Tag Attitude

How to Stop Making Excuses

Steve Keating 1 Comment

It has been said that a person who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else. Make no mistake about this absolute fact… making excuses is habit-forming. Making excuses is demoralizing, for the excuse maker and the people who have to listen to them. Excuse-making limits a person’s potential.

It’s just not good to make excuses. Ever!

Before we look at how to stop making excuses, let’s make sure we are all on the same page about exactly what an excuse sounds like.

Let’s say you have two employees who show up to a meeting late. The first one says, “sorry I’m late; the traffic was terrible. There was nothing I could do.” THAT’S AN EXCUSE. It indicates that the employee accepts no responsibility for being late. It indicates that the employee is likely to be late again. It shows a lack of respect for those who may have had to wait on him. It’s not an attitude that aligns well with success.

The second employee arrives a bit later. They are profusely apologetic. Embarrassed even. They also say the traffic was terrible. They say that they failed to consider potential traffic problems and did not leave home early enough. They commit to not making that mistake again. THAT IS A REASON. It indicates that the employee accepts full responsibility for being late. It indicates that the employee is unlikely to be late again. It demonstrates an understanding that they may have caused an inconvenience for others. It shows an attitude in excellent alignment with success.

There are indeed reasons why things don’t always go according to plan. Understanding those reasons helps you avoid them in the future. You maintain power over your circumstances rather than allowing circumstances to control you.

Excuses indicate a lack of control over your circumstances. Repeatedly making excuses puts you right on the edge of permanent victimhood. You lose the opportunity to control your circumstances and allow them to dictate the quality of your career and even your life.

If you’re currently an excuse maker, I have good news: you can break that habit with better choices and stronger effort.

You’ll need a mindset shift and a conscious, continuous effort to take responsibility for your actions and choices. If you’re interested in eliminating excuses from your life, here are some practical steps to help you do just that.

1. Acknowledge the Excuse Habit

• Self-awareness is key. Pay attention to when and why you make excuses. Is it due to fear, a lack of motivation, or the desire to avoid discomfort? Identifying patterns will help you address them more effectively.

2. Take Responsibility

• Own your choices and circumstances. Instead of blaming external factors or people, acknowledge that you’re in control of your actions. This helps shift the mindset from victimhood to empowerment.

3. Change Your Self-talk

• The language you use internally affects how you approach challenges. Replace phrases like “I can’t” or “I don’t have time” with more empowering statements like “I will make time” or “I’ll find a way to overcome this.”

4. Set Clear, Achievable Goals

• Excuses often arise when goals are vague or unrealistic. Break your larger goals into smaller, actionable steps. Clear, realistic goals give you direction and make it harder to justify excuses.

5. Plan and Prioritize

• Poor planning can lead to excuses. Develop a daily or weekly schedule, prioritize tasks, and stick to it. When you’re organized, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed and make excuses to avoid tasks.

6. Hold Yourself Accountable

• Accountability is crucial. Share your goals with someone you trust, or track your own progress with a journal or app. When you’re accountable, there’s less room for excuses.

7. Embrace Discomfort

• Growth often requires stepping out of your comfort zone. Accept that discomfort is part of the process. Instead of avoiding challenges or blaming circumstances, lean into them knowing they’ll make you stronger.

8. Face Your Fears

• Excuses often mask fear—fear of failure, rejection, or even success. Recognize your fears and confront them head-on. Once you understand what you’re afraid of, you can take steps to move past it.

9. Develop a “Problem-Solving” Mindset

• Shift from focusing on the problem to finding solutions. When you encounter obstacles, instead of making excuses, ask yourself, “How can I overcome this?” This proactive mindset minimizes the tendency to rationalize inaction.

10. Surround Yourself with Motivated People

• Your environment influences your behavior. Spend time with people who hold themselves accountable and are goal-driven. Their discipline and attitude will inspire you to take ownership of your actions too.

11. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

• Expecting perfection can lead to frustration and excuses when things don’t go as planned. Celebrate your efforts and progress, even if they’re small. This positive reinforcement keeps you motivated and reduces the need for excuses.

12. Forgive Yourself and Move Forward

• If you fall into the trap of making excuses, don’t dwell on it. Forgive yourself and use the experience as a learning opportunity. Refocus on your goals and take the next best step forward.

You, like every other person on the planet, have incredible potential. Every time you make an excuse, you limit that potential. Don’t do that to yourself. Start taking control of your goals, actions, and attitude, and you’ll stop limiting your success.

You can do it; the question is… will you?

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Motivating Yourself When You’re Not Particularly Motivated

Steve Keating Leave a comment

Sometimes I feel like doing nothing. I’m pretty good at it too. And to be clear, sometimes doing nothing is the most productive thing I can do. From time to time, we should all do nothing. As humans, we need time to recharge, reflect, and reinvigorate. It helps us be more productive when we decide to do something.

There are also times when we must get something done when nothing is what we would prefer to do. It is in those times that we must find a way to motivate ourselves.

It can be tough to motivate yourself when you’re not feeling it. But there are some things you can try to boost your enthusiasm and motivation. Let’s take a look at those below.

1. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps

⁃ Large tasks can feel overwhelming, leading to procrastination. Break them into smaller, manageable steps and focus on completing one at a time. Progress, no matter how small, can build momentum.

2. Set Clear, Achievable Goals

⁃ Define specific goals for what you want to accomplish. Vague goals can make tasks feel pointless, while clear objectives help you stay focused and provide a sense of direction.

3. Use the “5-Minute Rule”

⁃ Commit to working on something for just 5 minutes. Often, the hardest part is starting, and once you’re in the flow, you’re more likely to continue.

4. Reward Yourself

⁃ Set up small rewards for completing tasks. This could be something as simple as taking a short break, enjoying a snack, or doing something you enjoy. This helps create positive associations with progress.

5. Change Your Environment

⁃ Sometimes a change in environment can stimulate motivation. Whether it’s working from a different room or going to a café, a new setting can refresh your mind and improve focus.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

⁃ Don’t be too hard on yourself when you’re not feeling motivated. Motivation fluctuates, and it’s okay to have down moments. Be kind to yourself and remember that you can always try again tomorrow. Just make sure there aren’t too many “tomorrows” in a row.

7. Remember Your “Why”

⁃ Reconnect with the reason you started. Reminding yourself of the long-term benefits (or the bigger picture) behind your efforts can reignite your motivation.

8. Limit Distractions

⁃ Identify what typically distracts you and try to minimize it. Whether it’s turning off notifications on your phone or setting boundaries with people around you. Creating a focused environment can help you stay on track.

9. Visualize Success

⁃ Picture yourself having completed the task or achieved your goal. Visualizing success can inspire confidence and make the end result feel more attainable.

10. Stay Consistent

⁃ Motivation isn’t always there, but consistency is key. Develop a habit of showing up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it. Over time, the habit itself will carry you through periods of low motivation.

Each of these ideas can help you get your butt off the couch and turn a lazy day into a productive one. Even when nothing seems like a perfectly fine thing to do.

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How to Lift Your Spirits

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I think everyone feels a little blue from time to time. Some people simply hide it better than others. There are lots of reasons why that happens and all of them are associated with this thing we call life.

Most of the time, we get past the blues without taking any specific action. Something good happens, and we snap out of it. But sometimes, the blues hang around a little longer than they should. Long enough in fact, that they start to cause us problems.

Problems with our attitudes. Problems with our productivity and creativity. We might procrastinate more than normal. We might even start to have relationship issues.

If any of those things are happening to you, then it may be time to proactively pull yourself back towards your peak performance. Here’s a handful of suggestions to make that happen.

1. Physical Activity: Exercise isn’t just good for your body; it’s a proven mood booster. Go for a run, lift some weights, or even dance like nobody’s watching. Endorphins are your friends, so do something, anything to get yourself moving. Sitting on the couch just ain’t gonna get it done.

2. Sunlight: Get some natural light. It helps regulate your serotonin levels, which can significantly improve your mood. Even if it’s cloudy, just being outside can help.

3. Connect with Others: Humans are social creatures. Call a friend, have a real conversation, or, better yet, meet up if you can. Social interaction can be incredibly uplifting.

4. Gratitude Practice: This might sound cliché, but writing down three things you’re grateful for each day can shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s already there. This is a bigger deal than you may think. An “attitude of gratitude” can “fix” a whole lot of problems in your life; in fact, it can eliminate them altogether.

5. Limit News and Social Media: Sometimes, the world’s chaos can seep into your psyche. Take breaks from news cycles and the endless scroll of social media. Despite what you may see, hear, and read, the world isn’t ending today. I know that for a fact because it’s already tomorrow in Australia, so the rest of us “non-Aussies” have at least one more day. Let’s all make the most of it.

6. Creative Expression: Whether it’s drawing, writing, music, or any form of art, creating something can be therapeutic. It doesn’t have to be good; it just has to be done.

7. Set Small Goals: Achieving something, no matter how small, can give you a sense of accomplishment. Clean your room, cook a meal, or finish a chapter of a book. A surprisingly simple way to get your day off to a great start is to make your bed. Yep, start your day by making your bed and you’ve accomplished something before you even left the house.

8. Help Someone Else: Sometimes, lifting others can lift you. Volunteer, help a neighbor, or just do something kind for someone else. If you really want to boost your mood, do that something kind for someone else without them finding out it was you who did it. That’s harder than you think because we all like credit for doing something good. But it makes a huge difference for you if you just did it because it was the right thing to do.

These 8 suggestions are easy to do and they work. But here’s the thing, they are short-term solutions. If you find yourself constantly down in the dumps, that is not a good thing. It may be considerably more serious and if that’s the case, these ideas are much less likely to help. It’s entirely possible that you would benefit from professional help. If you’re really struggling, there’s no shame in seeking professional help. No shame at all, NONE. I’d even say it’s an incredibly courageous thing to do. Therapists are trained to help you navigate through tough times; it’s silly not to use their expertise when they are available to help you.

Remember, it’s okay to not be okay; it’s a sure sign you’re human. But it’s also okay to take active steps to feel better. Life’s a bit like a roller coaster; sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, but with any luck, the ride’s not over yet.

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How to Always Do the Next Right Thing

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I’ve been truly blessed with incredibly wise mentors throughout my life. These are people who cared enough about me to be honest. They were skilled enough communicators to deliver challenging coaching to me in a way I could accept it. They were smart enough to not ever attempt to make a decision for me. They provided all the pluses and minuses of a given decision and then stepped back to allow me to decide.

One of the best pieces of advice came from perhaps the best salesperson who ever lived. I mean that literally. His name was Tom. He sold billions of dollars’ worth of his product throughout his career to always delighted clients. I was at a point in my own career where I was feeling a little “stuck.” I wasn’t sure what I should do, so I went to Tom and asked him what he thought.

He said he couldn’t tell me specifically what to do, but in his opinion, I should do the next right thing. I had received some “interesting” coaching from Tom in the past, but this particular information seemed more “interesting” than ever. I replied to Tom that if I knew what the next right thing to do was, I wouldn’t be stuck. I also wouldn’t be asking him for advice.

He was undaunted. He said that somewhere within me I knew what the next right thing was. He said if I didn’t know, I had all the skills and knowledge needed to figure it out on my own. It was frustrating advice, but as he helped me work through my thought process, it became clear that as usual, he was correct.

He simply reminded me what I knew and where I wanted to go in life. He reviewed my Core Values with me and assured me that “the next right thing” would be found in those values and in my goals.

Determining the next right thing to do is a continual process that involves a combination of self-awareness, goal-setting, and review, prioritization, and reflection. Here’s a step-by-step guide that Tom shared with me to help me navigate this process.

1. Define or Review Your Goals

• Set Specific Goals: Break down your overarching goal into smaller, manageable tasks.

• Time-bound: Assign deadlines to each task to create a sense of urgency and structure.

2. Assess Your Current Situation

• Self-Assessment: Evaluate where you currently stand in relation to your goals.

• Identify Obstacles: Recognize any challenges or barriers that may impede your progress.

3. Prioritize Tasks

• Urgency vs. Importance: Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix to categorize tasks based on their urgency and importance.

• High-Impact Activities: Focus on tasks that will have the most significant impact on your progress.

4. Break Down Tasks

• Small Steps: Divide larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.

• Actionable Items: Ensure each step is actionable and can be accomplished in a reasonable timeframe.

5. Stay Organized

• Planning Tools: Use planners, calendars, or project management tools to keep track of your tasks and deadlines.

• Daily Review: Review your plan daily to stay on track and make adjustments as needed.

6. Maintain Flexibility

• Adaptability: Be willing to adjust your plans as new information or opportunities arise.

• Continuous Learning: Be open to learning and improving your approach based on feedback and results.

7. Seek Feedback

• Mentorship: Seek advice from mentors or peers who’ve had experience in your area of focus.

• Reflect: Regularly reflect on your progress and identify areas for improvement.

8. Take Action

• Commitment: Commit to taking action, even if it’s imperfect. The act of moving forward is crucial.

• Consistency: Regular, consistent action, even if small, leads to progress over time.

9. Evaluate and Reflect

• Review Progress: Periodically review what you’ve accomplished.

• Learn from Mistakes: Identify what didn’t work and learn from those experiences to refine your approach.

10. Stay Motivated

• Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate small wins to stay motivated.

• Positive Mindset: Maintain a positive attitude and focus on the progress you’ve made, not just what’s left to do.

Practical Example

Let’s say your goal is to write a book. Here’s how you can apply the steps:

1. Define Clear Goals: Set a goal to write a 300-page book within a year.

2. Assess Your Current Situation: Determine your writing speed and available time.

3. Prioritize Tasks: Outline the book’s chapters and prioritize writing the most critical sections first.

4. Break Down Tasks: Break down writing each chapter into smaller tasks, such as drafting an outline, writing 5 pages per day, and revising.

5. Stay Organized: Use a calendar to schedule writing sessions and deadlines for each chapter.

6. Maintain Flexibility: If you encounter writer’s block, be willing to adjust your schedule or change your writing environment.

7. Seek Feedback: Share drafts with peers or mentors for constructive feedback.

8. Take Action: Write daily, even if it’s just a few sentences.

9. Evaluate and Reflect: Review your progress weekly and adjust your plan if necessary.

10. Stay Motivated: Celebrate finishing each chapter and keep a positive outlook on your progress.

You absolutely know what your own “next right thing” is. By following these steps, you can ensure that you bring it to the surface and use it to make progress towards your goals. Remember, ALL progress is progress, even baby steps.

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Why Having a Positive Attitude Matters

Steve Keating Leave a comment

I have written about how to maintain a positive attitude many times. I’ve acknowledged my own shortcomings in that all-important area of life. I’ve talked about your attitude being your choice and how difficult a choice that can be at times…okay, most times.

But I don’t think I’ve ever specifically laid out the actual benefits of maintaining a positive attitude. These benefits are real and they impact most areas of your life. Having a positive attitude is crucial for several reasons. These reasons encompass both personal and interpersonal aspects of life.

Here are some major reasons why maintaining a positive outlook is important for a productive and happy life.

1. Mental and Physical Health

• Stress Reduction: A positive attitude helps in managing stress effectively. People who maintain a positive outlook are better equipped to handle stressful situations. That reduces the overall impact of stress on their mental and physical health.

• Immune System Boost: Positive emotions are linked to improved immune function, making it easier for the body to fend off illnesses.

• Longevity: Studies have shown that people with a positive attitude tend to live longer and lead healthier lives.

2. Resilience and Coping

• Adaptability: A positive attitude fosters resilience. It allows people to adapt to changes and bounce back from setbacks more efficiently.

• Problem-Solving: Optimistic individuals are more likely to approach problems with a focus on solutions. This raises their chances of finding effective resolutions.

3. Relationships and Social Interactions

• Improved Relationships: Positivity attracts others and fosters healthier, more supportive relationships. People are generally more inclined to be around those who emit a positive energy.

• Conflict Resolution: A positive attitude can defuse tensions and lead to more constructive outcomes in conflicts.

4. Performance and Success

• Enhanced Productivity: A positive outlook can increase motivation and energy levels, leading to higher productivity and better performance in both personal and professional settings.

• Goal Achievement: Optimistic individuals tend to set higher goals and persevere through challenges, increasing their likelihood of achieving success.

5. Overall Life Satisfaction

• Happiness: Positivity is strongly linked to higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. People with a positive attitude are more likely to find joy in everyday activities and appreciate the good aspects of life.

• Sense of Purpose: A positive outlook helps individuals find meaning and purpose, contributing to a more fulfilling life.

6. Influence on Others

• Inspirational Impact: Positivity can inspire others. It uplifts them, creating a ripple effect. This effect enhances the mood and outlook of those around you.

• Leadership: Positive Leaders can motivate teams. They also encourage them, fostering a collaborative and innovative environment.

A positive attitude significantly contributes to improved mental and physical health, resilience, and enhanced relationships. It increases productivity, and overall life satisfaction. It not only benefits the individual but also positively influences the people around them.

Be a light for others, share your positivity, and never allow the negativity around you to steal the joy from your life.

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How to Develop Perseverance

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There are many very talented people who fall short of reaching their full potential. They are even more people who set forth on a journey towards success who never reach their final goal or destination.

Many of those simply gave up before they reached their goal. Many of those would have reached that goal if they could have just pushed themselves a little further. But they lacked one of the most important attributes of successful people. That attribute is perseverance.

Perseverance is so critical because with every endeavor comes challenges and obstacles. On every journey towards success there will be times of fatigue and stress. There will always be instances where quitting seems like the practical and perhaps only alternative. But sometimes doing what’s practical is the least practical thing to do.

People with perseverance understand that achieving ultimate success often requires doing the unconventional and many times doing it when they would much prefer not to. If you’re not certain that you have the perseverance required to succeed I have good news for you. You can develop it.

Developing perseverance involves two things. You must cultivate a mindset of success and adopt certain practices. These things help you stay committed to your goals despite challenges and setbacks. Here are some of those practices to help you develop perseverance.

• Set Clear Goals. Define specific, achievable goals that align with your values and aspirations. Having clarity about what you want to achieve will provide you with a sense of direction and purpose. You are never too old to set a new goal and it’s never too late to adjust a goal if circumstances dictate it.

• Break Goals into Smaller Tasks. Divide your goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This makes them less overwhelming and allows you to focus on making progress one step at a time. Never forget, all progress, big or small moves you closer to your goal so never let small steps dissuade you from pushing forward.

• Maintain a Positive Attitude. Cultivate a positive mindset and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles. Instead of dwelling on setbacks, focus on what you can learn from them and how you can improve. Your attitude is always your choice and choosing a positive attitude might be one of the most important choices you’ll ever make.

• Develop Resilience. Understand that setbacks are a natural part of any journey. Learn to bounce back from adversity by building resilience and adapting to challenges.

• Stay Committed. Commit to your goals wholeheartedly and prioritize them in your daily life. Avoid distractions and stay focused on what truly matters to you. Share your goals with people who care enough for you to hold you accountable. None of us exactly likes accountability but we all do better when we have it in our life.

• Practice Self-Discipline. Develop self-discipline by setting routines and sticking to them, even when you don’t feel motivated. Consistent effort over time leads to progress and eventual success.

• Ask for Help. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Also, seek mentors or peers who can encourage you in tough times. Stay away from negative naysayers who are not on the path to success and would like to knock you off yours as well.

• Celebrate Progress. Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your progress can boost your confidence and motivation to keep moving forward. Remember, all progress is progress and therefore worth celebrating.

• Learn from Setbacks. Embrace setbacks as an opportunity for growth and learning. Analyze what went wrong, extract valuable lessons, and use them to improve your approach in the future. Some people would say setbacks are the same as failures. The difference is setbacks are mere interruptions. Setbacks don’t become failures until you choose to not pick yourself up and begin again.

• Stay Flexible. Be willing to adapt your strategies and approach as needed. Sometimes, the path to success may require adjustments and course corrections along the way. The most successfully people expect the unexpected. They know “surprises” are likely to happen and they actually plan accordingly.

• Visualize Success. Use visualization techniques to imagine yourself achieving your goals. Visualizing success can help you stay motivated and focused on your desired outcome. In all likelihood, if you can see it, you can do it.

• Practice Patience. Understand that success often takes time and perseverance. Stay patient and trust the process, even when results may not come as quickly as you’d like. Just make sure you’re not mistaking patience for procrastination. Patience allows you to gather information while resting up a bit. Procrastination stops your momentum and most often leads directly to true failure.

By focusing on these practices and making them a daily habit, you can change your mindset. You will gradually develop greater perseverance and resilience to overcome challenges and achieve your goals.

You will be unstoppable!

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How to Give a Sincere Compliment

Steve Keating 3 Comments

Have you ever received a compliment from someone and immediately wondered what they were up to? You may be thinking they want something in return. Maybe they are about to ask for a favor. You’re not at all certain the compliment is truly sincere.

Lots of people think they’re giving sincere compliments but a truly sincere compliment has two parts. The compliment itself and the “evidence” that proves it’s sincere. It’s easy to say “nice job” and walk away thinking you’ve just given a compliment. But explaining with some level of detail why you believe the person did a nice job requires some effort.

For instance, if they have just interacted with an upset and challenging customer and the customer ended up being pleased with the outcome it can be very tempting to say “nice work” and let it go at that. But consider adding something like, “nice work, that was very impressive the way you calmly interacted with a very upset person. It could have gone very differently but your caring demeanor really saved the day…and likely the customer. Again, very nice work.”

It’s a little more effort but it makes a very big difference. Specificity is the key. If you can’t be specific you’re leaving the door to doubt open in the mind of the person you’re complimenting.

Here are a few additional ideas to consider to make sure your compliments are received the way you intended.

• Be Genuine: Your sincerity should come from a place of authenticity. Avoid giving compliments just for the sake of it; mean what you say.

• Timing Matters: Choose an appropriate time to give a compliment. It could be in response to a specific action, achievement, or simply as a positive acknowledgment.

• Use Positive Language: Frame your compliment in positive language to convey your admiration. Avoid any negative comparisons or qualifiers. Instead of: “You’re not as bad as others at this, try your skills in this area really stand out.”

• Body Language: Non-verbal cues like eye contact and a genuine smile can enhance the sincerity of your compliment. Make sure your tone of voice aligns with your words.

• Avoid Backhanded Compliments: These are compliments that also contain an insult or criticism. They can be easily misinterpreted and may negate the positive intention. An example of a backhanded compliment might be “You’re surprisingly good at this.”

• Personalize the Compliment: Tailor your compliment to the individual and their unique qualities. This shows that you see and appreciate their individuality. Instead of: “You’re good at your job,” try “I’ve noticed your attention to detail in your work. It really sets you apart.”

• Be Mindful of Cultural Sensitivities: Understand the cultural context and be mindful of cultural differences when giving compliments, as what might be considered appropriate in one culture may not be in another.

The key to a sincere compliment is honesty and thoughtfulness. If you’ve ever given someone a compliment and they looked at you a little cross-eyed you may now know why. By acknowledging specific positive qualities or actions, you not only boost the recipient’s confidence but also strengthen your connection with them. It takes a little effort to turn a simple compliment into an undoubtably sincere compliment, but it’s way more than worth it.