Tag Praising People

Praise and Criticism

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Truth be told I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t prefer to be praised rather than criticized. Receiving praise and recognition from anyone always makes us feel better. Even when we’re almost certain the person giving the praise is blowing smoke up our you know what, that fake praise still feels better than well needed criticism. 

Praise and recognition can be very useful for building our self-confidence and self-esteem. It reaffirms that we are on the right track and we should do more of whatever it was we’ve been doing. Plus, it just downright feels good. 

Some criticism is the so called “constructive” kind. Other criticism is meant to hurt and demean people. We can’t control the intent of other people’s criticism towards us but we have complete control over how we receive it. 

I personally try to accept all criticism as constructive criticism. I’ll listen to it and then think on it for a while. I’ll look at it from different angles, I’ll share it with a mentor to get their take on it. Then I decide what to do with it. I’ll either decide the criticism was indeed intended to harm me in some way and I’ll quickly discard it. Or, I’ll decide that even though it was perhaps intended to demotivate me, there was a kernel of truth in it and I’ll try to take whatever corrective action I can. 

When I determine the criticism was meant to be constructive I’ll thank the person.  I may even ask for their help in improving in whatever area they saw a weakness.

But here’s the thing about both praise and criticism. Never accept either one without attaching a personal expiration date to them. Neither of them are forever. Assuming that your actions of today will continue to make you successful in the future is very limited thinking. You need to continually ask yourself how you can get better. No matter how good you may have been yesterday, or how good you are today, if you’re not better tomorrow then you’re losing ground to someone who is. 

Accept the praise, enjoy it a while but don’t forget, if you’re still trying to live off of last week’s praise next week you’ll likely be getting kind of stinky to the people around you. Greatness doesn’t come from doing something well once, it comes from doing something very well, again and again.

Likewise, criticism needs a relatively short expiration date. Ponder it for a time, learn from it what you can. If there is a lesson for you in the criticism then accept it. Learn from it, act upon it and ask yourself how you can prevent yourself from slipping back into that poor performance. Then toss the criticism into the trash heap of ancient history. Never dwell on criticism.

Praise and criticism both have the place in the toolbox of leadership. Just as a leader must keep their praise and criticisms fresh, the people on the receiving end of those tools must realize that neither was intended to last forever. 

Recognizing People

Steve Keating 4 Comments

When Ronald Reagan was running for re-election to the Presidency of The United States he made a stop at a nursing home to chat with some of the residents. During a conversation with one gentleman in a wheelchair the President asked him if he knew who he was. The gentleman leaned forward in his wheelchair and gave Reagan a long look. Then while shaking his head he said “no, no I don’t know who you are but if you ask the nurse at the end of the hall I’m sure she’ll be able to tell you who you are.” 

 

I’m not certain that the story is true but I like it and it kind of fits with my post so I thought I’d share it. It only kind of fits with my post because this post is about recognizing people…just not that kind of recognition. 

 

This is a post about the importance of recognizing people for their efforts. The kind of recognition that Authentic Leaders regularly provide their people. 

 

I know the importance of recognizing another person’s efforts. The research shows that it is vital. People need to know what they do matters almost as much as they need air and water. 

 

And yet I struggle in this area. 

 

I struggle with this because I, like most people, fall into the trap known as the Tyranny of the Urgent. 

 

I do things that seem urgent to me rather than doing the things that are truly important. A very wise person once told me to never underestimate the absolute unimportance of nearly everything I do. Most of the stuff we do everyday won’t matter in 1 year, 5 years, or at the end of our years. Yet we do many of those things at the expense of the things that will matter.

 

Showing another person that they matter by giving them honest and sincere recognition is one of the most important and lasting things you can ever do. 

 

It doesn’t take much effort to find valid reasons for recognizing someone if you’re interested in trying. You’ll also quickly discover that recognition builds morale and improves attitudes. If you want to make an even bigger impact on someone then don’t just say it, write it on a note card and give it to them. Most people will look at it multiple times and even show it to family and friends. 

 

While it doesn’t take much effort to find reasons for recognizing someone it does require tons of discipline to do it consistently. Make the effort, it’s one of the nicest things you can do… for yourself.

 

In his 1936 book entitled “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Dale Carnegie said to “Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” 


It was outstanding advice then and its outstanding advice today.