Tag Self Confidence

Unleash Your Inner Power: Simple Steps to Boost Your Self-Confidence 💪

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Many of the most successful people possess terrific self-confidence. They manage to demonstrate that self-confidence to themselves and others without crossing the line into arrogance.

Their self-confidence isn’t an inherited trait; it’s much like a muscle that they have developed and strengthened over time. If you’re going to strengthen your own self-confidence “muscle,” you’ll need to trust your own judgment, feel worthy, and have the courage to face challenges.

If you’re ready to ditch the self-doubt, here are some practical, actionable steps to start building the strong, steady confidence you deserve.

Know Yourself (and Your Victories) 🏆

The foundation of confidence is self-awareness.

Identify Your Strengths: Less successful people often focus on what they can’t do. The most successful people focus on what they can do. Take five minutes and genuinely list your talents, skills, and positive qualities. Are you a great listener? A problem solver? Creative? A reliable friend? Acknowledge these truths.

Keep a “Win” Journal: Start writing down everything you achieve, no matter how small. Finishing a tough project at work, running an extra mile, successfully cooking a new recipe, or handling a difficult conversation with grace—these are all wins. Reviewing this list is powerful evidence of your competence.

Tame the Inner Critic 🤫

That little voice telling you you’re not good enough is often based on irrational fears, not facts.

Challenge Negative Thoughts: When a negative thought pops up (“I’m going to fail”), don’t accept it. Ask yourself: “Is this 100% true? What is the evidence for and against this thought?” Usually, the evidence against it is overwhelming.

Reframe Your Language: Switch from defeatist talk to encouraging self-talk. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “This is challenging, but I can definitely learn how to do it.”

Practice Small Acts of Bravery 👣

Confidence grows not from wishing, but from doing.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: Don’t wait until you feel confident to act; act to create confidence. Start small. Speak up in a meeting, introduce yourself to a new person, or take on a task you’ve been avoiding. Each successful attempt widens your comfort zone.

Embrace Imperfection: Fear of failure paralyzes confidence. Understand that failure is just feedback—a critical part of learning and growth. Highly confident people don’t avoid mistakes; they learn from them and move on quickly.

Upgrade Your Appearance and Body Language 🧍

How you carry yourself deeply affects how you feel and how others perceive you.

Dress the Part: You don’t need a new wardrobe, but choose clothes that fit well and make you feel capable and prepared for the day. Feeling good about your appearance is an easy, immediate confidence boost.

Adopt Power Poses: Research shows that standing or sitting in an open, expansive posture (shoulders back, head up, taking up space) for just a couple of minutes can reduce stress and increase feelings of power. Stop slouching!

Make Eye Contact: This simple non-verbal cue communicates engagement, sincerity, and self-assurance.

Prioritize Self-Care and Health 🍎

Your physical and mental well-being are inextricably linked to your confidence.

Move Your Body: Regular exercise improves your mood and energy. Feeling physically strong translates directly into feeling mentally strong.

Sleep Well: Chronic tiredness erodes focus and resilience, making you more vulnerable to self-doubt. Prioritize getting enough restful sleep.

Learn a New Skill: Competence breeds confidence. Taking a course, learning a new language, or mastering a kitchen skill gives you tangible proof that you can learn and achieve.

Developing rock-solid self-confidence isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a continuous journey of self-improvement and self-acceptance. Start with one of these steps today, be patient with yourself, and soon you will feel your self-confidence begin to grow. You’ve got this! ✨

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Embracing You—A Guide to Self-Acceptance

Steve Keating 2 Comments

Life’s a rollercoaster, and we’re constantly being pushed to be better, do better, and achieve more. But let’s be real, accepting yourself as you are feels like a radical act. Just to be clear, self-acceptance isn’t about settling or giving up on growth—it’s about embracing your true self, flaws and all, and being just fine with who you are right now.

But that’s easier said than done, right? So, here’s a practical guide to helping you develop self-acceptance and live more fully as you.

1. Understand What Self-Acceptance Really Means

Self-acceptance is all about recognizing and embracing all parts of yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and imperfections—without judgment. It’s not about ignoring areas for improvement or pretending you’re perfect. Instead, it’s about saying, “This is who I am today, and that’s enough for now anyway.”

Try this: Write down what self-acceptance means to you. Is it forgiving past mistakes? Embracing your body? Accepting your unique personality? Defining it helps you to focus.

2. Silence Your Negative Self-Talk

We all have that voice in our heads that points out every flaw or misstep. To accept yourself, you need to challenge this inner critic and replace its harsh words with softer ones.

• Notice the voice: When negative self-talk creeps in (e.g., “I’m not good enough”), pause and acknowledge it without letting it take over.

• Reframe the narrative: Instead of “I failed,” try “I tried, and I learned.” Reframing shifts your perspective from judgment to growth.

• Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself as you would a good friend. If your friend made a mistake, would you berate them or offer support? Extend that kindness to yourself.

Try this: For one week, keep a journal of your inner critic’s comments. Next to each, write a compassionate counter-statement. Over time, this rewires your self-talk.

3. Immediately Stop the Comparison Crap

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough because of what others are doing? Social media, society, and even your friends can make you feel like you’re falling behind. But guess what? Everyone’s journey is different, and someone else’s highlight reel doesn’t make you less worthy.

Here are some tips to help you feel better about yourself:

* Control what you allow in your head: If certain social media accounts or content make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them or limit how much you see of them. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.

* Focus on your path: Celebrate your own achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Your progress is your own journey, and it’s all about you.

Here’s a fun trick to try: When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, try to focus on one thing you’re proud of about yourself. It could be something you accomplished recently or just how strong you are.

Now, let’s talk about embracing your imperfections. Perfection is an illusion, and chasing it can keep you from appreciating who you truly are. Your imperfections make you human, relatable, and unique.

Here are some ways to embrace your imperfections:

* Reframe flaws as strengths: Maybe your stubbornness is also determination. Your sensitivity might be a gift of empathy.

* Laugh at your quirks: Humor can help you feel less self-conscious. Love the way you snort when you laugh or how you always misplace your keys—it’s all part of what makes you who you are.

Here’s a fun exercise to try: Write a letter to one of your perceived “flaws.” Thank it for what it has taught you or how it has shaped you. This exercise can help you feel more grateful for your whole self. As weird as this sounds, it’s actually a pretty cool thing to do. Have some fun with it; you will likely be surprised by the outcome.

Lastly, let’s look at a few quick tips that you can use whenever you’re not exactly loving who you are. But know that these are not about changing who you are; these are about knowing what you need to do in order to thrive.

1. Let Go of the Past: Holding onto past mistakes or regrets can weigh you down and make self-acceptance feel tough. We know forgiving others is important for our mental health. But guess what? Forgiving yourself is a superpower that can help you move forward and feel more confident.

2. Surround Yourself with Supportive People: The people you spend time with can have a big impact on how you see yourself. Seek out relationships that uplift and validate you, and distance yourself from those who criticize or make you feel bad about yourself.

3. Celebrate Your Growth: Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you stop growing—it means you appreciate where you are and stay open to where you’re going. Reflect on how far you’ve come, and give yourself credit for all the hard work and effort you’ve put in.

Final Thoughts: YOU ARE ENOUGH

Self-acceptance is a journey, not a destination. You’ll have days when you feel totally at peace with yourself and others, but then doubt will creep in. That’s totally okay! Every step you take towards embracing who you are builds a solid foundation of confidence.

Start small, be patient, and remember: you don’t need to be anyone else to be worthy of love, respect, and happiness. You are enough; you are more than enough, way more than enough, just as you are.

So, what’s one way you’ll practice self-acceptance today? Share it in the comments below.

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How to Be Productively Confident

Steve Keating Leave a comment

When playing golf, I have all kinds of confidence when my ball lands in a sand trap. First off, I’m confident that I’m basically screwed. I’m also confident that I’m in immediate danger of blowing up the hole and thus my entire round of golf.

None of that is what I would call “productive confidence.” It is absolutely “negative confidence,” and I can assure you the results of “negative confidence” are not what you’re hoping for.

The good news is that through a gradual process that involves changing your mindset, behaviors, and habits, you can turn that negative confidence into very productive confidence. Here are some practical steps to help you begin that gradual process today.

1. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

• Identify negative thoughts: Pay attention to the negative beliefs you have about yourself, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I always fail.”

• Replace them with positive affirmations: Instead of saying “I can’t,” say “I will.” Practice self-encouragement, and remind yourself of your accomplishments. For example, I have on occasion escaped the sand on my first attempt, even landing the ball approximately, kinda, sorta, where I intended to.

2. Take Action

• Step out of your comfort zone: Confidence comes from doing. Push yourself to try new things, even if they make you feel uneasy at first. Each step forward builds productive confidence.

• Start with small risks: Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting or trying a new skill, taking small risks will help you gradually become more comfortable with bigger challenges.

3. Improve Body Language

• Stand tall and make eye contact: Your posture sends messages to yourself and others. Standing straight and making eye contact give the impression of confidence, and this feeling often follows your actions.

• Smile and be approachable: These simple acts can make you feel more positive and open.

4. Build Competence

• Master your skills: Whether it’s in your job, hobbies, or personal projects, building competence in an area will naturally boost your confidence. I am spending lots of time in bunkers these days practicing. I’m not using a golf ball yet; my focus is entirely on hitting grains of sand to exact spots on the green. I am productively confident that once I do use a ball, it will land exactly where I want it to as well.

• Seek feedback: Constructive feedback helps you improve. Accept it gracefully and use it to grow.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity

• Associate with supportive people: Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you. Their positive influence can enhance your self-belief.

• Limit exposure to negativity: Minimize contact with people who constantly criticize or bring you down.

6. Practice Self-Care

• Exercise and stay healthy: Physical activity releases endorphins, improving your mood and reducing anxiety. Feeling good about your body and health often correlates with feeling confident.

• Prioritize mental well-being: Get enough sleep and give yourself time to relax and recharge.

7. Learn from Failure

• Accept setbacks as part of growth: Everyone experiences failure. Instead of seeing it as a sign of defeat, treat it as an opportunity to learn and improve.

• Celebrate progress: Acknowledge and celebrate even small victories. Reflecting on how far you’ve come boosts confidence for future challenges.

8. Visualize Success

• Imagine yourself succeeding: Visualization is a powerful technique. Picture yourself achieving your goals or performing well in a situation. This mental practice can build confidence before you even take action.

9. Be Kind to Yourself

• Practice self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself when things don’t go perfectly. Everyone makes mistakes; what matters is how you handle them. Negative self-talk is even worse than having other people criticize you. You believe what you tell yourself about yourself, so keep it positive.

• Reward your efforts: Celebrate your hard work and persistence, not just the end results.

Building productive confidence is an ongoing journey, and progress takes time. Being patient with yourself as you grow will make the process more rewarding. Expecting too much too soon actually works against you and slows you down.

It’s indeed good to push yourself, but not all day, every day. Allow yourself some wriggle room, and the productive confidence you build will remain productive for a long, long time.

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How to Maintain Your Self Esteem

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the greatest First Ladies the United States has ever had, Eleanor Roosevelt, said that “no one can make us feel inferior without our consent.” Sadly, at one time or another it seems we’ve all given our consent.

But the most successful people don’t give it for long. They pick themselves up, look in the mirror and see someone (themselves) with the potential to accomplish anything they want. They believe in themselves, even if no one else does. Especially when no one else does.

Odds are that many of you would tell me that believing in yourself is easier said than done. I’d respond by reminding you that almost everything worth doing is easier said than done and yet, successful people do it anyway.

Maintaining self-esteem is crucial for overall well-being and a positive mindset. It is also vital for your success. If you find yourself sometimes fighting the battle of low self-esteem here are some strategies you might find useful for winning the war.

Practice Self-Compassion:

• Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in difficult times.

• Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s a part of being human.

Positive Self-Talk:

• Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.

• Focus on your strengths and achievements rather than dwelling on perceived failures.

Set Realistic Goals:

• Break larger goals into smaller, achievable tasks.

• Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small, to build a sense of achievement.

Learn from Setbacks:

• View mistakes and failures as opportunities to learn and grow.

• Analyze the situation objectively and identify what you can do differently in the future.

Surround Yourself with Positivity:

• Build a supportive network of friends and family who uplift and encourage you.

• Limit exposure to negative influences and environments.

Take Care of Yourself Physically:

• Exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and maintain a balanced diet.

• Physical well-being can positively impact your mental and emotional state.

Develop and Maintain Boundaries:

• Learn to say no when necessary to avoid overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed.

• Establish and communicate your personal boundaries with others.

Focus on Personal Values:

• Identify and prioritize your core values.

• Align your actions and decisions with these values to foster a sense of authenticity and self-worth.

Learn and Grow:

• Embrace opportunities for personal and professional development.

• Continuous learning and improvement can boost confidence and self-esteem.

Practice Gratitude:

• Regularly reflect on and appreciate the positive aspects of your life.

• Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus toward the good things.

Engage in Activities You Enjoy:

• Pursue hobbies and activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment.

• Doing things you love can enhance your overall sense of well-being.

Remember that building and maintaining self-esteem is an ongoing process. It requires consistent effort and self-reflection. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress you make along the way. Above all, when you begin to doubt your ability remember just how incredible you actually are. Remember all you’ve already accomplished. Remember you’re loved. Remember you’re special. Remember that you matter and remember you make a difference in the lives of those around. Never doubt a single one of those absolute facts!

Better Voices

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Most people won’t actually admit to hearing voices in their head. They think if people find out they will be sent immediately to see a psychiatrist…or worse. People think that way because one of the voices in their head tells them to think that way.

Everybody hears voices in their head. Sometimes it’s the voice of fear. Sometimes it’s the voice of reason. Sometimes it’s the voice of self-doubt. Sometimes it’s the voice of belief and confidence.

Some of the voices are stronger than others. For too many people the voices they hear most often are the voices of fear and self-doubt. For successful people the voices they hear most often are the voices of self-belief and confidence.

What someone hears in their head will determine their level of success. Do you allow the loudmouthed fear to overrule your voice of reason? Do you allow the voice of self-doubt to out shout your voice of confidence.

There are people in your life that you know better than to pay attention to. There are people in your life who you trust and listen to. You seek out their advice while ignoring the nattering naysayers of negativity.

Those voices of fear and self-doubt are nothing more than nattering naysayers of negativity. They are to be ignored just like the people you know better than to allow into your life.

Successful people have the voices of fear and self-doubt in their heads like everyone else. But they drown them out with their “better voices” of confidence, self-belief, and reason. When fear and doubt start their yapping successful people cut them off immediately with self-affirmation and confidence.

I think the key is paying attention to that voice in your head. It’s always there and if you aren’t careful it can influence your actions whether you realize it or not. So pay attention to those voices, when you realize it’s an unhealthy voice then either out shout it or overpower it with something better.

You have to admit to the voices before you can take control over them….but maybe you don’t have to admit them to other people. 🙂

Second Thoughts

Steve Keating 1 Comment

It is okay to doubt yourself for a moment. The only people who don’t have second thoughts are the ones who have few thoughts in the first place. 

 

Having a doubt in your mind doesn’t mean you’re a doubter. It means you have the mental capacity to re-think something. Many times a second thought will sharpen your decision, not change it. 

 

Second thoughts cause you to ask yourself questions, find alternatives and take the appropriate action. Second thoughts slow us down and give us time to reflect on the decision we just made. Second thoughts can serve a valuable purpose. 

 

But…

 

Second thoughts can also come straight out of fear. Fear of failure, fear of being wrong, fear of upsetting or disappointing someone. Second thoughts born out of fear are almost always a very stressful experience. 

 

Second thoughts sometimes stem from a lack of self-confidence. Those second thoughts are demotivating and cause you to doubt not just your decisions but your abilities, values, and even your relationships with others. Second thoughts based on a lack of confidence in yourself actually feed on themselves and grow every time you experience doubt. 

 

Second thoughts from fear or a confidence issue serve no useful purpose because they cause you to ask the wrong questions. They cause you to question yourself more than the decision you made. These kinds of second thoughts don’t sharpen a decision or even change a decision, they simply delay it or eliminate the decision completely. 

 

So when you’re having second thoughts you need to determine the source of that doubt. If it’s coming from fear then remember that the only place that fear exists is in our minds. Fear can not make a home in your head unless you allow it. The fastest and most effective way to deal with fear is to take action. Do the thing you fear the most and fear will no longer have control over you. 

 

If your second thoughts are coming from a lack of self-confidence then you need to remind yourself of all your past successes. If you’ve succeeded before then you can absolutely do it again. You need to ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen if you move forward with your decision. Realize that in most cases you are perfectly capable of dealing with that “worst.” Rethink your decision to determine how you can minimize that “worst case” and then move forward. 

 

Not making a decision due to second thoughts IS a decision. It’s a decision to do nothing and doing nothing is almost always wrong. 


People who never have second thoughts are know it alls who most often know nothing at all. You actually want to have second thoughts. Use them to make better, more confident decisions. There is no doubt, no doubt at all, that it will lead you to a better life!

Are You Talking to Yourself?

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Even if you don’t realize it you’re likely talking to yourself, all the time. The experts call that self-talk. Self-talk is your inner voice, the one in your head that says stuff you wouldn’t necessarily say out loud. 

 

Most people don’t even realize this running conversation with themselves is happening all day long. But it is a powerful conversation. It can shape your day and even your life. It has as much impact on how you feel about yourself as anything someone else says about you. 

 

The challenge is that there are two kinds of self-talk. Positive self-talk and negative self-talk. Positive self-talk is saying stuff like “I can do this.” “I am prepared to succeed.” “I can make the best of any situation I find myself in.” 

 

Negative self-talk talk is saying things like, “I’ll never be able to do this.” “I am an idiot.” “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” 

 

You get the idea. 

 

Here’s the thing, and this is big… negative self-talk just happens. For most people the cause of negative self-talk is self-doubt. Everyone has self-doubt but if you’re not consciously aware of it the result is negative self-talk. 

 

Positive self-talk only happens as a result of conscious effort. While negative self-talk can pop into your head with no prompting you must intentionally choose positive self-talk. And that’s not easy.

 

To consistently talk to yourself in a positive way you will need to be aware that you’re always having a conversation with yourself. You must also practice to be good at positive self-talk. Stopping a couple of times a day to reflect on what you’ve been saying to yourself is a good start. 

 

If it is not something that is making you feel better about yourself or your situation then look for evidence to determine if it’s true. If you find no proof then it’s likely self-doubt creeping into that conversation in your head. 

 

Shut that negative self-talk down. There is nothing good about it. It doesn’t help in any way. 

 

You may not be able to simply self-talk your way into success but lots of people have self-talked their way to failure. Don’t be one of those!