Tag Trust

How to Rebuild Trust

Steve Keating Leave a comment

If you’re human and you’re reading this (if you’re not human and you’re reading this, please by any means possible let me know) then sooner or later you will do something that will cause someone to lose trust in you.

As has been said many times, trust takes a long time to build and only seconds to destroy.

But the destruction does not have to be permanent. If you’re willing to make the effort then over time you can rebuild the trust you once had. It’s not easy and it will take time but it can be done. Do not expect the other person, the one who’s trust you lost, to rebuild it. If you’re the trust breaker then you’re 100% responsible for rebuilding it too.

Rebuilding trust is a process. Here are some steps you can take to begin that process today.

Acknowledge the breach. Recognize and take responsibility for the actions or behaviors that led to the loss of trust. This demonstrates honesty and accountability. There can be no “but” in your acknowledgment. No “sorry but.” No, sorry if you’re offended “but” I didn’t mean it. By the way, if you really said something you didn’t mean that’s actually an indication that you’re so careless with your words or actions that you probably shouldn’t have been trusted in the first place. Think about that little tidbit a while.

Apologize sincerely. Offer a genuine apology, expressing remorse for any hurt or harm caused. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for and show empathy towards the other person’s feelings. And this should go without saying, but in case it needs to be said… if it’s not a sincere apology then don’t bother in the first place.

Communicate openly. Encourage open dialogue about the situation. Listen attentively to the other person’s concerns and feelings without becoming defensive. Be transparent about your intentions and actions moving forward. This is another step where there can be no “buts.” You offended someone, you may have even hurt them. When they tell you why they feel the way they feel don’t you dare respond with a “yes but.” That is a clear indication that you likely do not value their feelings.

Set boundaries. Establish clear boundaries and expectations to prevent similar issues from arising in the future. This could include agreeing on specific behaviors or actions that are off-limits. Once the boundaries are set do not cross them… no matter what.

Demonstrate consistency. Consistently follow through on your commitments and promises. Your actions should align with your words to build credibility and reliability. Rebuilding trust is not a part time process. You must honor 100% of your commitments, 100% of the time. Whether you feel like it or not.

Be patient. Rebuilding trust takes time, so be patient and understanding. Allow the other person space to process their feelings and gradually rebuild their trust in you. Remember, it’s wrecking trust that happens fast, rebuilding it will take longer than it took to build it in the first place.

Seek feedback. Regularly check in with the other person to see how they’re feeling about the progress of rebuilding trust. Be open to feedback and willing to make adjustments as needed. You may need to ask a few times to get an answer but the mere asking of the question can help rebuild trust.

Show genuine remorse. Continuously express genuine remorse for the hurt caused and demonstrate your commitment to making amends. Actions often speak louder than words, so be consistent in your efforts to rebuild trust.

Obviously it’s way better not to do or say things that cause someone to lose trust in you to begin with. But we’re human and sometimes we do things we wish we hadn’t. But whether you’re able to rebuild trust with someone or not, simply going through the process will make it less likely that you’ll make the same mistake again.

That’s called improvement and I call that a very good thing.

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How to Lead Your Leader

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Even good leaders needs a little help once in a while. Great leaders will accept that help from anyone, even the people who are more often following them. When you step up to “Lead Your Leader” you’re demonstrating not just your own leadership skills but also your willingness to do more than what’s required of you. You’ll be “leading up” in your organization.

Leading up can be dicey, especially if your leader isn’t exactly asking for help. Sometimes they may even resist your help. But your ability to navigate through those challenges will help prepare you for the next level of leadership in your organization. It’ll also help you stand out to the people in the organization above your leader. That will help you earn more, and better opportunities within your organization.

But understand this absolute fact… I am not suggesting you betray the trust of your leader. I’m not encouraging you to “go over their head” and I’m certainly not recommending that you do anything that would make them look bad or hinder their leadership in any way.

Leading up will at times require providing help that makes a positive difference without being noticed or receiving “credit” for it. It can’t always involve getting noticed or rewarded. Sometimes you’ll need to lead up for the simple reason that it’s the right thing to do.

Since few leaders ever reach the very top of their organization you will likely, sooner or later, find yourself in a position where the ability to lead up will be very valuable. To lead up in your organization requires that you understand the goals of your leader, their communication style, strengths, and weaknesses, and then using that knowledge to support and guide them effectively. Here are some steps to successfully lead your leader.

• Understand Their Vision. Take the time to understand your leader’s vision and goals. What are they trying to achieve, and why? Align yourself with their vision to better support them. If they don’t openly communicate their vision and goals then ask. In some cases merely asking the can help your leader crystalize their thinking and better communicate their expectations for the team.

• Build Trust. Establish trust with your leader by being reliable, transparent, and accountable. Show that you are committed to their success and the success of the team or organization.

• Communication. Communicate openly and effectively with your leader. Keep them informed about important developments, challenges, and successes. Understand their preferred communication style and adapt accordingly.

• Provide Feedback. Offer constructive feedback to your leader when necessary. This can include suggestions for improvement or highlighting areas where they excel. Be respectful and tactful in how you deliver feedback. This is where leading up can become dicey. This is why building trust with your leader is so important. When they know you have their best interests, and the best interests of the organization in mind, they are likely to be much more open to your feedback.

• Support Their Weaknesses. Identify areas where your leader may have weaknesses and offer support where needed. This could involve taking on additional responsibilities, providing training or resources, or offering assistance in specific areas of expertise. Offer support to your leader, don’t gossip about their weaknesses behind their back. Because if you do, you can forget about that trust you’ve been trying to build.

• Play to Their Strengths. Recognize and leverage your leader’s strengths. Encourage them to utilize their talents and skills to achieve their goals and the goals of the team.

• Be Proactive. Anticipate your leader’s needs and take initiative to address them. This could involve problem-solving, streamlining processes, or identifying opportunities for improvement. Do more than is required and do more than is expected of you. Don’t wait to be asked, offer to help instead.

• Lead by Example. Demonstrate leadership qualities in your own actions and behavior. Show initiative, integrity, and a strong work ethic, which can inspire your leader and others to do the same. This involves leading yourself exceptionally well. Remember, if you can’t lead yourself then you can’t lead anyone.

• Seek Collaboration. Foster a collaborative relationship with your leader, where ideas are shared openly, and decisions are made collectively. Encourage teamwork and cooperation among colleagues to achieve common objectives.

• Stay Flexible. Be adaptable and flexible in your approach to leading your leader. Recognize that leadership styles and priorities may evolve over time, and be willing to adjust your approach accordingly.

Leading people is very rewarding, that’s especially true when leading your leader. By taking these steps, you can effectively lead up. You can contribute to the overall success of your team or organization and you can develop your own leadership skills for the future.

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Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
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How To Know if Someone Trusts You

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Have you ever had the feeling that someone didn’t trust you? Since you’ve never done anything to cause them not to trust you it can be baffling as to why they wouldn’t. But many people don’t trust automatically. They wait to see if someone is trustworthy.

So instead of asking yourself what you might have done to lose a person’s trust a better question might be, what have you done to earn it. What actions have you specifically, intentionally taken to prove your trustworthiness to the people around you? That’s an important question in business but even more important in life.

Determining if someone trusts you can be a nuanced process, as trust is a complex and subjective aspect of human relationships. It’s important to remember that trust is not always explicitly expressed. It may manifest differently in different individuals and contexts. However, there are several common indicators that can help you gauge if someone trusts you.

  • Trust is often built on open, honest, and transparent communication. If someone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you,  without fear of judgment, it’s a positive sign that they trust you.
  • When someone trusts you, they believe you will follow through on your commitments and promises. If they consistently rely on you for support, assistance, or collaboration, it suggests a level of trust in your abilities and character.
  • Trust often involves a degree of emotional vulnerability. If someone is willing to be vulnerable around you, share their insecurities, and show their true selves, it’s a strong indicator of trust.
  • Trust is also built on consistency. If your actions and behavior are consistent over time, people are more likely to trust you. Inconsistencies or unpredictability can erode trust.
  • If someone shares sensitive information with you and you respect their confidentiality by not disclosing it to others, they are more likely to trust you with future confidences.
  • When people trust your judgment, they may seek your advice or opinion on important matters. They value your input and believe that you have their best interests at heart.
  • Trust often involves emotional support. If someone turns to you for support during difficult times and you offer empathy, it indicates they trust you to provide comfort and help.
  • Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as body language and tone of voice. Someone who trusts you is likely to exhibit relaxed and open body language. They maintain eye contact, and have a warm and friendly tone when communicating.
  • When trust is present, both parties can provide constructive feedback without fearing a negative reaction. If someone is comfortable giving you feedback or is receptive to your feedback, it suggests a level of trust in the relationship.
  • Engaging in shared experiences, both positive and challenging, can deepen trust. These experiences create bonds and demonstrate that you can navigate difficult situations together.

It’s important to note that trust is not always binary; it can exist on a spectrum. Additionally, trust can be fragile and may take time to develop but can be easily damaged or lost. Building and maintaining trust in relationships require ongoing effort, consistency, and respect for each other. 

If you’re unsure about someone’s level of trust in you don’t sit and wonder. Consider having an open and honest conversation to clarify and strengthen the relationship. That demonstrates an even greater level of trust.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success.

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

How to Work for a Micromanager

Steve Keating 6 Comments

I don’t know of anyone who would say they actually enjoy working for a micromanager. But not all micromanagers are created equal. Some people micromanage out of a pure love and passion for their organization. Their enthusiasm overtakes them and they want to be involved in all aspects of their organizations. 

Those micromanagers don’t understand how they may be limiting the growth of their people. They also don’t understand that limiting the growth of their people is a sure way to limit the growth of their organization. I can’t help but cut this type of micromanager some slack. 


The other type of micromanager not so much. The other type of micromanager is a control freak. They believe they can control everything from their people’s thoughts to every action they take. Many of these micromanagers do not trust their people. I’ve got no research to support this but it’s my personal opinion that they don’t trust themselves either. 


Think about that. They hire someone they believe to be qualified and then refuse to let them do their job. It’s easy for me to believe that they didn’t trust their hiring decision. They also tend to think that no one can do anything as good as they can. They often have oversized egos. 


Working for for that type of micromanager can be especially challenging. It can make you feel frustrated, restricted, and hinder your productivity. However, it’s important to find ways to navigate the situation and maintain a positive working relationship. If you develop an adversarial relationship with your boss you almost always lose. That’s why making an effort to keep your relationship positive and professional is always worth it. 


Here are some strategies to help you work effectively with a micromanager.

  • Try to understand why your boss is a micromanager. They may have experienced past failures, have a strong attention to detail, or lack trust in their team. Recognizing their motivations can help you empathize and adapt your approach accordingly.
  • Establish clear and open lines of communication with your boss. Regularly update them on your progress, share your plans and ideas, and ask for feedback. Proactively keeping them informed can help alleviate their need to constantly check up on you.
  • Seek clarity regarding your boss’s expectations for your work. Understand their preferred level of involvement and the specific details they want to be informed about. By aligning your work with their expectations, you can reduce the need for constant supervision.
  • One effective way to gain your boss’s trust and potentially reduce micromanagement is by consistently delivering high-quality work. When they see that you’re reliable and capable of producing excellent results, they may feel more comfortable giving you greater autonomy.
  • Try to anticipate your boss’s preferences and requirements in advance. By taking the initiative to meet their expectations without being told, you can demonstrate your ability to work independently and lessen their need for constant oversight.
  • Establishing trust is crucial in any professional relationship. Be reliable, meet deadlines, and follow through on your commitments. Proactively communicate any challenges or roadblocks you encounter, along with your proposed solutions. Over time, your boss may develop more confidence in your abilities, allowing for greater autonomy.
  • Seek feedback from your boss to understand their perspective and expectations better. By showing a willingness to learn and improve, you can demonstrate that you value their input and potentially lessen their inclination to micromanage.
  • If you’ve developed a good rapport with your boss, you might consider proposing a trial period where you have more autonomy to work independently. Discuss the potential benefits of this approach, such as increased productivity and improved trust, and assure your boss that you will keep them updated on your progress.
  • When faced with challenges or obstacles, try to present potential solutions to your boss instead of only highlighting the problems. This shows that you’re proactive and capable of handling difficulties independently, which can help alleviate their need to micromanage.
  • Despite the challenges of working with a micromanager, try to maintain a positive attitude. Avoid complaining or badmouthing your boss to colleagues, as it can create a negative work environment. Instead, focus on your own growth, seek support from coworkers, and engage in activities outside of work to reduce stress.

Remember, working with a micromanager requires patience and adaptability. By implementing these strategies, you can improve your working relationship, gradually earn your boss’s trust, and potentially reduce their micromanagement tendencies.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 
If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 
Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

Building Trust in Leadership 

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Integrity is the single most important ingredient for Authentic Leadership. From integrity springs trust and absent trust there can be no actual followership. For a leader to truly lead they need the commitment of the people they lead. 

People cannot commit to someone they do not trust. It is emotionally impossible. When people trust their leaders, they are more likely to be engaged, productive, and willing to go the extra mile. 

There are many things that leaders can do to build trust, here are a few of them.

  • Be honest and transparent. Leaders should always be honest with their people, even when it is difficult. They should also be transparent about their decision-making process and why they are making the decisions they are making.
  • Be consistent. Leaders should always follow through on their promises and commitments. If they say they are going to do something, they should do it.
  • Be fair and just. Leaders should treat all of their people fairly and justly, regardless of their personal feelings or opinions. Whether you like them or not has nothing to do with leading them.
  • Be open to feedback. Leaders should be willing to listen to feedback from their people, even if it is negative. They should also be willing to make changes based on feedback.
  • Be supportive. Leaders should be supportive of their people, both professionally and personally. They should be there to help them succeed and to provide them with the resources they need to do their jobs.
  • Be humble. Leaders should be humble and recognize that they do not have all the answers. They should be willing to learn from anyone and to admit when they are wrong.

Building trust takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When people trust their leaders, they commit to them. It’s a fool’s errand to try and get people to commit to a company or brand. People can only truly commit to other people. Absent trust, there simply can be no commitment. 

So here are some additional tips for building trust as a leader.

  • Get to know your people. Invest the time to get to know them on a personal level. This will help you build relationships with them and to understand their needs and concerns.
  • Delegate tasks and responsibilities. When you delegate tasks and responsibilities to your team, you are showing them that you trust them. This will help build their confidence and make them feel valued.
  • Recognize and reward good work. When your people do a good job, be sure to recognize and reward them. This will show them that you appreciate their hard work and that you are committed to their success.
  • Be a role model. As a leader you’re leading by example whether you know it or not. Whether you intend to or not. Leaders should set a good example for their people. This means being honest, ethical, and responsible. ALL THE TIME. It also means being someone that your people can look up to and respect.

Building trust is critical if you hope to be a successful leader. By following these suggestions, you can build trust with your people and create a culture of caring honesty and growth.

How to Lead and How Not to Lead – another post in that periodic series 

Steve Keating Leave a comment

As usual, let’s talk about the how not to lead first…

Leadership without integrity is an impossibility. So if your goal is to NOT be mistaken for a leader then don’t worry about saying one thing and doing another. Things change. You also have the right to change your mind any time you want to. For any reason you want to. It’s nobody’s business but your own. 

As someone in a leadership position you owe no one an explanation for saying one thing and doing another. If someone doesn’t like it that’s their problem, not yours. People who you are supposed to be leading should learn your word is worthless. They should just fall in line and go with the flow.  

Everybody knows that sometimes keeping your commitments is impossible and people need to be adaptable. Honoring commitments is so old fashioned that it’s hysterical anyone still expects it. People who expect you to actually lead need to get a clue! 

Trying to explain your decisions or thought process to the people you are supposed to be leading makes you look weak. It makes you look foolish. Worse yet, it makes you look like someone who might care about what your people think of you. 

Never forget, the people you boss around are the “little people” and there is no point in trying to explain your big thoughts to the likes of them. 

Of course, there is also the possibility that you actually DO want to lead. In that case you may want to do things a little differently. 

Things do indeed change and when they do you should be the first one to acknowledge it. You MUST alert people the instant you become aware of the change. Delaying only casts doubt on your credibility. You need to explain why the change is taking place and how it will affect your people. 

If you can’t honor your commitments, you need to apologize. That apology is not a sign of weakness. It is exactly the opposite. It is a sign of strength. It is a sign of your authenticity as a leader. You should also explain why you can’t honor that particular commitment and reaffirm the importance of your overall commitment to the people you lead. 

Failure to do any of that will result in a lack of respect and loyalty. It will also destroy your trust producing credibility. It erases your integrity. 

Authentic Leaders know that absent credibility, trust, and integrity, there can be no true followership. And without followers you are not a leader, no matter what your position and title says. 

On a another note… Everyone can use a “nudge” towards success. I’m trying something new on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than the million or so people who regularly follow me on Twitter. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.

How Trust is Really Built

Steve Keating 1 Comment

I’m not sure why but I’ve seen a ton of blog posts and various articles lately about building trust. Most of them are about particular words you either should or shouldn’t use if you want to build trust. 

Some of them talk about tone of voice or making eye contact when you want someone to know you’re being particularly truthful. I love that word combo “particularly truthful.”

Imagine someone writing about building trust and in the article seeming to indicate that sometimes you’re more truthful than others. When you want to convince someone you can be trusted then you should be “particularly truthful.” They don’t explain what you should be the rest of the time so I’m left to wonder about it. 

What surprises me about every single article and post I’ve read the last few weeks on building trust, and there have been many of them, is that not a single one of them talked about being trustworthy. The talk about using “trustable” words and phrases. A few even talked about behaving in a certain way to convince people you can be trusted. 

But not one said to build trust by actually being trustworthy. 

To me being trustworthy is saying exactly what you mean and doing exactly what you say. All the time. It’s about honoring your commitments, every commitment. All the time. 

When your words match your actions, even if not everyone agrees with them, you will be trusted. 

If you’re forced to use certain words for people to trust you then I’d have to say it’s possible you’re not trustworthy. If you have to behave in any other way than being your normal self then it’s very possible that people shouldn’t really trust you. 

If you want to be trusted then don’t say yes when you know your actions are going to show you meant no. Don’t commit to doing something today when you know darn well it’s unlikely you’re going to be able to do it today. 

Trust isn’t built on what we say, it’s built on what we do. There’s no need to read a bunch of articles on how to be trusted. All you need to do is be trustworthy. 

One other thing, if you’re wondering how you can tell if someone else can be trusted there is only one sure way to know. Trust them, they will quickly show you if your trust is deserved or not. 

On a another subject…I’m trying something new over on Twitter. It’s called “Super Followers.” For $5 a month, that’s 17 cents a day, people can follow a part of my Twitter stream that is for subscribers only. It features short videos of me discussing leadership topics, sales tips and ideas for better overall relationships. I’m assuming there will be far fewer Super Followers than regular Twitter followers. That will give me the opportunity to answer questions more throughly than I can on regular Twitter. Most of the answers will come in the evening cause we all have day jobs, right? Think of it as ”mentoring on demand!”

My goal with SuperFollowers is to build a better connection, one where I can perhaps help more and have a greater impact. I’m hoping it gives me a chance to mentor to a wider audience. It’s still new, we’ll see how it works. It’s a $5 dollar investment that may just be the extra “push” you need to get to where you want to be. I’d be honored to be able to help get you there. 

You can find more information by clicking the Super Follow button on my Twitter profile page IN THE TWITTER APP. http://twitter.com/leadtoday Give it a try if you’re so inclined, and if you are, be sure to let me know how I’m doing and how I can be of even more help.