not happy with where you are, then by any and all means possible, get moving in the direction of your dreams.

Start today! 

The Courage of Leadership

Steve Keating 18 Comments

Authentic leaders are very unique people. Perhaps that’s why we see so few of them in everyday life. They set themselves apart not only by what they say but by what they do. They simply do things differently than people who merely hold a leadership position or have an impressive sounding title. 

There are a few minimum requirements or qualities that a person must possess to qualify as an authentic leader. The actual qualities of authentic leaders can be debated forever but there are some that are absolute. Integrity and caring are two of the big ones. Judgment, or as I prefer to call it, Judgcernment, is another. Judgcernment is the ability to make a correct decision using both good judgment and discernment. 

That ability is key to effective authentic leadership. Yet many leaders have that ability and still fail in their leadership responsibilities. I believe that’s because they lack one other essential quality of leadership: Courage.

They just don’t have the nerve to pull the trigger on big decisions. They have all the facts, they know what’s right, they have correctly judged and weighed all the possibilities and still they can’t bring themselves to say yes or no.

Courage in a leader inspires their followers to commit rather than merely comply. Followers see the inner battle their leader fights to do what’s right and they commit to do what’s right as well, growing themselves, their leader and their organization.

Leaders with courage don’t just work to smooth things over, they commit to making them right. This is perhaps the hardest part of big decision making; if the decision causes change for anyone it will make someone unhappy. It might even be unfair, but courageous leaders know that the right thing to do isn’t always the fair thing to do and they do it anyway. If you believe that everyone must love you in order for them to respect you then you may be a wonderful friend but you’re likely not an authentic leader.

Courageous leaders are willing to risk being wrong sometimes in order to be right most of the time. They know that decisions move the organization forward. They know that a lack of a decision is in fact a decision; it’s a decision to do nothing and that’s a decision that is almost always wrong and at times catastrophic. 

Courageous leaders make a positive difference in whatever organization they serve. They can come from any level of an organization and they need no tittle or position to effectively influence those around them. They inspire people and organizations to greatness and their leadership far outlasts them.

If you’re wondering if you have the courage to be an authentic leader then remember this: courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is facing your fear and moving forward anyway. Dale Carnegie always said that the only place fear really existed was in our mind. Remove fear from your thoughts today and you’ll find the courage you already possess tomorrow.  

When to Take a Mulligan in Life

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I’m tempted to begin this post with a sentence saying that I play golf. That might be a bit of an overstatement. I spend time on golf courses hitting a small white ball. I hit it too often to call what I do playing golf. Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson play golf, I play a round. 

My regular golf buddies and I fully understand the rules of golf and we mostly follow them completely. We play for large amounts of money, I once had a very good day and won almost 6 bucks! Even with the high stakes the weekly game is always friendly, and forgiving. On the first hole of a round we “allow” a mulligan. A mulligan is a “do-over” with no penalty. If your first shot is less than you had hoped for you just hit another one. No harm, no penalty!

It’s too bad life doesn’t offer mulligans. In golf there is no consequence for a bad first shot when you take a mulligan. When we mess up a part of our life there frequently are consequences. We, or someone, generally pays for our mistakes.

Just because there are consequences however doesn’t mean we don’t get a do-over. If your life isn’t heading in the direction you would like then by any and all means possible, change direction. 

If a change of direction isn’t enough then take a life mulligan. Start over. 

The starting point for your do-over is wherever you are today. Take from the past only the experiences which will help you in the future. Leave behind your regrets, mistakes, and failures. Above all, leave behind the fear that causes so much hesitation and doubt.

You may also need to leave behind those things and sadly, people who do not provide you with the positive influence you need to succeed. It’s not easy to start over, but most successful people have done it once, twice, or even several times before they found their ultimate success.

In golf when you take a mulligan you (at least I) rarely try something different. You just tee up another ball and hope for a better result. Sometimes it works and most times it doesn’t.

In life, doing the same thing and expecting a different result is a pretty good definition of insanity. If you’re taking a life mulligan only to do the same things the same way then just skip it. You’ll only end up at exactly the same place you started. 

Set new goals, make new plans, get a mentor, educate yourself, and leave much of the old you behind. You’re never too young to begin again and you’re never too old to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. 

I’ll take a mulligan! 

Make Peace With Your Decisions

Steve Keating 5 Comments

“There is no more miserable person than the one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision.” William James

Life is a series of seemingly unimportant decisions, many of them small, inconsequential and quickly made. We put little thought into most of them and many of them truly have little impact on our lives.

Or do they?

When we add up the small decisions of our life it turns out that cumulatively they make a real difference in our life. And we make many of them without regard to the long-term effects they will have on us.

So much of the “luck” attributed to successful people comes from sound, long-term decision making. Bob Hope, the great American comedian always told people that he always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. He also was always quick to add “of course, I steered myself there.” 

He steered himself there with great decisions. He had what I like to call “judgcernment,” that rare combination of great judgment and equally great discernment. He knew his decisions mattered…always.

If you want a better life I’d suggest you make better decisions. It really does come down to that simply fact. Consider the implications of your daily choices; the people you associate with, the words you use, the clothes you wear and many other decisions. 

I’m not here to say what the right decisions are, I just want you to know that almost every choice has an impact on you life.

Goals are essential for solid decision making; without knowing what you want out of life it will be nearly impossible to get it. Your goals, just like your decisions don’t need to be set in stone. Your core values must be rock solid but you can adjust your goals and change your decisions to match as often as you like.

Only a fool never changes their mind. Circumstances change and so does a healthy mind.

Many decisions lead to change and whether we realize it or not there is loss associated with almost all change, even good change. Most people fear or dislike change and the bigger the change, or the bigger the decision the bigger the fear. Fear stalls more decision making than any other single thing.

Ben Franklin was a legendary decision maker. He often shared his method for making big decisions with those who asked for his advice. He said that “all reasons pro and con are not present to the mind at the same time….”

Then he would share this method: 

My way is to divide half a sheet of paper by a line into two columns; writing over the one Pro and over the other Con. Then during three or four days’ consideration, I put down under the different heads short hints of the different motives, that at different times occur to me, for or against the measure. When I have thus got them altogether in one view, I endeavor to estimate their respective weights; and where I find two, one on each side, that seem equal, I strike them both out. If I judge some two reasons con equal to some three reasons pro, I strike out five; and thus proceeding, I find where the balance lies; and if after a day or two of further consideration, nothing new that is of importance occurs on either side, I come to a determination accordingly.” –Benjamin Franklin

It’s a simple method but it works. The next time you are struggling with a big decision I’d suggest you try Ben’s idea.

You will have a great decision and you’ll have peace of mind to go along with it.

Your So Called Life

Steve Keating 17 Comments

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Life! It’s a treasure, it’s one thing all human beings on the planet have in common, we all have a life.

Another thing we all have in common is that we were all created equal. That’s a true fact! Here’s another true fact; in many ways, we don’t stay equal very long. The world quickly divides it’s human inhabitants into the “haves” and “have nots” and into the “privileged” and the “not so privileged.” Or does it?

I don’t really think it does; I think we do it to ourselves. Understand what I mean by that, I don’t mean someone else does it to you, I mean you do it to yourself. More than any other single factor, you decide if you’ll be a “have” or a “have not.” You make that decision frequently, every single day.

That decision will impact almost every other decision you make.

Do yourself a favor and get a couple of blank pieces of paper (okay use your computer, tablet or even your phone if you don’t have paper) and on the top of one write “things in my life that I control.” On the top of the other one write “things in my life I that don’t control.” Over the next few days jot down all the things that fit in the appropriate category on each piece of paper.

Take some time to study each piece of paper, pay particular attention to the paper with the “don’t control” stuff. Next, copy the stuff on the “don’t control” paper onto the “do control” paper and throw the “don’t control” paper away. Physically throw it away, burn it, bury it, however you do it, just get it out of your life.

It’s your life! Don’t give control of any part of it to someone or something else.

Your lot in life is much more dependent on your thoughts and actions than anything else. Your circumstances and environment play a role but in many instances we even control those factors.

Make a plan to control all of the “don’t control” stuff that you moved over to your “do control” list. Ask for help, network with people that already have control over those things, do what they do. Ask for some more help, but remember, “help” means help, it doesn’t mean do it for me. (some of you are already saying “I can’t” and to you let me say that at the top of the list of the things that you do control you need to write “my attitude” and you need to review that list every morning)

It’s your life and you deserve to live it that way. A tiny percentage of the world’s population ever actually have control of their life taken from them but a rather large percentage gives it away.

Successful people never give control of their life away. You’ll have a real tough time being a “have” if you hang on to that “don’t control” paper, even if you just keep it in the back of your mind. Get rid of it and really live YOUR life!

Your Most Important Decision of the Day

Steve Keating 4 Comments

If you’re like me, if you’re human, if you have a pulse, then you make lots of decisions everyday. Most of them are tiny decisions, made with barely a conscious thought. Brand of gum to chew, water with lemon or lime, which color of socks should I wear today. Those are easy (I hope) decisions and they have little or no lasting impact on your future.

Some are more consequential, they shape your future and you likely give them a fair amount of thought.

Some are downright huge! The have long-range of even life long impact on your life. You do research, fact check, ask others for advice and struggle to be sure of your decision.

But one, one decision is the biggest of all. It is positively monumental! 

It’s a decision you should be making everyday. In fact, it might be wise to make it several times a day. Yet most people never make it at all. Many people don’t even realize it’s a decision that is available for them to make. You may be one of them.

So, what is this monumental decision. It’s the decision on whether or not you’ll have a positive attitude. 

YOU get to decide that. 

EVERYDAY! 

ALL DAY!     

If you’re like most people you probably never even give that decision a thought. You just allow your attitude to be determined by the people around you and the events of your day. 

If you’re like most people your attitude “reflects.” The attitude of successful people “radiates.” 

The most successful people decide that they, and they alone, will control their attitude. Nothing and no one will rob them of the incredible strength, focus, and energy provided by a positive attitude.  Sometimes they have to make that choice more than once a day, sometimes many times a day. But make it they do!

Attitude is contagious. It seems as if a negative attitude is the most contagious of all. The best antidote to a negative attitude is a decision. It’s a decision to choose, and choose positive. 

It’s a decision that is yours and yours alone. All you have to do is make it!