A Second Chance

There has been a lot of talk in the news lately, at least in the U.S. of second chances. Specifically the conversation has centered around when and IF people deserve a second chance.

I suppose the politically correct and sensitive answer is: yes, people always deserve a second chance.

That’s an easy answer in theory but in practice it’s not so simple.

No one will ever accuse me of being overly politically correct but in this instance, maybe only in this instance, I believe the politically correct answer is actually the right answer. People really do deserve a second chance. Maybe a more specially correct answer would be other people deserve a second chance.

We seldom need to be reminded that we deserve a second chance, I mean, we’re only human, we make mistakes. We deserve a chance to “do better next time.”

So does every other person.

But again, giving second chances is often easier said than done. When the other person’s “mistake” has directly impacted us it is harder to give them a do over. It’s harder but not impossible. Some mistakes however are so big it’s hard to even call it a mistake, it might just be a lie, or even a crime. Still, it’s not impossible, only harder.

Just remember “second” means 2, it means another. It doesn’t mean 3 or 4 or 5. It doesn’t mean another and another. If someone continually does you wrong then YOU deserve to walk away from them.

Here’s a question to ask yourself when determining if someone else deserves a second chance: if you had done the identical thing, would YOU want and deserve a second chance? Answer HONESTLY….

There’s your answer. If you deserve a second chance then why doesn’t the next person?

If you answered no to that question you need to ask it again. Ask it again while keeping in mind that you are special, you are valuable, you matter. You deserve to be allowed to try again. Never forget that amazing FACT!

FORGIVE This Holiday Season

(Yes, I know this post is a day earlier than normal but it’s kind of a gift and I didn’t want it to be late)

The song says that this is the most wonderful time of the year. I agree! I think most people would agree with that sentiment as well. Most, but not all.

For some people “The Holidays” are the most difficult time of the year. Family gatherings bring with them heightened levels of stress and remembrances of things gone wrong. Often the memories are downright angry.

Sometimes we carry that anger with us for years and years, the weight of it burdening every holiday and family gathering. Anger wears us out, it limits the joy in life.

So this year, whatever holiday it is you celebrate just let go of the anger long enough to remember the good times. Then just forgive whoever and whatever has stood between you and the good memories.

Now, I know that sounds a little Pollyanna. I know how hard forgiveness can be and I know some people have been deeply hurt by others. Understand I’m not suggesting you forget, I’m hoping you will forgive.

Some of the most generous people will give and give, all while holding tightly to the anger and resentment. I’m suggesting that perhaps you to be even more generous this year and FORgive.

Forgive others because even if they don’t deserve it, you do deserve the peace that comes with forgiving.

It doesn’t matter if they are sorry, forgive them anyway. Even if you don’t want a renewed friendship or relationship, forgive them. Just forgive! Hanging on to anger is just too expensive, in every way you can measure it.

One more thing, while you’re forgiving others don’t forget that you also deserve forgiveness. So if it’s needed, forgive yourself too!

This can indeed be the most wonderful time of the year, but YOU must choose to make it so.