Tag Being Trustworthy

How To Know if Someone Trusts You

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Have you ever had the feeling that someone didn’t trust you? Since you’ve never done anything to cause them not to trust you it can be baffling as to why they wouldn’t. But many people don’t trust automatically. They wait to see if someone is trustworthy.

So instead of asking yourself what you might have done to lose a person’s trust a better question might be, what have you done to earn it. What actions have you specifically, intentionally taken to prove your trustworthiness to the people around you? That’s an important question in business but even more important in life.

Determining if someone trusts you can be a nuanced process, as trust is a complex and subjective aspect of human relationships. It’s important to remember that trust is not always explicitly expressed. It may manifest differently in different individuals and contexts. However, there are several common indicators that can help you gauge if someone trusts you.

  • Trust is often built on open, honest, and transparent communication. If someone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you,  without fear of judgment, it’s a positive sign that they trust you.
  • When someone trusts you, they believe you will follow through on your commitments and promises. If they consistently rely on you for support, assistance, or collaboration, it suggests a level of trust in your abilities and character.
  • Trust often involves a degree of emotional vulnerability. If someone is willing to be vulnerable around you, share their insecurities, and show their true selves, it’s a strong indicator of trust.
  • Trust is also built on consistency. If your actions and behavior are consistent over time, people are more likely to trust you. Inconsistencies or unpredictability can erode trust.
  • If someone shares sensitive information with you and you respect their confidentiality by not disclosing it to others, they are more likely to trust you with future confidences.
  • When people trust your judgment, they may seek your advice or opinion on important matters. They value your input and believe that you have their best interests at heart.
  • Trust often involves emotional support. If someone turns to you for support during difficult times and you offer empathy, it indicates they trust you to provide comfort and help.
  • Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as body language and tone of voice. Someone who trusts you is likely to exhibit relaxed and open body language. They maintain eye contact, and have a warm and friendly tone when communicating.
  • When trust is present, both parties can provide constructive feedback without fearing a negative reaction. If someone is comfortable giving you feedback or is receptive to your feedback, it suggests a level of trust in the relationship.
  • Engaging in shared experiences, both positive and challenging, can deepen trust. These experiences create bonds and demonstrate that you can navigate difficult situations together.

It’s important to note that trust is not always binary; it can exist on a spectrum. Additionally, trust can be fragile and may take time to develop but can be easily damaged or lost. Building and maintaining trust in relationships require ongoing effort, consistency, and respect for each other. 

If you’re unsure about someone’s level of trust in you don’t sit and wonder. Consider having an open and honest conversation to clarify and strengthen the relationship. That demonstrates an even greater level of trust.

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Earning Trust – Part Two

Steve Keating 3 Comments

It’s not only an advantage to have the trust of those you would lead, it is essential. But trust doesn’t happen by itself. Trust is built over time and that time frame can be shortened if you take specific, intentional actions to build it.

I’m about to write about actions you’re already aware of. But awareness is not enough. Most people simply do not invest the time to intentionally build trust. They hope it will happen over time. It might. But hope alone isn’t a good strategy for anything. So while you refresh your memory with these suggestions ask yourself if you’re DOING these things or if they sit comfortably in the back of your mind.

First up is this…honor your commitments. I believe that when people commit to do something they intend to do it. The problem for most people, myself included, is that they hate to say no. So they say yes to more than they can do. That causes you to either not honor the commitment or to honor it in such a way that it’s almost as bad as not doing it at all. If your goal is to build trust then promise less and do more.

It is not an overstatement to say miscommunication has started wars. World War I began in part with a failure to communicate. Effective communication is critical to building trust. Never assume, if you’re not certain what was said or what was meant then ask.

Some communication will de difficult. No one, well almost no one, likes dealing with conflicts. But the most trustworthy people won’t dodge a conflict and the challenging communication that often results. They have the conversation that needs to happen and they have it in a caring compassionate way. They choose their words carefully and when they have to choose between telling the truth and offending someone they choose the truth.

Another way to build trust is to be helpful. Extend kindness to everyone you meet. The concept of “helpful kindness” means that you’ll be helpful to others with no expectation of receiving anything in return.

Some people may question the motives for your kindness but in time they will come to see that you’re doing what you’re doing only because it’s the right thing to do.

Lastly, always do the right thing. If you’re not certain what the right thing to do is then ask someone who you trust. But I’m willing to bet you know the right thing to do. You almost certainly know what’s wrong to do so not doing that increases the odds of doing the right thing immeasurably.

Even if what you do turns out to be the wrong thing when people know that your actions were guided by your values you’ll trusted more than someone who only acts in their own self interests.

You knew about all these trust building actions before you read this post. Now that you’ve been reminded of them the next step is to use them. If you want to build trust you will. If you choose not to use them then one can only assume that you don’t place much value on being trustworthy.

So what’s it going to be?