If you’re human and you’re reading this (if you’re not human and you’re reading this, please by any means possible let me know) then sooner or later you will do something that will cause someone to lose trust in you.

As has been said many times, trust takes a long time to build and only seconds to destroy.

But the destruction does not have to be permanent. If you’re willing to make the effort then over time you can rebuild the trust you once had. It’s not easy and it will take time but it can be done. Do not expect the other person, the one who’s trust you lost, to rebuild it. If you’re the trust breaker then you’re 100% responsible for rebuilding it too.

Rebuilding trust is a process. Here are some steps you can take to begin that process today.

Acknowledge the breach. Recognize and take responsibility for the actions or behaviors that led to the loss of trust. This demonstrates honesty and accountability. There can be no “but” in your acknowledgment. No “sorry but.” No, sorry if you’re offended “but” I didn’t mean it. By the way, if you really said something you didn’t mean that’s actually an indication that you’re so careless with your words or actions that you probably shouldn’t have been trusted in the first place. Think about that little tidbit a while.

Apologize sincerely. Offer a genuine apology, expressing remorse for any hurt or harm caused. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for and show empathy towards the other person’s feelings. And this should go without saying, but in case it needs to be said… if it’s not a sincere apology then don’t bother in the first place.

Communicate openly. Encourage open dialogue about the situation. Listen attentively to the other person’s concerns and feelings without becoming defensive. Be transparent about your intentions and actions moving forward. This is another step where there can be no “buts.” You offended someone, you may have even hurt them. When they tell you why they feel the way they feel don’t you dare respond with a “yes but.” That is a clear indication that you likely do not value their feelings.

Set boundaries. Establish clear boundaries and expectations to prevent similar issues from arising in the future. This could include agreeing on specific behaviors or actions that are off-limits. Once the boundaries are set do not cross them… no matter what.

Demonstrate consistency. Consistently follow through on your commitments and promises. Your actions should align with your words to build credibility and reliability. Rebuilding trust is not a part time process. You must honor 100% of your commitments, 100% of the time. Whether you feel like it or not.

Be patient. Rebuilding trust takes time, so be patient and understanding. Allow the other person space to process their feelings and gradually rebuild their trust in you. Remember, it’s wrecking trust that happens fast, rebuilding it will take longer than it took to build it in the first place.

Seek feedback. Regularly check in with the other person to see how they’re feeling about the progress of rebuilding trust. Be open to feedback and willing to make adjustments as needed. You may need to ask a few times to get an answer but the mere asking of the question can help rebuild trust.

Show genuine remorse. Continuously express genuine remorse for the hurt caused and demonstrate your commitment to making amends. Actions often speak louder than words, so be consistent in your efforts to rebuild trust.

Obviously it’s way better not to do or say things that cause someone to lose trust in you to begin with. But we’re human and sometimes we do things we wish we hadn’t. But whether you’re able to rebuild trust with someone or not, simply going through the process will make it less likely that you’ll make the same mistake again.

That’s called improvement and I call that a very good thing.