Tag Authenticity

How to Be You

Steve Keating 2 Comments

There are a whole bunch of people in the world who are a lot more tired than they need to be. That’s because they aren’t just being one person, they are trying, in many cases, to be multiple people. At work they are a person who tries to present a professional image. At church they are a God fearing believer. In their social life they are a carefree fun loving life of the party person. With their kids they are the loving authoritarian. They are so many different people in the same day it’s no wonder they are so tired.

They are also often confused because when you switch between all those personas, it’s easy to lose track of which one to be at any moment. It’s tough work being who you think other people want you to be. Or who you think you’re supposed to be.

Life is a whole lot easier and a whole lot less stressful when you find the courage to just be you. You’re authentic self, 100% of the time.

Being authentic means being true to yourself and living in alignment with your values, beliefs, and personality. It means being real and honest in your actions, words, and interactions. You don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or bow to society’s expectations or pressures.

Being authentic means being self-aware. It also means self-acceptance and the courage to express yourself honestly. This may mean being vulnerable or facing criticism. It’s about embracing your uniqueness. And, owning your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment. Being authentic lets you live a more fulfilling life. It fosters deeper connections with others. It also promotes inner peace and contentment.

Being authentic may not get you the most friends but it will positively get you the right ones.

Being your authentic self involves a journey of self-discovery and self-expression. Here are some steps to help you along the way.

Self-Reflection. Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and interests. Ask yourself what truly matters to you and what makes you happy. It is amazing how many people have NEVER invested the time required to truly know themselves. Don’t wait another day to figure yourself out. Journaling or meditation can be helpful tools for this.

Self-Acceptance. Embrace all aspects of yourself, including your strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and imperfections. Accept that you are unique and that it’s okay to be different from others.

Set Boundaries. Establish healthy boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Learn to say no to things that don’t fit your values or goals. Instead, prioritize activities and relationships that fulfill you.

Authentic Communication. Practice expressing yourself honestly and openly, both verbally and non-verbally. Share your thoughts, feelings, and opinions authentically, without fear of judgment or rejection.

Follow Your Passions. Pursue activities and interests that ignite your passion and bring you joy. It could be a hobby, creative project, or career. Following your passions lets you fully engage with life and be yourself.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People. Surround yourself with people who accept you and encourage you to be yourself. Build close relationships with friends, family, and mentors. They should support your personal growth and authenticity.

Embrace Vulnerability. Be willing to be vulnerable and share your true self with others. Vulnerability fosters deeper connections and allows others to see the real you

Continuous Growth. Being yourself is a process. It’s ongoing and about self-discovery. Stay open to new experiences, challenges, and opportunities for personal development.

Celebrate Your Authenticity. Celebrate your unique qualities, talents, and contributions to the world. Embrace who you are wholeheartedly and take pride in living authentically.

Never forget, someone else’s opinion of you is their problem, not yours. Living an authentic life is one of the most “freeing” things you will ever do. YOU were made the way you are for a purpose, find that purpose, live it, and your authenticity is assured.

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Living According to Your Core Values

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Many people struggle with setting meaningful goals for their life. Many of those same people find it difficult to make decisions, especially big, life altering decisions. A good number of those same people have relationship issues throughout their lives. They can’t quite seem to find their “match.”

All of those challenges have one underlying cause. That cause is Core Values.

Just to be clear, it is not a lack of Core Values. It is a lack of understanding exactly what their Core Values are. I believe everyone has Core Values, those values that are life defining. Values that are worth fighting for. Even values that are worth dying for.

But through the years I’ve come to realize that most people, perhaps even the vast majority of people, have invested scant time thinking and reflecting on what their Core Values actually are. Those Core Values are buried deep within them but not so deep that they don’t impact their thinking. Their ever present Core Values inform their thinking but they do so subconsciously.

When people know and understand their Core Values they bring them to the surface. Once surfaced their Core Values help them make better and bigger decisions. They inform them as to what goals truly matter long term. Their Core Values help them find and keep a person who will be their partner for the rest of their lives.

Core Values are a very big deal. They are an even bigger deal once you’ve determined your Core Values and decide to consciously live your life accordingly.

Determining your Core Values involves reflecting on what matters most to you in life. Start by considering experiences, beliefs, and principles that have consistently guided your decisions and actions. Ask yourself probing questions about what brings you fulfillment, what you stand for, and what you couldn’t live without. Write down a list of potential values, then narrow it down to the ones that resonate with you the most deeply. Your Core Values should reflect your authentic self and serve as a compass for making choices aligned with your true priorities.

Core Values vary from person to person, but some common examples include:

1. Integrity: Being honest, trustworthy, and acting with moral principles.

2. Respect: Treating others with dignity, empathy, and understanding.

3. Responsibility: Taking ownership of one’s actions and obligations.

4. Excellence: Striving for the highest quality and continuous improvement.

5. Compassion: Showing kindness, empathy, and care towards others.

6. Courage: Facing challenges with bravery and perseverance.

7. Equality: Believing in fairness and justice for all individuals.

8. Gratitude: Appreciating the blessings and expressing thankfulness.

9. Authenticity: Being true to oneself and living with transparency.

10. Collaboration: Working together and valuing teamwork and cooperation.

These are just a few examples, and individuals may prioritize different values based on their personal experiences, beliefs, and aspirations.

Actually living according to your Core Values involves aligning your actions, decisions, and behaviors with the principles that matter most to you. Here’s how you can do it.

Identify your core values. Reflect on what truly matters to you and define your core values. Write them down to have a clear understanding of what they are.

Integrate values into decision-making. When faced with choices or dilemmas, consider how each option aligns with your core values. Choose the path that resonates with your principles, even if it’s challenging.

Set goals aligned with your values. Define short-term and long-term goals that reflect your core values. This ensures that your actions are directed towards what you find meaningful and fulfilling.

Practice self-awareness. Regularly evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions to ensure they are consistent with your values. Adjust your behavior if you notice any discrepancies.

Communicate your values. Be open about your core values with others, including friends, family, and colleagues. This helps create authentic connections and fosters mutual understanding.

Stay true to yourself. Resist the temptation to compromise your values for external approval or short-term gains. Stand firm in your beliefs, even in the face of adversity.

Learn and grow. Continuously seek opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement that are in line with your core values. Embrace challenges as opportunities to strengthen your commitment to what matters most to you.

By consciously integrating your Core Values into your daily life, you can lead a more authentic, purposeful, and fulfilling existence. You will make better decisions, choose better friends, and set meaningful goals that motivate you to achieve your full potential. In short, you’ll live your very best life and you’ll know exactly how, and why you’re doing it.

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Consider buying my next Diet Coke(s)
Yes, I know it’s not the healthiest beverage but I kind of sort of live on the stuff… and the stuff is getting as expensive as gold. 😋
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100 Days of Mask Wearing

Steve Keating 1 Comment

If you’re looking for a political fight over whether people should be wearing masks during a pandemic you’ve come to the wrong place. The title of this post is pure clickbait cause I’m not writing about that kind of mask. 

I’m writing about the masks that many people wear everyday. Even people who would say “no one can make me wear a mask” frequently wear masks. 

It’s the masks they wear when pretending to be someone or something they are not. They wear them for a lot longer than 100 days too. They wear them for many reasons. Some don’t particularly like who they really are. Some want to impress people who they believe won’t accept them as they are. Some people seem to be afraid to let others know the person they actually are. The list of reasons could go on and on. 

I gave up on wearing the kind of mask that hides who I am a long time ago. I adopted the thinking of the great American philosopher Popeye. He was very comfortable with who he was and frequently said, “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.” 

Me too.

Some people don’t like who I am. That’s fantastic! I’ve not invested a single minute trying to fool people into liking me so at least they don’t like me for who I really am. Image making all that effort to wear a mask only to discover people don’t like the person you’re pretending to be. What a waste! I am what I am and that’s all that I am. If people like who and what I am then that’s fantastic too. 

Either way I’m not putting on a mask to try to get more people to like me. Wearing that kind of mask is a lot of work and it’s not particularly effective. People are gonna figure you out sooner or later anyway. You might as well make it easier by showing them the real you. 

I’m more than certain the people who are supposed to be in your life will be in your life. I’m also very sure that you’ll have a more enjoyable life living the life of the person you really are. It’s also likely that wearing a mask to hide the real you won’t make more people like you, it will just make different people like you. But if your mask falls off those people will quickly fall away.

If you need to wear a mask to get somebody to think better of you then you don’t need them thinking of you at all. You also shouldn’t care what they think in the first place.

Be you! Be the best you that you can possibly be. Be “all that you are” all of the time because it’s that authenticity that will ultimately make you a person to be admired. 

And you don’t need a mask for that!