Who Are You?

Are you who you think you are? Are you who other people think you are? Are you basically the compilation of the five people you spend the most time with?

The answer to all of those questions is yes….sort of. I say “sort of” because you’re likely not exactly who you think you are. You’re also almost certainly not who other people think you are although they might be closer to the real you than you want to admit.

You are definitely influenced by the handful of people you spend the majority of your time with. You likely think and act a lot like them. You believe much the same as they do and you’re most comfortable being “real” when you’re with them.

So the better question is are you who you want to be?

Think of the people you know well that you respect and admire the most. These are not people you read about in the news or see in the movies. These are people you actually know. You know their good side and their not so good side. What are the qualities and characteristics they possess that cause you to admire them?

Think hard, invest some time in this. What is it really that sets them apart from the crowd?

How close are you to possessing these same qualities and characteristics. Notice there is no question mark at the end of that sentence. That’s because it’s not a question for you. It’s a question that you should be asking other people. It’s a question that you should be asking, on a regular basis, your coach or mentor.

The reason I’m not suggesting that you ask yourself is that if you’re like most people you won’t be completely honest with yourself. You’ll cut yourself too much slack and provide yourself with excuses you wouldn’t give anyone else. That’s nice to do for yourself but it isn’t helpful if your goal is to better yourself.

Once you have some sincere and honest input from people who know you well then you can decide if the you they see is the you that you want to be. There are a lot of “yous” in that sentence but this post is after all about you.

You’ll likely hear about a few shortcomings but that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect, not even the people you admire the most. You have to decide if the good qualities and characteristics you possess outweigh those shortcomings. If you have a weakness that you think is holding you back then you know what to work on.

I’m okay with being imperfect. I’m okay with not being liked by everyone. I’m okay with not being understood by everyone. I’m even okay with some people thinking I’m downright stupid.

Sometimes I disappoint people, sometimes I disappoint myself. I could make a pretty strong case that if you’re never disappointed with yourself, either with something you’ve said or done, then you’ve set your expectations for yourself way too low.

But that doesn’t make you a bad person and it certainly doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. And you are everything that comes with that, good and bad. That is who you really are!

What Are You Worried About?

It seems as if no matter where you live in the world there are plenty of things to worry about. I suppose many of those things are worth worrying about. Many of the things we worry about however are not worth the worry and stress we put into them. 

 

One of the things that many people worry about that they shouldn’t is other people’s opinion of them. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who’s opinion matters to me… a lot. There’s just not very many of them. Not very many at all. 

 

Popeye said “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.” I’m like Popeye, (except for the spinach part) I am what I am. I’m pretty comfortable with that. I’m also comfortable with the fact that there are  people who won’t like that. That’s their concern not mine. 

 

If you’re like me there are lots of areas of your life you could improve. You could be a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, a better leader. Those are areas where change is required in order for improvement to take place. But I won’t change my beliefs or sacrifice my principles to try and be something or someone that more people might like. I’d gladly accept the respect of a handful of people over the “likes” of a roomful. 

 

You can’t control other people’s opinions of you without giving up at least part of what makes you the person you are. So don’t waste time trying. Simply be the very best version of you that you can be. 

 

I do not believe it’s possible to experience true success when you’re trying to be what other people want you to be. Get used to the fact that there will be people who do not like the genuine version of you. It is far far far more important that YOU like the genuine version of you. If you’re okay with you then the people who are supposed to matter in your life will be okay with you too. 

 

Stress and worry will creep into your life, there is just too much happening today to block worry completely out of your life. But do not fuel your worry fire by adding the opinions of people who don’t know you, don’t really care about you and don’t respect you to the gas can. 


I’ve always liked the Bobby McFerrin song “Don’t Worry be Happy” but if you really want to be happy just be you!