How Much do you Want It?

It’s surprising how many people are willing to accept something less than they claim to want rather then just doing the work required to get it. 

I often hear people saying “it’s” too hard or “it’s” too much work. Truth be told, I’ve even said it myself too often. The fact of the matter is, if you don’t want something enough to really really work for it then you probably don’t want it enough to have it. 

Most people are born pretty ordinary. There are clearly some who are born truly gifted and to whom “things” seem to come easier. Note the word “seem” there because if you’re not that person you really can’t say what challenges they may have overcome in order to use their “gifts.”

Then there are those people who seem to have extraordinary luck or abilities that the ordinary person just doesn’t have. I’ve envied those types from time to time. 

But then I remember the saying: The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little “extra.”

Once I remember that then I have no need to be envious anymore. I just need to realize that if someone has something I don’t it is because I’ve settled and they haven’t. They were willing to give that little extra and I wasn’t. 

Fortunately for me, there have been many times where I did decide to put forth that little extra to get what I wanted. It may have been extra effort, extra time, or extra sacrifice but it seems like every time I gave extra I received extra in return. 

That doesn’t make me unusual, it makes me incredibly average. Average people get more when they give more. Admittedly giving the little extra doesn’t always result in extraordinary outcomes but without the little extra you have virtually no chance of long-term success. 

Stop telling yourself that you can’t. Stop telling yourself “it’s” too hard. Nothing is too much work if you really really want to do it. All you need is discipline.

Discipline is simply wanting something tomorrow more than wanting the something you can have more easily today. 

So before you sit down in front of that TV ask yourself “do I really want to watch this show now or would I rather do “something” that helps me have a better tomorrow?” Watching the show is easy, that “something” may not be as enjoyable at the moment. 

If you choose to watch TV then know this: you’ve settled. You can no longer say something is “too hard,” you must say it was “too hard” for you. You made the choice.

There is nothing wrong with making choices that result in having less than others have. Just stop saying that you “would give anything” to have more because you’ve made it plainly obvious that in fact you wouldn’t give anything at all. I know that is pretty harsh but that’s reality. 

It’s the reality that all of us seemingly ordinary people need to know. We can be extraordinary, you can be extraordinary, if you decide you want it enough. You absolutely have the ability, the question is do you have the desire. Your future is up to you. You can have whatever you want or you can have what’s easy, it’s almost impossible to have both.

Write this down and live this in 2017: Successful people have developed the habits of doing the things that less successful people simply didn’t want to do.

Will you begin 2017 by developing the habits that will pay dividends for all your tomorrows? Will you give that little extra to achieve extraordinary results?

You will if you want it enough!

Ditch the Resolutions

Want more success in 2017? Then ditch the New Years Resolutions and replace them with a mentor. 

There is so much evidence that New Years Resolutions have no lasting impact that I won’t even bother with explaining why they are almost always a complete waste of time.

There is also ample evidence that having a mentor does have long term impact on the mentees future success. If you truly want greater success in the coming year then your first step is to get yourself a mentor. 

I’ve been blessed throughout my career with mentors who cared as much about me as they cared about their own success. That perhaps is the single greatest attribute a mentor must have, they really need to care about the person they are mentoring.

I get asked on average at least once a week to mentor someone and one of my biggest regrets is that I have to say no. I’m mentoring a few people already and I couldn’t truly be effective mentoring more. Mentoring is serious stuff and requires a serious time commitment on the both of both the mentor and the mentee. 

If you’re serious about having a mentor in 2017 then look for a person who is willing to share their knowledge, skills and expertise. Sadly, too many people in organizations see passing along their knowledge and skills to be a risk to their job security. In fact, nothing is further from the truth. If you have the ability to help others grow then you will always be needed somewhere.

Your mentor needs to be a person who will take a personal interest in you and who desires a personal relationship with you. They must invest themselves in your success. If your mentor frequently needs to cancel or change the time of your meeting then you likely need a different mentor. 

Your mentor needs to be someone who cares enough about you to offer you constructive feedback. They have to have the courage to potentially tell you some things that you may not want to hear. They also need to have the compassion and communication skills to tell you it in such a way as to allow you to hear it, understand it, believe it, and act upon it. 

A good mentor is a person who sets a good example. They regularly achieve their own goals, they are respected by others and they demonstrate successful habits. They “walk their talk” while challenging their mentees to do the same. They never ask someone else to do something that are unwilling to do themselves.

Regardless of your age or level of success you’ll be better off in 2017 if you have a mentor. A real mentor. Formalize a mentoring relationship with someone who can help you grow personally and professionally and see for yourself the difference it will make in your level of success in the New Year!