Tag Living Your Core Values

How to Know What You Believe In

Steve Keating Leave a comment

One of the questions that Charlie Kirk would frequently ask students on college campuses was, “What do you believe in?”

The question most often came early in a debate with a student who had just told Charlie that everything he, Charlie, believed in was wrong. Terribly wrong as a matter of fact.

So then Charlie would ask the student what they believed in.

In virtually every case, the student would stammer, stutter, and eventually admit they didn’t really know what they believed in. After a bit more conversation, they figured out that most of what they had “heard” about Charlie was nearly totally wrong.

Charlie pursued that line of questioning because he knew if the students didn’t know specifically what they believed in, they were susceptible to believing anything. He also knew it was very common for someone of college age to not have put much thought into what they believe. But guess what? An incredibly large percentage of people of ALL ages have never put much thought into what they truly believe and they too are susceptible to believing anything.

That’s why understanding what you truly believe in is such a powerful step toward living a purposeful and authentic life. Your beliefs shape your decisions, relationships, and how you navigate the world. But in a chaotic world filled with opinions, expectations, and distractions, pinpointing your core beliefs can feel overwhelming.

Especially when so much of what we read and see online is created in China, North Korea, or some other, less-than-friendly country. Throw in the fact that it was created for the express purpose of spreading confusion and hate, and it becomes almost impossible to know what to believe. Unless you are well-grounded by what you’re certain you truly believe in.

This post offers practical steps to help you uncover what you believe in, so you can live with clarity and conviction. So, let’s get into it.

Reflect on Your Experiences

Your life experiences are a window into your beliefs. Take time to reflect on moments that shaped you—both the highs and the lows. Ask yourself:

• What moments in my life felt deeply meaningful or fulfilling? Why?

• When did I feel proud of my actions or choices?

• What situations made me feel uncomfortable or conflicted?

For example, if you felt fulfilled volunteering at a community event, you might value service or connection. If you felt uneasy when someone was treated unfairly, fairness or justice might be a core belief. Write down these moments and look for patterns.

Identify What Sparks Strong Emotions

Your emotions are clues to your beliefs. Pay attention to what makes you angry, inspired, or deeply moved. For instance:

• If you’re outraged by dishonesty in the workplace, you might value integrity.

• If you’re inspired by stories of people overcoming adversity, resilience, or courage could be central to your belief system.

Keep a journal for a week and note situations that evoke strong feelings. Over time, you’ll see recurring themes that point to your core values.

Question the “Shoulds” in Your Life

Many of us adopt beliefs from family, culture, or society without questioning them. To uncover what you believe, challenge the “shoulds” in your life. Ask:

• Why do I feel that I should pursue a certain career, lifestyle, or goal?

• Do these expectations align with who I am, or are they someone else’s values?

For example, if you feel pressure to climb the corporate ladder but find joy in creative pursuits, your belief in personal fulfillment might outweigh societal expectations of success. Be honest about what feels authentic to you. But also be practical; you do need to earn a living, so you need to find the balance between what you want to do and what you need to do. Knowing what you truly believe in helps you find that balance.

Explore Your Role Models

Think about people you admire. What qualities draw you to them? Their courage, kindness, innovation, or determination? These qualities often reflect the beliefs you hold dear. Write down:

• Who inspires me, and why?

• What specific actions or values do they embody that resonate with me?

If you admire someone who speaks out against injustice, you might believe in standing up for what’s right. Use these insights to clarify your own principles.

Test Your Beliefs in Action

Beliefs solidify when you act on them. Experiment by making choices aligned with the values you are exploring. For example:

• If you think you value patriotism, try getting involved in serving your fellow citizens. Forget about the left, right, Democrat or Republican stuff. Serve people first because it’s people who make your country great.

• If you suspect creativity is a core belief, dedicate time to a creative project.

Notice how these actions make you feel. Do they bring a sense of purpose or alignment? If not, adjust and try something else. Action helps you refine what you truly believe.

Ask Big Questions

To dig deeper, confront the big questions about life and purpose. Set aside quiet time to reflect on:

• What do I think is the purpose of life?

• What kind of person do I want to be remembered as?

• If I had one year left to live, what would I prioritize?

These questions can feel daunting, but they cut through superficial distractions and reveal what matters most to you. Write down your answers without overthinking, and revisit them later to see what stands out.

Seek Feedback from Trusted People

Sometimes, others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Ask close friends, family, or mentors:

• What values do you see me living by?

• When have you seen me at my best?

Their answers can highlight beliefs you might not recognize in yourself. For example, a friend might point out that you’re always the first to help others, revealing a belief in kindness and community.

Embrace Change and Growth

Your beliefs aren’t set in stone. As you grow, your values may evolve. What you believed in your 20s might shift in your 30s or beyond. Stay open to reassessing your beliefs as you gain new experiences. Regularly check in with yourself:

• Do my current actions align with my beliefs? If not, why not?

• Have any of my values changed over time?

This flexibility ensures your beliefs remain authentic to who you are now, not who you once were.

Final Thoughts

Knowing what you truly believe in is a journey, not a destination. It requires curiosity, honesty, and a willingness to explore your inner world. By reflecting on your experiences, emotions, and inspirations, you can uncover the values that guide you. Test those values through action, question inherited beliefs, especially question assumed beliefs, and stay open to growth. When you live in alignment with your core beliefs, you will find greater clarity, confidence, and purpose in everything you do.

Start small today: pick one of the steps above and spend 10 minutes reflecting. What do you discover about what you believe in? Jotting down your thoughts in a journal is a great way to keep them close by. Your beliefs are your compass—let them guide you toward a life that feels true to you.

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Living in Alignment With Your Core Values

Steve Keating 6 Comments

Most people have three “versions” of themselves. There’s the version of themselves that they allow other people to see. There’s also a version of themselves that they show themselves when looking in the mirror. Then there’s the authentic version of themselves that they rarely allow anyone, sometimes including themselves, to see. 

One thing that separates less successful people from more successful people is that the most successful people show themselves, and other people, their authentic version far more often than less successful people. 

Some people don’t show themselves their authentic version because they have never contemplated what that version looks like. For instance, when asked to state your core values, those values that make you the person you are, how quickly can you identify them? Core values are your guideposts in life that guide, or should guide, every decision you make in your life. 

More than anything, the decisions you make in life will determine the life you get to live. When you know your core values it is far easier to make even the biggest decisions. If you have not taken the time to identify your core values you could end up living a life of contradictions and indecision. 

Core values are those values you will fight for. Your core values are qualities or standards that govern your behavior. Your principles are rules or beliefs that guide your actions. Whether you can state your core values or not, your principles are based on those values. Your core values are the foundation for your principles. Your core values are your deeply deeply deeply held beliefs that you carry with you regardless of who you are with.  Regardless of what you are doing or where you are doing it. 

People who tell you that holding on to anything thing that tightly makes you inflexible have not yet invested the time to identify their own core values. 

I am not a Bernie Sanders fan. At all. But I admire him. Anyone who is fine with being on the losing side of a 99-1 vote in the United States Senate has clearly identified their core values. They are also living them. 

One of the reasons there are so few Authentic Leaders is that very few people in leadership positions have ever taken the time to identify their core values. They can’t show their authentic self to others because they can’t even show it to themselves. They attempt to live the life of the person they see in the mirror. 

A mentor, one who is truly invested in your success, can help you bring your core values to the surface so you can see the real you. So you can live a life in alignment with your core values. That alignment is a big big deal. When your thoughts, words, and actions all align you’ll understand why you do what you do and why you respond to others the way you do. 

Living a life aligned with who you really are guarantees a life well lived. It ensures a life lived on purpose for a purpose. And this much I can promise you…there is no better way to live. 

Who Will You be Tomorrow?

Steve Keating 2 Comments

You are changing. You change everyday. The events you’re involved in today change you. The people you associate with today change who you are tomorrow, big time. 

 

You are always in the process of becoming the person you will eventually be. The question is are you becoming that person intentionally or are you just letting that person develop by default? 

 

I guess the experts call what I’m writing about “Living Intentionally.” Since I’m not an expect I’ll just say that you’re a whole lot better off if you’re the one deciding the direction your life takes. 

 

Deciding the direction of your life does not happen by accident. It comes from making choices and decisions that get you closer to being the person you want to be. Step one is of course determining exactly who it is that you want to be. 

 

That sounds easy until you’re asked about your core values. Most people can’t state their core values off the top of their head. Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person. Core values dictate behavior. They can help you understand the difference between right and wrong. If you’re unaware of your own core values then you kind of jump about from one popular way of thinking and acting to the next one that comes along. 


Some examples of core values include:

 

  • A belief, or lack thereof, in God or an affiliation with a particular religion
  • A belief in being a good steward of resources, both natural and man-made
  • A belief that family is of fundamental importance
  • A belief that honesty is always the best policy and that trust has to be earned
  • A belief in maintaining a healthy work/life balance

Most people pick up these values from their parents or someone else close to them. They might get buried beneath the surface, sometimes deep beneath the surface, but if they are really core values they never completely go away. 

 

The problem is to remain in control of your life you need to keep your core values close at hand. Not in the back of your mind but in the front on your mind where they are readily available to help you with your decision making. 

 

Before every decision you make there is a moment. In that moment, you have the opportunity to pause and think about whether the decision or action you’re about to take is aligned with your core values. A two second pause can be the difference between living in alignment with those values or bouncing from impulse to impulse.

 

Each day is as important as the next in creating the life that you want and deserve. While each day is just a day years later you’ll find that progress was made one small day at a time. One day you’ll realize that how you spent your days is how you spent you life.


To become the person you imagined yourself to be you’ll need to define your life before circumstances do it for you. Knowing your core values takes some serious effort and soul searching but the return on that effort is living your life your way. That’s something that far too few people have the chance to experience. But you can, if you’re willing to make it so!