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Are You a Role Model?

Steve Keating 7 Comments

Well, are you? The short answer, especially if you’re a leader or even just someone in a leadership position, is yes.

Your people watch you. No one is born with an innate knowledge of what it takes to succeed so they must learn it. They learn some of it by listening, some by reading, but mostly they learn from watching. If you are their leader or the person who is above them in a leadership position then it’s you they are watching.

You are absolutely a role model. The only question is do you model behavior that leads to success or do you model behavior that leads to something else.  

You can tell your people what to do and they may do it. You can show them and they will likely do it, you can tell them and show them and if what you said matches what you do they will most certainly do it. 

Therein lies the problem for people who are leaders only because they occupy a leadership position. Their words often don’t match their actions. They have yet to learn that their people will do what they do long before they will do what they say. They are also surprised when they eventually learn just how closely they are watched by those who would follow them. 

Authentic leaders are careful to make certain that their actions match their words. They realize that is the surest way to build trust and credibility and that those two characteristics are vital for leadership. 

If your goal as a leader is to build other leaders then your words and actions must coincide.  

So, watch what you say and remember, someone else is watching what you do.

Authentic Leaders Don’t Expect to be Respected

Steve Keating 6 Comments

Yes, you read that title correctly. I’ve never met an authentic leader who expected respect. Every authentic leader I’ve ever met knew from the start that any respect they received would have to be earned. 

There is no such thing as unearned respect. Your position or title doesn’t earn you respect; people may respect your position or title and they may respect the office you occupy but that doesn’t mean they respect you. 

That kind of personal respect must be earned and re-earned frequently. 

If you want respect then be respectful. Authentic leaders know that the best, and fastest, way to earn respect is to be respectful of others. When you talk down to people, when you put your needs before theirs, and when you “fudge” on the integrity issue you lose respect.

You can be powerful, you can be brilliant, and you can have the appearance of success, and you still won’t have the respect of those around you. 

Authentic leaders are humble leaders. The world renown Pastor at our church recently retired after over 30 years in the pulpit. He was replaced by a 30 something Pastor with no prior experience leading any size church much less a large congregation like ours. That’s pretty heady stuff, most of the members of his staff are considerably more experienced than him, yet he is the guy. Today I heard him introduce himself as one of the Pastors here at Bethlehem. 

He could have rightfully said Lead Pastor or Head Pastor but instead he said one of the Pastors. That’s humble! That earns respect. Sadly, that type of humble leadership is all too rare these days.

I’m going to doing something now that I wouldn’t normally do and something I don’t recommend, I’m going to make a very general broad statement. Here it is: if you’re constantly bragging about your power or your position or your brilliance I’d be willing to bet your people don’t have a lot of respect for you.

It’s like this; authentic leaders don’t need to boss because they lead. They don’t need to command respect because their people willingly give it. To be more precise, they don’t need to command respect because their people give it back. 

If you want to be respected then show some respect, and remember, you’re the leader, you go first! 

What Authentic Leaders Know

Steve Keating 9 Comments

There are many ways to fail as a leader but only one way to succeed.

John Maxwell said it best when he said that you can care for people without leading them but you cannot lead people without caring for them. 

Way too many wanna be leaders aspire to a position that will “force” or require people to follow them. They fail to realize that no one follows a position. People follow people, not positions or titles. They also fail to understand that no one can be forced to follow, they can only be forced to comply. 

When your people merely comply their growth is limited. When you as a leader limit the growth of your people you also limit your growth and the growth of your organization as well.

Authentic leaders aspire to be the type of person that people will want to follow. They have learned that people follow leaders who genuinely care about them. I use the word “genuinely” because you can only pretend to care for a relatively short period of time. Sooner or later your supposed followers will see you for the fraud that you are.

If you expect people to follow you then you should expect to do the things required of a leader.  You must care about your people.

If you do not possess the human capacity to care for another individual you do not possess the capacity to lead. All authentic leaders know that if you cannot care about others you will not succeed, long term, as a leader. 

The good news is that you can learn to care. You can learn to invest time with your people instead of spending time on them. 

Invest your time learning about them as people. You’re not likely to care about an employee number but you just might care when you see them as a person, just like other people you care about. 

Slow down, learn about the motivations, the goals, the aspirations, and even the challenges of your people. They are real! They matter, your success depends on them. 

It’s tough to care about people you don’t know about and it’s impossible to lead people you don’t care about. If you think you can you’re even misleading yourself.

Why YOU Matter!

Steve Keating 3 Comments

There are few things in life that you absolutely must know. I suppose even those few things could be debated. The few things we must know vary by person as well. Your occupation or profession will also partially determine what you need to know too. Where you live might make a difference along with how long you live. 

What you need to know is at least a little different than what I need to know or what the person who lives down the street needs to know. But there is one thing that every single living human being needs to know.

They matter!

YOU matter!

There is absolutely no way you could ever stop mattering. Even if you allow someone to convince you that you are somehow inferior to other people YOU still matter. YOU matter whether you believe it or not, so believe it! 

Because YOU matter, never let someone tell YOU that you don’t. People, anyone, that would tell you that YOU don’t matter clearly do not have your best interests in mind. Ignore them. Those kind of people will likely always be part of your life but it is solely your choice as to whether you listen to them or not. Always remember this: NEVER be one of those people who think or say that YOU don’t matter. Some days you may need to remind yourself often that YOU are amazing and that no matter what happens in your life YOU matter!

The world needs YOU and it needs YOU to be just as YOU are. Even if you’re an identical twin there is only one YOU. No one else can be truly be identical to YOU so don’t rob the world of YOU by trying to be someone or something you’re not. Just be the very best YOU possible. 

Don’t believe that you’re just “good enough” or only “average” because you’re not only the best YOU, you’re the only YOU. Out of billions of people already born and yet to be born there is only one of YOU and that ought to prove just how special YOU are and how much YOU matter. 

Because YOU matter YOU can accomplish great things. You’ve been given a life that allows you the opportunity to make a difference in the world. As long as you can draw a breath you have the opportunity to use your amazing life to make a difference in the life of someone else. YOU do!

Maybe helping other people know how much they matter is the difference you’ll make. It’s a worthwhile difference to make and YOU can do that.

It’s only a question of whether or not YOU will! So answer the question today by telling, and maybe even showing, someone how much they matter to YOU!

When Does Integrity Really Matter?

Steve Keating 8 Comments

This integrity stuff is pretty complicated. We can’t have enough of it. We need integrity for work, we need some more at home, maybe a little with friends, and we sure can’t forget about the people at church, we sure want our church friends to know we have integrity. 

There are apparently different “types” of integrity too. There is work or professional integrity. There is personal integrity and the integrity we display with family and close friends. Some people have that “special” integrity they use when they really want to impress people with their honesty.

Integrity gets complicated when we have to determine which “kind” to use and when to use it. There is really no point in using the “special” integrity with the people closest to us because they will see through it in about 10 seconds. 

Sometimes we forget we’re at work and our personal integrity slips out. That’s not good because often times our personal integrity is not up to the standards of our professional integrity. When that happens the people we work with could start to question whether we have integrity at all. 

And they should!

You see, integrity really isn’t complicated at all. You either have integrity all the time or you have no integrity. Integrity and ethics go hand in hand. When you sacrifice your ethics for any reason your integrity goes right out the window with it.

Integrity isn’t complicated because you don’t need several “kinds” of integrity. If fact, you can’t have more than one if you wanted to because there is only one true “kind” of integrity. It’s the kind where you do the right thing solely because it’s the right thing to do.

Most people know the right thing to do. They have a hard time admitting that because often times doing the right thing means not doing the thing they really want to do. 

If you struggle with what’s “right” here are two ideas:

Get yourself a mentor. Find someone who cares about you, who is someone you trust and admire and hopefully someone who has achieved some level of success. A good mentor helps you look at things from more directions than you can see them alone. They can provide you with clarity that’s hard to achieve on your own. They will help you discover “right.”  By the way, your current level of success makes no difference, you will be more successful if you have a mentor.

Know and understand your core values and principles. Who are you really? Do you even know? It’s amazing to me how little time most people spend understanding themselves and determining the principles they will fight for. It’s your core values and principles that help you determine right from wrong. Those core values help you to know where your lines are that you won’t cross. Your core values and principles guide you to sound decisions and help you to eliminate regret from your life.

Integrity becomes easier to find, nurture and grow when you know your core values. Discover who you are today and every one of tomorrow’s decisions will be easier. 

So when does integrity really matter?  It matters every minute of everyday. It matters at work, at home, with friends and with family. Most of all it matters with you. Everybody else may be fooled by the appearance of your integrity from time to time but you never will.

You know, in your heart of hearts you know, if you have integrity or not. 

Listen to This, Not This

Steve Keating 9 Comments

Yes, that’s what I said, I said NOT to listen! I suppose you think it’s kind of odd that I would say don’t listen, especially considering how many times I have blogged or tweeted about the importance of listening. 

The most successful people listen well. The most successful salespeople are some of the best listeners you’ll ever find. When you listen you learn. You can learn more in a minute of listening then you can learn in a lifetime of talking. 

The ability to build strong relationships with another is directly related to your ability to listen. So many people just want someone to listen to them. If you’re that someone who is willing and able to listen then you could make yourself a new friend in a big hurry. 

I have a friend who was flying from Minneapolis to Miami and before his flight even took off his seat-mate had struck up a conversation and they talked all the way to Miami. Well, “they” didn’t really talk, his seat-mate actually did 95% of the talking while my friend simply listened, talking only enough to answer questions and keep the “conversation” going.  

At the end of the flight my friend’s seat-mate noted how enjoyable the trip had been and commented on what a wonderful conversationalist my friend was. I always knew my friend, Mark, was a great listener and that flight proved it. 

People who listen well use all their senses to listen; they listen with their eyes, with their heart, with their experience, and of course they listen to understand not just to respond.

People who listen well focus on what the other person is saying and they linger on their words, not responding until they are certain what was said. Most of us are frankly afraid that if we hesitate too long to respond we will look dumb so we often respond too soon and prove that we are. 

Always listen well and you’ll succeed….. or will you? I’ve already said I’m a huge proponent of listening well but now I need to qualify that a bit by adding this:

Be careful what AND who, you listen too. There will be people in your life that tell you that you can’t succeed. Some of them will just be making a “throw-away” comment, having nothing to base their comment on. Sadly, some will simply be hoping you fail because they failed before you and really sadly, some of them do not have your best interest in mind. DON’T listen to any of it. DON’T listen to people who say you cannot succeed and for heavens sake, never say that to yourself. 

Don’t listen to negative people, their negativity IS contagious, you may think they can’t affect you but if you listen to enough of their garbage you will be affected. Just do yourself a huge favor and stay away from them. Hanging around people of limited success is the fastest way to limit your own success!

So, listen up but be careful what and who you listen to. It’s great to be a good listener but only if what you listened to is equally great! 

Are you listening?

The Value of Appreciation

Steve Keating 9 Comments

One of the best ways to build strong, positive relationships with friends, relatives, business associates, or customers, is to show appreciation. Going out of our way to tell AND show people how much we appreciate what they have done, regardless of how unimportant or little it might have been, puts us in the minority of people.

I can virtually promise that someone in your life has done something for you that deserves a simple thank you or some small sign of appreciation. Here are a few ideas to consider:

1. Call at least one person a day, everyday, to thank him or her for something.

2. Send out five thank-you notes a week. There is power in the written word and a written thank you carries a ton more “weight” than even the hardiest verbal thank you. 

3. Don’t wait to show your appreciation. Do it now. Even the best of intentions isn’t as good as the poorest worded thank you. If someone deserves your appreciation then give it, the sooner the better.

4. Do what you do for others without the expectation of appreciation. When you want something back, that is not a gift – it’s a barter.

When you are appreciative it makes other people feel they want to do more for you even though that was not your agenda. When we fail to show appreciation, it makes others feel they want to do less or nothing for us.

Someone in your life feels a word of appreciation has been earned. Can you guess who it might be?  You have absolutely nothing to lose? A simple thank you doesn’t cost anything, and it can mean so much to people who have gone out of their way for you.

Don’t wait another moment, be thankful and show thanks now!