I have heard it said that patience is a virtue. Many of the world’s greatest thinkers have emphasized the importance of patience. For Aristotle, patience was bitter but the fruit it bore was sweet. Tolstoy said it was one of the two most powerful warriors, with the other one being time. Lao Tzu believed it was one of the three greatest treasures to have along with compassion and simplicity.

Patience is a big deal!

Many of us pride ourselves on being patient with other people. We allow them to learn at their own pace. We cut them “slack” when they make mistakes. We forgive them when they are a little slower to master a skill that we think we would have mastered much sooner. By and large, most people are pretty patient.

Except with one person. That person is most often themselves. This is especially true of highly motivated people who are in a hurry to succeed. I think that’s called “the rat race.” For those of you unfamiliar with the term it comes from experiments in the late 1800’s where two rats are trying to outrun each other to get a piece of cheese. These days it’s an expression describing a way of life in which people compete with each other for power and money.

Some people thrive while running the rat race but most are slowly burning themselves out. So slowly that they don’t often realize it until it’s too late.

The vast majority’s of people living their best lives have learned to be more patient. They cut themselves the same slack they cut other people. They find the balance required to push themselves without burning themselves out.

Finding that balance requires intentionality and focus. You have to work for it. You’ll likely have to make some changes in your life. You’ll possibly have to make some sacrifices too. But you will also discover that granting yourself more patience is one of the kindest things you’ll ever do for yourself.

Being more patient with yourself involves several steps. Some of these are easy, some not so much but all of them will help you live your very best life.

1. Acknowledge Imperfection. Understand that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes or not meet your own expectations all the time.

2. Set Realistic Goals. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This allows you to track progress and celebrate small victories along the way.

3. Practice Self-Compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend who is struggling. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, even if they are small.

4. Pay Attention. Stay present in the moment. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This helps you become more aware of negative self-talk and allows you to respond to yourself with more kindness.

5. Learn from Setbacks. Instead of being hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned, use setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how you can improve in the future.

6. Practice Gratitude. Focus on the things you are grateful for and the progress you have made, no matter how small. This helps shift your perspective from what you lack to what you have accomplished.

7. Seek Support. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who encourage and uplift you during challenging times. And do whatever it takes to separate yourself from negative people who attempt to suck the patience right out of you.

By making these practices part of daily life, you can cultivate greater patience and self-compassion. You’ll find yourself leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. That my friends is worth every bit of the effort it will take achieve, no matter how long it takes you to achieve it.