Tag Overcoming Fear

The Enemy Within a Me

Steve Keating 7 Comments

People get frustrated with me when I tell them that it’s very likely the greatest obstacle to success they face is themselves. 

They tell me I don’t understand, but I do. They tell me I don’t know, but I do. They tell me I don’t know how tough it can be “out there,” but I do. 

I also know that in any situation where I’ve struggled to advance or accomplish a goal my greatest enemy was within me. That enemy slowed down my progress. My doubts about my own abilities prevented me from moving forward. Those doubts opened the door to my true enemy which was fear of failure. 

Despite the compliments I get about my speaking ability, the things I write and other stuff I do, I know this undeniable truth about myself…overall I’m a pretty average person. I don’t say that about myself in a bad way, in fact my “averageness” is one of my greatest strengths. It helps me relate to the people I’m trying to help. 

That’s why I can say with a high degree of confidence, I do understand, I do know. 

I also know my main enemy is within a me! 

I know the best way for me to block that enemy is to believe in myself. People who believe in themselves are pretty darn near impossible to stop. When YOU believe in yourself you are pretty much unstoppable.

Believing in yourself leaves no room for doubt. Without doubt to open the door fear has no way into your head. 

Any battle is halfway won when when your enemy within is kept away. Obstacles become opportunities when the enemy within you can’t mess with your head. 

So the next time doubt starts to creep into your thoughts you need to immediately ask yourself,  “is this an actual problem, or is this the enemy within a me just tearing down my confidence?”

If you’re average like me, and most of you are, (see, that’s how “average” works) you’ll know it’s the enemy within. You should also know you can defeat it by ignoring it. I know that if you believe in yourself you will be unstoppable. 

I know that about you cause I know that about me. I’ll never let the enemy within a me make me doubt my ability and neither you should you.

Fear Isn’t Real

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There seems to be a lot of fear going around these days. Fear of getting sick, fear of going broke, fear of going broke because you got sick, fear of the unknown and apparently even fear of running out of toilet paper.

All this fear going around is kinda weird since fear isn’t actually real. You can see someone who appears to be scared but you can’t see the fear. You can hear someone scream but you’ve never heard fear make a sound. Fear has no odor, no color and no taste. Show me what fear looks like and I’ll hold up a mirror and show you someone with a vivid imagination.

You’ve never seen fear because fear doesn’t exist.

Dale Carnegie once said the “the only place fear exists is in our minds.” If that were all there was to it then no one would ever be afraid. Unfortunately the mind is very powerful and it frequently convinces us that the unreal is indeed very real.

When your mind convinces you that your fear is real the effects can be devastating. Fear can be and often is fatal to dreams. It paralyzes our thinking and it spreads quickly. Allowed to exist long enough fear will consume all rational thinking. When relational thinking is gone fear can play all kinds of tricks on us. It’s favorite trick seems to be making us believe the possible is actually impossible.

The good news is that there is an antidote for fear. It’s called action. Almost any action will do but nothing beats carefully considered, planned out action.

That is one reason I have so many plans. Plans in case I lose my income. Plans in case I get sick and can’t work. Plans for things out of my control. Yes, I understand that I can’t control things out of my control but I can certainly have a plan for how I will respond to them. So can you!

I have plans so when fear attempts to overtake me I don’t have to think…I just have to take whatever actions my plan says to take. That fake sensation of fear gets swamped by action.

Having a plan before fear attempts it’s takeover is best but it’s not essential. But when fear begins to creep in you must act quickly. Just do something. Do one thing that you know is right. Then do another, a couple of quick actions will buy you a bit of time to do some planning. Be sure that your plan includes lots of action steps because every action you take will weaken fear’s ability to hold you back.

As powerful as fear can feel at times the reality is that fear has only the power that you allow it to have. The secret to eliminating fear in your life is to believe in yourself more than you believe in fear.

Fear is an illusion that is easily exposed by logical thoughts and actions. YOU CAN beat it. You can outthink it. You can out hustle it. You can overpower it with a belief in yourself.

The only question is whether or not you believe you can.

So, do you believe?

Second Thoughts

Steve Keating 1 Comment

It is okay to doubt yourself for a moment. The only people who don’t have second thoughts are the ones who have few thoughts in the first place. 

 

Having a doubt in your mind doesn’t mean you’re a doubter. It means you have the mental capacity to re-think something. Many times a second thought will sharpen your decision, not change it. 

 

Second thoughts cause you to ask yourself questions, find alternatives and take the appropriate action. Second thoughts slow us down and give us time to reflect on the decision we just made. Second thoughts can serve a valuable purpose. 

 

But…

 

Second thoughts can also come straight out of fear. Fear of failure, fear of being wrong, fear of upsetting or disappointing someone. Second thoughts born out of fear are almost always a very stressful experience. 

 

Second thoughts sometimes stem from a lack of self-confidence. Those second thoughts are demotivating and cause you to doubt not just your decisions but your abilities, values, and even your relationships with others. Second thoughts based on a lack of confidence in yourself actually feed on themselves and grow every time you experience doubt. 

 

Second thoughts from fear or a confidence issue serve no useful purpose because they cause you to ask the wrong questions. They cause you to question yourself more than the decision you made. These kinds of second thoughts don’t sharpen a decision or even change a decision, they simply delay it or eliminate the decision completely. 

 

So when you’re having second thoughts you need to determine the source of that doubt. If it’s coming from fear then remember that the only place that fear exists is in our minds. Fear can not make a home in your head unless you allow it. The fastest and most effective way to deal with fear is to take action. Do the thing you fear the most and fear will no longer have control over you. 

 

If your second thoughts are coming from a lack of self-confidence then you need to remind yourself of all your past successes. If you’ve succeeded before then you can absolutely do it again. You need to ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen if you move forward with your decision. Realize that in most cases you are perfectly capable of dealing with that “worst.” Rethink your decision to determine how you can minimize that “worst case” and then move forward. 

 

Not making a decision due to second thoughts IS a decision. It’s a decision to do nothing and doing nothing is almost always wrong. 


People who never have second thoughts are know it alls who most often know nothing at all. You actually want to have second thoughts. Use them to make better, more confident decisions. There is no doubt, no doubt at all, that it will lead you to a better life!