Tag Giving Orders

Why Do You Want to Lead?

Steve Keating 3 Comments

I was approached recently by someone asking if I would be their mentor. I already mentor a small handful of people and I take that responsibility very seriously. So I am selective about who I can invest my time with. 

First we need to “click.” If we can’t get along then neither of us will accomplish much. I also always approach mentoring with the knowledge that if the mentee isn’t willing to make changes in their life then I won’t be able to do anything to help them. Improvement and growth require a willingness to change. No one changes anything about themselves until they see a need. That’s one of the best things a mentor can do for someone, help them see a need to change something. 

So I asked the person who was looking for a mentor a few questions. I’d bet they are in their early 30’s. They have had a few jobs since college and each new job has come with the opportunity for advancement and increased pay. But in each case the opportunities have not been realized and the person thought a mentor could “give them an edge” when it comes to receiving a promotion. 

They said what they wanted was to earn a leadership position. I liked hearing the word “earn” because it told me they knew they would have to work for their new position. Then I asked why they wanted a leadership position and that’s when we went entirely off the rails. 

They said they had been taking orders for their entire career and they just figured it was about time they should be giving the orders. 

Where do I begin? Well, first off, “their entire career” was around 10 years. I’m not overly impressed with that. But I suppose when that’s a third of your life it seems like a long time. The bigger problem was of course the “giving orders” part. 

I asked several more questions. I determined that this person had worked for several bosses but had likely never actually worked with a leader. Their impression of leadership was someone in a position above them telling them what to do and when to do it. 

That’s a big problem. Most people in leadership positions lack any type of formal leadership training. So they “lead” the way they have been led. 

I asked one final question. I asked, “what are you willing to change about yourself in order to authentically lead the people you are responsible for?” Their answer is what ended our discussion. They said, “as a leader it’s not my job to change, my people need to change to suit me. That’s the kind of leader I want to be.”

I won’t be working with that person. I determined that they didn’t really want to learn. They had an rigid understanding of what leadership meant to them and they didn’t display much interest in Authentic Leadership. 

So for anyone interested in moving into a leadership position let me suggest that you first ask yourself “why do I want to lead.” There can be several good answers to that question but one of them must be “so I can help others learn, grow and succeed.” 

Authentic Leaders don’t aspire to a leadership position. They aspire to become a person worthy of leading others to their full potential. They don’t hope to hold a position that people will want to follow. They work to become someone that others will want to follow, whether they have a leadership position or not. 

If you’re interested in helping others grow then leading people will be very rewarding for you. If you’re only interested in giving orders then I would suggest a career as a short order cook. Then you can yell “order up” all day long and not offend a single person. 

Want more of LeadToday? I’m changing things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. Beginning March 2nd I’ll be publishing two videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $5 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 

If you’re interested in taking a look then head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 🙂

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

The Power of Questions

Steve Keating 5 Comments

Many people have the belief that leaders give orders. They think leaders tell people what to do and how to do it. Sadly, that is true for far too many people in leadership positions.

Authentic Leaders however give few orders. They don’t bark out directions at people telling them exactly what to do. What Authentic Leaders actually do is ask questions. They ask questions to help their people grow. They ask questions to help their people learn. They ask questions to challenge their people’s thinking. More importantly, they ask questions to teach their people to challenge their own thinking.

They ask questions to help their people become and stay engaged. They ask questions to help their people feel like they are part of the team. And they ask questions to learn from their people.

Asking questions to help someone see how their thinking might be flawed is far more effective than telling someone they are wrong. Asking someone how they came to a particular conclusion is far more people valuing then telling them they don’t know what they are talking about.

Asking for input before making a big decision helps people be more supportive of the decision even if it wasn’t the decision they would have made.

Asking people for their ideas before dumping a change on them helps them feel as if they matter. It frequently makes the change more beneficial for everyone.

Authentic Leaders ask questions and they know the better the question the better the answer. The more questions they ask the more engaged their people become. Authentic Leaders know they can never stop learning. They also know they can’t learn anything by telling, they can only learn when asking.

Asking questions is a far more powerful way to lead then telling. But to real key to asking effective questions is listening well.

Authentic Leaders listen. They linger on the words of the person speaking until they are certain of what was said AND what was meant. They listen with the intent to understand instead of listening only to respond. They listen with focus and without distractions.

Glancing at your cell phone to make certain you’re not missing anything important guarantees you’ll miss something important from the person you’re speaking with. And you’ll make them feel anything but important. Your cell phone doesn’t help you listen more effectively and you’re only fooling yourself if you think it does.

Ask questions and listen. Listen to the exclusion of any other noise. You will learn far more than you think you will. You might even learn that your team is far more effective than you thought they were.