Tag Trust

How To Know if Someone Trusts You

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Have you ever had the feeling that someone didn’t trust you? Since you’ve never done anything to cause them not to trust you it can be baffling as to why they wouldn’t. But many people don’t trust automatically. They wait to see if someone is trustworthy.

So instead of asking yourself what you might have done to lose a person’s trust a better question might be, what have you done to earn it. What actions have you specifically, intentionally taken to prove your trustworthiness to the people around you? That’s an important question in business but even more important in life.

Determining if someone trusts you can be a nuanced process, as trust is a complex and subjective aspect of human relationships. It’s important to remember that trust is not always explicitly expressed. It may manifest differently in different individuals and contexts. However, there are several common indicators that can help you gauge if someone trusts you.

  • Trust is often built on open, honest, and transparent communication. If someone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you,  without fear of judgment, it’s a positive sign that they trust you.
  • When someone trusts you, they believe you will follow through on your commitments and promises. If they consistently rely on you for support, assistance, or collaboration, it suggests a level of trust in your abilities and character.
  • Trust often involves a degree of emotional vulnerability. If someone is willing to be vulnerable around you, share their insecurities, and show their true selves, it’s a strong indicator of trust.
  • Trust is also built on consistency. If your actions and behavior are consistent over time, people are more likely to trust you. Inconsistencies or unpredictability can erode trust.
  • If someone shares sensitive information with you and you respect their confidentiality by not disclosing it to others, they are more likely to trust you with future confidences.
  • When people trust your judgment, they may seek your advice or opinion on important matters. They value your input and believe that you have their best interests at heart.
  • Trust often involves emotional support. If someone turns to you for support during difficult times and you offer empathy, it indicates they trust you to provide comfort and help.
  • Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as body language and tone of voice. Someone who trusts you is likely to exhibit relaxed and open body language. They maintain eye contact, and have a warm and friendly tone when communicating.
  • When trust is present, both parties can provide constructive feedback without fearing a negative reaction. If someone is comfortable giving you feedback or is receptive to your feedback, it suggests a level of trust in the relationship.
  • Engaging in shared experiences, both positive and challenging, can deepen trust. These experiences create bonds and demonstrate that you can navigate difficult situations together.

It’s important to note that trust is not always binary; it can exist on a spectrum. Additionally, trust can be fragile and may take time to develop but can be easily damaged or lost. Building and maintaining trust in relationships require ongoing effort, consistency, and respect for each other. 

If you’re unsure about someone’s level of trust in you don’t sit and wonder. Consider having an open and honest conversation to clarify and strengthen the relationship. That demonstrates an even greater level of trust.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success.

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

How to Work for a Micromanager

Steve Keating 6 Comments

I don’t know of anyone who would say they actually enjoy working for a micromanager. But not all micromanagers are created equal. Some people micromanage out of a pure love and passion for their organization. Their enthusiasm overtakes them and they want to be involved in all aspects of their organizations. 

Those micromanagers don’t understand how they may be limiting the growth of their people. They also don’t understand that limiting the growth of their people is a sure way to limit the growth of their organization. I can’t help but cut this type of micromanager some slack. 


The other type of micromanager not so much. The other type of micromanager is a control freak. They believe they can control everything from their people’s thoughts to every action they take. Many of these micromanagers do not trust their people. I’ve got no research to support this but it’s my personal opinion that they don’t trust themselves either. 


Think about that. They hire someone they believe to be qualified and then refuse to let them do their job. It’s easy for me to believe that they didn’t trust their hiring decision. They also tend to think that no one can do anything as good as they can. They often have oversized egos. 


Working for for that type of micromanager can be especially challenging. It can make you feel frustrated, restricted, and hinder your productivity. However, it’s important to find ways to navigate the situation and maintain a positive working relationship. If you develop an adversarial relationship with your boss you almost always lose. That’s why making an effort to keep your relationship positive and professional is always worth it. 


Here are some strategies to help you work effectively with a micromanager.

  • Try to understand why your boss is a micromanager. They may have experienced past failures, have a strong attention to detail, or lack trust in their team. Recognizing their motivations can help you empathize and adapt your approach accordingly.
  • Establish clear and open lines of communication with your boss. Regularly update them on your progress, share your plans and ideas, and ask for feedback. Proactively keeping them informed can help alleviate their need to constantly check up on you.
  • Seek clarity regarding your boss’s expectations for your work. Understand their preferred level of involvement and the specific details they want to be informed about. By aligning your work with their expectations, you can reduce the need for constant supervision.
  • One effective way to gain your boss’s trust and potentially reduce micromanagement is by consistently delivering high-quality work. When they see that you’re reliable and capable of producing excellent results, they may feel more comfortable giving you greater autonomy.
  • Try to anticipate your boss’s preferences and requirements in advance. By taking the initiative to meet their expectations without being told, you can demonstrate your ability to work independently and lessen their need for constant oversight.
  • Establishing trust is crucial in any professional relationship. Be reliable, meet deadlines, and follow through on your commitments. Proactively communicate any challenges or roadblocks you encounter, along with your proposed solutions. Over time, your boss may develop more confidence in your abilities, allowing for greater autonomy.
  • Seek feedback from your boss to understand their perspective and expectations better. By showing a willingness to learn and improve, you can demonstrate that you value their input and potentially lessen their inclination to micromanage.
  • If you’ve developed a good rapport with your boss, you might consider proposing a trial period where you have more autonomy to work independently. Discuss the potential benefits of this approach, such as increased productivity and improved trust, and assure your boss that you will keep them updated on your progress.
  • When faced with challenges or obstacles, try to present potential solutions to your boss instead of only highlighting the problems. This shows that you’re proactive and capable of handling difficulties independently, which can help alleviate their need to micromanage.
  • Despite the challenges of working with a micromanager, try to maintain a positive attitude. Avoid complaining or badmouthing your boss to colleagues, as it can create a negative work environment. Instead, focus on your own growth, seek support from coworkers, and engage in activities outside of work to reduce stress.

Remember, working with a micromanager requires patience and adaptability. By implementing these strategies, you can improve your working relationship, gradually earn your boss’s trust, and potentially reduce their micromanagement tendencies.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 
If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 
Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

Building Trust in Leadership 

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Integrity is the single most important ingredient for Authentic Leadership. From integrity springs trust and absent trust there can be no actual followership. For a leader to truly lead they need the commitment of the people they lead. 

People cannot commit to someone they do not trust. It is emotionally impossible. When people trust their leaders, they are more likely to be engaged, productive, and willing to go the extra mile. 

There are many things that leaders can do to build trust, here are a few of them.

  • Be honest and transparent. Leaders should always be honest with their people, even when it is difficult. They should also be transparent about their decision-making process and why they are making the decisions they are making.
  • Be consistent. Leaders should always follow through on their promises and commitments. If they say they are going to do something, they should do it.
  • Be fair and just. Leaders should treat all of their people fairly and justly, regardless of their personal feelings or opinions. Whether you like them or not has nothing to do with leading them.
  • Be open to feedback. Leaders should be willing to listen to feedback from their people, even if it is negative. They should also be willing to make changes based on feedback.
  • Be supportive. Leaders should be supportive of their people, both professionally and personally. They should be there to help them succeed and to provide them with the resources they need to do their jobs.
  • Be humble. Leaders should be humble and recognize that they do not have all the answers. They should be willing to learn from anyone and to admit when they are wrong.

Building trust takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When people trust their leaders, they commit to them. It’s a fool’s errand to try and get people to commit to a company or brand. People can only truly commit to other people. Absent trust, there simply can be no commitment. 

So here are some additional tips for building trust as a leader.

  • Get to know your people. Invest the time to get to know them on a personal level. This will help you build relationships with them and to understand their needs and concerns.
  • Delegate tasks and responsibilities. When you delegate tasks and responsibilities to your team, you are showing them that you trust them. This will help build their confidence and make them feel valued.
  • Recognize and reward good work. When your people do a good job, be sure to recognize and reward them. This will show them that you appreciate their hard work and that you are committed to their success.
  • Be a role model. As a leader you’re leading by example whether you know it or not. Whether you intend to or not. Leaders should set a good example for their people. This means being honest, ethical, and responsible. ALL THE TIME. It also means being someone that your people can look up to and respect.

Building trust is critical if you hope to be a successful leader. By following these suggestions, you can build trust with your people and create a culture of caring honesty and growth.

How to Lead and How Not to Lead – another post in that periodic series 

Steve Keating Leave a comment

As usual, let’s talk about the how not to lead first…

Leadership without integrity is an impossibility. So if your goal is to NOT be mistaken for a leader then don’t worry about saying one thing and doing another. Things change. You also have the right to change your mind any time you want to. For any reason you want to. It’s nobody’s business but your own. 

As someone in a leadership position you owe no one an explanation for saying one thing and doing another. If someone doesn’t like it that’s their problem, not yours. People who you are supposed to be leading should learn your word is worthless. They should just fall in line and go with the flow.  

Everybody knows that sometimes keeping your commitments is impossible and people need to be adaptable. Honoring commitments is so old fashioned that it’s hysterical anyone still expects it. People who expect you to actually lead need to get a clue! 

Trying to explain your decisions or thought process to the people you are supposed to be leading makes you look weak. It makes you look foolish. Worse yet, it makes you look like someone who might care about what your people think of you. 

Never forget, the people you boss around are the “little people” and there is no point in trying to explain your big thoughts to the likes of them. 

Of course, there is also the possibility that you actually DO want to lead. In that case you may want to do things a little differently. 

Things do indeed change and when they do you should be the first one to acknowledge it. You MUST alert people the instant you become aware of the change. Delaying only casts doubt on your credibility. You need to explain why the change is taking place and how it will affect your people. 

If you can’t honor your commitments, you need to apologize. That apology is not a sign of weakness. It is exactly the opposite. It is a sign of strength. It is a sign of your authenticity as a leader. You should also explain why you can’t honor that particular commitment and reaffirm the importance of your overall commitment to the people you lead. 

Failure to do any of that will result in a lack of respect and loyalty. It will also destroy your trust producing credibility. It erases your integrity. 

Authentic Leaders know that absent credibility, trust, and integrity, there can be no true followership. And without followers you are not a leader, no matter what your position and title says. 

On a another note… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

How Trust is Really Built

Steve Keating 1 Comment

I’m not sure why but I’ve seen a ton of blog posts and various articles lately about building trust. Most of them are about particular words you either should or shouldn’t use if you want to build trust. 

Some of them talk about tone of voice or making eye contact when you want someone to know you’re being particularly truthful. I love that word combo “particularly truthful.”

Imagine someone writing about building trust and in the article seeming to indicate that sometimes you’re more truthful than others. When you want to convince someone you can be trusted then you should be “particularly truthful.” They don’t explain what you should be the rest of the time so I’m left to wonder about it. 

What surprises me about every single article and post I’ve read the last few weeks on building trust, and there have been many of them, is that not a single one of them talked about being trustworthy. The talk about using “trustable” words and phrases. A few even talked about behaving in a certain way to convince people you can be trusted. 

But not one said to build trust by actually being trustworthy. 

To me being trustworthy is saying exactly what you mean and doing exactly what you say. All the time. It’s about honoring your commitments, every commitment. All the time. 

When your words match your actions, even if not everyone agrees with them, you will be trusted. 

If you’re forced to use certain words for people to trust you then I’d have to say it’s possible you’re not trustworthy. If you have to behave in any other way than being your normal self then it’s very possible that people shouldn’t really trust you. 

If you want to be trusted then don’t say yes when you know your actions are going to show you meant no. Don’t commit to doing something today when you know darn well it’s unlikely you’re going to be able to do it today. 

Trust isn’t built on what we say, it’s built on what we do. There’s no need to read a bunch of articles on how to be trusted. All you need to do is be trustworthy. 

One other thing, if you’re wondering how you can tell if someone else can be trusted there is only one sure way to know. Trust them, they will quickly show you if your trust is deserved or not. 

On a another subject…I’m trying something new over on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than regular Twitter followers. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can perhaps help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may just be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help. 

When Trust is Gone

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Of all the things a person needs to be an Authentic Leader none is more important than the trust of the people they lead. They actually cannot lead anyone who doesn’t have a high level of trust in them. 

That’s because a sign that someone is an Authentic Follower is a commitment to the leader. Human beings don’t have the emotional ability to commit to someone they do not trust. 

People follow a leader for what the leader does for them and the organization. When they see a leader who makes decisions solely, or even mostly, for their own benefit then the trust erodes quickly. What many people in leadership positions fail to understand is that they are under a microscope and it’s the people they are trying to lead who are looking at them through that microscope. They need to know if they can trust their leader. 

They listen to what the leader says and look even closer at what they do. When the words and actions don’t align the perceived integrity of the leader takes a dive and trust goes with it. 

Authentic Leaders intentionally work to earn the trust of their people. They also demonstrate that they trust their people. 

What many people in leadership positions forget is that trust is a two-way street. While they want and often even expect their people to trust them they are less than willing to return that trust to their people. 

Most of the time people won’t explicitly tell someone they are trusted. So people generally go with their feelings. We can “just kinda tell” whether someone trusts us or not. We look for “signs” that indicate we are trusted. Things like being allowed to make decisions, call an audible on a decision that had already been made, or perhaps even work from home on occasion. 

When people are not allowed to make the most basic decision without running it past their manager (notice I didn’t say leader because leaders don’t operate this way) they feel as if they are not trusted. People who are micro-managed don’t feel trusted. People who must document every minute of their day don’t feel trusted. 

When people feel as if their manager or leader does not trust them then they will not trust their leader. It’s almost impossible to trust someone who doesn’t trust you. Absent that trust there can be no commitment. Absent that commitment there can be no Authentic Followership. Absent that followership there is no Authentic Leadership. 

You may call yourself a leader, you may hold a leadership position, you may have a big important title but if no one is following then you aren’t leading. 

If you cannot trust your people then you should have no expectation that they will trust you. If you cannot trust your people then maybe you’ve hired the wrong people. It‘s also possible that you’ve not yet earned the right to lead. 

Either way, when trust is gone so is the basic element required for a committed relationship between a leader and their people. Building trust requires effort. It requires time. It requires consistently doing what you say you will when you say you will do it. 

If you’re not willing to put in the time and make the effort then you will always struggle as a leader and your people will always struggle to follow you. 

Promises and Commitments

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Is there a difference between a promise and a commitment? The short answer to that question is YES!

I’m reminded of the story of the guy who sat down to a breakfast of bacon and eggs. There were two animals involved in the production of that breakfast. The first one was a chicken who made the promise of a great tasting breakfast. The second was a pig. The pig made an absolute commitment to a fantastic breakfast. 

I am surprised, disappointed really, at how some people make promises with no real intention of keeping them. Even though they are in the minority too many people make promises and then quickly forget about them. 

That’s why Authentic Leaders don’t make promises. They make commitments. Commitments seem to carry a great deal more emotional “weight” than a mere promise. I might be naive but I think most people have the best of intentions when they make a promise. When they make a commitment however it goes beyond good intentions. Often way beyond.

I try to never ask anyone for a promise. I try to never put someone in a position where they feel the need to offer one either. But I will ask team members, colleagues and anyone I’m mentoring for a commitment. I don’t do that for my benefit, I do it for theirs.

More people honor commitments than honor promises. Especially to themselves. If you want to lose weight then stop promising yourself that you’re going to start tomorrow. Make a commitment to begin today. A sign that you’ve made a commitment rather than a mere promise is that you’ve also carved out time in your schedule to honor it. 

While a promise can quickly slip into the “afterthought” area of your brain commitments tend to remain top of mind much longer. They kind of peck away at your consciousness until they are honored. 

I feel bad when I break a promise but I, like most people, get over it rather quickly. The very few times I have failed to honor a commitment I feel terrible, for a very long time. 

If you think the difference between a promise and a commitment is semantics then stop making promises and start making commitments. Especially to yourself. You WILL see and feel a difference and you’ll accomplish more than you knew you could. 

You’ll gain greater respect from your peers, your friends and most importantly, your family. 

Promises are nice but they are as easy to break as they are to make. Commitments mean more and are more likely to happen as a result. 

Whether or not you enjoyed your breakfast doesn’t matter to the chicken. They are going to lay another egg tomorrow either way. The pig however gave (well maybe not gave) their life in pursuit of a perfect piece of bacon for you. If that’s not commitment I don’t know what it could be.

People with good intentions make promises. People of good character make commitments. Which person are you?