Who Are You?

Are you who you think you are? Are you who other people think you are? Are you basically the compilation of the five people you spend the most time with?

The answer to all of those questions is yes….sort of. I say “sort of” because you’re likely not exactly who you think you are. You’re also almost certainly not who other people think you are although they might be closer to the real you than you want to admit.

You are definitely influenced by the handful of people you spend the majority of your time with. You likely think and act a lot like them. You believe much the same as they do and you’re most comfortable being “real” when you’re with them.

So the better question is are you who you want to be?

Think of the people you know well that you respect and admire the most. These are not people you read about in the news or see in the movies. These are people you actually know. You know their good side and their not so good side. What are the qualities and characteristics they possess that cause you to admire them?

Think hard, invest some time in this. What is it really that sets them apart from the crowd?

How close are you to possessing these same qualities and characteristics. Notice there is no question mark at the end of that sentence. That’s because it’s not a question for you. It’s a question that you should be asking other people. It’s a question that you should be asking, on a regular basis, your coach or mentor.

The reason I’m not suggesting that you ask yourself is that if you’re like most people you won’t be completely honest with yourself. You’ll cut yourself too much slack and provide yourself with excuses you wouldn’t give anyone else. That’s nice to do for yourself but it isn’t helpful if your goal is to better yourself.

Once you have some sincere and honest input from people who know you well then you can decide if the you they see is the you that you want to be. There are a lot of “yous” in that sentence but this post is after all about you.

You’ll likely hear about a few shortcomings but that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect, not even the people you admire the most. You have to decide if the good qualities and characteristics you possess outweigh those shortcomings. If you have a weakness that you think is holding you back then you know what to work on.

I’m okay with being imperfect. I’m okay with not being liked by everyone. I’m okay with not being understood by everyone. I’m even okay with some people thinking I’m downright stupid.

Sometimes I disappoint people, sometimes I disappoint myself. I could make a pretty strong case that if you’re never disappointed with yourself, either with something you’ve said or done, then you’ve set your expectations for yourself way too low.

But that doesn’t make you a bad person and it certainly doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. And you are everything that comes with that, good and bad. That is who you really are!

What’s Your Best Thing?

What do you do better than almost anyone else?

 

It’s amazing and maybe a little sad how many people can’t answer that question. It’s also very concerning how many business leaders can’t answer that question on behalf of their business either. 

 

It’s concerning because the fastest way to grow your business, or yourself, is to build on your strengths. Many people focus on eliminating their weaknesses but the most successful people will tell you it’s far easier to simply overwhelm them with your strengths. 

 

I’m not saying to ignore your weaknesses, you certainly should eliminate them where you can. What I am saying is that if your strengths shine bright enough they will blind people to your weaknesses. You won’t be thought less of because of what you’re not good at, you will be thought more of because of what you’re great at. 

 

There’s some guy named Tom who plays football in the New England area. I hear he’s a pretty good quarterback. Some people say he might even be the best quarterback ever. But guess what, I also hear that he can’t hit a curveball when playing baseball. 

 

Nobody cares whether he can hit a curveball or not because he most certainly can throw a football. He uses his strengths to succeed and he keeps himself out of situations where his weaknesses could be exposed. 

 

You, me and everyone else can do the same thing in our lives and our careers. But first you must know what your strengths are. You must know what you’re better at than most everyone else. You must know what you do best!

 

Don’t mistake what you’re most passionate about for what you do best. Sadly they are often not the same. “Follow your passion” is advice often given during Commencement Speeches. It can be and often is some of the worst advice ever given. 

 

“Follow your passion” is great life advice and you definitely want to have whatever you’re passionate about be part of you life. But following your passion is not sound career advice. “Do what you’re best at” is much better advice for a successful career. If you’re fortunate enough that what you’re best at is also what you’re passionate about then good on ya. Don’t assume that because you’re passionate about something that it’s also what you do best.

 

It may take some time and deep reflection to know for sure what you’re best at. Some people know almost instinctively but most people need to noodle on that a while. But figuring it out is well worth it. Playing to your strengths is rewarding both financially and emotionally. 


So let me ask you again…what’s your best thing?


How to Know Yourself

Who you are determines how you view other people. It also determines how you respond to life’s typical ups and downs. When you know yourself you’ll have a much better understanding of why you react the way you do to the people in your life and the circumstances those people create for you.

 

So the question becomes how exactly do we truly know ourselves? There are a number of factors that make you who are but here are the two with the biggest impact: 

 

Your experiences in life. Every person you’ve ever met, everything you’ve ever done, both good and bad, everything you’ve learned and everything you believe has helped shape who you are. 

 

The people and events of your life have a huge impact on your self-image. That’s why it is critical that you make good choices about the people you allow into your life. No matter how strong you believe yourself to be, no matter how principled a life you think you live, no matter your level of self-discipline, you WILL be influenced by the people around you. Those people will determine, at least to some extent, what, when and how you experience the events that make up your life. 

 

Choose your friends & associates well because they help make you who you are. If you really want to know yourself then watch the people who are closest to you. You are basically a compilation of the four to six people that you spend the most time with.  Watch and listen to them and you will know yourself.

 

The second major factor that determines who you are is your attitude about those life experiences

 

Most people don’t think about this often enough but the fact is that your attitude is your choice. It’s ALWAYS your choice. ALWAYS! 

 

Bad things can happen to good people. The most successful and happy people CHOOSE to look for the good in nearly every life experience. Even the bad ones. 

 

For those of you who sometimes doubt whether your attitude is really your choice I fully understand. It can be really challenging to maintain a positive attitude and easy to forget that it’s a choice. It’s even harder when the people you spend the most time with aren’t helping you. 

 

If you’re hanging around with people who refuse to choose a positive attitude then you are very unlikely to have or be able to maintain a positive attitude yourself. And that’s a big deal! 

 

It’s a big deal because the attitude you keep has perhaps more impact on your success than any other single factor. If people, like your boss maybe, are telling you that you need an attitude adjustment what that really means is you probably need to change the people you consider friends and associates. 

 

The hard truth is that most people find it nearly impossible to make the choice of a positive attitude when fed constant doses of negativity. It’s possible but highly unlikely. 

 

No one wants to be thought of as negative but if you’re too often expressing negative viewpoints then people may begin to see you as negative…and they may just be right. Hang around with positive people and they will let you know when you’ve forgotten to make the choice of a positive attitude.


You may not like to hear it but it is a vital part of truly knowing yourself.

Let Me Introduce You to….You

Do you know yourself? Really? Do you know how others see you and perceive you?  

 

Many people spend a ton of time trying to figure out what makes other people tick without ever really giving any thought to themselves. Have you ever considered why you actually do the things you do and think the things you think?

 

Do you know, almost instinctively, what your core values are? Do you consider your life principles, those “guideposts” that are most important to you when making decisions? 

 

Can you, at the drop of a hat tell someone what your goals are? Can you tell them with a pretty good level of specificity, what you did this very day to get closer to one of those goals?

 

Have you ever really thought about your temperament?  

 

Are you in introvert who regains their strength after a long day by being alone? Are you an extrovert who recharges from the energy of others? Do you just love details or are you a big picture person who would prefer to leave the details to someone else? Are you a planner who plots out the events of your life big and small or do you just go with the flow and see where life takes you?  

 

When you know the answers to those questions you can put yourself into situations where you’re more likely to do well. You’ll have less stress and more fun. When you know yourself, really know yourself, you can understand why you react the way to do to other people. 

 

You’ll learn that “different” is perfectly okay. You’ll also be more likely to understand that to others you may be the one who is “different” and it won’t bother you a bit. 

 

Don’t spend another minute trying to figure out somebody else until you invest some serious time to understand yourself. Who you really are, what matters to you, what you want out of life and what you’re willing to do, and not do, to have it. 

 

The odds are overwhelming that when you get to know you you’ll like yourself more or at the very least understand what you must change so that you can. 


You can’t really understand anyone until you understand yourself. Start the process of really knowing yourself today and every tomorrow will be brighter.