Tag Negativity

How to Block Naysayers From Your Life

Steve Keating Leave a comment

There was a Vice-President of the United States back in the late 1960’s or early 70’s who had a love hate relationship with the press. Okay, that’s not exactly accurate, it was more of a hate, hate, some more relationship but that’s not the point here. He called the media a bunch of “Nattering Nabobs of Negativism.” I have no idea as to whether or not that was an accurate description of the media back then but I think it’s a pretty funny line.

I also think it indeed accurately describes much of the media content, particularly the social media content we absorb today. The most successful people and, perhaps more importantly, the happiest people do not let negativity seep into their minds. They effectively block it out. That requires both discipline and intentionality. Here are some steps you can take to keep those nattering nabobs of negativism outta your head.

1. Identify the naysayers. Recognize the individuals in your life who consistently bring negativity, doubt, or pessimism into your interactions. Once you identify these people you may want to ask yourself why you allow them to be in your life.

2. Evaluate the impact. Reflect on how their presence affects your mental well-being, confidence, and goals. Consider whether their opinions hold value or are merely hindering your progress. Once you understand the damage these naysayers can do to your life you may want to ask yourself why you continue to allow them to be in your life.

3. Set boundaries. Establish clear boundaries with naysayers to limit their influence on your life. This might involve reducing the time you spend with them or minimizing the topics you discuss with them. It may also be a good time to determine whether or not they should be allowed into your life at all.

4. Surround yourself with positivity. Seek out supportive and encouraging individuals who uplift and inspire you. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can counteract the negativity from naysayers.

5. Practice assertiveness. Communicate your boundaries assertively but respectfully. Let naysayers know that you appreciate their perspective. However, you prefer to focus on constructive and optimistic discussions. This might be a great time to ask yourself why you are so pleasant and accommodating to people who perhaps shouldn’t be in your life at all.

6. Stay focused on your goals. Keep your attention on your goals and aspirations, regardless of the negativity others may project onto you. Remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities, and don’t let the doubts of naysayers derail your progress. Remember, their opinion of your goals and aspirations are their problem, not yours.

7. Cultivate self-confidence. Build it by acknowledging your achievements, learning from setbacks, and developing a positive mindset. Confidence acts as a shield against the negativity of naysayers.

8. Limit exposure to naysayers. Avoid certain social gatherings or conversations where their negativity prevails. Never never never join in the negativity just to get along. Negativity is contagious, keep your distance whenever possible.

9. Seek support. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or mentors. They should believe in you and your abilities. Lean on them for encouragement and guidance when facing challenges or doubts.

10. Practice self-care. Take care of your mental and emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Prioritize self-care to maintain resilience in the face of negativity.

There will always be times when we are forced to interact with nattering nabobs of negativism. But being forced to interact does mean mean we’re forced to absorb the negativity. Remember your personal greatness and ability to overcome any challenge. Positivity is choice and it’s one of the most important choices you can make. So make it often, very very often.

How to Be More Realistic

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every person, who, when confronted with their negativity, claimed they weren’t being negative, they were just being realistic. Actually I wouldn’t mind having a buck or two for every time I said that too. The truth is when we’re constantly pointing out the negative in most every situation we’re probably being negative. That’s unhelpful to everyone involved in the situation, especially ourselves.

But the other side of the coin can be just as bad. Being overly optimistic can cause us to make too risky decisions. Things don’t just “work out best” because we believe they will. Thinks work out best for those who are best at working things out.

That requires a completely realistic view of the potential pluses and minuses of a given situation. Remaining realistic in all situations is a skill that can be developed. It typically involves developing a mindset and approach that aligns with the actual circumstances and probabilities of a situation. If you’re interested in truly becoming more realistic here are some ideas that can help.

• Objective Assessment: Evaluate situations objectively without letting emotions cloud your judgment. Consider facts and evidence rather than relying on personal feelings. This is where the old adage, “sleep on it” comes in handy. Things often look very different in the morning than they did the night before.

• Acceptance of Reality: Acknowledge and accept the current reality, even if it’s not ideal. Avoid wishful thinking or denying the truth to create a more accurate understanding of your circumstances.

• Critical Thinking: Engage in critical thinking by questioning assumptions and considering different perspectives. This helps in forming a more well-rounded and realistic view of situations. Don’t automatically assume that everything you think is true actually is.

• Goal Setting: Set achievable and realistic goals. Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps.

• Learn from Experience: Reflect on past experiences and learn from them. Analyze both successes and failures to gain insights into what worked and what didn’t. Use this knowledge to make informed decisions.

• Consider Probabilities: When assessing future outcomes, consider the probabilities involved. Avoid overestimating positive outcomes or underestimating potential challenges.

• Balance Optimism with Realism: While optimism is valuable, it’s important to balance it with realism. Strive for a positive outlook without losing sight of the practical aspects of a situation.

• Seek Feedback: Gather feedback from others to gain different perspectives and insights. This external input can help you see things from a more realistic standpoint. And make sure that feedback you seek isn’t coming from only people who agree with you. You’ll often learn more from people who you disagree with than you will from people already aligned with your beliefs.

• Stay Informed: Stay informed about the facts and relevant information related to your areas of interest. Being well-informed contributes to a more realistic understanding of the world around you. Be careful with your sources of information too, this may come as a surprise but social media isn’t always the most accurate source for information.

• Flexibility: Be open to adjusting your plans and expectations based on new information or changing circumstances. Flexibility is key to adapting to reality. Remember, if you can’t change your mind, you can’t change anything.

Don’t forget, being realistic doesn’t mean being negative or pessimistic. It’s about approaching situations with a clear understanding of what is likely to happen and making decisions based on that understanding. Better decisions lead directly to a better life, and that’s about as real as it gets.