Tag Influencing Others

Defining Followers

Steve Keating 4 Comments

One of the common statements you hear when discussing leadership is “you may hold a leadership position but if no one is following you then you aren’t leading, you’re only going for a walk.” 

I use that from time to time in presentations myself. I use it because as a presenter you want to say things your audience can relate to and that is a very relatable statement. It gets a few laughs and smiles. 

But true followership goes much deeper than merely following behind some individual who may be aimlessly walking about themselves. People in general have been too impressed with the number of “followers” someone has, particularly in social media. I have a bunch of social media followers. The numbers alone look impressive, especially to people who don’t understand what “followership” really is. 

The reality is I have relatively few people truly following me on social media. At least when I use my definition of “following” or “follower.” 

Using my definition of “following” the first statement in this post would look like this: “You may hold a leadership position but if you’re not positively influencing people to be the best version of themselves possible then you aren’t leading. No matter how many people you’re responsible for leading.”

Influence is the heart and soul of leadership. If you have the ability to influence others, and use that influence to help them challenge themselves to be their very best, then you are an Authentic Leader. 

This is where the massive difference between trying to manage people and actually leading them comes in. Holding a leadership position gives someone the power to force the compliance of their people. They do that through rules, penalties and consequences. But that’s managing not leading. 

Authentic leaders have no need for their people to comply. They have something much better, they have the commitment of their people. Their people are committed because they see first hand how committed their leader is to them. 

Authentic Leaders invest time with their people to help them learn, grow and develop. Oftentimes to develop into leaders themselves. They model successful leadership characteristics and “show” the path to success. Lesser leaders don’t have time to “show” much of anything, they are too busy “telling” their people how something should be done. 

Let me give you a very recent and very very personal example. Some of you may know that on the day before Thanksgiving our 15 month old granddaughter, Daisy, was taken by ambulance to the hospital. She was in grave danger. The doctors and nurses at Children’s Hospital in Phoenix are nothing short of miracle workers and we believe God used them to bring Daisy back to good health. In less than a week she was well enough that I felt comfortable traveling to a business meeting. (BTW, after 9 days is the hospital she is back home and doing well)

At the business meeting I ran into a person I’ve known for a long time. He was recently promoted into a very high leadership position. When I saw him I tried to congratulate him on his promotion. He said thanks but immediately shifted gears to what he thought was way more important. He asked how Daisy was doing. He wanted to know everything. He was genuinely concerned. He cared and it showed as he listened intently and offered any help he could. I’d walk over hot coals for that guy. He earns the commitment of people. 

I’ve thought about that brief conversation with him several times over the last few days. It made me remember that as a leader, people are at the center of everything a leader accomplishes. In a brief hallway conversation he influenced me to pay more attention to who people are and a little less to what they do. 

Influence is the essence of leadership!

I also had the opportunity to congratulate another recently promoted individual. He said he had heard about our granddaughter as well and he was “glad” that her being in the hospital didn’t prevent me from attending the meeting. The difference between these two “leaders” was striking.

If you’re an Authentic Leader then you know that your leadership isn’t measured by the number of people in your organization.  It is not about the number of people who report to you. Your leadership is measured by the number of people you influence in a positive way. 

Remember, if you’re not influencing someone to be the very best version of themselves they can possibly be, then they may report to you but they are NOT following you. 

Who Are You Talking About?

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Few things in life are more valuable than influence. Authentic Leaders know that the essence of leadership is not authority, it is influence. If you have to ability to influence another person you have the ability to lead. If you have the ability and willingness to be a positive influence on other people then you have the ability to be an Authentic Leader. 

Professional Selling is all about influence. When a customer calls wanting to buy your product that is not selling, that is taking an order. When you influence a prospect’s opinion about your product or service and change it from neutral or negative to a positive opinion, that is selling. 

The most successful people intentionally work to increase their level of influence in all settings. Whether it’s work, a social setting, or a team setting influence is the currency of success. Business success and personal success both come from possessing influence. 

One of the fastest is to increase your level of influence is to be genuinely curious about other people. Think about this…when you meet new people who are you talking about? Are you talking about the other person or are you talking about yourself? 

Work at developing the skill of making the conversation about others, not about you. You are more attractive to other people when they feel valued in your presence. When they feel valued by you then your level of influence goes up. 

Now here’s something that I need to repeat. Be GENUINELY curious about other people. This is not about manipulating people or fooling them into thinking you care about them. This is about increasing YOUR level of influence by truly caring about THEM. 

Enter into these relationships with the intention of learning from others. Ask questions and listen intently to the answers. Linger on the words of the speaker until you’re certain you understand what was said. 

People who listen intently learn more and that knowledge increases their level of influence. 

Always be relatable. No matter what you’ve accomplished in life never lose your humility. Humility is a critical characteristic of Authentic Leadership and makes you more relatable to the people you lead. Humility makes you more authentic to people and actually increases your level of influence with them. 

Never forget the power of influence. Once you’ve earned a high level of influence never forget the responsibility to ensure the influence you have on others is positive. If your influence helps other people overcome their challenges and succeed then you’ll truly have the kind of influence that makes a difference in the world. 

The Myth of Influence

Steve Keating 10 Comments

When asked to provide a definition of leadership I most often describe it as influence. I add that if you have the ability to influence others then you have the ability to lead. 

Ken Blanchard, the renowned American Leadership expert and author of “The One Minute Manager” says that “The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.”

Experienced leaders know that to be true. They also know that whatever influence they have comes from who they are not what they are. They know that their title or position provides no lasting influence. People with little or no leadership experience tend to greatly overestimate the importance of an important sounding title when it comes to influence. 

People with little or no leadership experience assume that if they had a title or a position of leadership then they would have influence too. That’s a myth!

Influence must be earned and a position merely gives you a chance to do that. A position or title gives you the opportunity to earn the respect required to have lasting influence. It gives you a bit of time to demonstrate you deserve to be trusted but in that time you will earn your level of influence whatever level it turns out to be. 

Good leaders earn influence beyond their stated position. They quickly learn that a position doesn’t make a leader but a leader can make a position. 

In order to grow your influence you must first build trust. People who do not trust you will not be open to your influence. To build trust you must do what you say you will do…every time. Consistently following through on your commitments is the fastest way to build your reputation. Being inconsistent when following through with commitments is the fastest way to destroy it. 

Doing something grows influence far faster than saying something. You can be an awesome speaker but words alone will never grow your influence. You need to speak through your actions and when your words and actions are in alignment your level of influence is limitless. 

One often overlooked skill that will quickly grow your level of influence is the skill of listening. You can’t influence people you have zero relationships with. One of the fastest ways to develop a meaningful relationship with someone is to listen to them. REALLY listen. 

Listen as if they are the only person who matters in that moment. Listen to every opinion and acknowledge it as important and valuable. You’ll quickly discover that the fastest way to get people to listen to you is to listen to them. Two-way communication is vital to building influence because if no one is listening to you then you have absolutely no influence.

 

Influence is an exceptional asset in the workplace and in life. It is mandatory if you’re going to lead others. If your goal is to be an Authentic Leader then don’t seek a position of influence, try instead to be a person of influence. 

Leading with Influence

Steve Keating Leave a comment

If you had no title of consequence, if you had zero power to punish and reward people – would they still follow you? Would you still get positive results from them? 

The answer to that question is yes if, IF, you are actually a true leader. 

At it’s core leadership is about influence. If you have the ability to influence others then you have the ability to lead. It is not your title or lofty position within an organization that makes you a leader, it’s your level of influence. 

If you’re truly leading people they will commit to you. People don’t commit to companies, they don’t commit to positions and they certainly don’t commit to titles. People commit to other people, period.

If your people are not committed to you then they are not truly following you. They may comply with your requests because you have the power to punish and reward but that simply makes you a boss not a leader. (Just to be clear here I do not use “boss” in a negative sense, I use it just to distinguish the difference between leading and not leading. I have worked for bosses with no leadership ability at all and for bosses who were outstanding leaders.)

The foundations that support influence are perception and visibility. Influence doesn’t happen unless you have improved others’ perception of you and increased your visibility. Once you’ve established the appropriate level of perception, you will have gained a solid reputation and foundation of respect. After you’ve increased your visibility, you’ll become known and valued in your organization. Influence now becomes possible.

So, how do you improve other people’s perception of you while increasing your visibility? Here are four ideas…

Intentionally plan your day. Most people sadly just let their day happen to them. People of influence happen to their day. They focus on the outcome they need from their day and not all the small events that may happen to them during it. They leverage the events that get them closer to their desired outcome while minimizing the impact of the events that don’t. 

Choose to help. My better days are the days I help others be better. My best days are the days when almost no one knows I did it. If you have to tell people that you’re helping others you’re still missing the influence mark; help enough people and you won’t have to tell anyone because lots of people will notice the difference that you make.

Accept responsibility for the outcome. Don’t blame others for your mistakes. You will never learn from a mistake that you won’t admit and when you don’t accept responsibility for your mistakes you at least inadvertently shift the blame to someone else; that does not improve other people’s perception of you. Mistakes happen, they are a part, an important part, of growing. I wouldn’t recommend highlighting your mistakes but don’t try to hide them either.

Recognize others….for their success and yours. People crave recognition! Even people who say that don’t need any recognition literally crave it. It’s a basic human need. So fill that need for others, praise them early and often. Be intentional about looking for good things other people do and be lavish in your recognition. Also remember that it’s very likely that others contributed to your success, don’t forget to share your success with them through public recognition. No one, I mean no one, succeeds completely on their own. So don’t behave as though you did.

Influence is built, little by little, day after day. If you want to earn the commitment of your people then commit to build your influence every single day.

Influential Leadership

Steve Keating 5 Comments

The premier American author on leadership, John Maxwell, says that leadership is influence, nothing more and nothing less.

I wholeheartedly agree with that, wholeheartedly with a bunch of conditions. The conditions all have to do with where influence comes from. 

Influence doesn’t just happen, influence, like pretty much everything else in life must be earned. When you’re promoted to a leadership position the position comes with a certain degree of influence. The influence that comes with a position however is very perishable, it comes with an expiration date that more closely resembles milk rather than cheese. It doesn’t last long. 

Soon after being promoted to a leadership position you must begin to earn your influence. Your level of influence rises and falls based on your integrity, your ability to make decisions, the quality of your judgement, and your willingness to demonstrate to people that you actually care about them.

By the way, your level of influence is impacted by those same factors whether you occupy a leadership position or not. That’s why it is completely unnecessary to hold a position of leadership in order to lead. It’s your level of influence that provides you with an opportunity to lead, not a title or a position. 

A good many people in leadership positions fail to realize just how perishable their influence really is. They start thinking they “have arrived” and that people will continue to follow them no matter what. That is simply not the case.

If you’re a person who truly wants to lead then you must work to grow your level of influence every day. You must make certain that your words match your actions. You must make the decisions that non-leaders are unwilling or unable to make. Those decisions must be right far more often then they are wrong.

You also must actually care about the people you would lead. People will not follow an uncaring leader. If you’re not the type of person who is willing to invest yourself in someone else’s success then you will struggle as a leader. That doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means you’re likely a better follower than leader.

To become an influential leader don’t try to become a leader, try to become an influential person. When you develop the qualities required to grow your influence then the leadership opportunities will find you. 

 

The Look of Leadership

Steve Keating 1 Comment

They say you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. The same could be said of a leader.

Many leaders, maybe even most, look and act like a leader. (Or at least they look and act the way a majority of people think a leader should look and act) They carry themselves a certain way, speak with conviction and they are good communicators who can effectively present to large groups. 

Many leaders, maybe even most, look and act like a leader…. but not all!

I hear way too often that “they don’t look like a leader” or “they don’t speak well in front of groups” or “they are too quiet” or they don’t dress “right” to lead. 

That is way too simplistic. 

It is beyond foolish to judge someone’s leadership ability by how they look or sound. Leadership is about influence pure and simple. If someone can influence others then they can lead others. Leaders come in all shape and sizes, they come in all ages and they come from all backgrounds. 

The only way to actually judge a person’s leadership ability is to look at the people they lead. Simply put, the most successful leaders have the most successful followers. The most successful leaders are the ones who create more successful leaders. 

While a good speaker may influence someone for a time a good leader can influence someone for a lifetime. I’d much rather follow a true leader who leads without looking like a leader than follow a person who merely looks like a leader. 

The reality is there is no “leadership look,” there are only leadership actions. 

Impeccable integrity, consistently sound judgement, a truly caring heart, a desire to see others succeed, matching their words with their actions, excellent relationship skills, the ability to feed egos beyond their own, providing consistent recognition and feedback are just some of the skills, attitudes and actions that help someone lead. 

Look for those things and when you see them, then you’ll be seeing “the look” of a leader!

Can You Lead You?

Steve Keating 6 Comments

Before you can lead anyone else you must be able to lead yourself. Before you can lead up you must lead yourself exceptionally well.

Leading “up” simply means extending your influence to those above you in your organization. When you lead up you have much greater impact on your organization than your position might suggest. Your influence comes not from your title or position, it comes from the value that you bring to the entire organization. 

To lead yourself exceptionally well and earn the opportunity to lead up in your organization you must first learn to control your attitude. Your attitude is entirely your choice. If you don’t fully believe that then you have surrendered one of life’s greatest assets to the whims of other people’s moods and “stuff” over which you have no control. 

Yes, your attitude, or your positive attitude, can be one of your greatest assets. Your attitude shapes almost every decision you make. It can either add to or subtract from the ability you have to tackle the tough jobs required to lead up.

While you may not be able to control all the events of your day and you certainly can’t control the attitude of other people, you DO have COMPLETE control over YOUR attitude. 

To lead up you must learn to control your calendar. You must be able to say no to the often unimportant urgent things so you can focus on the truly important value adding activities where you can make a difference for the organization.

You must realize as a person looking to extend their influence that your words matter. As your influence within an organization grows your words will carry more weight. As you work to earn the opportunity to lead up you will need to choose your words with care because your credibility is fragile and the wrong word at the wrong time can damage it. 

If you’re going to lead yourself exceptionally well you must develop the discipline to think BEFORE you talk. Great leaders know that there is no way to “unsay” something that has been said and even worse, there is no way to “unhear” what has been heard. 

Think of it like this: if your words aren’t adding value to a conversation then what are they adding?

To lead yourself exceptionally well you must find balance in your life. You must lead your life according to your core values and goals. Your core values and goals are what allow you to set priorities in all areas of your life. Knowing, truly knowing, your core values and setting goals around them, allows you to make balanced decisions that reflect who you really are.

It will look to other people as if you “walk you talk,” it will look that way because you will be walking your talk. You might be able to fool some people for a while but when attempting to lead up, frauds are discovered pretty quickly. 

To lead yourself and to lead up, know who you are, know what you stand for and work everyday to be true to yourself.