Tag Accept Responsibility

The Power of Perspective: How to Keep Life’s Challenges in Check

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that everything seems to set us off. A tough critique at work, a spat with a friend, a never-ending to-do list—suddenly, the world can feel like it’s crashing down. But the truth is, most of what stresses us out are just small pieces of a much larger, more complex puzzle.

Learning how to keep things in perspective isn’t about ignoring problems; it’s about developing a mindset that prevents minor setbacks from hijacking your overall well-being.

I’m a big believer in living in what Dale Carnegie called, “Day-Tight Compartments.” Living each day in its own 24 hours. That means not allowing yesterday’s “stuff” to impact today’s efforts. It means not over-worrying about tomorrow’s events at the cost of today’s happiness and productivity.

Living in Day-Tight Compartments is the superpower that lets you navigate storms without sinking your entire ship.

Here are a few practical strategies you can use to zoom out and regain your footing when life feels too big and your Day-Tight Compartment starts to get a little leaky.

1. The 10/10/10 Rule

When you’re facing a stressful decision or a major upset, try asking yourself these three simple questions:

How will I feel about this in 10 minutes? (Immediate impact)

How will I feel about this in 10 months? (Mid-term impact)

How will I feel about this in 10 years? (Long-term impact)

Most of the things that cause immediate distress—that awkward email, a spilled coffee, a missed deadline—will have zero emotional weight in 10 months or 10 years. This exercise instantly shifts your focus from the current drama to the long-term reality, often shrinking the problem down to its true, manageable size.

2. The “Worst-Case Scenario” Check

Our minds are masters of catastrophizing. When we feel anxious, we often jump straight to the most dramatic, scary outcomes without checking the facts.

Next time you feel a worry spiraling, take a moment to define the absolute worst-case scenario. Write it down. Then, ask yourself two more questions:

How likely is this truly to happen? (Be honest, not fearful.)

If it did happen, what is the absolute minimum I could do to recover?

By confronting the “worst” and creating a fallback plan, you strip away its power. You realize that even if the worst happens, you would be okay, and you have the resourcefulness to handle it. You move from panic to planning. This will take a ton of weight off your shoulders.

3. Embrace the “Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence”

This concept, popularized by Stephen Covey, is critical for reducing stress over things you cannot control.

Circle of Concern: Everything you worry about—the economy, the weather, what others think of you, a coworker’s bad mood.

Circle of Influence: The things you can actually do something about—your effort, your attitude, your boundaries, and how you spend your time.

When stress hits, identify what part of the problem falls into your Circle of Influence. Don’t waste energy fretting over the weather (Concern); focus on bringing an umbrella (Influence). By dedicating your time and energy only to what you can control, you become more effective and less burdened.

4. Practice Gratitude Daily

It sounds almost silly, but a consistent gratitude practice is one of the most powerful tools for perspective. When you focus on what you lack or what went wrong, you narrow your vision. Gratitude forces you to widen it.

Take three minutes every morning or evening to list three specific things you are genuinely grateful for. It could be your morning coffee, a good night’s sleep, or the support of a friend.

This simple act reminds you that even on a bad day, your life is filled with existing good things—and the minor setback you’re currently facing doesn’t invalidate any of them. It puts your troubles into a richer, fuller context, which tends to shrink them.

A Final Thought: You Are More Than Your Problems

Remember that you are not your immediate circumstances. Hope is the understanding that our current circumstances are very unlikely to be our permanent circumstances. A bad day is a single data point, not a complete picture of your life. That means we always have hope. When you feel trapped by a current challenge, step back, breathe, and use one of these tools to zoom out.

The ability to keep things in perspective isn’t a trait you’re born with; it’s a skill you build, day by day, worry by worry. Start practicing today, and watch how much smaller and easier to manage your challenges become.

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How to Take Control of Your Life

Steve Keating Leave a comment

It’s easy to get stuck in the floaty trap. You know the one, the one that feels like you’re just floating along, letting life happen to you instead of making things happen yourself.

It can be a pretty comfortable feeling until it’s not. Eventually, we get frustrated with floating because, while it feels pretty good, we have little to no control over where we end up.

When we “float” we are subject to the whims of other people and circumstances that we’ve chosen to not control. Floating is a pretty common feeling, and it is easy to stay there way longer than you should. But floating does not have to be a permanent condition.

YOU can take control of your life!

Taking control of your life is about making a conscious decision to be the driver, not the passenger in your life’s journey. It’s about being intentional with your choices and actions, big and small.

Here’s how to start taking control of your life.

Define What “Control” Means to You

First, you need to understand what taking control looks like for you personally. It’s absolutely not the same for everyone. When you get married, for instance, you are willingly and lovingly giving up at least some control to your partner.

So for you, is control about your career? Your health? Your relationships? Your finances? It’s likely a combination of these things and maybe more, but identifying the key areas that feel out of whack is the first step. Grab a notebook, iPad, or whatever, and jot down the parts of your life that feel most chaotic or uncontrolled. This isn’t about judgment; it’s about clarity.

Set Intentional Goals

Once you’ve identified the areas you want to work on, it’s time to set some goals. These shouldn’t be vague wishes. A good goal is SMART:

• Specific: What exactly do you want to achieve?

• Measurable: How will you track your progress?

• Achievable: Is this goal realistic for you right now?

• Relevant: Does this goal align with your values and what you want for your life?

• Time-bound: When do you want to achieve this by?

For example, instead of “I want to get healthy,” try “I will walk for 30 minutes three times a week for the next month.”

Embrace Small Actions

The idea of “taking control” can feel overwhelming. The key is to start small. A big change is just a series of small, consistent actions. If your goal is to save more money, start by packing your lunch once a week instead of buying it. If you want to learn a new skill, commit to 15 minutes of practice a day. These small wins build momentum and confidence, proving to yourself that you are capable of making a change.

Practice Self-Awareness

One of the most powerful tools for taking control is self-awareness. It’s about understanding your habits, triggers, and emotions. Why do you procrastinate? What makes you feel stressed? What are you truly passionate about? The more you understand yourself, the better you can navigate your life’s challenges. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking a few minutes each day to reflect can help you develop this awareness.

Take Responsibility (Without Blame)

This is a tough one, but it’s essential. Taking control means taking responsibility for your choices, ALL your choices, and their outcomes. This is not about blaming yourself for past mistakes. Instead, it’s about acknowledging your role in your current situation. For example, if you’re not happy with your job, instead of blaming your boss or the company, ask yourself, “What can I do to change this situation?” Maybe it’s updating your resume, networking, or taking a course to learn new skills. This shift in perspective is incredibly empowering.

Taking control of your life isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continuous practice. It’s about being proactive, not reactive. By defining your goals, starting with small actions, practicing self-awareness, and taking responsibility, you can begin to steer your life in the direction you want to go.

Things still will not always go your way, but YOU have the power to change directions as many times as are required to put yourself exactly where you want to be. Now that’s control!

So, where will you start?

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But whether you can offer support or not, I’ll continue to try and write a blog that gives back, informs and sometimes even entertains. I hope you enjoy it!

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Who Are You Accountable To?

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Most people are not fans of being held accountable. We kinda like to do our thing when and where we want to do it. I get that because lots of time I’m like that too. 

The challenge is, EVERYBODY is more productive when they are held accountable. That’s a fact. Many times simply knowing someone is going to ask you, “did you get that done?” Is enough to spur us to action. 

That type of “motivation,” whether it comes from a parent, a spouse, or a boss can be the difference between accomplishing something and merely thinking about accomplishing something. And that’s not bad. 

But it’s not that good either. 

What’s better is holding ourselves accountable. Pushing ourselves. Motivating ourselves. Taking an honest look at our progress towards our goals. 

Here’s a list of areas to evaluate yourself to determine your level of self-accountability. Score yourself from 1 to 5 with 5 being always and 1 being never. 

  1. I create my own process and timeline for getting things done…ON TIME. 
  2. I know when to ask for permission and when I can proceed on my own. 
  3. I know how to find the information I need to get things done.
  4. I know who I can reach out to for help if I need it and I’m not afraid to ask for the help I need.
  5. I do what is expected of me even when no one is watching. 
  6. I seek out feedback from a mentor or coach to make certain I’m staying on track.
  7. I know what helps me remain motivated and focused. 
  8. I can push past barriers, even unexpected ones, to get things done. 
  9. I have methods and tools to keep myself on track. (Just an FYI, the ability to set “focus time” on Apple devices is an awesome tool)
  10. I absolutely own my results and outcomes and never try to shift responsibility when things go wrong. 

So how did you do? You need a score of 45 or better to be considered highly accountable to yourself. If you’re at 25 or below you’re gonna need somebody riding you like a horse to get stuff done. 

Self-accountability and success go hand in hand. If you’re not willing to drive yourself on the journey to success then you best be prepared to go where someone else decides to take you. 

Now, go get something done! 

On a another subject…I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can perhaps help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

Do Your People Have Reasons or Just Make Excuses?

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Successful people have reasons why they made a mistake or something went wrong. Less successful people make excuses.

When someone shows up late to a meeting or an event they have two choices, they can make an excuse or provide a reason. Let’s say you have an employee who is late for work. A less engaged employee might say, “The traffic was terrible and that’s why I was late.” At first glance that may appear to be a reason but it’s really just an excuse. 

An excuse makes a victim of the employee who was late and I’d be willing to bet that wasn’t the first time that employee was late and it certainly won’t be the last. An excuse has the undercurrent of “it’s not my fault, it’s not my responsibility and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it from happening again. 

The excuse says that if you as their leader try to hold them responsible for being on time it is YOU who are being unreasonable. YOU need to adjust your thinking and YOU need to be more flexible and understanding. After all, they can do nothing to control the traffic and blaming them is almost being abusive. 

It’s amazing to me how often that “shifting of responsibility” works. Many managers back off at that point and allow the tardiness to continue. Authentic Leaders know that if they do not hold their people accountable they are failing in one of the primary responsibilities of leadership. That is the responsibility of establishing accountability!

When the more engaged employee arrives late they provide a reason for being late. They may say, “The traffic was terrible and I failed to allow for that possibility. As a result I did not leave early enough and I was late. I will not make that mistake again.” 

Providing a reason for being late includes an acceptance of responsibility.  It includes a commitment to do whatever is required to be on time going forward. 

As a leader it is important that you understand the difference between an excuse and a reason. An excuse means nothing is likely to change. A reason means responsibility has been accepted and improvement will at least be attempted. 

Determining if you’ve been given an excuse or a reason requires that you listen intently to your people. You must focus on what’s being said and often, on how it’s being said. Failure to listen, truly listen, is the most common cause of poor coaching on the part of a leader. 

You can not help your people grow by accepting weak excuses. Excuses erase accountability and lead only to more excuses. Help your people understand the difference between an excuse and a reason. You’ll then be helping them be more successful for your organization and for themselves. 

Weak Leaders – Part Three

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I think it’s safe to say that most, likely all, successful people accept full responsibility for their actions and decisions. So then do Strong Authentic Leaders. 

Weak leaders tend to play the blame game. They look for someone else to dump responsibility on when things go wrong. Or they make excuses. My favorite is the combo responsibility dump/excuse of miscommunication. The leader communicated well, the person on the receiving end wasn’t bright enough to understand. 

That “combo” covers both bases. The leader has no responsibility for the mistake and the blame is firmly shifted away from the leader, except it really isn’t. 

Just a side note here…Authentic Leaders accept 100% responsibility for all communication. They know it is their responsibility to make certain the other person completely understood what was said. 

Not accepting responsibility for your actions and decisions leads to an entire set of consequences, whether you’re a leader or not. 

The first, and I think the most serious, is an exaggerated sense of self. If you believe your excuses it makes it difficult to build relationships with others. You are seen as less trustworthy. You likely become more critical of other people. Your feelings of infallibility increases your expectations of others. You become unrealistic, intolerant, and demanding. 

Your attitude becomes a repellent to other people making it nearly impossible to lead. You may not realize it at first and weak leaders may never realize it, but you’re not fun to be around. All because you can’t, or won’t, accept responsibility for your actions and decisions. 

The most common reason for not accepting responsibility is a sense of insecurity. People, especially weak leaders think admitting to a mistake or a poor decision makes them look weak. In reality, having the courage to admit mistakes gives the appearance of strength to a leader’s followers. 

Strong Authentic Leaders see accepting responsibility as a measure of their self-worth. Their strength and self-confidence allows them to do something weak leaders can’t do…learn from their mistakes. 

Ask yourself when was the last time you may have fallen short as a leader by placing blame for your actions on someone else. Ask yourself why you did that. Be honest with yourself. That’s the first step in growing your self-confidence to a level where you’re comfortable owning your actions and decisions. 

If you struggle with accepting responsibility then start paying attention to a leader you respect. You’ll likely see them do it on a regular basis. If you want to move from the weak side of leadership to the strong side do what they do. 

You may not see a difference in yourself right away but you’ll see a difference in how people respond to you. They may even start acting as if you’re a leader! 

The Challenge of Low Accountability

Steve Keating 5 Comments

I don’t like to place blame. I’m not a big fan of finding fault. I am however a huge fan of assigning responsibility and holding people accountable for their actions and decisions.

 

For those of you who believe there is no difference between placing blame and assigning responsibility let me share with you what the difference actually is. 

 

Assigning responsibility and accountability has to do with being answerable. It means your actions and their results will be measured objectively. Most people are willing to accept responsibility when they realize it comes with the opportunity to improve.  

 

To place blame is not only to be held responsible but to find fault. Blame assumes there will be a penalty, whether implicit or tacit. When someone in a leadership role assigns blame their actions usually stop there. The “blamed” individual awaits the punishment they are certain is coming their way. 

 

Authentic Leaders will hold their people accountable for outcomes without automatically placing blame. Accountability helps people grow. Whether they like it or not accountability motivates people to improve. Accountability actually leads to empowerment. Once an Authentic Leader holds someone accountable they follow up with coaching and offers of help. I can think of no downside to accountability. 

 

Placing blame on the other hand is one of the most demotivating actions a leader can take. Blame leads to disempowerment. It causes shame and a feeling of defeat. It is demoralizing. Blaming someone slows their development. There is no upside to blaming someone.

 

When something goes wrong in your organization do you think of terms of holding people accountable or do you look for someone to blame? It’s an important question because accountability will help your people grow while blame will stymie their development. 

 

This is somewhat a generalization but when the level of blame within an organization is high the level of accountability is usually low. 

 

Low accountability in an organization leads to a high level of chaos. Low accountability leads to low profitability and higher turnover. Low accountability leads to disengaged employees uninterested in improvement. Low accountability eventually leads to no need for accountability because there is nothing left to be accountable for. There is not an organization in existence today that can afford low accountability.


If you’re dealing with the same problems and mistakes again and again maybe the blame isn’t with your people. Maybe it’s with how you’re leading them…or not leading them. Is it time to hold yourself accountable?


Who is Responsible?

Steve Keating 9 Comments

I’ve been trying to help people be more successful for a long time. In all that time I’ve seen people fall into two major categories; those who accept responsibility for their own personal development and those who affix the responsibility for their development to someone else.

 

That someone else may be a teacher, their employer, their boss or someone close to them. The “someone else is responsible for me” group all have one thing in common. When I say all I really mean ALL, as in every single one of them. What they have in common is that they are less successful than they could be, usually much less successful.

 

Successful people accept full responsibility for their own personal development. They look for, and find, ways to improve their skills and abilities on a continual basis. 

 

They do not expect their employer to pay them for learning. They don’t expect time to be provided to them during the work day to take a class or attend a workshop. They will certainly accept those benefits if offered but they throughly understand the difference between accept and expect. 

 

Successful people are willing to invest both their own time and money to close whatever skill gaps they have identified. They realize that their development is their responsibility and no one else’s. 

 

Less successful people wait. They wait to be offered, for free, the training they need to succeed. They wait for the training to happen on company time. They maintain the attitude that if they are going to improve themselves then somebody else is going to have to take the lead in their development. 

 

Even if all those conditions are met they still don’t do as well because the motivation to succeed just isn’t there. They are improving to keep a job, not advance their own abilities. 

 

If you want to be more successful then invest in yourself. An investment in yourself is the surest investment that you can make. Invest in yourself for yourself. Invest in yourself because you’re worth it. 

 

If you believe you have what it takes to be successful and that all you need is for someone to believe in you then YOU should be that someone. Never wait, not even for a second, for someone else to take the lead in your self-improvement. 


Keep telling yourself, if it’s to be it’s up to me. Then stop talking to yourself and start doing for yourself.