Tag Attitude

The Coercion of Whispered Thoughts

Steve Keating 17 Comments

Most people talk to themselves. Just little stuff like “I wonder what the temperature is” and “what should I have for lunch?” Everybody thinks to themselves. Thinking is good, mostly. Positive thoughts are better than negative thoughts, certainly for us but even at times for those around us. 

Negative thoughts can be very damaging to our morale and motivation. But kept to ourselves they mostly just affect us. 

But what happens when when we don’t just keep them to ourselves? What happens when we begin to share?

Negative thoughts are seldom widely broadcast, they are most commonly whispered. They are whispered in those quiet “hallway conversations” between you and a colleague. They are whispered behind someone’s back, not meant for them to ever hear even though they often eventually do.

Whispered thoughts are rarely positive or constructive which is why conversations containing whispered thoughts stop suddenly when a boss or talked about co-worker appears. That’s one of the most coercive things about whispered thoughts, we rarely share them with someone who can help us with them. We share them with the people we believe will agree with them. We share them with people who will buy into them and make them their own.

Our negative thoughts can slow us down and limit our potential but make no mistake, saying them out loud brings them to life, no matter how quietly they are spoken. Once they are spoken it’s impossible to unsay them. They are now more than thoughts, they are productivity and morale killers and they don’t just kill your morale, they can kill the morale of whoever you shared them with AND whoever they share them with. 

Whispered thoughts said even once can destroy in an instant a reputation that took years to build. They can cause a person to doubt themselves or their circumstances. Whispered thoughts can last a lifetime no matter how hard we try to shout them down.

It’s odd but the words we whisper in confidence carry so much more weight than the words we share in public. People tend to believe a whisper more than words said out loud for everyone to hear.

Your thoughts become your actions. Your actions determine the course of your life. The course of your life determines your legacy. That’s big stuff and it gets even bigger when you whisper your negative thoughts to others and begin affecting their thoughts and actions. 

Make certain your whispered thoughts add value. Make certain they build and don’t destroy. Make certain your whispered thoughts cause a smile and not a look of concern. Your whispered thoughts are contagious, be sure what you’re infecting people with is good for them, and good for you.

Remember, if it’s not fit for everyone to hear then maybe, just maybe it’s not fit to be said at all.

How to Change Your Life

Steve Keating 7 Comments

You have many choices to make each day. What you eat. Who you spend your time with. What you wear. What time you go to bed. Where you work. What route you drive to work. What kind of car you drive that route in. The list is truly endless. 

Some people will dispute even the items on that very short list above. They will say “I have no choice but to work where I do, there are no others jobs available.” They will complain that they “have so much to do” that their bedtime is NOT their choice, they are often up later than they want to be.

Most of the examples that people would use to dispute even my short list above are just excuses. They are the excuses that people make in order to avoid taking charge of their life. 

I am constantly amazed at how easily people surrender the right to make choices that have a profound impact on their lives. They simply fail to realize that when they give up their right to choose they give up the opportunity to choose their life.

All of the choices that people give up, none is more devastating than giving up the choice of their attitude. Everyday people let other people and events determine whether they are in a “good mood” or not. Where folks, that “mood” as you call it looks a lot like an attitude to the people around you.

You’re kidding only yourself when you say you have a great attitude but you’re just moody. There is very little difference between the two.

You cannot control the attitude of everyone you come into contact with. You cannot always control the events that make up your day. What you can and must control is how you respond to them. THAT will determine your attitude. 

Here’s your choice, and it’s one you get to make everyday and multiple times everyday. Will your attitude be a thermostat that sets it’s own “temperature” or will it be a thermometer that simply reflects the temperature of those around it?

The most successful people understand this profound fact: No one and nothing can take your positive attitude away from you unless YOU let it happen. 

It’s your choice. 

The choice to maintain a positive attitude in the face of difficult people and difficult challenges will do more to improve the quality of your life than any other single thing you can do. 

Some days it will be a fight to maintain that attitude. Some days it may seem like a war. It’s a fight worth fighting for anyone who truly wants to control their life. Do You?

How Free are You?

Steve Keating 3 Comments

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Victor Frankl

I live in a “free” country. I have certain “rights,” described as unalienable in my country’s Declaration of Independence. I and my fellow Americans are free to choose most of our own circumstances and we are not alone in the world in possessing this most important right. Certainly almost anyone reading this post also possesses that right. 

It allows us to make choices about where we live, where we work, how we spend our free time, and our money. 

Most of us have always had that right, we’ve known nothing but freedom our entire lives. As a result, we tend to take our freedom for granted, even that last of the human freedoms that Victor Frankl spoke about. 

In fact, that “last” of the human freedoms is often the very first one we give up. We let other people, other things, and events beyond our control have a negative effect on our attitude. We don’t even stop for a moment to realize that our attitude is a choice, it’s our choice. It’s a choice we have the opportunity to make many times a day and sadly, we don’t make it. 

We actually don’t even have to be free to make that choice, no matter our circumstances we still have that choice. We have that choice right up to our final breath.

So, are you free enough do decide for yourself what your attitude will be? You are if you decide you are.

Don’t give up that freedom, choose positive. Virtually everything you say and do is easier when you decide to do it with a positive attitude. Virtually everything you say and do will be better when you do it with a positive attitude.

Virtually everything in your life changes for the better when you decide to exercise your freedom and maintain control over your own attitude.

If you really want to be free I’d suggest that you start right there.

Mountains to Climb

Steve Keating 6 Comments

great-smoky-mountainsMountains are beautiful from a distance, especially when we don’t need to hike over them to get somewhere else.

Imagine what the mountains meant to the early pioneers traveling across the vast prairie in search of the Great Northwest. They were not a welcomed sight, but rather, the very definition of hardship. It took days to travel even a few miles. The journey was rugged, the work exhausting, the progress minimal. Joy in passing through the rugged range rested completely upon the attitude of the pioneer.

Trials and hardships in life are like mountains. They are inevitable, challenging, unwanted obstacles, and much more beautiful when looking back on those recently conquered.

Today, many of us live in the midst of mountains. And so the question must be asked – how is your attitude?

I speak often on the importance of maintaining control of our attitudes. The ability to “set the tone” for your day, everyday, is critical for success in the face of the mountains that challenge us each day. It is difficult; to say the least, to remain positive when it seems as if every light at the end of the tunnel is just another train on it’s way to running you over. It might even be impossible to do it alone.

So….I’d like to offer a small suggestion – don’t try to do it alone. Simul-climb! Simul-climbing is a technique used by experienced rock climbers to move up a rock wall with a steady pace, it also allows the peak to be reached much faster.

Simul-climbing is basically two climbers roped together climbing at the same time. While it offers many advantages there seems to be one big shortcoming, if one falls, they both fall. This causes simul-climbers to be very selective when choosing a partner.

Pick a partner, or mentor, that will help you maintain control over your attitude and someone that you can help as well. This is a person who you can share your challenges with, one that offers advice and encouragement and accepts the same from you. Tie yourself to this person and attack the mountains that stand in the way of your eventual success. Remember, if you fall and your attitude goes south on you, you will be taking someone else with you.

So don’t fall!

The One Person you MUST Listen To

Steve Keating 4 Comments

th 2Are you a good listener? Listening is a skill and by definition we can improve a skill through practice. Most people who struggle with their listening skills listen to respond to the speaker rather than listening to understand the speaker.

Some excellent listeners hold themselves back but listening to the wrong things and the wrong people. You see, WHAT you listen to is just as important as WHO you listen to.

We all have people in our lives that see the dark side of everything. They would even complain about their ice cream being too cold. It would be easy to say that their negative attitudes are their problem but the truth is, if we’re listening to them, it’s our problem too.

Their negative attitude can be contagious. They can infect us to the point that we start to agree with them.

Always keep this in mind, we may, because of work situations or family situations, have to be around negative people but we DO NOT have to listen to them. Successful people do not let negative people hold them back.

The one person you should always listen to is yourself. One you’ve made the decision to maintain a positive attitude, your own “self-talk” can help block out the negative talk coming from some of those around you.

Never let other people tell you that you can’t succeed and for heavens sake, never say it to yourself. Keep your inner voice a positive voice and when things don’t seem to be going well, listen to yourself.

Successful people tell themselves that they will succeed and they believe it.

So be a good listener but remember, it’s important to listen up but it’s even more important to listen in!  

Spend or Invest?

Steve Keating 2 Comments

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This title just sounds like money, doesn’t it? Should I spend my cash on something or invest it so I might have even more later?

Well, this post is most certainly not about money, it’s about something much more valuable, it’s about people.

So here’s the question right up front… When interacting with people, are you spending time on them or investing time with them?

That’s two completely different mindsets and they often lead to two completely different outcomes. Spending time on your people could indicate that interacting with people is not the highlight of your day. Investing time with your people could mean that you understand the value of all people and that you realize that your role as a leader is, at least partially, to make a positive difference in their lives.

Let’s go to a little deeper level than just work or business. Imagine the difference in your actions and attitude in these two scenarios: You’ve been really busy and “the kids” have suffered because of it. They just haven’t seen much of you lately so you commit to spend some time with them this coming weekend….. or, you realize your vital role in their life and commit to invest some of your time with them this weekend.

One scenario has the potential to cause you to go through the motions, it could be the cause of your divided attention. Spending time on, or even with anyone seldom means real commitment.

Now let’s consider the other scenario, you are committed to invest time with your kids. You plan the weekend out and you also plan to keep the distractions away. You take (as do most people) your investments much more seriously than you do your spending so you really put a part of yourself into the weekend.

Imagine the difference in the lives of your kids!

If you think I’m just playing word games here, you’re right. However, words are what we use to talk ourselves into more productive actions. Words make us think! Don’t use another minute of your day without asking yourself “do I want this time to be used as an expense or an investment?” The difference in those two words will change your actions and very well may change your life or the life of someone important to you.

Invest!

The Best Thing About Being in Sales

Steve Keating 2 Comments

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I’d be the first to admit that selling, or being in sales, isn’t for everybody. You have to like people, and not necessarily people with your same likes and opinions. You have to like a wide variety of people. Sometimes you have to find a way to build at least a working relationship with people who you otherwise might not even associate with.

If you’re going to be in sales you must be mostly self-motivated. The most motivated sales manager in the world will not be able to motivate someone that just doesn’t want to be motivated.

Professional salespeople can have a lot of freedom and they can make a lot of money. I heard a speaker say one time that sales “is the easiest low paying job in the world” or “the hardest, best paying job in the world.” It’s a salesperson’s choice!

The best thing about being in sales is that professional salespeople control their own destiny. There are many factors which can have an impact on the environment that you sell in; the economy, the fluctuating price of commodities, or some surprise activity of your competition.

It would be naive to suggest that those factors don’t matter but none of them, or even all of them combined, have as much impact as a professional salesperson’s attitude. That’s the reason I believe that salespeople control their own destiny, because they also have complete, 100% control over their attitude.

Now I know some stuff about controlling an attitude, or more accurately and honestly, about NOT controlling an attitude. It’s simply easier to be negative and staying positive is a battle we should fight often and continually. There’s really no secret to winning that battle, it’s just a matter of being aware that the battle exists.

Salespeople often face a frequent stream of negative information, feedback and issues. It can make some days such a challenge that the battle is more like a war. But how you react is still your choice, no one else’s!

As you move into the final quarter of 2012 and begin to look forward to a great New Year you may hear some rumblings, noise I like to call it, about the challenges you’ll possibly face in our 2013 marketplace. If I’ve learned anything in my years in business it’s that the future is pretty hard to predict. There are at least as many positive indicators as there are negative indicators for 2013. The people who focus on the negative ones will lose the attitude battle and that will prove costly to them in the coming year.

Losing that battle could lead to a self-fulfilling prophesy that no one wants and that no one can afford. Your success in controlling your attitude could be the single greatest contributor to your overall success, and not just next year, but every year.

So, as you plan your 2013, plan for a great year, commit to working the fundamentals of sales that work regardless of outside influences. Commit to doing all the little things that you know will make a big difference. Plan for big wins and maybe even a few small loses, and most of all, plan to avoid the “noise” and stay positive.

In 2013, plan to be the absolute master of your destiny, after all, it’s the best thing about being in sales.