Tag Clear Communication

The Trap of Lazy Communication

Steve Keating 1 Comment

There are a lot of ways a leader, people in general actually, can cause communication to go sideways. Perhaps the biggest is simply not communicating often enough. Assuming people know what you’re thinking and therefore you don’t need to communicate much, is often the fatal flaw of what could have been a successful leadership tenure.

Another huge mistake is assuming that simply because they delivered a message it was received. Believing that what you said is the same as what other people heard has caused more problems then we could ever list here. World War One was basically started over a miscommunication. If you have ever been part of a conversation where the other person said “well you said this” and you responded with a “no, I didn’t say that” then you have been involved in a miscommunication.

Still another mistake is thinking that effective communication is a 50-50 proposition. If you do your part to talk and listen well and the other person does their part to do the same then you’ll always have successful communication. But let’s look at that another way, each of you giving 50% effort will result in crystal clear communication? Really? 

The most successful communications happen when both parties accept 100% responsibility for the success of the communication process. Both parties choose their words to help the other person understand exactly what they are trying to say. If one side of the communication is trying to use “big” words to sound more impressive then they are limiting the success of the communication. I’d rather be thought of as a simpleton who communicates very well than a genius who can’t get their point across. 

Both sides of a communication must listen intently, lingering on the words of the speaker until they are 100% certain they understand the message they were intended to convey. If not, it is the listener’s responsibility to ask for clarification. But…it is also the speaker’s responsibility to ask the listener if they “got it” before continuing the conversation. That’s the 100-100 proposition of effective communication. 

These “rules for clarity” also apply to written communication. Don’t assume because you wrote something with one meaning in mind that your reader will interpret it in the same way. Remember, readers can’t see your body language. They can’t hear your tone of voice and they have no idea how hard your hitting those keys on your keyboard. 

Here’s a pretty darn good rule for effective written communication. NEVER send a text or email while you’re angry. One night’s sleep can make for a much more measured response and a response that you’re much less likely to regret. 

So here’s the thing about this entire post. I’d be shocked if there is anything in this post you don’t already know. That’s the case with most of my posts. The question is, as always, are you using what you know? Do you often skip some, or most, of those “rules for clarity?” Do you assign 50% of the responsibility for successful communication to someone else? Are you assuming that because you said it “they” heard it? 

It’s easy to get lazy in our communication with other people. That laziness often puts us in a hole that can be hard to get out of. Don’t dig yourself a hole. Think a few seconds before you say it or write it. Listen to it with the other person’s ears. Read it with their eyes. Put yourself in their shoes and ask how you would reply if someone said that to you. AND BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT THAT! 

Effective communication is the heart of successful relationships. Be they business oriented or very personal in nature, the best communicators have the best relationships. Always been that way and I suspect it always will be that way. 

Think about it. 

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Why Communication Matters

Steve Keating 6 Comments

Communication is pretty much at the middle of everything we do. It adds to or subtracts from our efforts to build solid relationships. It demonstrates our competence and confidence…. or not.

Every effective leader understands the importance of clear communication but not enough leaders seem willing to invest the time to be certain that they are communicating well. Every human interaction leaves behind an “emotional wake.” Every time you have a conversation with someone you leave them feeling better or worse. They may feel better or worse about you or they may feel better or worse about themselves. Either way this much is certain, there are no neutral human interactions. Every human interaction changes something. 

Communication is at the heart of every human interaction and communication is much more than the words we speak. Studies show that effective communication is 7% the words we say and 93% tone and body language.

So choose your words well, even more important, choose when and how you say them exceptionally well.  

Words spoken while angry never seem to come out the way we want; no matter how careful we think we are. Angry words can turn a small misunderstanding into a big misunderstanding so ditch the anger BEFORE attempting to communicate. 

But don’t use anger as an excuse to not attempt communication because lack of communication is just as bad. Poor communication and no communication are often the cause of problems between people. Wars have literally been caused by miscommunication. Think about the last 5 arguments you had with another person, I’d bet a small fortune that lack of communication or poor communication was at least part of the problem.

When leaders fail to communicate effectively they can cause frustration, bitterness, and confusion among their followers. Effective communication can eliminate rumors and bottlenecks. It builds stronger working relationships. When your people know their role within the organization and understand how what they do makes a difference there is a sense of value and accomplishment. 

Leaders who communicate well create an environment where people work together for the greater good. Excellent communication can help foster a culture of teamwork and selfless effort. 

Successful leadership requires clear and concise communication. It’s safe to say that if you’re not communicating well then you’re not leading well either.

So, what have you to say about that?