Tag Developing People

How to Mentor and Coach Others

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Everyone does better when they have a coach or mentor in their life. Maybe even more than one mentor: a business mentor, a personal mentor; there are even retirement mentors who help you transition from the go-go workaday life to a more relaxed yet fulfilling and meaningful life.

But the sad reality is, there just aren’t enough mentors to go around.

The great news is, there are more than enough qualified people around who would make excellent mentors and coaches, if only they knew how.

If you would like to assist others in their growth and development, here’s a post specifically for you. Yes, YOU can make a significant impact on the lives of others. Whether you are guiding a colleague, student, or friend, your experience and skills can inspire growth, enhance confidence, and help them unlock their full potential.

Here are some practical steps to help you become an effective mentor or coach:

1. Clarify the Distinction Between Mentoring and Coaching

Prior to starting, it is important to distinguish between mentoring and coaching. Each approach has a unique role:

• Mentoring is a long-term relationship centered around overall growth, career guidance, and sharing experiential wisdom. A mentor serves as a role model, providing counsel and offering a broader perspective.

• Coaching is typically short-term and goal-oriented, focusing on specific skills or challenges. A coach assists the individual in identifying solutions by posing questions and facilitating self-discovery.

Align your approach with the needs of the individual you are helping. Are they seeking comprehensive guidance (mentoring) or targeted skill development (coaching)? Tailor your approach accordingly.

2. Establish Trust and Rapport

Trust forms the bedrock of any mentoring or coaching relationship. Without it, progress can stagnate. Here are some strategies to cultivate a robust connection:

• Active Listening: Dedicate your full attention, refrain from interrupting, and demonstrate empathy. Reflect back on what you have heard to confirm comprehension (e.g., “It appears that you are experiencing significant challenges with this project.”)

• Authenticity: Share your own experiences, including instances of failure, to foster relatability. Vulnerability contributes to trust.

• Clear Expectations: Initiate discussions regarding goals, boundaries, and the frequency of meetings. Clarity prevents misunderstandings.

• Confidentiality: Assure them that their thoughts and concerns are secure with you.

A trustworthy relationship establishes a conducive environment for growth, where the individual feels comfortable being open and taking risks.

3. Ask Powerful Questions

Excellent mentors and coaches provide guidance rather than merely offering answers. Encourage open-ended questions that stimulate thought and reflection. For instance:

* Mentoring: “Where do you envision yourself in five years? What actions can you take to achieve that goal?”

* Coaching: “What is the primary obstacle hindering your progress toward this objective? How can you overcome it?”

Refrain from leading questions that promote your own agenda. Instead, assist them in self-awareness and problem-solving strategies.

4. Constructive Feedback

Feedback is crucial for growth, but it must be delivered thoughtfully. Consider these principles:

* Specificity: Instead of stating, “Improve your presentations,” provide specific feedback, such as, “I observed that you spoke rapidly during your last presentation, making it challenging to follow. Practicing a slower pace could improve your communication.”

* Balance: Prioritize their strengths before talking about areas for improvement. For example, “Your enthusiasm is excellent, and incorporating a structured approach will strengthen your message.”

* Growth Focus: Frame feedback as an opportunity rather than criticism. Ask, “How can I support you in working on this?”

* Self-Assessment: Encourage self-reflection by asking, “How do you see your performance in that meeting?”

Effective feedback fosters empowerment rather than discouragement.

5. Setting Clear Goals and Tracking Progress

Mentoring and coaching can lose their effectiveness without a clear direction. To enhance their impact, collaborate on setting SMART goals. These goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. For instance:

* Mentoring Goal: Within the next six months, explore two new career paths by attending industry events and conducting informational interviews.

* Coaching Goal: By the end of next month, deliver a presentation with a structured approach and confident body language during team meetings.

Regularly monitor progress, acknowledge accomplishments, and adjust objectives as necessary. Utilize tools such as journals, checklists, or shared documents to track achievements.

6. Promote Independence

The primary objective of mentoring and coaching is to foster self-sufficiency. To prevent dependency, adopt the following strategies:

* Encourage Decision-Making: Allow mentees to make choices, even if they encounter errors. Provide guidance, but refrain from taking control.

* Teach Skills: Share frameworks or tools that enable independent use, such as time management techniques or conflict-resolution strategies.

* Gradual Reduction in Involvement: As mentees progress, gradually diminish your involvement and encourage them to rely on their own judgment.

Your role should be that of a guide, not a support system.

7. Maintain Patience and Flexibility

Personal growth necessitates time, and individuals learn at their own pace. Be patient with setbacks and adaptable to evolving needs. If a mentee or coachee encounters difficulties, reassess their objectives or adopt a novel approach. Maintain curiosity about their evolving aspirations and challenges.

8. Emulate Continuous Learning

Demonstrate that learning is an enduring journey. Share personal experiences and challenges, and encourage others to do the same. By modeling continuous learning, you inspire them to adopt the same approach.

As a mentor or coach, you serve as a role model. Reflect on your commitment to personal growth by:

* Sharing Learning Experiences: Discuss the courses, books, or experiences that have shaped your development.

* Admitting Mistakes: Recognize that failure is an integral part of learning and how you have derived valuable insights from it.

* Seeking Feedback: Invite their input on your mentoring or coaching style to convey that learning is a reciprocal process.

Your example will inspire them to embrace lifelong learning.

9. Commend Achievements

Acknowledge accomplishments, both big and small. A simple expression of pride in their handling of a challenge or a written note of encouragement can significantly boost their confidence. Celebrating progress maintains their motivation and strengthens your bond.

10. Reflect and Enhance Your Approach

After each session, allocate some time for self-reflection to identify areas for improvement. Consider the following questions:

* Did I prioritize active listening over speaking?

* Were my inquiries effective in eliciting insightful responses?

* How engaged was the individual, and what strategies can I employ to enhance engagement?

Regularly seek feedback from your mentee to refine your skills. Consider joining a mentoring or coaching community to gain insights from others’ experiences.

Final Thoughts

Mentoring and coaching are about empowering individuals to realize their full potential. By establishing trust, asking thoughtful questions, providing constructive feedback, and fostering self-reliance, you can make a lasting impact. Approach the process with patience, humility, and a genuine desire to witness others’ success. This approach not only aids their growth but also enriches your own life.

People Matter and They Need to Know It

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Even though I may have never met you, I know something about you that is irrefutable. What I know is that you have a basic human need to know that you matter. That you are significant to someone. That you make a difference in the world.

I would like to think that I don’t personally have that need. In some ways, it almost feels like a weakness to me. Except I know that deep inside, I do have that need. I also know that it absolutely is NOT a weakness. Having that need is simply proof that I am human.

A long time ago, in a land far far away, (and a heck of a lot cooler) I was celebrating my 10th anniversary for a company that I would go on to work at for a couple more decades. For each milestone anniversary, the company would allow you to select a remembrance gift from a catalog.

On the date of my anniversary, the gift was presented to me by a couple of my bosses. One of them was the Director of Sales. I’d bet a million bucks that he wouldn’t remember this, but he said one short, simple sentence to me that I’ll likely never forget. He said, “Thanks for what you do; you make us all better.”

And there it was. Verification that I helped people. I made a difference. What I did mattered. It was recognized and verbalized by someone I greatly respected.

I had dozens and dozens of cards and letters from people, literally from all over the world. They thanked me for helping them and for the difference I had made in their lives. But somehow, having someone look you in the eye and say it to your face was much more powerful.

If you’re a leader, you absolutely must understand that your people NEED to know they matter. That what they do makes a difference. Making certain they know that, without a doubt, is one of the most vital functions of leadership.

A leader can demonstrate to their people that they matter by taking actions that emphasize respect, recognition, and support. Here’s how:

Active Listening:

• Engage in Conversations: A leader should listen attentively to their team members, valuing their input and ideas. This shows that their opinions are respected and considered.

• Respond Thoughtfully: Acknowledge concerns and provide constructive feedback, demonstrating that their voices are heard and valued.

Recognition and Appreciation:

• Celebrate Achievements: Recognize individual and team accomplishments publicly. This could be through awards, shout-outs in meetings, or personalized notes of appreciation.

• Acknowledge Effort: Even when outcomes aren’t perfect, recognizing the effort and dedication shows that the leader values their commitment.

Empowerment:

• Delegate Meaningful Tasks: Trust team members with responsibilities that challenge them and allow for growth. This signals that the leader believes in their capabilities.

• Provide Opportunities for Development: Support their professional growth through training, mentorship, and opportunities to lead projects, showing that their development is important.

Support and Advocacy:

• Be Accessible: Maintain an open-door policy where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, concerns, or ideas.

• Advocate for Their Needs: Stand up for the team’s needs, whether it’s for resources, time, or recognition, demonstrating that their well-being is a priority.

Foster a Positive Culture:

• Promote Inclusivity: Ensure that everyone feels included, respected, and valued, regardless of their role or background.

• Encourage Work-Life Balance: Respect personal time and promote a culture that values health and well-being, showing that the leader cares about their holistic experience.

Lead by Example:

• Demonstrate Integrity and Empathy: By showing fairness, empathy, and consistency in actions, a leader can reinforce the message that everyone matters.

• Be Transparent: Share relevant information and explain decisions to help team members understand the bigger picture, fostering trust and a sense of belonging.

As a leader, you should consistently exhibit these behaviors. They create an environment where people feel valued, respected, and motivated, reinforcing the idea that they matter.

The key word in that sentence is “consistently.” Helping people understand how and why they matter needs to be a part of what you do every day. You don’t do it in your spare time; you don’t do it when you can find the time. You put it at the top of your daily task list. You don’t allow a day to pass without letting at least one member of your organization know how they made a difference. No excuses!

Developing Future Leaders

Steve Keating 4 Comments

One of the surest ways to “future proof” your organization is to make developing your future leaders a daily activity. Every day! Not when you “find” time, not when you “make” time and not tomorrow. Today and everyday.

If you’re looking at developing future leaders as an expense, even a necessary one, then frankly, you’re looking at it wrong. The development of future leaders is an investment, it’s the one investment that is sure to provide a high rate of return. For your organization, for you, and for your future leaders. 

If you’re serious about creating the next generation of leaders in your organization then here’s a path you may want to consider. 

  1. Identify potential leaders. Not all people are cut out to be leaders, so it’s important to identify those who have the potential to be successful in leadership roles. Some qualities to look for include:
  • Strong communication skills
  • The ability to motivate and inspire others
  • A clear vision for the future
  • The ability to think strategically and make decisions
  • The ability to work well under pressure
  • The ability to build relationships and collaborate with others
  1. Create a leadership development program. Once you’ve identified potential leaders, you need to create a program that will help them develop the skills and knowledge they need to be successful. This program should include a variety of elements, such as:
  • Formal training courses
  • On-the-job training
  • Mentorship programs
  • Networking opportunities
  • Coaching and feedback
  1. Provide opportunities for growth. One of the best ways to develop future leaders is to give them opportunities to grow and develop their skills. This could include:
  • Assigning them to challenging projects
  • Giving them more responsibility
  • Promoting them to new positions
  • Sending them to conferences or training programs
  1. Provide opportunities. There is little point to developing future leaders if you’re not providing them opportunities to truly try out their new skills. Let your future leaders lead today! This could involve leading projects, teams, or even departments. By giving your people the chance to lead now, you can help them develop the skills and experience they need to be successful in future leadership roles.
  1. Provide feedback. Feedback is essential for helping leaders develop and improve. Make sure to provide regular feedback to your future leaders, both positive and negative. This will help them identify their strengths and weaknesses, and make the necessary changes to improve their performance.

This path could lead to the successful development of your future leaders but there is one key element to keep in mind. Make certain your future leaders and being led and not managed. It is vital that they see leadership in action. If the person your future leader is reporting to is a poor leader or a leader due only to their position within the organization, the potential of your future leader is unlikely to be achieved. 

Leaders help create the next generation of leaders. Don’t expect today’s poor leader to develop tomorrow’s Authentic Leader. It doesn’t work that way. When you have your future leaders reporting to today’s excellent leaders you’ll have the chance for excellent leadership in your organization for years to come. 

Leading Reluctant Followers

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Leading people is challenging enough when the people you’re leading want to be led. Leading people who don’t want to be led can be an even bigger challenge, but it’s not impossible. Leading reluctant followers requires that you always keep top of mind why you’re leading. 

If you’re an Authentic Leader that “why” is to make a positive difference in the lives of the people you lead. That Authentic Leadership mindset is all the motivation you’ll need to continue leading, even in the face of tremendous resistance.

Here are some strategies that you can use to authentically lead people who are resistant to leadership.

  1. You MUST truly know the people you lead. Invest the time to get to know the people you are leading. Building a relationship with them can help you understand their motivations and concerns. It will also help establish trust between you and your team.
  1. You are leading by example whether you intend to or not. If you want others to follow your lead, you need to model the behaviors you want to see in them. This means demonstrating a strong work ethic, staying positive, and being committed to the goals of the team.
  1. Communicate, communicate and communicate some more. Be clear about your expectations and the goals you want to achieve. Use clear and concise language. Don’t use waffle words because it is your responsibility to make sure everyone understands and accepts their roles in the organization. 
  1. Be open to honest feedback and listen to the concerns of your team members. Address their concerns and work with them to find solutions that will benefit everyone. As you grow in your leadership role you’ll discover that your people hold within them the solutions to most if not all of your organization’s challenges. But you must be an expert listener if you’re going to hear them.
  1. Give your people real ownership over their work and encourage them to take the initiative. When people feel like they have a say in the direction of the organization, they are more likely to be invested and engaged in its success.
  1. Recognize and celebrate the successes of your team. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in motivating people to continue to do their best work. Recognizing even small successes can lead to bigger results down the road.
  1. Remember that change takes time. Don’t forget that relationship building is a process. It may take a while for people to come around to your leadership style. Be patient and persistent in your efforts.

Leading people who don’t want to be led requires building relationships, leading by example, clear communication, listening to concerns, empowering them, celebrating successes, and being patient. All of those are within your control when you make a decision that says, I’ll Lead Today. 

So, will you make that decision?

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month. 

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success. 

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday 

Leadership Fixers

Steve Keating 3 Comments

As I’ve written almost endlessly not everyone who occupies a position of leadership are actually leading. They are leaders in name, title, or position only. 

One of the characteristics of these types of leaders is they tend to be “fixers.” Instead of giving their people a chance to learn they ‘jump in” and solve every problem for them. While the “leader” may feel better about themselves it does nothing to grow their people. While the “leader” may think they are helping their people they are more than likely demoralizing them. 

Some people will welcome their “leader” doing the heavy lifting for them. So much so they they begin to count on it. When that happens the “leader” becomes an enabler for lack of effort and initiative. The potential for growth is stopped in its tracks. 

Authentic Leaders allow their people to figure things out for themselves. They not only give them the opportunity to learn, they encourage, even insist, that they take advantage of that opportunity. 

The potential for growth is unlimited. Authentic Leaders grow more leaders. Innovation thrives. The culture is collaborative and there are few consequences for mistakes when lessons are taken from them. 

It takes discipline for an Authentic Leader to let their people make mistakes and learn from them. It takes patience to allow their people the time required to figure things out that the leader already knows. 

Authentic Leaders see helping their people learn and grow as an investment. Leaders in name only see those same things as an expense with no ROI. 

So what about you? Are you a fixer? Understand that being a fixer who doesn’t trust their people to figure things out on their own and a well intentioned fixer who thinks they are doing their people a service by solving their problems create the same outcomes. 

Don’t limit your people. Don’t prevent them from growing. Let them figure things out on their own. Even if it takes longer than if you just did it for them. Letting your people learn is not an expense, it quite possibly may be the best investment you’ll ever make. 

Where Authentic Leaders Invest Their Time

Steve Keating 6 Comments

Authentic Leaders know that one of their primary responsibilities is developing future leaders. Leaving behind leaders who can step into their shoes is vital to the long term success of an organization. When you consider any of the “levels of leadership” models all of them require that a leader develop their successor, or a series of successors to achieve the level 5 status. 

Yet many leaders, even some very good leaders, miss that key responsibility. There are many reasons for that. One of the big ones is that they get caught up in the day to day managing of the organization and let their leadership responsibilities fall to the bottom on their priorities. Sometimes they can’t see the leadership candidates in their organizations. That is also a result of being too “busy” to actually lead. 

I remember a conversation several years ago with a Director of Sales for a division of a company. He was leaving his role as Director and moving into a new role within his company. Just before he left his current role he asked me to critique his performance. 

He was a good leader. His people liked him, and more importantly, respected him. He was results driven and he helped his people get better. You’re probably thinking that all sounds good, and it was. But there was one big gap in his leadership. 

So I shared much of the good things about his leadership. Then I shared the gap. As he left his current role there was not one person on his team of a dozen or so people prepared to step into his role. That was a huge failure of his leadership. I knew that most people who asked to be “critiqued” really want to hear that they are doing great. Most aren’t actually looking for constructive criticism, they are looking to hear they have no need for improvement. So he wasn’t exactly happy with my input. But it was 100% accurate. 

I finished up with the rest of what he was doing well as a leader and offered to help him develop leaders in his next role. As disappointed as he may have been with my feedback I’m happy to say he took me up on my offer. 

So where exactly does a leader find future leaders in their organization? In a word, everywhere. 

Many organizations have some sort of talent pool. This is a select group of employees targeted for development. I don’t know much about how that works because I’ve never been in a pool like that. But I do know this…once somebody is in that pool it seems nearly impossible to get them out. Conversely, it appears that once you’re passed over for the opportunity to swim in that pool you’re never getting in. 

And that’s where leaders, sometimes even very good leaders, make their biggest mistake. They assume that the people they need have a certain “look.” They are of a certain demographic. They talk a certain way and dress “the way” a leader dresses. 

Leaders who fall short in developing future leaders don’t realize their entire organization is a talent pool just waiting, hoping, and needing to be developed. When only a small group of “select” people are allowed into that developmental pool many potential leaders are overlooked. 

If the organization is lucky those potential leaders will leave the organization and go on to greatness somewhere else. If the organization is unlucky those potential leaders will allow their potential to be wasted by staying with the organization that doesn’t see their value. They become the disenchanted and disengaged employees who cost organizations limitless amounts of money. 

If you’re a leader and you’re wondering where to invest your time my answer is everywhere. At some point your future leaders will show themselves and you can invest extra time with them. But never stop working to grow ALL your people. Not everyone rises to the top with the same speed. Some people develop faster than others. 

People will surprise you. I’ve seen over and over some of the best swimmers left out of the talent pool because they didn’t “fit” someone’s preconceived notion of what a “winner” or a “leader” looks like. 

As a leader it is your responsibility to make sure that doesn’t happen in your organization. You can delegate the task of developing future leaders to your HR and Training Departments but you can’t delegate the responsibility. 

Remember that and your pool of potential future leaders will get a whole lot bigger. 

Before You Fire That Person

Steve Keating 5 Comments

Being terminated from employment is one of life’s greatest stressors. It’s right up there with death of a loved one and a terrible medical diagnosis. 

Thankfully, I think most people in Leadership Positions understand that and make firing someone a last resort. Unfortunately some do not. But maybe they would if they stopped to think long enough about what firing someone actually means. 

It means in every case a great failure on the part of a leader. There are two and only two reasons that someone is so underperforming in a job that they should be fired. The first reason is that they were hired for a job they weren’t qualified for or they didn’t “fit” with the organization. Either way, they should not have been hired in the first place. That is a failure of leadership. 

The second reason is that they were not given the tools and training to do the job effectively. That is also a failure of leadership. 

That means that if you find yourself needing to fire someone it’s on you, not on them. You can blame them all you want for their poor attitude or the lack of respect for the organization. You can call them stupid. You can call them lazy. You can say whatever you want. 

But one fact remains…you or another leader in your organization hired them. 

So now you’re likely to tell yourself that they weren’t stupid when you hired them. They didn’t have a poor attitude when they started. You rationalize that they were a better employee on their first day. They changed!

So what you’re saying is that you took a perfectly effective individual and put them in an environment where their attitude went to hell? You’re admitting that you took a bright, intelligent and engaged person and transformed them into an idiot? 

Wow, that’s something to be proud of. Or maybe not so much. 

I get that a large percentage of people embellish their qualifications when applying for a job. I understand that they are on their best behavior. I have been “fooled” during an interview process like every other person who hires people has. 

I also understand that there will be times, for several reasons, when separation from the organization is the only path available. 

But…if you are going to have the audacity to call yourself a leader then you had best be willing to stand up and admit your mistakes. If you even want to be thought of as an Authentic Leader then you must be willing to work with that person to help them develop into the very best version of themselves. As a leader it’s your responsibility to motivate to be on their best behavior every day, not only on days when they are interviewing for a job. 

Even if they fooled you into thinking they had a positive attitude when they didn’t, you need to ask yourself if you’re providing an atmosphere where poor attitudes can thrive or is the culture your cultivating within your organization one where positive attitudes are so contagious that negative attitudes can’t survive. 

Accepting a leadership title is very easy to do. Accepting the responsibility for people that goes with it is not easy. Accepting the responsibility for the success of those people is harder still. 

But Authentic Leaders do it anyway. Authentic Leaders know the trauma a termination can cause people. They know it’s effects can be devastating and long lasting. That’s why they hire carefully and work tirelessly to develop the people in their organizations. 

Think about that the next time you become so frustrated with YOUR leadership abilities that your tempted to fire someone because of it. Be certain that termination is truly your last resort and not your first one.