Tag Choose Your Attitude

How to Maintain a Positive Attitude

Steve Keating 1 Comment

So why the heck am I writing about a positive attitude in a leadership blog? Why am I not staying on topic here and talking about leading people? Why go all Pollyanna and say everything will be better just by staying positive. 

Well here’s why. Because every single aspect of your life WILL IN FACT be better if you CHOOSE to have a positive attitude. Every relationship will be stronger. Every decision will be easier. Every problem will present with it tremendous opportunity. Every bad day will be a little less bad. Every good day will be a little bit better. A positive attitude keeps your mind open. A positive attitude keeps your blood pressure lower. 

A positive attitude changes everything. 

Here’s something else about positive attitudes. Maintaining one day in and day out is a mighty big challenge. We are surrounded by negativity. We hear negativity in the media. It’s downright pervasive on social media. We hear it from colleagues, friends and even family. It’s literally everywhere. 

Yet in the face of all that negativity a choice remains. And that’s the choice of maintaining our own positive attitude. It’s not an easy choice. It’s a choice we must make each and every day because if we don’t make that choice for ourselves someone or something else will make it for us. Nothing is as contagious as someone else’s negative attitude. 

So you must make a conscious choice everyday. A choice that says “for today I will be in charge of my attitude and I will not allow anyone or anything to rob me of that precious life changing choice.”And then you need to fight like hell to make it happen. 

Below are a few ideas to help you in that fight. They help me, but to be honest with you I still lose that fight way too often. But I win it more than most people so I’m claiming victory. I’m hoping this post can share that victory with you. So here we go. 

  • Focus on the things you are grateful for in your life. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects, no matter how small. Keeping a gratitude journal can be helpful, where you write down things you are thankful for each day.
  • Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you. Positive and supportive relationships can have a significant impact on your attitude and outlook. You know the kind of people I’m talking about…those people who annoyingly see the bright side of everything. Let them annoy you a little more often because positive attitudes can be just as contagious as negative ones if you’re exposed often enough. 
  • Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions. When negative thoughts pop up, try to observe them without judgment and replace them with more positive and constructive ones.
  • Instead of dwelling on problems, direct your energy towards finding solutions. This proactive approach can boost your confidence and create a more positive mindset.
  • Identify activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. It could be hobbies, sports, spending time in nature, or creative pursuits. Regularly engaging in such activities can boost your overall mood.
  • Pay attention to the information you consume, whether it’s through the news, social media, or conversations. Limit exposure to negative or toxic content and seek more positive and uplifting sources.
  • Use positive affirmations to reframe your mindset and reinforce a positive attitude. Tell yourself affirming statements about your abilities, worth, and potential. If this sounds hokey to you don’t worry. It’s sounds hokey to me too and I wouldn’t mention it here except for the one small fact that it absolutely works. 
  • Failure is a natural part of life. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or setbacks, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. This perspective can help you maintain a positive attitude even during challenging times. Failure is never final unless you decide to make it so. 
  • Laughter is a powerful tool for lifting your spirits. Find humor in everyday situations, and don’t take yourself too seriously. Share laughs with friends, watch comedy, or engage in activities that make you smile. If you can’t find a single thing to laugh about during the day then do what I do, find a mirror and have yourself a big ol’ laugh. 
  • Acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrate your progress and give yourself credit for your efforts. You’re still trying, you’re still fighting the fight, you’re still on your way to success and I can’t think of anything more positive than that. 

Maintaining a positive attitude is a journey and it will not always be easy. It requires practice, patience, and self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and continue working on building a positive mindset, one step, and one day, at a time.

Want more of LeadToday? I’ve changed things up on my Twitter feed for subscribers. I recently began publishing two or three videos each week focusing on an element of Authentic Leadership. I’ll post these videos each Tuesday and Thursday morning. Sometimes a bonus video pops up at other times during the week. They will be about 10 minutes long so we can get into the topic in a more meaningful way. The investment for subscribers in still only $4.99 a month. That’s for at least 80 MINUTES of quality video content on leadership a month.

If you’re interested in taking a look, head on over to my Twitter profile page. If you’re not a follower yet just hit the follow button. It will change to a subscribe button and once you hit that you’re on your way. You can cancel at any time you’ve decided you have nothing left to learn about leading the people who you count on for your success.

Here’s the link to my Twitter… https://twitter.com/leadtoday

Dealing with Negative Attitudes

Steve Keating 1 Comment

Dealing with negative attitudes can be a bit of a sticky wicket. (To be transparent I don’t know much about wickets. They apparently have something to do with an incredibly popular game that I, as an American, know nothing about) 

One of the things that makes dealing with negative attitudes so challenging is that we can see them in other people…in ourselves, not so much. Step one in dealing with negative attitudes is making sure your attitude is not the source of someone else’s poor attitude. 

Oftentimes that’s easier said than done. I am no different than anyone else in that respect. I’ve found that a hard look in the mirror coupled with a healthy dose of honesty is the best antidote for a negative attitude. “Things” are hardly ever as bad as they seem at first glance. A second, and sometimes third glance can go a long way toward snapping me back to reality. 

Only after we are certain we have positive control over our attitude can work on helping others gain a positive control over their own.

Dealing with other people’s poor attitudes is an even bigger challenge than dealing with our own. It’s important to approach the person with patience, empathy, and care. Here are some ideas that may make it less of a challenge.

  • Stay calm. Don’t let the other person’s poor attitude affect your own behavior. Take a deep breath and try to remain calm and composed. Remember, attitudes are contagious. Make sure yours isn’t infected with negativity while you’re trying to inject positivity into someone else. 
  • Listen, listen some more and then a little more. It’s essential to listen to what the other person is saying and try to understand where they are coming from. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share what the heck is going on that’s causing them to lose control of their attitude.
  • Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective. This can help you understand how they got to where they are. Never dismiss their feelings or perspective. Their perspective is likely different from yours because it comes from their life experiences. If you had the identical life experiences you’d likely have the exact same perspective too.
  • Speak in a calm and assertive tone, using “I” statements to express your own feelings and concerns. Never ever “blame” the other person for their feelings. Don’t tell them they are wrong to feel the way they feel. Negative attitudes are born from emotions. Trying to use logic, at least what you think is logic, to overcome emotions is a losing proposition.
  • Set boundaries and limitations. If the other person’s poor attitude is causing you undue stress or anxiety, it’s okay to set boundaries. Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate in terms of behavior. The flight attendants on a plane tell you to “put your own oxygen mask on first” because if you pass out from lack of oxygen you won’t be able to help anyone. It’s the same with attitudes. If someone is sucking the positive oxygen out of your life then you need to put your positive mask on and separate yourself from that person. You can try again another time but you need to refill your positivity tank before making another attempt.
  • Know your own capabilities. It’s likely you’re not Superman or Superwoman. Sometimes another person may need more help than you are able to provide. If you think another person’s negative attitude goes beyond a bad day at work or a dispute at home then you may need to encourage them to seek outside help. This is particularly true if the other person’s negative attitude is prolonged and persistent. It could be a lot more serious than they are letting on.

Remember, dealing with other people’s poor attitudes can be difficult. It’s important to approach the situation with care and respect. By remaining calm, listening actively, and communicating assertively, you can help someone else “catch” your positive attitude and turn their crummy day into something terrific.

What Else Could Go Right?

Steve Keating 4 Comments

I recommend to writers that they NOT begin a post or an article with a disclaimer. This is going to be another example of a post where I do not follow my own advice because this is a post that is going to, has to, begin with a disclaimer.

Because this is a post about maintaining a positive attitude. That’s something I struggle with. I know it’s importance but I too often allow my choice of a positive attitude to be overwhelmed by the circumstances I find myself in. That’s not good for me and it’s not good for the people around me.

I want to offer that disclaimer as a way of not appearing as a total fraud to those who know me best. The fact that I can’t always maintain control over my attitude is no reason not to try. The same goes for you. So here we go!

You’ve probably heard or said yourself, “what else could go wrong.” It’s most often said in a very dejected tone of voice when problems just continue to pile up. It sometimes seems as if everything that could could go wrong already has. That’s when we start looking for things that are wrong.

That makes it very difficult to choose a positive attitude. Yes, your attitude is your choice and no one and nothing can rob you of that choice. But here’s the thing, to maintain a positive attitude you MUST make that choice. If you don’t consciously make the choice of a positive attitude then the choice of a negative attitude will be made for you by whatever circumstances you find yourself in.

We do not subconsciously choose a positive attitude. That choice must be made consciously and it must be made frequently. Failure to make that choice leads to a negative attitude, whether you realize it or not.

Researchers say the average person has 40,000 thoughts a day. I don’t know how they can figure that out but here’s what really concerns me. They also say that of those 40,000 thoughts over 80% of them are negative. That’s a whole lot of negativity going on in our heads and it won’t be overcome without intentionally fighting to overcome it.

So how about this. How about when “things” start going bad instead of asking “what else could go wrong?” we start asking, “what else could go right?”

How about we start looking for the good. The good in a particular situation or the good in a particularly difficult person. No matter the circumstances something good is never that far away. You only have to make yourself look!

Now if that sounds all Pollyanna to some of you especially negative people reading this then I have a message for you.

You can easily find something wrong with very little effort. If you want to find something right it can take a little more effort but something right is there. And this much I can promise you from my personal experience… on the days you successfully choose a positive attitude everything and everyone around you seems, looks, acts and is in fact, better.

Every aspect of your life is affected by your attitude. Either you control it or it will control you. That’s a scary thought for some people but it’s a fact and it’s also a fact that the choice is yours.

 

Attitude and Effort

Steve Keating 12 Comments

Many years ago I received some exceptional advice from a mentor that has stayed with me to this day. He told me to stop trying to control things I couldn’t control. His recommendation was that I focus 100% of my attention on the things within my control. He also said to “block out” the uncontrollable things from my field of view because they were nothing more than distractions. 

 

Through the years as I’ve considered his advice I’ve discovered there are far fewer controllable parts of my life than there are uncontrollable. I can influence what other people think of me but I can’t control their thoughts. I can try to influence their actions but people will eventually do whatever they think is best for them. The list of stuff I can’t control could go on forever. 

 

But that’s okay because through the years I’ve also discovered that I can control, completely, two areas of my life which have the greatest impact on my success and happiness. 

 

Those areas are attitude and effort. 

 

In his timeless book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl describes the “last of the human freedoms.” He says that last freedom, a freedom that can be taken from no one, is the choice of one’s own attitude. Every human on earth is free, regardless of their circumstances, to choose their own attitude. No one and nothing can take that freedom away from you. 

 

Before you say “well Viktor Frankl never worked where I work. He never experienced how tough my life is. He just doesn’t know,” before you say any of that you should know that Viktor Frankl is a surviver of Nazi Concentration Camps. He knows.

 

He would tell you that his choice of a positive attitude was literally life saving. 

 

I can only imagine, actually I can’t even imagine, how tough a fight it must have been each day for him to choose a positive attitude. But he fought the fight and won. 

 

The choice of a positive attitude is a big fight for me even in my relatively cushy world. I lose that fight too often but this much I’m certain of: every single part of my life is better on the days I win that fight. 

 

The question for you is will you consciously engage in that fight or will you allow other people and things to make the choice of your attitude for you? 

 

When it comes to making an effort I realized early on that there was a direct correlation between the level of effort I put into something and the results I received from that effort. When I really want something I remember the words of the immortal Yoda who said, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” 

 

You alone control the level of effort you’re willing to put into any endeavor. You can allow obstacles to stop you or you can learn from them and use them as launching pads to your next level of success. You can make excuses or you can make progress. It’s hard to do both. 

 

As Babe Ruth said, “It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” If you allow yourself to be beaten you can be assured there is someone close by willing to put in the effort to do just that…beat you. 


If you adopt Yoda’s thinking then you won’t try to succeed you’ll do it.