How to Lead Your Leader

Even good leaders needs a little help once in a while. Great leaders will accept that help from anyone, even the people who are more often following them. When you step up to “Lead Your Leader” you’re demonstrating not just your own leadership skills but also your willingness to do more than what’s required of you. You’ll be “leading up” in your organization.

Leading up can be dicey, especially if your leader isn’t exactly asking for help. Sometimes they may even resist your help. But your ability to navigate through those challenges will help prepare you for the next level of leadership in your organization. It’ll also help you stand out to the people in the organization above your leader. That will help you earn more, and better opportunities within your organization.

But understand this absolute fact… I am not suggesting you betray the trust of your leader. I’m not encouraging you to “go over their head” and I’m certainly not recommending that you do anything that would make them look bad or hinder their leadership in any way.

Leading up will at times require providing help that makes a positive difference without being noticed or receiving “credit” for it. It can’t always involve getting noticed or rewarded. Sometimes you’ll need to lead up for the simple reason that it’s the right thing to do.

Since few leaders ever reach the very top of their organization you will likely, sooner or later, find yourself in a position where the ability to lead up will be very valuable. To lead up in your organization requires that you understand the goals of your leader, their communication style, strengths, and weaknesses, and then using that knowledge to support and guide them effectively. Here are some steps to successfully lead your leader.

Understand Their Vision. Take the time to understand your leader’s vision and goals. What are they trying to achieve, and why? Align yourself with their vision to better support them. If they don’t openly communicate their vision and goals then ask. In some cases merely asking the can help your leader crystalize their thinking and better communicate their expectations for the team.

Build Trust. Establish trust with your leader by being reliable, transparent, and accountable. Show that you are committed to their success and the success of the team or organization.

Communication. Communicate openly and effectively with your leader. Keep them informed about important developments, challenges, and successes. Understand their preferred communication style and adapt accordingly.

Provide Feedback. Offer constructive feedback to your leader when necessary. This can include suggestions for improvement or highlighting areas where they excel. Be respectful and tactful in how you deliver feedback. This is where leading up can become dicey. This is why building trust with your leader is so important. When they know you have their best interests, and the best interests of the organization in mind, they are likely to be much more open to your feedback.

Support Their Weaknesses. Identify areas where your leader may have weaknesses and offer support where needed. This could involve taking on additional responsibilities, providing training or resources, or offering assistance in specific areas of expertise. Offer support to your leader, don’t gossip about their weaknesses behind their back. Because if you do, you can forget about that trust you’ve been trying to build.

Play to Their Strengths. Recognize and leverage your leader’s strengths. Encourage them to utilize their talents and skills to achieve their goals and the goals of the team.

Be Proactive. Anticipate your leader’s needs and take initiative to address them. This could involve problem-solving, streamlining processes, or identifying opportunities for improvement. Do more than is required and do more than is expected of you. Don’t wait to be asked, offer to help instead.

Lead by Example. Demonstrate leadership qualities in your own actions and behavior. Show initiative, integrity, and a strong work ethic, which can inspire your leader and others to do the same. This involves leading yourself exceptionally well. Remember, if you can’t lead yourself then you can’t lead anyone.

Seek Collaboration. Foster a collaborative relationship with your leader, where ideas are shared openly, and decisions are made collectively. Encourage teamwork and cooperation among colleagues to achieve common objectives.

Stay Flexible. Be adaptable and flexible in your approach to leading your leader. Recognize that leadership styles and priorities may evolve over time, and be willing to adjust your approach accordingly.

Leading people is very rewarding, that’s especially true when leading your leader. By taking these steps, you can effectively lead up. You can contribute to the overall success of your team or organization and you can develop your own leadership skills for the future.

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How to Develop Your Leadership Skills

I talk to a lot of people who say they want to become leaders. Most of them don’t actually even know what that means. What many of them really want is a leadership position. They want the so called “perks” of leadership which of course frequently includes higher pay. They believe leadership is about them.

Authentic Leadership is about helping other people, often ordinary people, achieve extraordinary results. It’s about sometimes sacrificing what you want for the benefit of others. It’s about putting your own ego on the back burner so that the people you lead receive the recognition they need and deserve. Authentic Leadership is about truly, genuinely, and sincerely caring deeply for others.

Authentic Leaders don’t grow more followers. They don’t worry about building bigger departments. They don’t worry about more impressive titles or corner offices. They care about helping their people be successful, in their careers and in their lives.

Most of the people who say they want to become leaders fail to realize that they already have the opportunity to lead. They can and should be leading themselves every single day. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to lead other people if we can’t lead ourselves. Most everything that would one day make them an Authentic Leader they can “practice” with themselves.

If you are sincere in your desire to become an Authentic Leader, and not a leader in title only, then here’s some things you’ll need to know.

Developing oneself into a leader is a continuous and intentional process. A process that involves personal growth, skill development, and a commitment to leading others effectively. Here are some of the initial steps you’ll want to take on your journey to Authentic Leadership.

• Self-awareness: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Reflect on your experiences and identify areas for improvement. Self-awareness is the foundation for leadership development so you better be brutally honest with yourself here. If you’re not then your ability to lead others will likely be dead on arrival.

• Set clear goals: Define your long-term and short-term goals. This will give you a sense of direction and purpose. Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable tasks to make progress more manageable. Goals are the stuff success is made of and that’s as true in leadership as in any other part of life.

• Continuous learning: Commit to lifelong learning. Stay informed about industry trends, leadership theories, and new technologies. Attend workshops, seminars, and conferences to expand your knowledge. The day you know all you need to know about leadership is the last day you’ll truly be leading.

• Build strong communication skills: Effective leaders are good communicators. Work on your verbal and written communication skills. Learn to express your ideas clearly and listen actively to others. Communication is absolutely beyond crucial for building trust and collaboration. I just can’t say enough about the need for excellent communication skills when it comes to leadership.

• Develop emotional intelligence: Understand and manage your emotions while being empathetic towards others. Emotional intelligence helps in building positive relationships, resolving conflicts, and motivating team members. A high EQ will help you developing an understanding of the people you lead. It’s that understanding that will help you build your heart into the caring heart of an Authentic Leader.

• Take on leadership roles: Seek opportunities to lead others, even in small ways. This could involve volunteering for projects, leading team meetings, or taking on mentorship roles. Practical experience is invaluable for leadership development.

• Build a strong network: Connect with professionals in your industry and beyond. Networking provides opportunities for mentorship, collaboration, and exposure to different perspectives. Build relationships with people who can support your leadership journey.

• Adaptability: Develop the ability to adapt to change. In today’s dynamic work environment, leaders need to be flexible and open to new ideas. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

• Decision-making skills: Hone your decision-making abilities. Leaders often face tough choices, and the ability to make informed decisions is crucial. Consider the potential outcomes. Consult with others when necessary. Take responsibility for your decisions.

• Lead by example: Demonstrate the qualities you expect from others. Be ethical, reliable, and accountable. Leaders must lead by example to inspire trust and loyalty from their team. And remember, loyalty is a two-way street. If you want people to be loyal, YOU must be loyal first.

• Seek feedback: Solicit feedback from peers, mentors, and team members. Constructive feedback provides valuable insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Authentic Leaders are not afraid to seek that feedback even when they think it’s not going to be what they want to hear. They use that feedback as a tool for continuous improvement.

• Stay resilient: Leadership comes with challenges and setbacks. Cultivate resilience to bounce back from failures and learn from them. A resilient leader remains focused on long-term goals despite short-term obstacles. As “they” say, “if leadership was easy, everybody would be doing it.”

Authentic Leadership development is a lifelong journey, and there is always room for improvement. Be proactive, embrace challenges, and continually seek ways to enhance your leadership skills. When you do, you’ll discover the rich rewards of making a long-term impact on the lives of the people you serve as a leader.

That’s worth way more than the “perks” mere leader wannabes will ever get.

Building Trust in Leadership 

Integrity is the single most important ingredient for Authentic Leadership. From integrity springs trust and absent trust there can be no actual followership. For a leader to truly lead they need the commitment of the people they lead. 

People cannot commit to someone they do not trust. It is emotionally impossible. When people trust their leaders, they are more likely to be engaged, productive, and willing to go the extra mile. 

There are many things that leaders can do to build trust, here are a few of them.

  • Be honest and transparent. Leaders should always be honest with their people, even when it is difficult. They should also be transparent about their decision-making process and why they are making the decisions they are making.
  • Be consistent. Leaders should always follow through on their promises and commitments. If they say they are going to do something, they should do it.
  • Be fair and just. Leaders should treat all of their people fairly and justly, regardless of their personal feelings or opinions. Whether you like them or not has nothing to do with leading them.
  • Be open to feedback. Leaders should be willing to listen to feedback from their people, even if it is negative. They should also be willing to make changes based on feedback.
  • Be supportive. Leaders should be supportive of their people, both professionally and personally. They should be there to help them succeed and to provide them with the resources they need to do their jobs.
  • Be humble. Leaders should be humble and recognize that they do not have all the answers. They should be willing to learn from anyone and to admit when they are wrong.

Building trust takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When people trust their leaders, they commit to them. It’s a fool’s errand to try and get people to commit to a company or brand. People can only truly commit to other people. Absent trust, there simply can be no commitment. 

So here are some additional tips for building trust as a leader.

  • Get to know your people. Invest the time to get to know them on a personal level. This will help you build relationships with them and to understand their needs and concerns.
  • Delegate tasks and responsibilities. When you delegate tasks and responsibilities to your team, you are showing them that you trust them. This will help build their confidence and make them feel valued.
  • Recognize and reward good work. When your people do a good job, be sure to recognize and reward them. This will show them that you appreciate their hard work and that you are committed to their success.
  • Be a role model. As a leader you’re leading by example whether you know it or not. Whether you intend to or not. Leaders should set a good example for their people. This means being honest, ethical, and responsible. ALL THE TIME. It also means being someone that your people can look up to and respect.

Building trust is critical if you hope to be a successful leader. By following these suggestions, you can build trust with your people and create a culture of caring honesty and growth.

How to Lead and How Not to Lead – another post in that periodic series 

As usual, let’s talk about the how not to lead first…

Leadership without integrity is an impossibility. So if your goal is to NOT be mistaken for a leader then don’t worry about saying one thing and doing another. Things change. You also have the right to change your mind any time you want to. For any reason you want to. It’s nobody’s business but your own. 

As someone in a leadership position you owe no one an explanation for saying one thing and doing another. If someone doesn’t like it that’s their problem, not yours. People who you are supposed to be leading should learn your word is worthless. They should just fall in line and go with the flow.  

Everybody knows that sometimes keeping your commitments is impossible and people need to be adaptable. Honoring commitments is so old fashioned that it’s hysterical anyone still expects it. People who expect you to actually lead need to get a clue! 

Trying to explain your decisions or thought process to the people you are supposed to be leading makes you look weak. It makes you look foolish. Worse yet, it makes you look like someone who might care about what your people think of you. 

Never forget, the people you boss around are the “little people” and there is no point in trying to explain your big thoughts to the likes of them. 

Of course, there is also the possibility that you actually DO want to lead. In that case you may want to do things a little differently. 

Things do indeed change and when they do you should be the first one to acknowledge it. You MUST alert people the instant you become aware of the change. Delaying only casts doubt on your credibility. You need to explain why the change is taking place and how it will affect your people. 

If you can’t honor your commitments, you need to apologize. That apology is not a sign of weakness. It is exactly the opposite. It is a sign of strength. It is a sign of your authenticity as a leader. You should also explain why you can’t honor that particular commitment and reaffirm the importance of your overall commitment to the people you lead. 

Failure to do any of that will result in a lack of respect and loyalty. It will also destroy your trust producing credibility. It erases your integrity. 

Authentic Leaders know that absent credibility, trust, and integrity, there can be no true followership. And without followers you are not a leader, no matter what your position and title says. 

On a another note… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

When Trust is Gone

Of all the things a person needs to be an Authentic Leader none is more important than the trust of the people they lead. They actually cannot lead anyone who doesn’t have a high level of trust in them. 

That’s because a sign that someone is an Authentic Follower is a commitment to the leader. Human beings don’t have the emotional ability to commit to someone they do not trust. 

People follow a leader for what the leader does for them and the organization. When they see a leader who makes decisions solely, or even mostly, for their own benefit then the trust erodes quickly. What many people in leadership positions fail to understand is that they are under a microscope and it’s the people they are trying to lead who are looking at them through that microscope. They need to know if they can trust their leader. 

They listen to what the leader says and look even closer at what they do. When the words and actions don’t align the perceived integrity of the leader takes a dive and trust goes with it. 

Authentic Leaders intentionally work to earn the trust of their people. They also demonstrate that they trust their people. 

What many people in leadership positions forget is that trust is a two-way street. While they want and often even expect their people to trust them they are less than willing to return that trust to their people. 

Most of the time people won’t explicitly tell someone they are trusted. So people generally go with their feelings. We can “just kinda tell” whether someone trusts us or not. We look for “signs” that indicate we are trusted. Things like being allowed to make decisions, call an audible on a decision that had already been made, or perhaps even work from home on occasion. 

When people are not allowed to make the most basic decision without running it past their manager (notice I didn’t say leader because leaders don’t operate this way) they feel as if they are not trusted. People who are micro-managed don’t feel trusted. People who must document every minute of their day don’t feel trusted. 

When people feel as if their manager or leader does not trust them then they will not trust their leader. It’s almost impossible to trust someone who doesn’t trust you. Absent that trust there can be no commitment. Absent that commitment there can be no Authentic Followership. Absent that followership there is no Authentic Leadership. 

You may call yourself a leader, you may hold a leadership position, you may have a big important title but if no one is following then you aren’t leading. 

If you cannot trust your people then you should have no expectation that they will trust you. If you cannot trust your people then maybe you’ve hired the wrong people. It‘s also possible that you’ve not yet earned the right to lead. 

Either way, when trust is gone so is the basic element required for a committed relationship between a leader and their people. Building trust requires effort. It requires time. It requires consistently doing what you say you will when you say you will do it. 

If you’re not willing to put in the time and make the effort then you will always struggle as a leader and your people will always struggle to follow you. 

Trust is Earned

Every person on this earth is unique. There are lots of common characteristics and similarities but no two people, not even identical twins are exactly the same. When it comes to trust all those unique people seem to fall into just two categories. 

They are either in the “I trust people until they show me they can’t be trusted” category or they are in the “I don’t trust anyone until they prove they can be trusted” category. I‘m sure there are also other people like me who bounce back and forth between the two groups based on some undefinable “feeling.” But most stick to one category or the other. 

Authentic Leaders take both groups into consideration when working to build trust. They intentionally undertake trust building actions on a very regular basis. 

They tell the truth, even uncomfortable truths. This one is fundamental. It seems obvious, but it is surprisingly easy to minimize the importance of this when it’s convenient for us. What about when someone asks if you followed up with that email you totally forgot about? You could lie, say yes, and do it that very moment. Or, you could admit that you forgot but will do it now.

You may be seen as somewhat less reliable but your credibility remains intact. 

They admit what they don’t know. Authentic Leaders value the trust of their people more than anything else. They know that “Followership” requires a commitment and without trust there is no commitment. They don’t try to BS their way to impressing people, they impress them with their honesty and authenticity.

They do what they say they will do…every time. They do not cancel meetings at the last minute, fail to show up, or a miss a deadline. The currency most important to an Authentic Leader is their word. Not doing what you’ve said you would do causes people to instantly wonder if you’ll do it again. You’ve planted that seed. If you make a habit of it, then people will learn that this is who you are and they will instinctively not trust you to follow through with commitments.

Authentic Leaders listen. They really really listen. Showing people you are willing to put aside all distractions and completely listen to them builds trust. If you’re messing with your Smartphone or trying to multitask while someone else is talking to you then you’re sending a message that they don’t matter…at least not as much as whatever it is that’s distracting you. Once they know they aren’t that important to you they will find it much harder to trust you. 

Authentic Leaders show they care. Showing you care for someone can take trust to a much higher level. As humans it’s very difficult for us to trust people who we know don’t care about us. The opposite is true as well. When we know someone cares enough about us to invest a part of themselves in our well-being then it’s much easier to trust them. 

Authentic Leaders invest the time to get to know their people so they will know how to care for them. That’s a critical step in building the emotional trust that must exist before one person is willing to commit to another. 

If you’re in a leadership position don’t make the mistake of believing people trust you because of it. There are some people who won’t trust you precisely because of it. You need to understand that trust is built everyday. It is built upon your words and actions. Everything you say and do matters…at least where trust building is involved. 

If you haven’t taken an intentional step today to increase the trust level of your team then you may need to be concerned that the trust level has decreased.

Don’t take that chance, build trust every day…it’s the one absolute prerequisite for Authentic Leadership. 

How to Make People Trust You

If you were to take the title of this post literally it would be my shortest post ever. That’s because you cannot MAKE someone, anyone, trust you. That’s not within your control.

But what is within your control is making yourself trustworthy. You have control over doing things that people will feel makes you a safe bet in the trust area. You also have control, complete control, over not doing things that would cause people to lose trust in you.

If you want to be seen as trustworthy then you must honor your commitments. You must do what you say you will do and you must do it when you said you would. Every time you fail in this area you cast doubt on the next commitment you make. It doesn’t take long before your commitments are worthless. Remember that…it doesn’t take long.

Be honest. Obviously not lying requires you to tell the truth. Being honest is more than not lying. Being honest requires that you tell the entire truth. Hiding details that matter is lying. Very often being completely honest is very difficult. If you have a dictionary handy check out the definition of difficult. Then look up the definition of impossible. You’ll see that “difficult” is not the same as impossible. So be honest if you want to be trustworthy.

Be timely. Said another way, show up when you said you would. Always! Punctuality matters and calling ahead from your cell phone to say “you’re running late” is a poor substitute to honoring another person’s time by being on time yourself. If people can’t trust you with something as basic as being on time they will doubt everything else about you as well. They really will.

Only tell your secrets. Most people love it when someone tells them a secret. They love it so much that they can’t wait to tell the secret to someone else. Don’t be a quidnunc. If someone trusts you enough to share their secret with you then keep it a secret. There probably isn’t a faster way to destroy the trust of someone than to share something they told you in confidence.

Remember, the people you gossip with today are the same people who will gossip about you tomorrow. A quidnunc is a person who loves to gossip. Are you one of those? Nobody likes to admit to gossiping but most everybody gossips. Want to destroy trust? Gossip. It’s like a nuclear bomb to trust.

Admit when you’re wrong. It’s almost funny when someone who is clearly wrong refuses to admit it. Almost funny. If you don’t have the confidence in yourself required to admit you’re wrong then how can anyone else have confidence in you? Dale Carnegie said, “when you’re wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.” Admitting to a mistake or admitting to being wrong about something you said is a trust builder. People won’t have to double check you because they know you’re double checking yourself.

Trust is the basis for all successful relationships. But even the strongest trust is fragile. It needs constant attention and effort. You can’t make someone trust you but you can make it easy for them not to.

The good news is you can also make it easier for them to see you as someone they should trust. It takes effort, it takes time, it takes consistency, and it takes intentionality.

You have what it takes to be trustworthy. The question is, will you do what it takes?