Tag Worry

The Power of Perspective: How to Keep Life’s Challenges in Check

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed that everything seems to set us off. A tough critique at work, a spat with a friend, a never-ending to-do list—suddenly, the world can feel like it’s crashing down. But the truth is, most of what stresses us out are just small pieces of a much larger, more complex puzzle.

Learning how to keep things in perspective isn’t about ignoring problems; it’s about developing a mindset that prevents minor setbacks from hijacking your overall well-being.

I’m a big believer in living in what Dale Carnegie called, “Day-Tight Compartments.” Living each day in its own 24 hours. That means not allowing yesterday’s “stuff” to impact today’s efforts. It means not over-worrying about tomorrow’s events at the cost of today’s happiness and productivity.

Living in Day-Tight Compartments is the superpower that lets you navigate storms without sinking your entire ship.

Here are a few practical strategies you can use to zoom out and regain your footing when life feels too big and your Day-Tight Compartment starts to get a little leaky.

1. The 10/10/10 Rule

When you’re facing a stressful decision or a major upset, try asking yourself these three simple questions:

How will I feel about this in 10 minutes? (Immediate impact)

How will I feel about this in 10 months? (Mid-term impact)

How will I feel about this in 10 years? (Long-term impact)

Most of the things that cause immediate distress—that awkward email, a spilled coffee, a missed deadline—will have zero emotional weight in 10 months or 10 years. This exercise instantly shifts your focus from the current drama to the long-term reality, often shrinking the problem down to its true, manageable size.

2. The “Worst-Case Scenario” Check

Our minds are masters of catastrophizing. When we feel anxious, we often jump straight to the most dramatic, scary outcomes without checking the facts.

Next time you feel a worry spiraling, take a moment to define the absolute worst-case scenario. Write it down. Then, ask yourself two more questions:

How likely is this truly to happen? (Be honest, not fearful.)

If it did happen, what is the absolute minimum I could do to recover?

By confronting the “worst” and creating a fallback plan, you strip away its power. You realize that even if the worst happens, you would be okay, and you have the resourcefulness to handle it. You move from panic to planning. This will take a ton of weight off your shoulders.

3. Embrace the “Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence”

This concept, popularized by Stephen Covey, is critical for reducing stress over things you cannot control.

Circle of Concern: Everything you worry about—the economy, the weather, what others think of you, a coworker’s bad mood.

Circle of Influence: The things you can actually do something about—your effort, your attitude, your boundaries, and how you spend your time.

When stress hits, identify what part of the problem falls into your Circle of Influence. Don’t waste energy fretting over the weather (Concern); focus on bringing an umbrella (Influence). By dedicating your time and energy only to what you can control, you become more effective and less burdened.

4. Practice Gratitude Daily

It sounds almost silly, but a consistent gratitude practice is one of the most powerful tools for perspective. When you focus on what you lack or what went wrong, you narrow your vision. Gratitude forces you to widen it.

Take three minutes every morning or evening to list three specific things you are genuinely grateful for. It could be your morning coffee, a good night’s sleep, or the support of a friend.

This simple act reminds you that even on a bad day, your life is filled with existing good things—and the minor setback you’re currently facing doesn’t invalidate any of them. It puts your troubles into a richer, fuller context, which tends to shrink them.

A Final Thought: You Are More Than Your Problems

Remember that you are not your immediate circumstances. Hope is the understanding that our current circumstances are very unlikely to be our permanent circumstances. A bad day is a single data point, not a complete picture of your life. That means we always have hope. When you feel trapped by a current challenge, step back, breathe, and use one of these tools to zoom out.

The ability to keep things in perspective isn’t a trait you’re born with; it’s a skill you build, day by day, worry by worry. Start practicing today, and watch how much smaller and easier to manage your challenges become.

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How to Stay Calm in Crazy Times

Steve Keating 2 Comments

I saw a story this past weekend about a guy who had foolishly lost everything—his house, his business, and his entire 401k—betting on NFL football last season. I felt bad about his house and business; I really hope he didn’t have a family that he caused to be homeless.

But when it came to his 401k, my first thought was “lucky SOB.” I’ll bet he’s not worried about what tariffs are doing to his retirement accounts. I say that only half-jokingly because lots of people are pretty freaked out about what’s going on with the stock market. Others are concerned about inflation ramping back up. People looking to buy a home or a new car are worried about what interest rates may or may not do.

It’s a whole lotta chaos everywhere you look, kinda like the world has gone crazy.

Worse yet, it seems like most of the chaos causing “stuff” is self-inflicted.

We won’t get into the good and bad of tariffs and their effects on the world economy. This post is more about avoiding panic, stress, and anxiety in the face of news stories that are all of those things.

Staying calm when everything looks, feels, and kind of is chaotic can be tough. But tough is not impossible; in fact, it’s very doable with some practical strategies.

First, focus on what you can control—your own actions, thoughts, and reactions. The world might be a mess, but you don’t have to let it dictate your thoughts, actions, and attitude. Start by slowing down your breathing: inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four. The simplicity of that seems weird, but it really does work to calm your nerves.

Next, limit the “noise.” If the chaos is coming from news or social media, get away from it. You don’t need a constant stream of insanity—check in once a day if you must, but don’t drown in it. Replace that with something grounding: walk outside, listen to music, or focus on a task like cooking or fixing something. Physical activity burns off worry and stress, so even pacing around your room can help.

Your mind will try to spiral—catch it. When you notice yourself catastrophizing, ask: “What’s the next thing I can do?” Keep it small, something you can do without help if possible. And something you can do immediately. Chaos thrives on overwhelm; you fight it with focus. Talk to someone steady if you can—a friend who’s not losing their head, for instance. Perspective helps.

Finally, accept that some craziness is just part of life. You don’t have to fix the world to keep your own head straight. It’s about carving out your own pocket of calm, no matter what’s raging outside.

In his best-selling book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” Dale Carnegie recommends that in times of excessive stress we “live in day-tight compartments.” What he meant by that is that we should not borrow worry from yesterday, tomorrow, or even the next hour. Focus on the task at hand; worry about what comes next when “next” arrives.

Staying calm when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control is hard—but totally possible. It’s about keeping your personal balance when everything, and everyone else, feels off balance.

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How to Worry Less

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Worrying is worthless! So don’t worry. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that simple?

Controlling worry and the stress that accompanies it is anything but easy. If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re human. That means you worry, at least sometimes.

The more you can control worry in your life, the better your life will be. As hard as it is, it is possible to reduce the amount of worry we allow into our lives. First, you must understand that you are not powerless over worry. You can make a conscious decision to limit its impact on your life.

To worry less, you’ll likely have to change your mindset and develop some new habits. The kind of habits that help you manage stress and anxiety more effectively. Here are some strategies you can use to accomplish that and live a less stressful life as a result.

1. Focus on What You Can Control

• Identify what you can and cannot control: Worry often comes from focusing on things beyond your control. Shift your energy toward what you can actually change or influence.

• Let go of what you can’t control: Accepting uncertainty helps reduce stress and keeps your attention on practical actions.

2. Take Action

• Problem-solve: Instead of dwelling on problems, take action where possible. Break tasks into smaller steps and address one issue at a time.

• Create a plan: Having a plan can make worries seem less overwhelming. Write down possible solutions and steps you can take to mitigate your concerns.

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts

• Recognize distorted thinking: Worry often stems from irrational thoughts. Notice patterns like catastrophizing (assuming the worst will happen) or all-or-nothing thinking (seeing things as only good or bad).

• Reframe negative thoughts: Replace exaggerated worries with balanced, realistic thinking. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” or “What’s the worst that could happen, and how likely is that?”

4. Set Time Limits for Worry

• Create a “worry time”: Set aside a specific time each day to worry. When anxious thoughts arise outside that time, remind yourself to deal with them later.

• Limit the duration: Give yourself 10-15 minutes to focus on your concerns. Once the time is up, move on to something productive.

5. Develop Healthy Habits

• Exercise: Physical activity is a great stress reliever. Regular exercise helps to lower anxiety and boost your mood.

• Get enough sleep: Lack of sleep increases worry and stress. Prioritize good sleep practices by establishing a bedtime routine and creating a restful environment.

6. Limit Overthinking

• Distract yourself with positive activities: Try hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or focus on meaningful tasks. These will shift your mind away from negative thoughts.

• Practice gratitude: Regularly reflect on what you’re grateful for. This can shift your focus away from worry and help you see the good in your life.

7. Seek Support

• Talk to someone: Sharing your worries with a trusted friend or family member can offer perspective and reduce your burden.

• Join support groups: Connecting with others can provide comfort and useful coping strategies.

There will always be some worry in your life. But by practicing these techniques, you can train yourself to worry less and handle stress more effectively. This will take some effort, but consider all of life’s joys that worry steals from you.

You can recapture all of that and protect it in the future by deciding that YOU will control the worry you allow into your life, not other people or random circumstances.

The only question is… will you make that choice?

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How to Deal With Worry and Stress

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Dealing with worry and stress is essential for maintaining mental and physical well-being. While it’s natural to experience these emotions from time to time, chronic worry and stress can have a ton of adverse effects on your health. You likely won’t like hearing this but the truth is, most of the stress in our lives is self-inflected. We over commit, we allow others easy access to our time, and we struggle mightily to say the one little word that is a proven stress killer…no.

But sometimes no just isn’t appropriate, like when the boss “encourages” you to say yes. So here are some other ideas that can help you manage and reduce worry and stress.

• Start by pinpointing the specific causes of your worry and stress. Knowing what’s triggering these feelings can help you address the root of the problem. Looking in the mirror is a great place to start. Before anything else, make certain it’s not you who holds the unrealistic expectations of what you can and cannot do.

• Get away from the source. Even a short break from the source of the stress can make a ton of difference. That’s why it’s so important to NOT eat lunch at your desk. It may seem to be productive but it’s often the most counterproductive thing you can do. You need to recharge, even if it’s only for 15-30 minutes. You’ll finish the day with more energy and less stress.

• So, I don’t have a lot of credibility here but people who know about this stuff swear that physical activity can release endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. They say regular exercise also helps reduce stress hormones in your body. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

• I’m getting better at this and can vouch for the fact that a well-balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can positively impact your mood and stress levels. Avoid excessive caffeine and sugar, which can exacerbate anxiety.

• Prioritize getting enough sleep each night (typically 7-9 hours for adults). Lack of sleep can make stress worse, so establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

• Organize your tasks and prioritize them. No one has more time than you. But if you’re constantly stressed out it’s likely because you don’t have well defined priorities. Create a to-do list and break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Do them in order of importance…this is why you NEED priorities. This can prevent feeling overwhelmed.

• Some goals need to stretch you to your limits. If they don’t you’ll never know what your limits truly are. But don’t set yourself up for failure by making every goal overly ambitious. Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a given timeframe.

• I once went to Urgent Care with a sore arm. The doctor asked me when the arm hurt. I said whenever I move it like this. He said, “okay, don’t move it like that.” I wanted my copay back. But I got his point, if something is causing pain then stop doing it. The source of the pain might fix itself in short order. It works that way for stress too. If possible, avoid or limit exposure to situations, or environments that consistently cause stress. This might involve setting boundaries or making lifestyle changes. If you’ve identified certain people around you as a source of your stress limit your time around those people as much as possible.

• I have a personal “rule” that there must be some fun in everyday. It’s a top top priority for me. It should be for you too. So invest some time doing activities you enjoy and that help you relax, whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or listening to music. These can serve as healthy distractions.

• Regularly remind yourself of the things you’re grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus from negative thoughts to positive ones. The new iPhone operating system makes it incredibly easy to keep track of what you’re grateful for. This is unscientific but I’m pretty darn sure stress can’t find its way into a grateful heart.

• Sorry friends but booze might hide stress for a little while but it doesn’t do a thing to eliminate it. In fact, excessive use of stimulants like caffeine and alcohol can exacerbate stress and anxiety. Moderation is key, and reducing or eliminating these substances may be best.

Remember that managing worry and stress is an ongoing process. It requires a fair amount of intentionality. What works for one person may not work for another, so experiment with different strategies to find what suits you best. Consistency and patience are key to long-term stress management.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success.

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

What Are You Worried About?

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Is it just me or is there more to worry about these days than ever before? The list of world events and likely, events in your own country, to worry about seems to grow longer every day. Plus, we have our own stuff to worry about. Money, work, family, health, pets, cars, and of course, what’s for dinner. 

Some people seem to enjoy worrying. Or at least “helping” other people worry. They enjoy it so much that when they don’t have anything to worry about they make something up. 

Research shows that 40 million Americans are virtually paralyzed by worry and fear. They worry about everything. 

The same research shows that 40% of what people worry about, never happens. That number seems low to me but even at 40% it’s substantial. 30% of the things people worry about can’t be changed. And the saddest statistic of all is that 20% of our worries are focused on other people’s opinion of us. We worry about what other people think of us. Often people who are merely passing through our lives. What their opinion of us is doesn’t matter one bit and still, we worry. 

But 10% of our worries are legitimate. Health issues lead the way closely followed by financial concerns. In some parts of the world, like the United States for instance, it is issues with health that lead directly to the concern about money. 

So what can we do with those legitimate reasons to worry? 

We’ll likely never completely eliminate the worry but the worst thing we can do is only worry. 

Here’s a few proven effective suggestions from Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Stop Worrying and Start living. 

When facing trouble he says to, ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?” Then prepare to accept the worst. Next, we should try to improve on the worst.

Following that suggestion will cause us to take some action or at least think more strategically about the situation. That’s way better than being paralyzed with worry. 

He also suggests that you remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. Worry often begets more worry and it quickly becomes a downward spiral. If we can keep busy and focus on the things we can control it will lessen our level of worry. 

We should never give a problem or situation more worry than it’s worth. Here is a basic technique for analyzing worry to help us avoid that trap. 

  1. Get all the facts.
  2. Weight all the facts — then come to a decision.
  3. Once a decision is reached, act!
  4. Write out and answer the following questions:
    What is the problem?
    What are the causes of the problem?
    What are the possible solutions?
    What is the best possible solution?

Again, those problem solving questions lead directly to action being taken to control the source of our worry. Often they lead us to determine there is no real cause for worry.

Worry is a part of life. The key to a happier and more successful life is to take charge of worry before it takes charge of you. Just remember, that’s a choice for your life that only you can make. 

On a another note… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

The Best Stress Eliminator, EVER!

Steve Keating 1 Comment

For most people the majority of the stress in their lives is self-inflected. We worry about stuff that hasn’t happened and likely never will. We imagine unlikely possibilities over and over until we are convinced they are almost certain to happen.

Nothing eliminates stress and worry better than action. The most effective action you can take to eliminate stress from your life is to make decisions.

Sitting around wondering what to do and when to do it mixes life into a toxic combination of fear, worry and stress. Making a decision and acting on it becomes a powerful elixir of motivating control over your life. 

You may be thinking that if the whole decision making and taking action thing was as easy as I make it sound you would have already done it. Well, I’ll admit that sometimes it’s not so easy but I’ve never seen a time where it wasn’t possible. So I’ll share with you now 7 “mini actions” that by themselves are far easier to do. When done together and in order they lead to nothing less than freedom from that toxic combination.

First resolve to do something about the situation that is causing you the stress. If that seems simplistic it isn’t. Many many people dwell on their problems with the assumption that “there is nothing they can do.” The first little baby step is deciding that you will try something to free yourself from that situation. You MUST know that every situation is temporary, the question is will you control your future or allow circumstances to control it for you.

Next gather information. Some of the information you’ll need to make a good decision will come from self-reflection. What are your strengths, what are your weaknesses. Some of the information will come from outside sources. Books, online research that pertains to your situation and trusted friends. Be sure to talk only to friends and family that care enough about you to be honest and that have your best interests in mind.

The information you collect will likely lead to several possible action steps. Make a list of all the possible alternations. Use your desired outcome to create additional alternatives if none of the alternatives you see take you where you want to go.

Now you’ll need to weigh the alternatives against your desired outcome using your personal values to guide you to choosing the best one. List the alternatives in priority order with the one most likely to help you achieve your goal as number one. Number one will become Plan A but plans don’t always work so you’ll want a Plan B and C. That eliminates the stress of worrying about what happens if Plan A doesn’t work. You’ll know exactly what you will do next.

Choose your alternative. If you can’t decide between two alternatives then flip a coin. If that sounds like a ridiculous way to determine your future then consider this…in the moment that coin is in the air you’ll know exactly which way you hope it falls. You will have made your decision! 

The most important step is acting on your decision. Action defeats stress and worry. Even if the decision turns out to be the wrong decision you will have made progress. Even a little progress, maybe even in the not so right direction, is better than sitting still wallowing in stress. 

Share your decision and plan with people who care about you. Ask them for help with accountability to stick with your plan. Ask them to make sure your action is constant until the stress inducing situation is resolved. 

You do not need stress in your life. Decisions and the actions that follow eliminates stress. Now, stop thinking about this post and DO something.

Day-tight Compartments

Steve Keating 4 Comments

The world is being overtaken with worry. Well…that’s not exactly right, it would be more accurate to say the world has been overtaken with worry. We have more to worry about than ever before. 

Or do we?

I think it’s good to keep “things” in perspective so let’s look at a few numbers. 40% of the things most people worry about never happen. 30% of the things people worry about are completely out of their control. They couldn’t change them if they tried. 20% of our worries come straight out of someone else’s opinion and have nothing to do with fact. 

If I’m counting my fingers and toes correctly that adds up to 90%! 90% of our worrying is a complete waste of time and energy. 90% of our worrying does nothing but pummel our joy and enthusiasm. We receive no return on that investment of time and energy so stop investing in worry. 

So what about the other 10%?

In Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” (the greatest book every written on the subject of controlling worry) he provides a set of principles that are life changing. One of them has served me particularly well. It’s one of the first principles in the book and it says to “live in day-tight compartments.” 

That principle simply says don’t worry about what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. It says to focus all your energy on what is happening right now because that’s what you have the greatest chance of controlling. 

Take the pandemic for instance. I have no idea (does anybody?) how this ends. I have no idea what happens tomorrow or next week. I just know what I can do today to give myself and my family the best chance of staying healthy…so that’s where I’m focusing my energy. 

I have a bunch of big presentations coming up in the next few weeks. If I tried to focus on all of them I’d probably go crazy. So I’m only focused on my next one. That’s the presentation that has to be the best. Once I’m done with that one then it’s the next one that must be the best. The fact that some of these are on the same day or consecutive days makes no difference, they are all in their own “tight compartments” and they will happen one at a time. So why worry about one a couple weeks away?

I know the first thought of many people when they hear “don’t worry” is “easier said than done.” Well EVERYTHING worth doing is easier said than done. But here’s another bit of advice from Mr. Carnegie’s book that might help.

He says when facing trouble to do these three things:

  • Ask yourself what the worst possible outcome is if you can’t solve your problem.
  • Mentally prepare to accept the worst if necessary.
  • Then calmly work to improve upon the worst possible outcome.

I’ve found very few antidotes to worry that are more effective than using your time and energy to solve the issue that’s causing the worry. Even if you’re unsuccessful you’ll have eliminated a great deal of worry from your life. 

So worry if you must but don’t worry about yesterday, that’s now completely out of your control. And don’t borrow worry from tomorrow, just deal with it as it comes. There is at least a 40% chance that it never does.